In this engaging episode, host Jill Hart interviews Delton Cooper, a life coach who specializes in helping individuals discover their potential and achieve their goals. Delton discusses the significance of asking powerful questions and focusing on the individual’s inner potential rather than imposing solutions.
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Transcript
Hi and welcome to the You World Order Showcase podcast.
Today we are talking with Delton Cooper.
He is.
A life coach.
And not just for musicians.
No, No, For everyone, for everyone.
Everybody has got something for everybody.
Tell us your story, Dalton.
What got you into life coaching?
What got me into life coaching is I've had a.
A challenging past with my childhood and my teenage years and into my early 20s was a real challenge and I never really had any sort of mentor or father figure or any kind of real guidance to help me get through those hard times, you know, understanding what's going on in my mind and what's going on.
In the world.
I didn't have that.
So as I got older and matured and got more life experience.
I realized that this is this is something that.
That's really lacking out here in our society and in our world.
There's a lot of people out there that simply don't have someone to talk to.
You know, to bounce ideas off of to, to basically vent.
If you need to.
Now that that's not what I'm all about, but that is part of my, my coaching style.
So it.
It comes from a place of.
Of authenticity.
It comes from a place of, of genuinely wanting to help and understanding that sometimes you just need to speak with someone that's not gonna be in a judgmental.
Mind state or someone that's going to.
Tell you what to do with your life.
A lot of times people just.
Need to sort out their own thoughts and their own processes for achieving their goals.
And I think a lot of times in in life coaching a lot of coaches missed that.
Sometimes and just.
Go with what their plan is and.
What they think they should do but.
I truly believe that.
Coaching should.
Consider that all the answers are already inside of us.
Sometimes we just need to be asked the right questions to bring those out and that's what I focus on, is asking powerful questions.
That's really an.
Important key I think to any kind of.
Life help is asking questions and not being attached to the outcome.
And allowing the person space to make.
Decisions that are best for them but being drawn.
Along the path to.
To get there so.
Who? Who would your?
Ideal client be do you think?
My ideal client is someone who.
Wants to get more out of life.
They want to create something bigger and better for their own life.
You know it.
It's not just about someone that's struggling or somebody that's in a bad place in life.
It's also about the people who are successful and want to grow that success.
Are people that are, say, maybe it might be in a like an example would be somebody that have a job that they just don't want to do anymore, they don't hate it, but they want something else.
To motivate them and something else to kind of stir that that fire inside of them.
And that's what I would do.
I sit down with them and I ask them questions and we figure out what would light that fire.
And once we figure out what would light that fire.
Now let's come up with the plan to find the fuel and the matches and how are we going to fan this?
Flame, once it gets started.
Yeah, I can see people needing that a lot.
There's so many people that are trapped in, like, corporate jobs and just not even just corporate jobs, just like.
Jobs that are dead end.
You just go every day because you have to go.
But they have something.
Everybody has something that they're gifted with and.
It's really.
Interesting to get to explore those.
Those passions that maybe have been hidden.
It takes me back to my childhood in the way that I was raised.
You know, I'm a Gen Xer.
I'm 50 years old.
I'm a Gen Xer
We were raised to get a job, stay there for 30 years. Counting your retired 401K and that that's not.
That that's not realistic nowadays for the masses to be able to do that.
If you're lucky to do that, that's awesome, but it's not for everybody.
You know it.
It's just too much instability and.
All that so.
Growing up with that mindset, I was always looking for that perfect job, always looking for that perfect situation that I could stay at.
For 20 years.
And The funny thing about is as I went along in life, when I got older.
My mother.
My mother, who actually one day pulled me to the side.
I never forget it.
We're sitting in a garage and said she wanted to apologize to me for something.
And I'm like, what are you?
What are you talking about?
And she wanted to apologize for the fact that she had never taught me and my sister how to dream.
Yeah, and that was a powerful moment for me like.
Wow, I never even thought about that, that I was never taught how to dream.
And when you're not taught how to dream, you have all these.
Dreams inside of you that you don't legitimize, you just keep pressing down and pressing down, and then eventually you look up.
You're 20 years on the job and you really wanted to be a playwright.
You know, you really wanted to be, you know, a an architect, but you're working this corporate job that you.
Don't want to because that's the way we were, we were told.
Where you went to school and that's where you ended up.
And now you're, like, trapped in it because you got all these obligations and you're raising families and.
When you're talking about those dreams being trapped inside and not being able to dream, it reminded me of when I was in school and we were told you.
Know. Stop daydreaming.
Daydreaming is like where ideas are born.
It first starts as a dream.
There's people around us that have.
Spider goats.
They're goats, that they're, they're milked, they're had DNA of spiders that make this really strong silk spliced into them.
And so they can milk the goats and synthesize the spider silk out of the milk.
And it it's got medical and industrial applications that they use this silk for and they're just like normal goats.
They're really cute and lots of fun to play.
With but.
You know you have to think who thought
OK, let's have spider goats.
Yeah, it.
It all starts with a dream, all starts.
With an ideal you know a.
A an impulse.
You know it starts there
Yeah, but if you're not dreaming, if you're not having daydreams, if you're not, like visualizing things that could be, then, then you're just being denied.
Like so much of the potential.
Of your life.
Yeah, and I can actually say that.
I felt at one point that I was a victim of that.
But I see now through coaching the path that I walked.
It, it led me to this exact point right here.
It led me to this interview with.
With Jill Hart.
It led me right here, you know, because I always thought that I couldn't understand why I had so many experiences and why I had been through so much, and why I survived so much without
Without serious questions.
That's where jail.
It's like I think I'm.
I'm probably the only one of my friends that never been to jail.
Yeah, you know, I've been.
To the police station on traffic tickets.
You know, stuff like that.
But I've never been to jail or prison you.
Know it's just.
I don't want to.
That's not that was never a goal.
Of mine so.
Yeah, but it's really hard.
I have kids.
I've been to the police station many times, it isn’t because they're bad people.
It's just because they.
Made some bad decisions.
Along the line.
Yeah, you know, we, we, we were all kids and figured, you know, I'll pay that ticket next paycheck and the next paycheck, there's a party.
Right.
You need to go.
To the next paycheck.
There's an outfit you need to buy, you know, I'll just drive perfect.
I'll never get.
Pulled over and it.
Never works so.
No, it doesn’t.
And I think it's a scam anyway, so.
It is. It is.
That's a difference.
Let's not get into the insurance and the and the police and all.
How all that works together too so.
Yeah, because most of it's just designed to suck.
Money out of your pocket?
That’s right
Kind of.
Like a big game.
It really is it really
Is it really is a system.
We live in a system and part of the system is don't dream, go to work and work for somebody.
Else for 20 years.
Yeah, if you dream.
And if you dream they call you crazy, they call you ohh you're just you're just wasting your time doing that stuff.
You know, you're just.
Your head are in the your head is in the clouds, and the thing I think about what's wrong with my head being in the cloud.
Why is that a bad thing?
It's better up there.
Lot better.
Up there, the air is better.
For sure.
Yeah, for sure.
Kind of reminds me of that experiment they did with the monkeys where they.
I forget how it goes, but it ends up like the other monkeys keep pulling the monkey who's trying to make trying to get to the banana that's at the top of this thing.
He knows how to get up there, but somebody at one of the monkeys along the line early on had been injured doing it, so it kept pulling the monkeys back down.
And would never let them get ahead.
Which is just.
Like it, people do that with each other.
It's just.
Like you, you try to get.
And then there's somebody that's trying to pull you down and it's.
Is because of these systems that have been in place and it's just.
Like we're.
Taught you go to school, you do.
You stand in line and you don't touch your neighbor and you don't talk in class and you just do exactly what you're told.
Don't question anything.
And I think we've moved into a.
Paradigm shift in.
Society, at least in America, but I think it's almost worldwide where people.
Are saying no that that's just not.
Working for me.
I want to do something different.
There's more to my life than just getting up and going to a job and then coming home.
Yeah, that.
That's so that's so true.
And then the to go back to your, your theory about.
The monkeys.
I think what I use is called crabs in a barrel.
You know, as a crab is going out, the other crabs pull it back down.
And a lot of it.
And that happens for a lot of different reasons, a lot of lot of times it's jealousy.
You know, it's envy. Then a lot of times, it's that person's own legitimate fear and experiences and their.
The programming they've had putting them to fear any kind of change, so they're trying to protect you by telling you don't start your life coaching business.
Don't, don't dream.
Don't you don't you reach for that cause it might burn you.
At the same time, at the same time, they themselves have never reached for anything.
They have no idea what.
The temperature is.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly so.
It's interesting how things are changing though, and the more people that I talk to and that I see making, making a difference and stepping out, even though they might have been afraid.
And you know.
Everybody can fail, but I don't think failure is like the end game.
When I was young.
If you got fired from a job, it was like.
The worst thing in the world?
But now it's just like.
Ohh I got fired. Thanks.
A different opportunity.
Now it's just things that used to be like, so soul crushing in the past or like.
They're not even important anymore.
And that's what a lot of our you know, my generation is realizing that we were sold.
A dream.
But the dream was to be a worker bee
Yeah, that was that was a dream.
They sold us.
If you become the perfect worker bee, your life will be perfect.
You'll be.
Happy and it's just not true.
And I see a lot of people now reevaluating.
Their value systems, not just their jobs but their entire value systems.
What's really important to me?
You know, is it this work life or is it my home life?
You know and it and it's and I think that's the perfect role for a coach is to be a cheerleader in those situations to say, hey, yeah, you can do it.
Let's stop.
Let's talk about it.
Let's come up with a plan to do it, and we'll talk about your why?
We'll talk about your, your, your, how, and we'll come up with the plan.
And the way that I coach, the most important thing is always the why?
There's always the why?
And then then the plan plans are important, though.
And then the.
You know, if you know where you where you want to end up, it's easier to get there than just wandering out into the street.
And hoping that you'll arrive at the place that you.
Maybe sort of thought you wanted to.
Exactly, yeah.
Road maps are kind of important.
And then when you when you figure out when and when people realize their own personal whys for things, it actually opens up more opportunities.
Because you say, OK, I wanna.
I wanna open up my own candle shop.
Well, why do you want to open up a candle shop?
Well, I want to open up a candle shop because, you know, I want people to experience nice scents and nice fragrance.
I want people's houses.
To smell good
Well, why is that?
Well, when I was a kid, you know, my house used to always smell and I wanted to.
You know, I always wanted candles in my house and couldn't have them.
So what's your real why?
And it might be something like.
I really want people to have a better quality of life while they're at home.
OK, well, what else?
What else could you put in your home to improve your quality of life?
Well, I can do candles.
I can do different drapes.
I can change this.
I can move my furniture
OK, well, let's start there.
And it just starts with.
Asking a few questions and like moving, moving the conversation.
Expanding it, you contract it and then you expand it, which helps people get a bigger picture.
Of the possibilities.
And sometimes people just have been, like, so downtrodden that they don't.
They don't recognize that there's so many opportunities.
I think now there's more opportunities than there has ever been out there.
And along with the opportunities, I think goes back to our, our, our conversation, a lot of people don't even realize their own potential.
I don't even realize that you actually can open up a candle shop if you want to.
That that's a legitimate solid idea you can do.
That's not a dream.
That's your ally.
Let's put some let's put let's put a parent plan in place to get you some candles going.
And a lot of people don't even they think it's.
It's back to that whole dream thing. Make it a reality.
And there's so many ways to do.
Just about anything these days, you can make money even like doing.
Not really producing anything tangible.
Let me put it that way.
It's I I'm so excited about the potential.
For the world, right?
Now just like.
With the content creators just create content.
You just talk, yeah.
Yeah, tiktok influencers and Instagram.
And my daughter started a YouTube channel of a month ago.
And she's doing really well.
She's like.
350 subscribers and. Awesome
And it's just like something she was doing on the side, and it could really blow up for her.
And it's just doing something that she enjoys doing, and she's young and she has.
She has this attitude about life where.
She realizes she has to.
Make some income so she'll go and get jobs and she'll make income.
To you know, keep.
The roof over her head.
Yeah, but she's always like looking out for other things.
And she has so many interests, and it just makes her such a fascinating person to spend time with.
Yes, yes, I mean it.
It's refreshing to be around someone like that, that believes in possibilities.
I think the younger.
Generation like I'm talking like the Gen. Z people. She's really young, she's like 19, and I have one that's 41.
And one that's 19.
Three boys in between, but.
It's just they're more interested in.
And producing things that.
Feel good to them and that contribute that.
That are more kind of aligned with who they are and why they're here, rather than just being the worker bee thing.
It it's.
For me, I guess I look at it like is this having pride in yourself?
You know, I.
That's something we were never taught.
We were supposed to have pride in our business and.
Our company we work for.
And these kids now they grow up and they don't know anything about a corporate, you know, corporate ladder.
And our country.
You know, they think about a corporate ladder, but they do know what they love to do, and they're seeing their friends make money doing the same thing.
And then realizing I could do it too.
Weird jobs like, you know the Mike Rows of the world that they're doing the Dirty jobs.
I have a.
Kid that.
He he's a he works on rock crushers and there's so many opportunities for jobs like that out there for people that are just.
This is.
That you're outside, you're living your life, you're not locked in a cubicle and never seeing the sun.
And I think those kinds of opportunities are.
I'm kind of amazing and they're needed.
There's so many.
Things out there that you can do.
That are just like.
We need them to keep society running.
And these kids are figuring it out.
One by one you need it.
Because they're, we're we as parents have given them that that freedom.
To dream.
You know, because we know what it feels like.
To have our dreams crushed and stepped on and pushed down, you know, and we all raise our kids not wanting to be like our parents or not wanting to hurt our kids like our parents hurt us, you know, and whatever form that may be, they they're going to do it totally different, going totally different.
Yeah, but we do it in a.
Totally different way.
And I think that was one of the main things is like we're not going to force our kids to do anything.
Because we were forced to do everything.
Yeah. And.
Maybe there's a balance in there somewhere, but.
Yeah, there definitely is about.
There are some things you have to force them to do, like some kids you got to force.
Them to take a bath, but yeah.
It's the little things in life.
Yeah, it's still, it's always the little things too that they just refuse to do on a consistent basis just.
Yeah, but when they're when they're adults.
Like, go wash your car.
Go wash your car.
You're gonna come back and say, oh, I was so traumatized.
Cause you made me take.
A bath, yeah.
So it's all about perspective.
I'll never make my kids take baths.
It's all about perspective.
It's all about perspective.
It is for sure.
How do how do people work with you normally?
The way people usually work with me is.
I usually reach out in different ways, but right now Facebook is probably the best way.
To reach me and.
Once you reach out, we set up a initial connect call and we take about an hour out to see if we even like each other.
That one, that first call was always gifted, you know, was never charged for.
That at all. And.
It's just a basic filling out session to see if.
We to see if you like me and I like you.
Because the relationship between a, a coach and a client is crucial because you really are affecting people's lives, you're affecting their families, you're affecting their work.
You're affecting things in in people's lives, so you want to.
Make sure that this is a good fit.
And I'm the first one to say it's everybody's not gonna like me.
Everybody's not going.
To be I'm not gonna be everybody's cup of tea
Which is awesome, which is awesome for me because I want to truly be able to help someone.
You know, if I have to.
Turn down three people to help one person.
Significantly, it's worth it.
To me, it's worth.
It to me.
So that's basically how it work.
And then we just sit down we.
We work together.
We work together as a team.
You know, it's not me telling you how to.
Live your life.
It's me asking you powerful questions in.
Order for you.
To come up with a, a direction and a focus that you want to go in, what do you?
Want to create.
You know, through these coaching sessions and we go.
From there and.
The, the, the, the honest, most powerful question is what do you want to create?
And that's where we go from.
Giving them all the power to be who they were meant to be. Yes, very good. So what's the one thing you want to leave the audience with today? What's the one take away that you hope they walk away with?
The one take away I hope everyone walks away from is.
Forgive yourself for not dreaming.
But once you forgive yourself.
For not dreaming, start dreaming.
Just Do It like Nike says. Yeah, just do it.
All right, So what is your Facebook?
How did they find you on Facebook?
This my name. My name is Delton Cooper. Just look me up on Facebook. You'll see. My my DC live coaching logo and all that. Or you can just send me an e-mail at the letter D coaching kc@gmail.com.
And we'll set up that, like I said, that first initial gifted session, we'll sit down to see if.
To see we've.
And I hate to make it so simple, but it is if we even like each other.
It's really the first thing and your relationship.
Well, Delton I have really appreciated your time today and for you sharing with us your great insight into what makes.
A good life coach.
Well, thank you for having me.
I definitely appreciate it.
You're awesome, Jill. Thank you.
Thank you.