Loren Paige – Embrace Confidence in 7 Days!

In this podcast, Loren Paige shares her journey of helping introverted career women gain confidence in social and professional settings. Motivated by her personal struggle, Loren discusses her transformation through mindset shifts, coaching, and the importance of embracing discomfort to build confidence.

Discover more at LorenPaige.com

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Transcript

00:00:01

Hi and welcome to the You World

00:00:03

Order Showcase Podcast today.

00:00:05

We are talking with Lauren Page Turner.

00:00:10

Soon to be.

00:00:11

Smith. Yeah. So Lauren helps career women become confident.

00:00:17

That's a great niche to be in.

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Especially for professional women who really need to get their message out there, but sometimes.

00:00:27

Don't really feel like.

00:00:29

They want to be heard. They just want to, like, hide in the back. So how did you get started with this? What? What motivated?

00:00:37

You to help, introverts

00:00:40

Yes. Well, Jill, you know, I am an introvert myself, so this is comes from a personal struggle I just.

00:00:50

I was working in a corporate job and I.

00:00:53

Didn't love it.

00:00:55

But I knew that I had to network.

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And meet new people in order to move up or to find where I wanted to go. And I also had wanted to run to my own business as well. This was about.

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Six or seven years ago at this point, and I was really into personal finance, I still am. But clearly I've shifted careers, but I wanted to start my own personal finance business and I had my website.

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Up and I.

00:01:21

Had the business plan, but when it came time to actually promoting myself and talking to people and doing that networking

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I completely shut down it just.

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It really made me realize, like, oh I.

00:01:32

Am not good at this.

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Like, I'm really terrified putting myself out there and talking to people in a way that comes across confidently because what I've found over these, these past few years is it's really important to have a strong set of social skills, because if you don't.

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Like it's one thing to put yourself in a room with other people, but it's another to come across as.

00:01:58

Confident and well put together. And if you're not all the way confident, it does have an impact on people believing in you or people wanting to promote you. People wanting to hire you for the next position. So I'm like, OK, this is actually a really crucial skill to learn. So.

00:02:18

I had found I was doing some soul searching on podcasts and I found the Life Coach School podcast and.

00:02:27

Brooke Castillo was explaining what the model was and how your thoughts create your feelings and drive your actions, and then create results. So this really shined a huge light on what I was thinking about myself and about other people. And it allowed me to be able to start to change some of my core beliefs.

00:02:47

I'm not enough. I'm not smart enough. I should be extroverted.

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It caused me to start changing all those beliefs and I learned a lot of tools and a lot of techniques that has since helped me feel much more confidence talking to people and meeting people.

00:03:04

And as I was anticipating, it's completely changed my world. I've had so many more opportunities.

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Since going through this transformation and.

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Now I just really want to share that with other introverted quiet people, quite women, because I know how.

00:03:26

How miserable it felt to really believe that I wasn't good enough and I never was going to reach the level of success that I wanted because I just wasn't the type of person that could talk to a lot of people. It, it felt awful and it felt like I was trapped in my own personality, and now I just, I really AM.

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Passionate about helping people see the greatness within them so that they can achieve these things, it's helping them believe.

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It's me believing in them until they can believe in themselves essentially so.

00:03:59

That's kind of how I got started in all of.

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This was just.

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Personal experience. How long have you actually been coaching?

00:04:07

I got certified in 2023.

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And then I've been. I did. You know, I did some practice coaching, but full time I've been coaching since for.

00:04:17

About two years.

00:04:19

Actually, right around it's September is the 2.

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Year Mark so.

00:04:23

Yes, yes.

00:04:23

It's your anniversary. It is your anniversary.

00:04:26

Basically, when we got to September so fast and this.

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I know August flew by.

00:04:33

Yeah. And it'll be November when this actually airs, like, just before the holidays.

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Yes, Eden, it really helps.

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Year has gone by so fast.

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You speak so.

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Eloquently. It's as though you have always had this confidence. When do you? When do you think?

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That changed for you.

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You know, I appreciate that because I've worked on it a lot.

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I think it.

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A couple of years for it to like fully change because it was.

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Getting comfortable.

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You know, like when you first start out, you are still battling those.

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Thoughts that make you not feel confident because you've been holding on to them.

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For so long.

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So it's really it takes some time to move out of that belief, but I think.

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It took a couple of years of.

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Really, I would say the biggest thing that's helped me get to this point was continuously challenging myself.

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Because you it's one thing to talk about it theoretically, but it's another to put yourselves in situations where you have to practice, actually.

00:05:40

Letting yourself feel discomfort as you are working on becoming confident because there's no shortcut. There's no magic pill that's going to get you confident. Like, just like that. It does take time. It takes practice. Yeah, overall about a couple of years to really get to a point where I'm like, OK, I can walk into a room.

00:06:01

And I can carry a conversation without feeling like I'm faking it or I'm pretending like I'm somebody else. You know how we sometimes we need to meet new people and it's like this polite, watered down version of ourselves because we just want everybody.

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To like us.

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It took some time to get over that.

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But we did it.

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We got there.

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Do you allow yourself the grace to have?

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Times when you can just be alone and not have to be on.

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100%.

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Do you find that challenging?

00:06:36

Yeah, I love my alone time for one, but.

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I'm glad that you brought that up, because when I like, even now, like, even as far.

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As I've.

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Come in my transformation with my personality. There are still sometimes where I go out to social events or networking events and for whatever reason I'm just riddled with anxiety again. And so sometimes.

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In those moments, I try not to resist the feeling. I'm just that's fine. We're going through this again. You know, it's not like success isn't or progress isn't like a straight line up. You know, it's like highs and lows, highs and lows. And so I accept that. And when those moments come up, I just let it be OK. It's like alright, today's just not the day where I'm meeting a lot of new people.

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It's just.

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I am just feeling uncomfortable and I'm just going to I allow myself to. I let it be OK that I'm quiet in some moments, so it's not 100% on all the time and I feel like because I do that because I allow myself that space to just like it's OK for quiet right now. That's totally fine.

00:07:41

We can try this again next time, because I do that I think.

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The what do you call it? The recovery period from when I'm feeling anxiety to when I'm not. It's shorter rather than if I walk into a space and I'm like, no, you should be more talkative. Like why are you doing this? We've worked so hard like you. This shouldn't be an issue anymore. You overcome this. If I was like telling myself these things, it would.

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Just make me feel more.

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I would just be judging myself and then I'd be causing even more anxiety, which would just make that period of time where I just want to hide it lasts so.

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Much longer so.

00:08:17

Good point that you brought up, I think it is very important to give yourself the grace to just.

00:08:22

Be human as we are figuring things out.

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There's a lot of talk about I'm an introvert or I'm an extrovert, and I think people are really omniverses. You may trend towards one side or the other, and you can do a lot of exercises to really make it.

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Make your personality trend towards one side or the other that I know very few people, and I've known a lot of people that were really.

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Powerful influencers, but they too need time alone. I think everybody needs time.

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People that don't take time.

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For themselves and to just.

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Listen to their own thoughts tend to be really scattered and kind of manic.

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They don't pull back enough to have.

00:09:23

For this I guess is the best way to put it.

00:09:25

Yeah. Yeah. I feel like it's so important to take some time to reflect on what you've been learning and like what you think about things and who you are.

00:09:37

Yeah. I think for anybody that's important.

00:09:41

And and working with career women.

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How do you how do you?

00:09:48

Buying these people how do you interact with them?

00:09:50

What do you?

00:09:51

What are you doing for them? How do you, coach? Tell us about that.

00:09:56

Yes. Well, typically, I mean, I do have social media, but for the I think the majority of my clients I found or they found me through Google search or I found them through networking events and I it's just a matter of me saying like Oh yeah, I Coach interpreted women on like their social skills and feeling confident. They're like what? I didn't know this.

00:10:16

Because this did.

00:10:17

I need that, but typically how coaching works is.

00:10:22

We really start with again the idea that your thoughts are key. So how you think about yourself is so important. And I and I really show them that we kind of like, explore and dig into some of their core beliefs and showing them how that is creating results in their life. And then we start to work on their self-image and what they think about themselves and really starting to change.

00:10:46

What they believed about themselves for 20 plus years and really started to interrogate those thoughts and change them and show them that there was a completely different way to think about this, to perceive yourself and to perceive the world.

00:11:00

So coaching typically looks like me asking them questions about what they think about themselves, or they think about other people. What are their afraid other people are thinking of them and why is that a problem? And.

00:11:13

And and just really taking the time to explore all of those and to question everything. So it's really a huge mindset, reframe essentially, it's what coaching.

00:11:27

And you have a A7 day challenge that.

00:11:30

I was kind of poking around your website.

00:11:34

How does that work?

00:11:35

So the seven day challenge I came up with this idea, it's transform your social skills in seven days and it is everything that I've learned.

00:11:47

I'll share a quick back story. When I was I was living in, I live in Ohio now. I was living in Arizona for a couple.

00:11:52

Of years.

00:11:53

And I found myself in a position where one of the best friends I had moved there with actually moved to a different city because she found her husband, which happy for her. But then I was like, oh, I have no friends here in Arizona. Like, I don't know.

00:12:07

One and it's I was on a mission to find my own group of friends I had never in my life intentionally gone out to find people that I connect with. This people have always just kind of fallen into my lap because we work together or because we're in class together. Whatever the case. So it's like I've never actually intentionally found people that I like.

00:12:27

And so.

00:12:29

Through that journey, I learned a lot of different I'll share the main one that like changed my world. I it was a lot of different mindset shifts along this journey that I share in this seven. That transformer, social skills and seven days and one of the biggest ones was instead of walking into a room.

00:12:50

And looking around and.

00:12:51

Oh, I hope everyone here likes me like I just. And I think that's so natural. I think so many of us walk into a room and think that we just all want to be liked. But what I realized what was happening was I was thinking.

00:13:02

And again, your thoughts create your feelings. So from thinking, I hope everyone here likes me, the feeling it created within myself was I was really. I was kind of needy and like desperate. And there's like, I just hope, you know, I gotta I have to act in certain ways, but everyone likes me. So with that feeling of desperation, of people liking me, it drove my actions so.

00:13:24

That looked like me. You know, the plight watered down version of me. I was super agreeable. I wasn't talking about anything that I thought would offend anyone.

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And and the result that I was creating for myself was I wasn't connecting with anyone, not really not on a deep level because I wasn't allowing the chance for anybody to actually get to know the real me.

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And so.

00:13:45

The next time I went to a I was like on Facebook meetups and I met this cool group of girls and the next time I went to their events, I was like sitting in my car right before walking into the house. There was like a party going on, things like Christmas time and.

00:14:02

I thought to myself like I just, I wanna have fun. Like I'm so sick of pretending to be somebody else and it's like it's honestly, it's boring and I never get anything out of it. So I'm going to be selfish. I'm just gonna talk.

00:14:12

About the things.

00:14:13

I want to talk about and.

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I walked into the house and I was like, OK, who here do I like? So it was like that one mindset shift changed.

00:14:22

My world, Jill, because when I walked in, instead of thinking, I hope every I hope everyone here likes me. And I thought, OK, who here do I like?

00:14:30

It was no longer coming from a place of desperation. It was coming from a place of curiosity, and I was able to just start getting really curious about.

00:14:39

People and and comfortable talking about the things that I wanted to talk about and see if they resonate with me rather than the other way around. And by doing that, I swear that very same day I met a group of people who I'm still friends with to this day because we were able to connect on a deeper level and I felt like they got me. I got them and it was.

00:15:00

It was amazing. So that's simple shaft of who here do I like?

00:15:04

Was one of the seven things that changed the way I show up at networking events, social events and so that's like one of the seven things in the challenge that I explained to everyone. And I thought that the challenge was a fun way to.

00:15:22

Give people quick wins because I include journal prompts and I include a challenge that they could do every day, so it is something that cause again, you can't grow unless you're challenging yourself. So it's something that they can do to.

00:15:36

Take what they've.

00:15:36

Learned and apply it in real life to help.

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Them grow so.

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It is 1/1.

00:15:42

Applying, I think that is what?

00:15:45

Where all the magic happens. You could read tons of books and you could know what they all say, but unless you put them into you, apply what they're telling you about, then you haven't really learned. Because actually the definition of the word to learn is to cause a change in your action and behavior.

00:16:03

Oh, interesting. I didn't know the definition. OK, good to know.

00:16:09

I love that, but.

00:16:09

Of when you're learning, you should be changing.

00:16:13

Yes, yes. And I think you.

00:16:17

You need to challenge yourself to practice feeling those emotions cause it feels scary. It feels like you're going to die when you are putting yourself out there. You know, we're afraid of the rejection and that feels terrifying. Like physically in your body. It does not feel good.

00:16:34

But when you practice, letting that feeling be there, you realize, OK, this isn't actually going to kill me. Like this is actually OK. I can handle this emotion. So yes, the challenging or the challenges are so important to actually.

00:16:51

I was.

00:16:54

I've had to talk in front of large groups of people before, and I always get anxious before that happens and I'm.

00:17:00

And probably slant more toward the extrovert side. I'll. I'll get up in front of anybody and talk, but I do tend to get anxious sometimes, and I saw these exercises, the power, power positions. Have you heard of those?

00:17:17

Yes, like the like the Superman, yes.

00:17:20

Like yeah, you see?

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Put your arms up.

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High and and breathe deep and stare at yourself in the mirror.

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For a little while.

00:17:28

Because it changes your Physiology. It's so interesting how these chemicals that.

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Go through our bodies, change how we feel.

00:17:37

When we're doing something like that, so.

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When you're talking.

00:17:40

About being anxious before going into a group or having to sit with these emotions, it's just a chemical reaction that's happening in your body that's foreign to you that you don't really.

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Recognize and you're not comfortable with because it's different and we tend to recognize different it not that it's good or bad, it's just that it's different and it's hard.

00:18:07

Just sit with a different long enough for it to feel comfortable and I think that's what you're talking about when it comes to doing these challenges, just sit with that until it feels OK.

00:18:20

And and it will.

00:18:20

Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. Well, set. It was funny. I was just watch. I was re watching the Ted Lasso seasons and I think have you seen that show? Well, there's this. Uh, there's this character, Rebecca, who actually does that power pose. She's like in the mirror. She ought to go into, like.

00:18:36

A big meeting and she's like.

00:18:38

And she, like, like, does funny faces. That's so funny that you that she mentioned that but.

00:18:45

Yeah, we, I think we often.

00:18:48

Perceive things that are different as dangerous.

00:18:51

And that's not necessarily the case.

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It's not dangerous. It's just different.

00:18:58

And just different and a lot of it comes from our childhood. You know how we were raised. I think I probably was an introvert, but I had to move around and make friends like every two years, like my whole.

00:19:12

Panoply of people that I knew.

00:19:14

Would go away. Start over.

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But you learn how to.

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To kind of size up this.

00:19:23

Situation and and feel.

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The fields because when you go into an area or a group that you don't know anyone.

00:19:34

It it's uncomfortable.

00:19:37

It is, yeah.

00:19:38

And you really do need to rely on your intuition what your body is telling you.

00:19:44

Cause your body.

00:19:45

Will give you signals.

00:19:47

But most people are just.

00:19:48

Like, oh, I'm just anxious that your body's trying to tell you that it's concerned.

00:19:55

For the situation.

00:19:58

And there's I, you know, I think the power poses help.

00:20:02

Yeah. And you know what's interesting? When you're listening to your body and you're realizing that it's concerned about something, it's good to question it, like, well, what am I concerned about? And is that actually real? Like, sometimes our brains will come up with, like, crazy scenarios that are by no means true. It's just good to do a little chicken.

00:20:03

Reset your body in.

00:20:24

Love Marissa appears in her, you know.

00:20:26

Tell yourself a better lie.

00:20:27

Because often we.

00:20:29

We always are lying to ourselves. Our brain lies to us all the time. It tells us stuff that's just simply not true, but because it's come to believe it or accept it as some pattern that it's comfortable with.

00:20:44

That protects us that. Yeah, it's just like.

00:20:47

Well, no, I'm just going to pretend like this.

00:20:52

Until you believe it.

00:20:53

Exactly. And it's so funny that you said until you like pretend, but it's literally what it feels like. It's kind of you just start to tell yourself you interrupt the default thoughts. I call them the thoughts that we've kind of just been conditioned to believe, interrupt them with some new thoughts and just it feels like.

00:20:53

And that will be true.

00:21:12

Like you are just pretending to believe it until eventually. If you keep practicing it long enough and you're intentional about it, and eventually it does start to click like, OK, hold on.

00:21:23

I remember I was coaching this one woman and she was like.

00:21:27

I spoke up in this meeting and I was like, who am I? Like? She surprised herself. Like it's working. Yes, it's coming together.

00:21:35

Yeah. Yeah, it's.

00:21:37

It's really exciting when you start to notice.

00:21:41

Things that happen just I've had clients where they.

00:21:48

They told me what they wanted when I was life coaching and they had their vision statement and wrote it all out and they were kind of like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:22:00

Like, not really believing that it would happen and.

00:22:03

Then one day they were posting on social media, and it was.

00:22:06

Like, do you realize that everything.

00:22:09

You talked about in that vision you just posted about in this post and it was like exactly.

00:22:18

Incredible. It's like things are so powerful.

00:22:23

They really are. They really.

00:22:25

Just using them to create the life that we want and the interactions that we want with people, it really just starts with what we're thinking about the situation.

00:22:36

MM.

00:22:36

And we can.

00:22:37

Think anything we want.

00:22:38

Because there's no rules.

00:22:40

Right. Yeah. But it it's so it's such a simple concept, but I think I guess it's so simple that people don't see the power behind it, but it really has, it's changed my entire, my entire world.

00:22:55

Everything starts with your.

00:22:57

Thoughts. Everything that's been created started as a the.

00:23:00

That somewhere.

00:23:02

Now I talk about spider goats all the time, because there's these weird goats that live here that they're milk. There's they have spider DNA spliced into their genetics. So there's still spider silk in their in their milk. So you can milk them and then synthesize out the spider silk.

00:23:22

From the milk.

00:23:24

And and they use it for medical and.

00:23:30

Technology, weapons, basically Kevlar and stuff like that because the spider silk is so strong and powerful. But.

00:23:37

Oh wow.

00:23:43

I mean, it's like better than Kevlar but thought let's make spider goats.

00:23:54

I have to look this up because that sounds fascinating.

00:23:57

Logan, UT it's in the.

00:24:00

Egg, egg thing that they do, it's.

00:24:03

I've been to visit them.

00:24:05

They're cute little goats because you know they're goats.

00:24:08

Good to keep.

00:24:13

Just fun to kind of think of looking around to everything like, oh, that that started with a thought. That was just an idea before and I love seeing ideas turn into reality. It's such an exciting thing to witness, but.

00:24:27

Is everything you know.

00:24:29

We look at art and music and think, oh, that's so beautiful and.

00:24:33

And it was a.

00:24:34

Thought, but even the mundane things like, you know the cushions on.

00:24:38

Your couch behind you.

00:24:41

Or the pink color on your.

00:24:43

Wall. I mean somebody.

00:24:46

Came up with the.

00:24:47

That palette to make paint out of.

00:24:51

So that you could put that specific.

00:24:53

Color on your wall.

00:24:55

Just like how much thought has gone into everything.

00:25:04

And then it's fun to see that, and then to think that you can think of anything and you can make it happen. You can create it, you might not know the exact path to.

00:25:18

Get there. But what I love to do, it's always fun to challenge, challenge the brain and just think, OK? But if I did know if I had to guess, what would be the next step? What do I what do?

00:25:27

I think could be the path to get there and it's just so fascinating. Once I started doing this myself and I started not letting myself say, well, I don't know.

00:25:35

I don't know what to do next. I don't know how to do that.

00:25:38

When I stopped.

00:25:40

Letting myself say I don't know, and started to challenge myself. OK, but if I did know, what would it be? It's fascinating how your brain loves to come up with an answer, and I just think we just don't challenge our brain to come up with an answer in the 1st place. We just accept that. I don't know, we move on. But when you do challenge it and and kind of test it to see, OK.

00:26:01

If I did know, what would it be? It's it was just fascinating. I'm like, OK, wait. I do have ideas. I do. I can't think of where to start, what to do next.

00:26:11

Just by that simple question.

00:26:13

I heard this, I just probably been like 12 or 15 years ago now, but it.

00:26:20

It had to do with affirmations.

00:26:21

And it it's like.

00:26:23

Ask affirmations or say affirmations in the form.

00:26:27

Of a question.

00:26:28

Like if you want to be like you know I am rich or I am wealthy 1 so why am I so wealthy? Why does money?

00:26:36

Come to me so easily.

00:26:38

And if you think.

00:26:39

Those kinds of thoughts and ask yourself those kinds of questions regularly. You will find that.

00:26:47

Money will just come to.

00:26:48

You out of the blue?

00:26:50

In weird ways it just happens because your brain is looking for it. It wants to prove you true it. And when you make statements like, why? Why does this happen to me? It's so amazing. Yes. Then your brain is like.

00:27:07

Well, yeah, yeah. See, look over there that.

00:27:10

Just happened. I'm proving you right because.

00:27:12

You're always.

00:27:13

Right.

00:27:15

That's such a good point. And that's exactly what I think coaching helps, that that helps you look for evidence for why you're amazing and why you're enough and why you're smart enough and why you don't have to be extroverted. But because, yes, I think the majority of the time we're.

00:27:30

We're finding all the reasons why we're not good enough or why we can't do something and your brain will look for that evidence and it will find that evidence. And then it's like a self fulfilling prophecy.

00:27:40

So when you do the opposite.

00:27:43

That's like the magic ATM.

00:27:47

Is it's the magic.

00:27:48

Right.

00:27:50

The secret to a happy life is knowing how to ask your brain the proper questions.

00:27:52

Yeah, it's.

00:27:56

Exactly. Exactly.

00:27:58

And to turn off that chatterbox, when it starts and and really controlling your thoughts, because our thoughts are the things that give reality, it's.

00:28:09

Punch in our lives.

00:28:16

I was going to say one follow up thing and I just lost my train.

00:28:19

Of thought.

00:28:21

Maybe it'll come back to me.

00:28:24

OK, sorry. Get going. It's just like.

00:28:27

No, you're totally fine.

00:28:30

I love when.

00:28:32

Talking about how powerful the brain is and and how much it can create different realities in your life and it can change. Create change in your.

00:28:41

Life, I mean.

00:28:42

Nobody stays the same forever, and as you get older and things happen and you know people come and go in your life.

00:28:52

Your thoughts kind of keep evolving and if?

00:28:56

You if you.

00:28:58

Tailor them rather than just let them.

00:29:03

Grow like weeds if you.

00:29:05

Cultivate your thoughts. You can have your.

00:29:09

Life can just progress.

00:29:11

In an amazing way.

00:29:12

That that satisfies your soul rather than just like allowing you to exist. And I think coaching helps with that.

00:29:21

Because it gives you the tool.

00:29:23

To actually.

00:29:24

Understand how to control your thoughts and how to cultivate them and what to.

00:29:30

To how to exercise them, because there are things.

00:29:33

You need to do to make your brain.

00:29:38

Work optimally. Just do what it wants to do.

00:29:40

Yeah, 100%.

00:29:43

No, that's so true.

00:29:46

I'll share an example like I think it was back in May. I was hosting an event for my coaching business and we're going to be talking about goals and this is in person because I've really been. I've been wanting to do more of like in person events and bringing people together and creating.

00:30:03

An experience but.

00:30:05

So I was promoting this event for about a month.

00:30:08

And my goal was 20 people and I think I ended.

00:30:11

Up getting I think 6 signed up altogether and rather than looking at that.

00:30:18

Result of six people rather than 20 and thinking uh like, well, this was a horrible idea. Clearly I don't have a good niche or I didn't mark it properly. Or uh people aren't interested in this.

00:30:30

Instead of like.

00:30:32

Looking at like, oh, only six people, I was like, wow, OK, six people, I'm this is better than the last one that I did. This is incredible and being really, really grateful for the six people that came it. It made it such an incredible event because I was really locked in on them and excited to give them a really good experience.

00:30:52

Dance and and it was a really good, intimate experience and we just kind of we made it amazing and rather than leaving that and feeling like disappointed because I didn't hit the numbers that I wanted to hit, I felt excited and optimistic for the next one because like, OK, this one actually turned out really it was like better than I thought it was going to be.

00:31:13

With the six people.

00:31:15

And moving forward with maybe I want all of my bins to be intimate events like this, because the way that we were able.

00:31:20

To connect in that event was.

00:31:22

Much more uh.

00:31:25

Much, we got much more deep than I think we would have if it was like a bigger event, but.

00:31:29

It is like the way I perceive that versus I'm. I'm glad I have the coaching tools because I think old me would have been like, OK.

00:31:36

I quit like.

00:31:37

I'm done trying this. I'm considering this to fail. I'm shutting it all down, but because of coaching and learning how to be and cultivating my thoughts and being intentional with them.

00:31:49

It's a completely different experience and to be able to create a completely different results in my in my life.

00:31:55

I probably would be working with the clients I'm working with now. If I shut it down back in May.

00:31:59

Yeah, six clients to a work shopper, 6 people to a workshop. You could give them such an incredible experience that you couldn't do with 20 people. It's just not physically possible to be that that immersed in each individual like 10 is kind of the limit on.

00:32:15

Right.

00:32:19

Super intimate. Yeah, I think. But wow.

00:32:24

Yeah, it was funny because I was telling a friend of mine.

00:32:29

That this was the first time I was holding event and people were actually messaging me, telling me that they couldn't come and like nobody's ever done that before. They just simply didn't show up or they simply didn't buy a ticket. But I was like, that's actually really good time that people actually care enough about me or what I'm doing to let me know ahead of time that they weren't going to make it. Like I feel like that's.

00:32:51

She was like, oh, wow. Like, I definitely would not have looked at it that way. I would have been just hurt and felt rejected. And I'm like, no, that's it's incredible that they took the time to let me know. I, I love that they did that. And just me, me seeing it that way, I think is different than, I guess, other people would have viewed it. But I think that's a skill that I want to help other people learn so that they can.

00:33:10

I guess it's it helps you be resilient.

00:33:13

It helps you keep going after things rather than feeling defeated.

00:33:18

Yeah. And and that it's true. You know, telling yourself things that are actually true, that they did care enough to send you a message, which means that, you know, they're interested. They care about you. They want you to succeed and and possibly they're really interested in what your workshops about. And they wanted to go.

00:33:38

They just genuinely couldn't go.

00:33:41

And so you know.

00:33:43

Thank you very much the next one.

00:33:44

Will be absolutely.

00:33:48

Do it again.

00:33:52

So Loren, this has been an amazing conversation. I've really enjoyed it. Is there one thing that you would like to leave the audience with today?

00:34:00

This was a lot of fun. Thank you so much for having me on this podcast. Oh, this was such a pleasure talking with you, the one thing.

00:34:09

Let me think the one thing I want to leave the audience with, I think is to let go of the idea that.

00:34:17

Feeling confident means that you're void of feeling any type of fear or discomfort. I think feeling confident is actually.

00:34:28

Feeling confident enough to feel the discomfort. So it's not. You're not like I don't walk into a place and I'm just completely like.

00:34:36

I've got this. I feel 100% confident. No, it's. I walk in and I'm confident that I can handle any situation, but there is still sometimes anxiety, a little bit of fear, a little bit of self doubt there.

00:34:49

But I think.

00:34:51

I accept that that's there rather than try to resist it. So I think I'm learning that that is normal that.

00:35:01

Feeling confident doesn't mean that you have to feel 100%, you know, ready to go all the time might help normalize that. You can feel. I think both can exist at the same time. Is what I'm trying to say.

00:35:15

You could feel fear and feel confident at the same time, and that's totally fine, because I think people believing that.

00:35:22

If they feel any ounce of fear that they're not confident enough that they're not meant to do something.

00:35:25

But that's not.

00:35:26

The case, and I think learning that for me did help me.

00:35:32

Believe in myself. Like, OK, no, I can feel this and it does not mean that I'm not meant to do it. It's just normal. It's just part of the human experience.

00:35:40

I think when you're doing.

00:35:41

Anything for the first time, or you're just doing something that you don't do very often that there's a certain level of anxiety that just happens because you don't know what you don't know, no matter how much you practice beforehand.

00:35:51

100%.

00:35:56

And you just have to do it and some it's like learning to swim. You just.

00:36:02

Got to put in the reps.

00:36:05

And then you're suddenly you're a swimmer. Keep kicking.

00:36:10

You know, and it's funny because I was over COVID. I was trying to learn the ukulele and that's when I really started. That's when it really started to kick in. Cause I in my mind I was like, OK, I should be able to learn how to play this pretty quickly. And then when that didn't happen, I'm like, oh, I must not be meant to play the ukulele. I'm just.

00:36:26

Not good at this and I realized I thought about that about a lot of things. It's just like if I.

00:36:30

Don't know how to do it immediately then it's not meant to happen.

00:36:34

That's not the case. It takes time. Yeah, and I don't know why that was just drilled into me that I should know how to do it from the jump.

00:36:36

You just gotta keep trying.

00:36:45

Probably because you're a very intelligent.

00:36:46

Human being and a lot of things do come easily for you. And sometimes when things are a little bit challenging, they're not really easy. It's like I don't have to bother with this because I already know how to do all these other things. At least I feel that way.

00:37:04

When I do things it's like.

00:37:08

That's kind of the backhanded compliments much.

00:37:10

You compliment yourself.

00:37:11

I didn't mean.

00:37:14

That way, but.

00:37:15

I do have.

00:37:17

A lot of things that come really easily.

00:37:19

For me and it's.

00:37:21

I do have things that I have struggled to learn, like I learned to play the guitar not well.

00:37:28

I practiced a lot of years, but it's just not the thing that I'm going to ever be really great at, no matter how much time I practice.

00:37:38

There's just like I.

00:37:39

Think there are things that you can do that.

00:37:44

That you can.

00:37:44

Do because you love them. They're fun.

00:37:47

They make you happy, but they're not like the core thing that you're here to do.

00:37:52

Like, I feel like what I do now is the core thing. I was sent here to do and I think that you probably feel like that with your coaching practice too. It's like I'm in alignment with where I'm supposed to be. I'm just waiting for.

00:38:11

The results that are coming.

00:38:13

Absolutely yes, definitely agree. Because yeah, I thought it was going to be in personal finance for the rest of.

00:38:18

My life.

00:38:19

And then I thought I wasn't bad at it, but I'm I feel like everything happens for.

00:38:23

A reason you know I think this is.

00:38:25

Definitely the path I was meant to be on.

00:38:28

Yeah, so people can find you where?

00:38:33

You can find.

00:38:33

Me on lorenpaige dot com it's LORENPAIGE and or Instagram Loren Paige under score coaching.

00:38:45

Thanks. Start the challenge, join the challenge, if you

00:38:48

Can. Yeah, that would be really fun. Thank you so much, Loren, for joining me today. Jill.

00:38:53

Thank you. Thank you so much.

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