In this love-filled episode, Fari Gonzaque discusses the importance of self-care, overcoming imposter syndrome, and how coaching can guide individuals through life’s challenges. Fari offers both in-person and online coaching to help people transform and find love within themselves.
Discover more at FariTransformation.com
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Transcript
Hi and welcome to the You World Order Showcase podcast. Today we have with us Fari and she is from vFari transformation and her superpower is guiding people to find love within themselves through which all aspects of their lives can flourish. We are so happy.
To have you with us today.
Tell us a little bit about yourself. I know that you come from a foreign country and I'm not even going to try to mess.
Up that name.
Well, thank you so much for having me #1. It's always a pleasure to be a service of humanity for me. I am originally from Iran and.
I have lived between England and America for the last 45 years and the being a fitness trainer and a life coach in in the heart of Los Angeles and have worked with.
I just say celebrities, but I'm not sold on celebrities. I'm sold on heart and soul, you know? So they're no better than you and I. And first of all, they're dollar sign is the same as anybody else's. And but it's interesting how life takes us anywhere and everywhere. And we all learn from each other.
And it was very interesting to see that I was the one that they wanted to learn from only because of their lives that I've lived in the places that I've lived and having lived between 3 continents in my lifetime.
It makes it interesting for people.
You started to tell me about why they you think that they wanted to listen to you before we started recording. You want to talk?
About that one.
And yeah, the majority always wants to learn. Like first of all, where are you from? How did you do? What did you do? How did you grow up? And I said we were just like you, we had a roof over our head. We had bed and we slept. And that's what it was.
Like all together, when you're a young girl and you leave your country where you were born and you become that adventurous and that gutsy to actually step out of your comfort zone and go here and there, then you don't even know it that.
How much you're setting yourself up for a lot of?
Uncertainty. Discomfort.
Unpleasant sceneries as well as good times, but the bad times.
Are more, but we always think that, oh, why is it happening to me? But later says you just understand it's not happening to you. It's happening for you and all that happened for me. It was to get me the reason I understood that it's not happening to me and it's for me.
Because later in life I could share that with others and guide them through life. And they that's what got me to become their coach without me knowing that I'm a coach, you know, and to get all these people affluent, very wealthy people, that they come and ask.
Me the advice and I said.
Why and then I just realized ohh the life that I lived.
And the painful paths in different parts of my life that I had.
To go through.
Has become the pillar of strength for me to learn to say. Everybody look, there is a gift in everything that I went through in life and let me share you the gift.
Of who you need to become to appreciate those difficulties. Fast forward. Today we hear from Doctor Incredible. Doctor Gabor might say. I don't know if you've heard of his name. He's a brilliant soul and he always says.
That trauma is happening in life.
So we can see and we can find a gift in it. And I say there is a big diamond in all of those traumas that we just have to be able to dig into, not be able to. We should be willing to dig into and say, OK, I know I lost my home, my child.
Like this like that. I got beaten up. I got betrayed. I got whatever you can think of.
What is the?
Gift in that and I said is even bigger than.
The gift is.
A big diamond shining. So you expand out of your comfort zone and you also expand your comfort zone and you expand your horizon and you become much bigger than what you thought you'd be able to.
And 30 coming up to 32 soon years later in California, it has been.
My powerhouse, all these difficulties and learning from them and being able to guide people through it.
It has become my powerhouse and my gift.
And when you get a gift of.
From the universe, this is not a gift for me to keep and say I get to use it. It's a gift that I need to share.
And help others and say OK, now you go ahead and find your gift instead of sitting and feeling sorry for yourself. Where has anybody gotten feeling a victim, a mother? Oh, God, no. And then what?
And then what? Indeed, it is so much.
Better life when you look at yourself as the hero of your own story, to write whatever you want, I mean.
Our thoughts really do create our realities and sometimes just having a different perspective can shift how your life goes entirely so.
How do you actually work with people? I know you. You're like mind body and spirit. It's the three parts.
He's got.
If you even think about it, your body is made out of your spirit.
Your mind is made out of your spirit, and when we want to leave that aside and just go to our head when we only go from here, we're not going to.
Go far.
But once you put always set between your head.
And your heart is only 18 inches. People fly all the way to God across the world to go to Bali, to holy places to find that connection. And I said. But you don't have to do that.
Just travel from here 18 inches below and that's your heart. And go and resonate in your heart with whatever you want to say and you do. And that also I learned through a hard way myself being this angry soul. Because life made me become that.
Frustrated. Angry. Because I was this young girl leaving Iran 45 years ago not knowing what is going on, I just went and I thought I wanted to learn more in life. Right after I left there revolution, it started in Iran and they took their American hostages. And then wherever I went, of course they look at my dark skin.
And they had my accent, and then I'd be they just decided automatically that I'm this bad wolf, you know that I'm there from there. I'm one of those, you know, and.
I gathered so much anger and frustration and Fast forward living quite a few years after that I just realized.
I'm a workout freak. I love working out. I love my daily. Cocaine is working out, and when I was there, I realized why I love to work out so much, because when I work out, I start praying.
When I work out and I realize, oh, I'm meditating. When I work out, I don't sit and think about, oh, who said that and what I have to. I just get caught off from the world and that's what became my teacher also. So I can coach others that get out of your head.
But I start doing as simple as walking as simple as swimming, whatever is available for you in that moment, wherever you.
Live and you can always go for a walk, you know, and all you need is space as yoga as you, as big as your yoga mat. That's all you want. So you don't.
Need to have lots of space.
And you can make so much more work out of that little space for yourself if you have it. Like if you pay attention. Nelson Mandela, for that many years in his cell, he kept with his fitness in the cell and he was doing everything through punching and kicking and push-ups.
And at the same time, he was meditating.
And he got to become the President of the country that put him in that place at some point in life. And when you are.
Treating your body respectfully with the workout that you do.
You have no idea how much it then takes that frustration gradually off of you from here, and it better you like it or not, it makes you travel to your heart and then you just realize. Ohh.
There is the body. There is the mind and the connection of it. It's the soul that it gets and the spirit that it gets into this space. And you just think.
Where is this place? I don't know it. And then you become familiar with it and you start resonating in it with it and you want to live there and.
When you're there.
Then you do so much better in respecting yourself, loving yourself, caring for yourself. That's why I talk about self-care, self love, self respect.
It all starts from self forgiveness.
Once you come in that space that I say, I think of a Lotus flower. When you bring your body, which I say is your brain and your mind and your heart and soul together.
Then you're living in this Lotus flower.
And then you realize, oh, it's like I can hug myself in this flower and said I no longer need to be that angry soul. Ah, what did it take me to get to where I am? Let me share that with people that they need my help. Let me help the angry person, the frustrated person, the person who's so resented with everything in life.
Get you out of that misery and bring you to connect you to your heart.
And then you start having a relationship with yourself. That's when you come to that space, you realize you first have.
To forgive yourself.
And when you figure if you give yourself, then your doorway opens. It's like you're sitting in a plane. Yeah, it's landed. But until they open that door, you know where.
When they opened the door and the gate opens, then you enter this world. Where am I going now?
That's how it looks like that when you enter there, you say, oh, where am I stepping into? And it pulls you away from that closed shut down plane. And as the door opens, you go out there, then you become you. Now you've forgiven yourself. Now you understand what's the self-care?
And I always say self-care.
It's not your hair color. It's not your hair extension. It's not all those eyelashes that people walk and they can't even see this so long or all these artificial stuff to poop on their ***** and on their ****. That's a self torment that's not self-care. self-care is deeper than that self-care.
Is the time you spend with you, whether it's in the shower, whether it's in the reading a book, and journaling working out, meditating things that.
Teaches you how respectful first you are to yourself.
And when you taste this delicious like you have a great food, you eat it and then say, oh, it's yummy. Let me give it to my children and my partner and say, look, taste it. It's delicious. That's what it is. When you have that self-care and you start feeling good about it.
Then you step into the zone of self respect, self compassion.
Self-discipline and it takes you to a different world and that's where it comes at is mind, body, soul and it makes me to be the transformational relationship coach. You transform into this being that has never been before.
We've been doing, doing, going, going, but we've never been being as being BEINJ. And when you are in that space of being is the same as the planes door open and you walked somewhere where you've never been before and said, yeah, let me now experience that.
I love that.
It's really profound and that and it it's it is kind of like the plane that you're talking about it. The transformation happens kind of like the door opening and you suddenly get to experience a whole new environment when you leave the plane.
You could have never experienced without getting into your heart and letting your heart heal in a lot of cases and being able to just.
Experience life instead of trying to.
Force it to be the way you perceive that it should be, though it probably isn't.
Work. It's not a quick fix. It's not one time recipe and say, OK, I did it, I'm perfect for the rest of my life. No, it's the cause. Listen, you don't eat once a day. You don't once a week, you don't shower once a week. I hope you don't. You know, you don't brush your teeth once a week.
Is the consistency you eat now. In four hours, you're hungry. You sleep tonight. 9 hours. Beautiful sleep tomorrow night. You're tired. You want to sleep again. It's the consistency. It's the work. And that's why the coaches come in. Picture the minute you want to get off, fall off the wagon. You.
Have your coach you create the next step.
And again, is not one recipe is fixing for all. It's a matter of creation in that moment with that person that is different from the person before, and is definitely much more different from the person after. So what we get is what?
Is suiting in that moment for that person, and the next day that might not be suitable for that person.
Is where we are.
Be here now. In that present moment.
So that we can be creative for.
Move on in life next.
That's perfect. And you?
Have a.
PDF that you give away, it's called how to mobilize your heart chakra to defeat imposter syndrome. You want to talk.
About that a little bit.
Yeah, with the.
Name of it is really from destruction to construction.
You know and.
We become off the certain part of life, you know, when growing up.
We get program.
Between 4:00.
And seven and eight is when we get programmed to whatever is being fed to us.
Once we get to become an adult and whatever age.
We are if we.
Don't deal with what we got, program.
Then we have no confidence we become a perfectionist. We become a controlling, we become.
Someone that only wants to deal with blame and shame and guilt and imposter syndrome. I'm not good enough. Ohh I'm. I don't matter. Nobody loves me. Oh, they don't like me. I'm not being seen. All of that is what it was in our programming growing up between 4:00 and 7:00 and 8:00.
And that needs help. And that needs guidance that needs clearance. It's just like.
You are now out of that plane walking outside and you have no clue where to go. Now you need guidance. Somebody has to pick you up. Somebody has to take you somewhere. A taxi or someone is taking you to the next level.
And when it comes to that level, then we understand that how much until we get to that level, how?
Much these destructive.
Thoughts that we got programmed in our childhood, how much it's dragging us into a wrong paths in life?
How do we stop that?
And we change that that we go from that destruction that we've been doing it to ourselves because of what was said and prepared for us in the past, what we've done and how we stopped that. And we take it into.
Construction. How do we become our own best friend?
By getting the help, that's how do you get help for the imposing room and in imposter syndrome.
1000% again, Doctor Daniel, Amen. And were met. Say that I follow them.
Extensively is that they always say imposter syndrome is not a quick fix.
It's not one time and said it's not a two that you said I'll pull it out and I'm good with it.
Even when you pull the tooth out now, you have put the root canal. You know you have to put the crown on. Now you have to pamper it. You cannot. So it's like that. And that's why when I use this simple analogy, people understand, imposes is here today with you and you're on top of the mountain. And tomorrow it takes you down and then again you're on the high and then again.
That is, that acknowledgement of that feeling that when it comes to you and what you do with it.
That's the PDF four that indicates on recognition of number one that once you know.
You've got imposter syndrome.
Don't think it's going to be fixed once and.
I'm good to go for the rest.
Of my life, not such a thing. You cut your hair today in seven or eight weeks. You have to go and have another haircut.
And then again and then again and then again.
You know, and it's the same as that story. That's what it is.
That's all of life. It's always a journey. We're never have arrived.
I think death is the arrival.
That's my own personal opinion.
I always wonder who has anybody arrived?
And where is the arrival? Who says that's the final point?
Right, right, it's.
An exciting journey and there's always a new twist and turn ahead and it's just having the having a guide, coaches or guides.
100.
That have, you know, been on that part of the journey before so they can help you make the best of it and.
It's just.
Going through it.
Learning, learning from it.
And the best.
Way and the fastest way to get there.
To go through it, don't try to do it.
Short cut.
Don't go here and there because it's going to bring you back there.
The best way.
To get there, walk through the fire.
You're going to come out refined on.
The other side for sure.
Always, we always need help though. We always need someone to hold our hands. And that's why again, the coaches come in the picture and the coaches are on putting the fan on that. It's getting hot here. OK, so that's what the coaches come in.
To hold your.
Hand to lift you up. Don't let you fall.
Do you do your coaching online? Are you in person?
Yes, both. But ever since we moved here, it's not easy for everyone to come here especially easy, very special gated community. Not everyone comes and I have clients in Australia and I'm in California. I have clients in London.
So zoom link is just as good as it's your office, so they're comfortable. They can be in their underwears, they can be in their shoes or not shoes and.
It's just a.
Matter of.
Being with them in that moment.
Their time and their pain, and actually my whole body becomes is.
To hero.
A lot of times people just want to.
Be heard too.
Because I don't just listen from these ears.
I go to the ears.
Of this heart of mine.
This hears it better and stores it forever.
This is here's it from here and it goes from there.
When I say I go in wholeheartedly.
With my clients, because I start listening from my heart.
Now, from just those years.
Do you work?
Just one-on-one with people, do you?
Have groups. How does that look?
You want one.
I am establishing groups because I realize how much need there is for lots of people actually beginning to establish a group coaching either.
In December or.
Yeah, it's going to be end of November, December or January, but that's in the.
Mr. Talk and which one is best to do and I want to do the group coaching and later on, as you know, it's just like when it rains, it pours. Once I do my group coachings then later on late in 24 I will be offering membership.
That's perfect. So how do people get in touch with you and how can they find out more about?
Working with you.
Everyone welcomes to 1st.
Of all e-mail me at Fari FA RI first letters of my name Fari at faritransformation.com or the best that you can see everything. Of course I'm on Facebook via transformation but also my website that it's.
One word no space W www.varytransformation.com.
All one word. No space. I'm sorry. Transformation. And it's easier the.
Website They can connect, they can go in, they can see all that. There is all that I do have done, the reviews, their testimonials, and it's a wonderful place for them to start and so many buttons. You press this and that and that they always get connected with me.
Safaritransformation.com, of course, from the beginning. Www.firetransformation.com. You're welcome to put that on your website on your.
We'll put it in the show notes for sure. So what's the one thing you want to leave the audience with today?
Thank you.
Ohh, nice question life.
Is all about the choices we make.
So choose wisely.
Before you go down.
Choose wisely.
Everything we went through in life.
Was for your growth.
Everything, regardless of what we've gone through in life.
It's for our growth.
Don't take it as a life sentence.
Look at it as a platform for you to rise and go above it all.
And then again, that's what becoming so life is all about the choices we make.
I love that I.
Love that so much and there's always something new that can happen. Nothing. You're never just in one spot forever. There's always going to be change.
Exactly. Exactly.
Thank you so much for joining me today. Fari. I've really enjoyed this conversation.
Thank you for having me.