Raising Neurodivergent Children

Andrea Anderson and her perspective on raising neurdivergent children

Parenting is a deeply personal journey, but raising neurodivergent children brings a unique set of challenges and opportunities for growth. In a recent episode of the You World Order Showcase Podcast, Jill Hart sat down with Andrea Anderson, a coach who helps parents of neurodivergent children connect more deeply with their kids, create peace in their families, and empower their children to thrive.

Andrea’s journey began with her two sons, now 20 and 23. Early on, she noticed behaviors that stood out: anxiety, outbursts, and sensory sensitivities. “One of my sons would crawl under the table when there were too many people around,” Andrea shared. Like many parents, she struggled to understand and manage these behaviors, often feeling like a “bad mom” as societal pressures mounted. She sought help from therapists, counselors, doctors, and endless parenting books, but the most significant breakthroughs came from introspection and gradual shifts in how she approached parenting.

Embracing Acceptance and Individuality

A key realization Andrea shared was the importance of acceptance—of both her children and herself. Many parents feel pressured by societal norms, constantly judged for how their children behave or how they parent. Andrea learned to move past these external expectations and focus on understanding her children's unique needs.

“Sometimes, it's okay to step away from the idea that your child has to fit into a societal mold,” Andrea explained. “It’s about helping them navigate the shades of gray in life—not forcing them into a box.”

This shift in mindset helped Andrea connect more deeply with her kids. Instead of reacting to their behaviors with frustration, she began responding with curiosity, asking herself what was really driving their actions. By understanding their perspective, she could address the root causes rather than the symptoms.

The Power of Self-Regulation in Parenting

One of the most powerful tools Andrea teaches parents is self-regulation. She emphasizes that a parent’s emotional state significantly impacts how their children show up. “If I learned to notice myself—my energy, my reactions—it made a huge difference in how my kids responded,” she said.

Andrea shared simple strategies for calming the nervous system during stressful moments:

Gentle touch: Lightly tickling the inside of your arms or pressing your hands against a solid surface can help ground your body and calm your mind.
Intentional breathing: Taking slow, deep breaths can quickly shift your emotional state.
Singing or humming: These activities can soothe your nervous system and even lighten the mood during chaotic moments.

By practicing these techniques, Andrea found she could handle challenging situations with more clarity and patience, creating a ripple effect that positively influenced her entire family.

Food and Nervous System Health

Andrea also highlighted the connection between diet and behavior, particularly for children with neurodiverse brains. She shared how introducing calming foods into her family's meals made a noticeable difference in their emotional regulation. “When we nourish our bodies with the right foods, we naturally feel calmer and less reactive,” Andrea explained.

Her approach to dietary changes is gradual and realistic: introducing one or two new foods at a time and crowding out less beneficial options. This method not only supports physical health but also creates a foundation for emotional balance.

Andrea's tips for raising neurodivergent kids

Boundaries and Consequences

Another cornerstone of Andrea’s philosophy is setting boundaries with love and intention. While she acknowledges that every child is different, she believes in creating a framework of known consequences for specific behaviors. This approach fosters accountability while maintaining trust and connection.

Andrea shared a personal story about not delivering her son’s school project when he forgot it, even though it was difficult for her. “It hurt my heart, but I knew that rescuing him every time wasn’t helping him grow,” she said. This tough-love moment taught her son the importance of responsibility, a lesson that stayed with him into adulthood.

Building a Lifelong Connection

Andrea’s ultimate goal is to help parents build lasting, meaningful relationships with their children. She encourages parents to focus on connection rather than control, shifting from a mindset of fixing their children to one of understanding and supporting them.

“When we parent from a place of calm and connection, our kids feel seen, heard, and valued,” Andrea said. This approach not only strengthens the parent-child bond but also empowers children to thrive as their authentic selves.

Takeaway for Parents

Raising neurodivergent children is not about perfection—it’s about progress, understanding, and growth. Andrea’s message is clear: Start small. Incorporate simple tools like breathing exercises, nervous system regulation, and gradual dietary changes. Focus on your own well-being, as your energy directly influences your children’s.

As Andrea so beautifully put it,

“We can’t change anyone else, but we can change how we show up—and that changes everything.”

Get Started with Andrea’s Free Gift

If you’re looking for practical ways to bring calm into your home, Andrea offers a free gift on her website: 4 Simple Recipes for a Calmer Mind and Body. These recipes focus on introducing calming foods into your diet to support emotional regulation for you and your family. Visit AndreaChapmanAnderson.com/4simplerecipes to download your copy and start making positive changes today.