Melissa Rohlfs – Breaking Free from Unhealthy Habits

Transcript

Hi and welcome to You World Order Showcase podcast. Today we have with us, Melissa Rohlfs. Melissa is a transformational coach and she's going to be talking to us about finding freedom from our struggles with food.

A lot of that.

I don't know about you.

But for me stems around sugar.

So thank you for joining us, Melissa.

How did?

You get started on this journey.

Tell us your story.

Yeah. Thank you for.

Having me, Jill, I'm really excited.

To be here with you.

So really, my journey with sugar began in childhood.

I was an 8 year old little girl and was hiding doughnuts and cookies and candies and all sorts of treats in my room.

My parents had no idea.

And we had some little visitors come and leave their droppings on my bed and told on me.

So thank you, mice, for telling on me in childhood, but that is just such a pivotal moment because I realized that's when things started was in childhood and that carried through, you know, school and into adulthood and marriage and.

Having children and so really, when our son was a newborn not sleeping through the night, we had a 2 year old daughter with some undiagnosed food allergies and sensory processing disorder.

My husband was traveling for work and on top of that I was diagnosed with PTSD from childhood trauma.

So all of that was the perfect storm led me to meet with a naturopath, a therapist, a coach and really start to see healing from all of that.

And part of that was my addiction to sugar because I used.

It to cope.

And to stop and to soothe then.

To feel better because I didn't have the tools that I needed Jill to handle stressful events in life.

So sugar was my crutch.

So that's a little bit of my journey after I found freedom, I wanted to help other women who were where I was, so went to school.

And here I am doing the same thing.

That is an amazing journey and.

Just let me tell you.

I hate my.

We had a cat that.

Used to bring mice into my house.

Like hello.

I don't need this and leave.

In my bathtub.

Our idea of food storage, I guess.

Fortunately, my youngest daughter was still living with us at the time.

We'd fish them out and send them back outside.

She didn't mind my she hated spiders.

Spiders are like, no big deal to me.

Mice, on the other hand.

You took the spiders and she took the mice.

Yeah, it was great symbiotic relationship there so.

So what are the?

What are the things about food that we should know about and what are the telltale signs that maybe we have food addictions that we need to like address?

How could how?

Would we know that?

Yeah, I think you know.

It's a great question for.

Everybody, just to stop and ask themselves what is my relationship like with.

Food because it's not something we consider, I think so many of us have the mindset that we use food to either lose weight or to gain weight, but we don't really ask what is our relationship with food.

How do we view it?

Do we view it as a source of nourishment, as a source of energy, as a way to fuel our bodies and get us through our day?

Or do we just?

Eat mindlessly when we're bored or stressed or frustrated, or have things going on.

We don't know how to handle so.

I think really.

Just getting curious about the relationship with food is a good starting point because a lot of times.

I think we eat when we're not hungry because we are having some emotion or feeling that we don't want to feel.

And so we maybe eat to avoid feeling that or we try to make ourselves feel better by eating.

So I think really just pausing and asking what is my relationship like with food can be really powerful.

Too, and you know the whole comfort food thing comes to mind.

And comfort food is almost never good.

For you boot.

Right.

So and a lot of times I think people.

Just want to eat when they're really thirsty.

And that's a.

Huge sign of dehydration.

Like sugar, cravings can mimic dehydration.

So absolutely if you feel hungry, maybe drink some water and see you know after 5 minutes.

If that doesn't curb the craving you might have just been dehydrated.

And it's really easy to get dehydrated in this day and age because a.

Water is sometimes questionable.

And you have to almost.

Have to bring it from home if you're like out and about and you never know.

I live with my Mason jar.

You know, water is water is a big deal and the there's coffee and coffee dehydrates you and soda pop.

If you're still drinking soda pop, which I don't know why people drink soda pop, and this will just drink beer, at least you'll pass out.

Before you're like.

Really going to drink all 32 ounces of the OR 64 ounces or whatever that those.

Tubs of poison all.

Right.

I love it.

Tubs of poison.

And it full of sugar, right?

Totally, totally full of sugar.

Even if it's labeled diet, it still has the artificial sweeteners.

It still has poison.

It's not good for you.

And I think you know again we've been.

Misled and which?

It must be good for me.

No, it's.

Not notice diet.

Actually worse for you.

Spells die D i.e., I mean really.

It's worse for you.

It has chemicals in it that cause you to actually want to eat more and crave sugar because it's it really dehydrating and people think, you know, it's liquid.

It must be nourishing me, but it's not.

It's making the problem worse.

Well, and the same kind of goes for those scoopy coffee drinks I was talking with a friend this morning and she was like, I didn't realize everything that was in there.

We think because it's a drink, maybe that it's better or we get like a free pass with things, but it still has the chemicals and ingredients that are affecting you going into your body.

I used to love Frappuccinos, but.

I noticed after the last time I had one been years ago now I was just shaking so bad, it's like and then you can't sleep at night because the amount of caffeine that's in there is just.

Like through the roof.

But it was just like this.

Is not worth it.

To feel this bad.

For a few moments of like.

Pleasure on your tongue?

I don't know.

It's like.

And I.

Think that's the other?

Thing is, a lot of us.

Are tired.

Because we aren't really taking care of ourselves.

We're not getting enough sleep.

We're not getting adequate hydration.

We're not getting enough nourishment.

So we're fatigued.

And so we reach for those.

Pick me ups to make ourselves feel better, and they work temporarily in that moment.

But then we come crashing down.

And like you said, it's just not worth it.

I do with the root cause.

Do I need less stress?

Do I need more sleep?

What do I?

Need so that I'm not like needing energy all day.

Right.

And sleeping strategies and it's really easy in different parts of our lives we, you know as women we have young kids and so we're not sleeping and then we get into these patterns of not sleeping and then you hit menopause and then.

All hope of sleep goes out the.

Window again, but there are.

Strategies to deal with it, and I'm sure that in your coaching practice you help people.

Address some of these issues.

So what does?

It look like for people to actually work with you.

How do you help them?

Yeah, I have a.

12 week program called Finding Freedom from the food struggle and it's really about helping women learn how to connect with their bodies and what their bodies need.

We live in such a one-size-fits-all world that that's not really how it works. Like we negate our bio individuality and our uniqueness.

When we do that and then we try these things that are marketed to the.

Masses and they don't work.

For us and then we.

Get mad and we feel like.

A failure so it's breaking.

All of that and really helping women how to listen to their unique body types and what their bodies need and what.

Works for them.

So we.

Talk about.

What foods give you energy versus take away?

Which foods make you feel amazing?

Which foods maybe make you feel lethargic?

How do we honor your body's hunger and fullness? How does your body know when it's hungry? How does your body?

And when it's full.

How do we know when we're sabotaging ourselves?

So it's this beautiful process of really helping women connect with their bodies and learn what works for them and find that freedom because it's different for everybody.

And body image in this age where it's like you.

You're supposed to be.

Really thin and OK.

I'm fat, so I'm just gonna own fat.

There's a happy medium in there somewhere where you know your body is comfortable.

You can eat nutritious foods.

You can move in.

A way that feels good to you.

You sleep well at night.

And your body.

'S just going to be what it is.

And it's OK.

I think it's called peace, I mean.

I think that's what so many of us are.

Striving for is this.

Contentedness, or this peace to look a certain way because we've been marketed.

The idea that when I look a certain way, everything will be great.

Well, no, everything's not going to be great. Like, if you look that certain way that doesn't change your kids behavior. That doesn't change your communication issues. That doesn't change your finances.

Like that's a load of.

So deal with like what?

Is the real problem and find peace and contentment in yourself.

And it and sometimes it's just owning, you know, you're this old and you had lots of kids and your body is not going to look like it did.

When you were 35.

One cent.

And.

The more you worry about it.

The worse the problem is going to be.

And you've made it worse in your mind.

I mean, I think it's that, you know, mindset of ohh, I need to look a certain way, but that's just not realistic.

That's not.

That's not where we're at in life.

Yeah, but it doesn't mean you can't.

Be fit.

Right, you know, fits a totally different picture.

It's eating nutritious foods.

Getting appropriate exercise and it you know, it can be anything from dance to walking to you know.

Fooling around with your husband.

That's exercise too.

And it's enjoying life and being able to enjoy life without having to be.

Struggling with what you're gonna eat?

That mental chatter, you know, I think we're so.

Good at that. Just.

Because of the diet culture, it's like, oh, I should have this.

I shouldn't have this.

This is good for me.

This is bad.

I've already had.

This like how?

Much mental space, does that take up in our brains?

And then we can't really be present in the moment.

And enjoy the life we have.

Exactly, exactly.

And the whole diet mentality, it's just like there's.

So many different conflicting.

Things that are out there, it's just like should I be keto?

Should I be low carb?

Should I be no fat?

Should I be all fat?

Should I just eat meat?

Should I just eat vegetables?

Should I?

Just eat potatoes and.

It's exhausting. It's exhausting.

It really is and you know, trying to stay up on the latest science or so they say.

It's just like.

Can't we just look at food from the lens of some stuff?

Is food and some stuff isn't.

Let's figure out what's food and how to cook it ourselves.

So we know what's going into it.

And then let's.

Have you know family dinners where we're all sitting down together and relaxing as?

We eat.

That's so much for our family and just so much for our own digestion to just sit.

100% because when you're eating in a stressed out state, your body's not assimilating the nutrients, so your body can't heal or lose weight or really perform well when it's stress.

And standing over the kitchen sink is.

Not eating a meal.

No, nor is driving in your car eating.

It's gobbling through.

You know your oats or whatever you're trying to drive and eat, no.

Wait till you can get someplace and actually.

Enjoy the.

It works better in your body.

100%.

And blessing your food.

But whether you're religious or not, but taking the time to just appreciate the food before you eat it allows your body to prepare.

To receive food and to digest it, it's.

It's a habit that you can get into.

You know you bless water and there's scientific proof that you bless water and it changes you speak.

Well over things.

People work the same way and their body chemistry changes.

And your story creates your.

Biology. So what you're telling?

Yourself is affecting how you show up and how you reflect yourself in the world.

I mean, there's a lot of power in our words in what we.

Say and yeah.

And what has been said over us that we have owned labels.

Are hugely important.

I shudder when people say things about their kids within earshot of their kids.

That is less than complimentary.

It's like, ohh, don't do that to them.

Please, please.

Shaming culture of shaming.

Judging too, I mean, I think there's quite a bit of judgment around that and I think it's interesting because we do the same thing with the food, right, like we judge ourselves for the food that we're gonna eat.

Ohh this is good.

This is.

Healthy. This is on my.

Plan or oh, this isn't.

And then we start to shame ourselves.

So those same emotions and feelings that we do to people, we do the same thing with our food.

In our bodies, I mean, it's just.

This ripple effect.

I know you have several.

Free things that you're offering to people.

One is.

Finding freedom for our struggle with.

Food isn't that one of them?

That's my program, yeah.

You want what?

Why don't you let me know about the other two things that you give away to people, to help them understand what?

What they're dealing with as.

Far as sugar.

Go ahead.

Yeah, I have.

I had to.

Kick sugar cravings to.

The curb.

So if you are a sweet tooth.

Person like I was.

That's definitely something that people will want to grab.

Because it talks.

About how to keep the sugar cravings.

There's some really.

Delicious recipes in there that will surprise you because they do not have sugar in them, but they're delicious and they're amazing and nourishing.

And so.

So good.

So that's one resource.

And then my other one is my ultimate guide on how.

To feel good about food.

So again, if you find yourself turning to food when you're bored or you're stressed, or you're looking for that, pick me up.

This would be a great resource because it's going to show you other things you can.

Do in place of that.

That's very cool.

And also.

Sometimes we eat.

Things in habits.

What are your thoughts on that?

100% So when I was a little girl, my mom would go to my grandparents house and she would go right for the cookie drawer.

And she would.

Eat 3 cookies.

And so that trained me, OK when I.

Go to my grandparents house.

I would eat cookies.

Didn't ask if I was hungry, didn't matter.

Like if we had just had lunch, none of that mattered.

It was.

Just here I am.

In my habit, and so absolutely we have habits.

A lot of people.

Have a habit of.

Having a bowl of ice cream when?

They're watching you.

Know TV at night.

On the couch or a bag of chips or.

That is so, yes, habits, mood, huge connection.

And a lot of habits problem with habits is we don't think about them.

It's just something we do on reflex and talk about, you know, you shouldn't smoke cigarettes or other habits that people get into that.

By virtue of the fact that it's a habit means that you're not thinking about it.

And we should never be.

Taking things into our bodies without.

Consciously being aware of what we're doing because everything we put in our body has a ramification.

And I think that that my whole theory is control.

What you can control like you cannot control if there's air pollution, but you can control if you have an air filter in your home, you can control the other things you're putting in your body.

So I think being mindful about what is in.

Your control is kind of empowering.

Actually, it makes you feel like.

Oh, I'm not a victim to the fact that there's air pollution or whatever.

The case maybe.

Yeah, and being the hero in your own story is very.

You know you can solve your own problems.

You don't need to wait for somebody to come by.

And save you which.

Is the victim mentality out there?

Yes, 100%.

So what's the one thing you'd like to?

Leave the audience with today that you hope they.

Take away from this conversation.

I just want people to know that they can be free and that they don't have to be the victim because I think for so long, Joe, I felt like I could never get my food or my sugar under control.

Like I was.

Always going to be this way and that.

Is just not true like you have.

The ability to change.

And grow and shift and pivot.

Fit and, you know, change and it's totally possible if it's possible for me and the woman that I work with, it's possible for other people as well.

So change is possible and.

Hope is here.

And how do people get in touch with you?

My website is free, the number 2, the letter B coaching.com, so free to be coaching.com. That's where my freebies are. You can find my social channels there and that's my main hub.

Perfect.

Do you have a Facebook group?

I do.

It is finding freedom from the food struggle, I think, or finding freedom from the struggle with food.

One of those.

OK. Well, we'll put the.

Links in the.

Show notes. Thank you.

Thank you, Melissa.

I have so enjoyed chatting.

With you today about getting free.

From our struggles with.

Thank you, Jill.

It's been a.

Great conversation, I've enjoyed it.