Urvi Shah – Breaking Limits for Mindful Motherhood

In this beautiful episode, Jill speaks with Urvi Shah, a certified life coach. Specializing in coaching new moms, she discusses the spiritual aspect of motherhood and encourages mindfulness. There is a powerful message on gaining awareness and separating oneself from thoughts and emotions for transformative change.

Visit InnerSerenityLifeCoaching.com

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Transcript

00:00:01

Hi and welcome to the You World Order Showcase podcast. Today we are talking with Urvi Shah. Urvi is a spiritual healer and mindfulness coach for new moms. Welcome to the show Urvi. It's so nice to have you here.

00:00:13

Thank you so much. Thank you for having me here on your show.

00:00:17

So how did you get?

00:00:18

Started on this path. You're not all that old.

00:00:22

I would like to believe I'm not.

00:00:23

That old but.

00:00:25

I'm a few years away from 40, so I guess, yeah, yeah. Feel a little bit old, but it's OK.

00:00:28

No way. You look like a baby.

00:00:34

I actually started off.

00:00:36

With becoming a life coach, so this was about 3 1/2 years ago when I got certified as a life coach and I started off actually not even knowing what I wanted to do in my business because I always wanted to go down the route of spirituality and mindfulness.

00:00:53

Because it was.

00:00:54

A big part of my life and my transformation.

00:00:57

And the reason why I became a coach in the 1st place, but I didn't really know how to introduce that and I think quite frankly to be very transparent, I was embarrassed as well. So I did a switch from.

00:01:09

The corporate life into becoming a coach and so I worked in, I worked in marketing for a really long time and then I worked in market research and data analytics, moved on to doing a lot of like leadership and team coaching and consulting. And so for me to make that switch into coaching.

00:01:31

I was still very much like what is my reputation in terms of like who I was in corporate versus you know who I'm going to be as a coach and I didn't. I felt like if I introduced too much of like my spirit.

00:01:44

Outside, I would be out there and I didn't know if I felt comfortable with that. So for me, the transformation from 3 1/2 years ago of where it got started and now was really discovering my own gifts and who I am and just.

00:02:01

Being comfortable with showing up with that and actually introducing that to the world, which was a very big.

00:02:10

A very big task, I would say that I had to take.

00:02:15

Wow, that's kind of different going from the corporate world where you're vanilla in a box and you just do whatever you're told to do. You show up and you get your paycheck, hopefully to being a life coach and out there on your own and trying to be.

00:02:34

Authentic to yourself, but still.

00:02:39

It's probably got to be hard to go from like this persona that you have to show up with in a corporate job to this is who I really am. World. Are you ready for me?

00:02:51

Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I think that's what the challenge was like initially when I became a coach because I was doing coaching in terms of like team coaching and leadership coaching within the corporate realm. I was like, OK, I can just switch over. And even if I'm doing one-on-one coaching, it's kind of going to be kind of the same, but like.

00:03:10

There was a part of me that was like really itching to introduce different concepts in terms of like, you know, energy and energy work and like mindfulness work, like how meditation can really help you in terms of like, anxiety and like, I didn't know how to. I think I knew how to do it. I just didn't feel comfortable because I felt like people were going to judge.

00:03:30

Me from like.

00:03:31

Ohh, you used to be this person that used to do all of these great things like incorporate and now you're like this.

00:03:37

Quote UN quote ooh.

00:03:38

Person that like how did that change happen? And so for me it was like I think I was placing a lot more judgment on myself and creating this narrative that maybe did not exist and I was afraid and it was about unleashing all of that and like really.

00:03:53

Going against those fears and saying, OK, this is who I am. This is the work that I do. This is the purpose I have on this planet and this is what I want to do and this is how I'm going to show up.

00:04:03

I love that. It's so freeing on one hand, but it is really scary on the other I've.

00:04:12

I've been through this sort of.

00:04:14

A similar journey and it just like.

00:04:17

When you just finally embrace who you are and.

00:04:20

Let the chips fall wherever they're going to fall.

00:04:22

It just makes life so much easier.

00:04:25

Yeah, absolutely. And I and.

00:04:27

I think I want to mention like.

00:04:31

A lot of the things that I was afraid of was just, you know, stories I was creating in my head. It wasn't necessarily like those things were happening. They were happening here. There. They weren't, like, happening, happening. Right and.

00:04:42

So it just seemed like things obviously, you know, I say this a lot. Thoughts are your reality. So like I was continuously thinking things and I was seeing a little bit of this and.

00:04:51

That was like ohh.

00:04:52

See, that's gonna like, that's happening. So I can't, like, I can't show myself up like here. And, like, you know, I'm not gonna get clients. And like, clients don't want me to.

00:05:00

Be this way and so.

00:05:03

It then this is something that I teach now to my clients. It's really about like you have to embrace who your true self is and free yourself of like those fears because your fears are going to keep you limited to whatever thought patterns you previously had or whatever you know.

00:05:22

Programming you previously had, which was being in this like fear mindset and really like freeing yourself from that is going to get you closer to your purpose on this planet. And that's what we're all here for. We're all here to do something and collaborate with each other and help each other out.

00:05:39

I agree with that so.

00:05:41

Much. That's why I do what I.

00:05:42

Do so you work with new moms, is that?

00:05:47

Moms that are trying to become new moms and moms who are newly moms.

00:05:53

Yeah. Yeah. So it's a.

00:05:54

It's a whole.

00:05:55

The whole journey, right? So the whole motherhood journey. So, like moms that are going through their fertility journeys, they might be going through infertility moms that have recently went through infertility and then became pregnant. And then, you know, have become moms.

00:06:13

Afterwards and so, and the reason why I work with this group is because I'm one of them. That's one reason. But the other reason is also because in my journey of.

00:06:23

Fertility. I realize how much is lacking in the industry in terms of mindfulness and spirituality and energetics work for mothers, because a lot of information is given to women about how you can become a mother. Like a lot of medical information but not much is given in terms of like the spiritual world.

00:06:44

Or in terms of energetics or in terms of mindfulness?

00:06:47

And these tools are very helpful, especially when you're going through these things because you're highly emotional, you're highly.

00:06:54

Rest you're going through a lot of, you know, quick decisions here and there and to have that clear mindset and be grounded in who you are is very important. I feel like as women, we don't learn this very much and then we're put into the situation and we're not able to handle it, but it's.

00:07:15

It's not so much that we're not able to handle it. It's just we don't have the tools and we were never taught. And so that's the purpose.

00:07:20

Of me being in this space.

00:07:23

I love that it's so easy to.

00:07:26

I feel like.

00:07:26

You're all alone in those kinds of situations because you know.

00:07:32

You might have girlfriends that are getting pregnant and.

00:07:36

And it may look like they're not having any trouble at all.

00:07:40

Because, you know, suddenly they're pregnant and you'd have to know quite a few people in order to have, like, a good cross selection to actually figure out any data about it.

00:07:53

Normally in in in any age group for women, you've got maybe one or two people you know is either trying to get pregnant or is pregnant. And if you're trying to get pregnant and you're not having success at it.

00:08:06

It feels like, you know, I don't know who to talk to because, you know my friends, either they don't have trouble getting pregnant or they don't want kids or whatever their reasoning is. And oftentimes.

00:08:20

You just go to the doctor and the doctors always give you, like you said, their medical advice, which doesn't really help you in terms of dealing with the emotions that you go through and the.

00:08:32

And just the things that you can do.

00:08:36

To your body or with your body to actually make conception more likely to happen. We have so much power over our bodies.

00:08:46

Yep, and. And the other part of it is that there are a lot of support groups, but there's a lot of.

00:08:54

I mean, I was part of a support group when I was going through IVF and I felt a lot more anxious than I did come because a lot of women are talking about, hey, like, you know, going for my 4th transfer, like it didn't work out or like, you're just hearing, you know, the bad news.

00:09:14

And you, you don't hear too much of the good news and a lot of it and a lot of what I teach is really being in that mindset of.

00:09:22

What makes you happy? Like it doesn't have to do anything with pregnancy or conception, but what makes you happy? And how can you be in?

00:09:29

That vibration on a constant basis so that you are bringing those things into your life and that's what works for me. I mean, so I'm like, I'm like a case study in its own. I feel like through my IVF.

00:09:44

Learning I. I stepped away from the support groups and like the medical information and all of that, and I really just focused on my energy and.

00:09:53

I had we had one embryo which the doctor was like. There's a 1% chance that this becomes a baby with or, you know, the transfer is successful and it's a successful transfer. And here I am. I'm seven months pregnant with that embryo. And I feel like a lot of what?

00:10:13

Led me to that was not had nothing to do with the science, but everything to do with my energy and my vibration.

00:10:21

I yeah, I would agree with that. I have my daughter, my son and his wife ended up having two children. She had three viable eggs.

00:10:34

Only three, and she probably did. I don't know, five or six rounds of ivia it was.

00:10:41

It was.

00:10:46

Difficult for them. She actually had. She had the eggs harvested and they ended up and they fertilized them. She had to have surrogates to carry her, her children. My daughter carried one of them. And then her friend carried the other one. But they ended up with.

00:11:07

They planted 2 the first time around and only one took and then the next time they only had one left and they implanted it and it took and.

00:11:20

2 grandbabies out of.

00:11:22

Ohh congratulations.

00:11:24

Well, congratulations to you cause it. It's really.

00:11:28

I remember.

00:11:29

How emotional she was about the whole process and how much you just when you're going into that process, it's easy.

00:11:39

To think you.

00:11:40

Know I'm broken. There's something wrong with me. Why can't I have babies like everybody else? Seems to be having babies and.

00:11:48

And you know, it's kind of a relatively new phenomenon that we can actually help people in this situation.

00:11:56

30 years ago, if you couldn't have kids, you.

00:11:59

Just couldn't have kids.

00:12:01

Yeah. And I think we tie it to our worth. And I did that for a long time. And then what happens is when you tie it to your worth, it ties into every aspect of your life where your worth is tied, right. And so for me, this was a big part of. I was also, I was going through this journey, but I was also growing as a coach.

00:12:21

And like because I was going through both parts, there were a lot of parallels of, like me, working on my worth and understanding that whatever is happening, it's like I have to accept it and honor it for what it is and it's not.

00:12:34

I'm not, like, unworthy of becoming a mother or not unworthy.

00:12:37

Of being a coach or.

00:12:39

It has nothing to do.

00:12:40

With the fact that like.

00:12:43

I'm going through.

00:12:44

This and other women are not, and they're more successful than I am. It's more so of like I'm thinking about it that way. And so that's why that's why I'm feeling these things. And so it's.

00:12:54

I feel like the whole process of motherhood in itself is a very spiritual journey, because you start to discover a lot of things about yourself, and that makes you transform in different ways and transcend in different ways.

00:13:13

It definitely does. Having children changes you in for the rest of your life. It's just the act of getting pregnant. However you end up pregnant is it changes you. You go from being just this one person to.

00:13:34

Bringing in another life, being part of something else, a different spirit coming down and.

00:13:43

It's always interesting to see how that.

00:13:46

Plays out over time. I don't know if you believe in soul contracts, but I definitely do also. And it's like, I wonder what their contracts going.

00:13:53

Yeah, absolutely good.

00:13:59

To be I wonder what the decision was we made together back there, and sometimes it's they're painful decisions that were made.

00:14:08

Just like.

00:14:12

Yeah, we're going to walk through that one. Not sure why, but.

00:14:19

And I think that's a good reminder in terms of whatever has happened.

00:14:26

Sorry about that.

00:14:27

OK.

00:14:31

I think a lot of times we become very much in this control mode of like this is happening and this has to happen. I got to do this and I got to do this and we don't really surrender. And for me, my whole journey in terms of.

00:14:48

Motherhood, fertility, but also coaching has been about surrender. Like, how can I surrender more and just let things unfold the way they're going to unfold? And how can I just trust myself and believe in myself, believe in the universe, to come to wherever I am right now. And I think that really helped me to push through a lot of the fears that.

00:15:08

It's hard.

00:15:11

In just knowing that things are going to unfold the way that they need to unfold, that's best for me. And that's like my focus. I don't need to focus on like what other people are doing or how I'm compared to other people, which is what we're taught.

00:15:26

In our society, it's like start to compare yourself with other things and what are other people doing.

00:15:30

What's your competition and?

00:15:31

You know, I think that really muddles the water when you're a coach for the first time because you're so focused on what other people are doing and offering the same things and doing the same things, but then you're not getting your authentic ways out there.

00:15:45

Yeah. And.

00:15:46

That's really an important point. I've interviewed so many coaches.

00:15:51

At this point, and I can tell you categorically that every coach that I interview is doing something unique, they may be doing, they may be in the same kind of niche that somebody else is in, but.

00:16:08

They approach it totally different and there are people that are out there waiting for you with your voice and your message. You know, I've talked to other women who are.

00:16:22

Coaches for new moms but their moms, they didn't have the IVF journey. They don't have your life experience. They come at it from a different modality, I mean.

00:16:35

It's just like.

00:16:37

Then there's so many ways of helping people.

00:16:41

The There's a coach and there's a coach for every person out there and.

00:16:48

And you don't have to help the whole.

00:16:50

World but you.

00:16:51

Do have to help the people. You were sent here to help and I.

00:16:54

Think that's so beautiful?

00:16:54

And I think.

00:16:56

I think that's absolutely important to remember is that your voice?

00:17:02

Your voice is going to resonate with your people and your people is on everyone, and that's OK like you have to be OK with the fact that you're not for everyone, but you are for someone and that someone is going to be transformed from you. And I think I had the hardest time with that when I first became a coach because.

00:17:21

I was in that mindset and I think.

00:17:23

This this has.

00:17:24

To do a lot with, you know, switching from corporate into being an entrepreneur, you're in that mindset of like, no, but I have to get as many people as I can. And you know, I was.

00:17:32

Changing my voice just to please other.

00:17:35

People or other clienteles and I was getting lost in that mix of like, what exactly do I do and what exactly is my message?

00:17:43

And what am I trying to get here and so?

00:17:46

That also shakes your confidence because you have no idea like you have no clarity into what you're doing. Right? And so when I started to get more clear about what it is I wanna do what my messaging is, who I wanna help and why I wanna help them, what my purpose is. That's when things are to ship for me in my business.

00:18:04

Makes a huge.

00:18:05

Difference that clarity.

00:18:08

It's like because then you know who you're talking to. Whereas if you don't have clarity, you just kind of like I want to help everybody and then you end up helping no one. So do you work with people online? I know you have a membership.

00:18:23

Group you want to talk about.

00:18:24

A little bit.

00:18:25

Yeah. So primarily online. So when I became a coach, it was actually when I got certified is 2020 during COVID. So everything was online. There was nothing in person at that time. So primarily my business has just been online through either zoom calls or webinars or workshops that have been online.

00:18:46

I have started to do in person things so I am in the New Jersey New York area, so I'm starting to like host workshops like in person workshops and things like that now. But primarily I would say 90% of my business is online and I do have a membership program. So it's a tiered membership program, it's.

00:19:04

Based on mindfulness and spirituality, so each tier is curated to give a little bit of.

00:19:14

Mindfulness help and support along with spirituality. So there's, you know, the first tier, which is really.

00:19:21

Just about giving.

00:19:24

Affirmations and a meditation that could help you on a monthly basis. And then there's a higher tier that gets you more into like getting a one-on-one reading from me every month and then.

00:19:33

And the highest here that I have is actually placing people into a container group container where I actually give coaching services. And so it's a monthly membership program that has all different tiers in there that provides different types of spiritual healing and also mindfulness in terms of meditation, breath work and.

00:19:55

Awesome. Yeah. So you can kind of go wherever you need to go in order to get the help you need. And you know, not everybody needs the same level of help. Some people are more hands on and some people are more like, I just want to hide in the corner and figure it out on my own and.

00:20:13

It's nice to.

00:20:14

Be able.

00:20:14

To leave some space for.

00:20:18

Anonymous. I'm not going.

00:20:20

To. I can't say that word right now.

00:20:23

Yeah, and I think.

00:20:24

That that was the purpose of building the membership program and the tier way is that it provides different levels of support that you may need. And so like some like you said, some people don't need that much support. Some people just want to go to a portal and have them add a new meditation every month that they can practice.

00:20:43

Or some things like journal problems that they can like practice.

00:20:47

Just so that they have accountability and some people actually need you to be there to provide services because that actually helps them with their support. And so I wanted to create something that was one portal, one place where people can go and get that support where it wasn't so much of me, like trying to be like, oh, well, you're doing this now. And do you want to do this?

00:21:07

And like this is more like.

00:21:09

You get to choose what you want.

00:21:10

To do instead of me telling you.

00:21:11

Like maybe now we did this. So do you want to try this or do you want to try this?

00:21:17

Yeah, it just gives people.

00:21:21

More options and control absolutely, and you do.

00:21:26

Do you have a workshop that you?

00:21:29

Share with people.

00:21:31

Yeah. So I have a free master class or workshop that I did on self love. It's a 90 minute workshop. It goes through what self love is, the spiritual side of it. And then I go through a visualization meditation to actually tap into the love that's within you and the light that's within you to kind of encompass all of that together.

00:21:52

So that's absolutely free.

00:21:54

And I provide that.

00:21:55

I have a link to it and you just sign up for it and you'll get the video sent to your inbox.

00:22:01

Perfect. And we'll put that link in the show notes below.

00:22:04

So people can access that.

00:22:09

So is there one thing you want to?

00:22:11

Leave the audience with today.

00:22:14

Yeah, I think the one thing that I'll just leave the audience with is.

00:22:19

I kind of share this on my social media today and I and I kind of feel strongly about this. It's really about, you know, there's a lot of, like, there's a lot of information out there. And I think the one thing that I really want.

00:22:31

People to know is.

00:22:33

In order for you to overcome whatever it is you're overcoming, it's really about bringing the awareness to your thoughts and where your thoughts are and what you're thinking on a constant basis and if you're.

00:22:44

Able to do that.

00:22:47

Consistently, you're going to get to a place where you're transforming from where you were and you're going to get to a place where you're breaking through those difficulties that you may be.

00:23:00

I could not agree with you more.

00:23:03

Just taking control of what you're thinking about. It is so huge in terms of transforming your life. There's so many things that we think about and we don't even.

00:23:14

We don't even really recognize that we're having these thoughts and that these thoughts are really not serving us.

00:23:22

But they just.

00:23:23

They go on a loop, it's like.

00:23:26

Almost like you're doing it subconsciously, but it's.

00:23:30

It's a conscious.

00:23:30

Thought, I mean, you know what you're thinking?

00:23:33

But you just don't think about it and paying attention to that really does help.

00:23:41

Change your whole emotional state changes your life. Really.

00:23:45

Yeah, it changes.

00:23:46

Your whole vibe, actually, because you're now.

00:23:49

I think it's more so of like we think that our thoughts and emotions are in control of us, but we're not. Our thoughts and emotions. We're separate from that and we don't have that.

00:24:00

Realization as humans, because we were never taught this. And so for me it's very important like.

00:24:08

When I'm teaching or when I'm working with my clients that this is the first thing that they understand is like, you're not your thoughts. You're not your emotions, you're separate from it. And so if you can create that space and that awareness.

00:24:19

You start to realize like, Oh well, if I have this thought, I can actually have this other thought that makes me feel better. And so why don't I just have this other thought? It's that thought it's kind of like I used to have a coach.

00:24:33

That told me this and I love it, you know, had and Alexa, when you're, like, next song. It's like that, like next thought, next thought. But when you have the awareness, you can actually do that and you can actually reprogram those thoughts.

00:24:44

Yeah, and replace them with other thoughts. You know, if you have.

00:24:50

I like to write them.

00:24:51

On my mirrors and refrigerator magnets and I like I they're all over my house because when I was trying to reform my thoughts, it was just like I need to have a visual cue.

00:25:08

Of something else to replace it.

00:25:09

With and it's just like.

00:25:12

Lifting the needle up and moving it.

00:25:13

Over the old record players.

00:25:17

Yep, absolutely. I do the same thing.

00:25:20

So thank you so much for joining me today. Arvind, this has been a great conversation.

00:25:25

Uh, thank you so much for having me on your show. This was this was my pleasure. And I'm.

00:25:29

So grateful for being here.

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