In this relatable (for many) episode, new host Kasey speaks with Shilpi Gupta, an Intuitive Healer/Coach, Spiritual Teacher and Mindfulness Facilitator. Shilpi helps moms connect with their inner child and heal the wounds so that they don’t pass on the trauma to the next generation, and so that they can be fully present for their children before and after birth.
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Transcript
Hi and welcome to the You World Order Showcase podcast. Today we are joined by Shilpi Gupta and Shilpi helps moms connect with their inner child and heal the wounds so that they don't pass on the trauma to the next generation. And so that they can be fully present for their children.
And connect with them through their heart and that connection continues even after the child is born.
Please help me welcome.
Shilpi to the show and she will be hosted by Kasey Lian today, so I hope you enjoy it.
I can already see me, you know, seguing into this whole thing beautifully. So thank you once again and hello everybody that is listening to us and watching us. And all I can say is today's day, the date 8/8.
Which is.
Absolutely fantastic energetically.
So while I am talking to you, sharing my story, I also want you to know that I'm also sharing my field with you.
So whenever you listen to me, just know that these beautiful frequencies that are pouring down on us.
On this day.
Are going to be with you.
I'm sharing my field with you so that you receive whatever it is that you need to receive.
So without further.
Ado let me just expand a little bit on who I am and what I do.
Just like Kasey said, my name is Shilpi and I'm from India right now I'm living in the US.
I moved here about 15 years back and.
But most part of my life I was a.
Teacher so for.
Over 20 years I worked with children and parents helping them connect.
With their heart.
And create these beautiful bonds between them so that they could.
Even at home, just continue that beautiful connection and they did not have to, you know, butt heads.
Or argue they could sort out things without having to, you know, bring in, you know, acrimony or, you know, just the way life happens sometimes.
Most of the time it's there's so much pressure all around us that we are all affected, not just the adults or the parents.
Even the children.
So as a teacher, as a counselor, what?
I mean, you know.
When I helped them create those connections, I saw that it was so much easier for them to just put that disturbance.
out and just connect with their hearts and that itself solves so many problems.
So when I, you know, it was amazing working with them, but when I had my own children.
I was very confident.
Of course.
You know, you know it.
It's a piece of cake I've.
Been doing this.
Work, but when my own kids came along.
First of all, I wasn't prepared.
You know, I didn't know what to expect through the pregnancy and after pregnancy, it's all hunky Dory.
It's a rosy stories.
It's going to be beautiful and you're expecting it to be beautiful.
And so when my kids came along first I had a very hard pregnancy.
I was always afraid that I was somehow harming my unborn kid.
I whether I was eating well, I was sleeping in the correct position.
I what if I was sleeping, not rightly and my.
You know unborn child was affected or if the child was going to be born, you know with some defects just because of me I didn't walk properly.
I didn't sit.
I mean it.
It's it sounds funny.
Now when I talk about it, but I know it's not just me if you know, most mothers go through those fears and so.
I was panicky.
I had severe anxiety.
So when my child, you know, came along.
I felt that I had somehow let her down or something, and so thereafter my bonding with my child was, you know, colored with that guilt with that stress.
And I you.
Know all of.
Those dreams that I had that you know my, you know, with my child, I'm going to be this, that or the other.
Everything went out the window, I was sleep deprived.
I, you know I didn't have the support system.
And so, you know, we moved along.
I mean, as we all do, we just go through the motions.
And the other thing that happened with the consecutive, you know, with my second born and 3rd born.
I realized that certain like files and folders open up when your children come about, like you didn't know existed.
And this is all very energetic and I didn't know any of that.
Only when I went through this whole journey of birthing or expecting.
And taking care of children, I suddenly realized what you know, what used to happen to those parents that I helped, or how the children that I was helping with.
Being affected even though very successfully, I could help them, but I didn't know the, you know, intellectually I knew because I have a psychology background and I did my counseling, so I knew intellectually, I knew.
But the energetics of it I wasn't aware of.
So when my own children came along and I saw those files and folders opening up, it was like.
They press your buttons.
And I saw myself become my own mom or my own dad.
I'm saying the same things that as you know, I was growing up.
And I said I'm never going to say that.
To my child.
I will never do that to them, and I suddenly became them and I was like, you know, it was almost like a light bulb moment.
When I said no.
I need to do something about it.
And that's when.
My journey started in discovering who I was.
How did this happen?
In spite of all?
The knowledge that.
I had.
I was equipped with knowledge.
I was equipped with experience, and yet as a mom, I felt like a failure.
And then when I went on this healing journey.
Luckily for me, I have a background where I grew up in an ashram, you know, from the age of 12 to 21.
I grew up in an ashram.
I did my education.
I did my, you know, I was.
It was also a fine art school.
So I grew up learning Indian classical dance.
So being in the body, being grounded, being mindful with chanting, all those you know mantras and sutras
It was very easy for me when I decided I needed to find out what's happening.
It was very easy for me to come back to myself.
And then once I centered myself, I started seeing what was happening, how the energetics.
Of each of us you know, affects.
For example, we not a fresh slate when we are born, we carry with us the baggage of the past, probably ancestors we carry with us.
Our parental, you know, issues, whatever the traumas or feelings or stress anxiety.
Whatever the thought.
Patterns or behaviors they have, it just passes down to us through.
Genetics, DNA and we think ohh you know.
We you know, why are we acting or being the way we are?
But that's because the programming has been there.
It's all you cannot see.
But now the studies do show that, you know, This is why we are the way we are.
And then also when we are little and we are growing up between the ages of zero to seven from the time we are conceived till the time for till about seven years old.
We are like.
You know sponges, we are soaking in.
Everything that's happening in the back
Ground, and even if it is not intended to us, we take it very personally because children think they are the center of the universe and everything is happening because of them.
This is what you know.
Helped me figure out what you know what was happening and my trainings.
I trained in six different ancient healing arts.
I also did some mind mindfulness training.
I did mindset coaching so all of that helped me put together those missing pieces that.
I was looking for.
And equipped with that, then I decided, who do I want to serve?
And because I'm so in tune with children and I'm really passionate about, you know, working with children, I said, if I can do something for.
Kids, I would like to help expecting moms because once expecting moms are taken care of the child is taken care of automatically.
It's almost like doing preventative, you know, healing.
So you don't have to further, you know later on, you know, deal with the diseases or discomfort or whatever comes along.
So now I devote my time, my life, to just helping, expecting moms get back into the center.
Or they can, you know, connect with their unborn child so that.
Their pregnancy, the journey, the birthing journey.
And the delivery is easier on them.
And not only that, when they are connected with their own center, they are automatically connected with their unborn child.
So even when the child is born comes into this world.
The connection still remains.
There are no gaps that suddenly the child comes and often you hear Mom say that, you know, I was thinking I will look into the eyes of my baby and there'll be this instant connection and you know, it'll be one of those blissful moments.
But it didn't happen and they feel let down.
Not just let down, but they also feel that they let their babies down somehow.
Something went wrong.
And just to avoid all of that, when the expecting mom is in the know of it, she is prepared.
She is so much better to in handling the situation, no matter what happens because.
Life is life.
There are no guarantees.
But if the expecting Mom is prepared, she is so grounded and centered in her own being that.
Whatever changes come her way, she will be able to deal with it without being pulled in different directions.
As happens once the baby is born, right?
Right.
So that's what I do.
That's my story in in a nutshell.
It's incredibly fascinating to me because.
When you connect to that level, and obviously being a mother myself of I've been, you know, I was blessed to birth two of my children and I.
Have a stepdaughter.
It's almost.
You can't explain it.
The process that you go through of having that child in your body and having that physical connection because they're physically attached to you.
But I can relate to.
All of those.
Thoughts that you mentioned because that entire pregnancy, especially with your first because it's all unknown at that point and it is so true that am I doing this right?
Am I doing that wrong and?
You know, is it going to be this way?
And you, you tend to overthink it and then you tend to self doubt yourself.
Am I going to be a good mother?
Am I going to do things right and you're?
So right that when.
You birth that child.
Yes, of course.
There's a love.
But there's also, like, a little bit of a fear.
Because now they're here and you have this responsibility and you have.
I don't want to mess it.
Up I'm going to make sure.
That they're healthy and it's a very emotional.
journey as well.
And like you said, you go through the motions and you do the best you can and you know each and every single day.
So this is fascinating to me that where you can create that connection.
On a positive level, even before your child is brought into the world.
Yeah, yes.
And in my culture, we believe that when a child is born, so is the mother.
But we never talk about it.
I mean, especially in the Western world.
It's unheard of.
This whole thing of mother being born with the child, but the fact if you look at postpartum depression, see when somebody dies, there is a period of grieving, we give them that period because we know it is important to finish that chapter.
But when a mother gives birth.
A part of her has to die that even if she's had previous babies.
I mean, yeah, with every child, she is reborn.
So a part of her that was before is dead, but we don't get to mourn that part.
That is dead.
We just keep moving.
Right.
And that is what creates.
This whole thing of being depressed because we don't know, we haven't mourned, but yet we're supposed to celebrate.
You cannot mourn and celebrate.
Right.
You're just supposed to move forward.
Right.
That is the paradox that happens.
And the more I thought about it, the more it became evident.
We are trying to treat the symptoms, but nobody's talking about.
The root cause.
You can suppress something for some time, but it is going to come up when you stop suppressing it.
When you stop the medication.
And also what I realize is that moms, as you all mean, as we all know, we have such a connection and such an effect.
On our children, it's mind blowing.
You don't have to say anything to your children, but you can affect them and this.
We also know by.
The butterfly.
Effect the flight of a butterfly can affect you know, a tornado or whatever they call on the other side of the planet.
If the butterfly can do that, Can you imagine the child that's been in a mother's womb for, you know, whatever month and they also say that.
You are in your grandmother's womb when she's pregnant with your mother.
So it's like a generational pain.
So you are never disconnected, you have, you know, been in their rhythm, in their feelings, in their thoughts.
For so many generations, I mean like 3 generations.
So everything is connected and that's why when I chose to work with expected and expecting moms, I wanted to make sure that they know that they have such a great power that if they can, you know, connect with their themselves, if they can still themselves.
Enough everything around them can still
If they have anxiety and they can, you know, they can probably do some mindfulness, do meditation.
They will see that the children, their children, if they are anxious or they're having a hard time at school or whatever.
It will subside because the mom is calm.
Mom is present.
Yeah, so it's like.
And mothers have this rippling effect on the society.
And that's why I called my program Awakened Motherhood.
And here I would like to quote, you know, saying from Rumi.
No, it's not Rumi, it's Khalil Gibran.
He says the house is always dark until a mother wakes up.
So metaphorically and literally, when moms wake up and they're, you know, getting the kids up and ready and packing lunches, that's when the light comes on.
And, you know, there's light in the house.
If you think about it metaphorically, whenever mothers awaken not just outside, not just waking up, but when they awaken within consciousness awakens.
Trust me, they will create conscious kids.
That will be so equipped to handle anything that's coming that way.
Beautiful, you know, and as.
A mother. It's so my.
Speaking to you and hearing you speak, my brain is going and my children's faces are in my head right now and.
It it's profound to me because when you really think about it, yes, when we are born as mothers.
I was not a mother before I was Kasey before I had my child and my second child.
I was Kasey with one child and now Kasey with two children.
So you’re reborn as a new person, so that that makes so much sense to me.
And the fact that.
Our actions and our how we feel and our moods.
It really does dictate.
To our children because I I'm thinking you know, the more you think about it, you sit back when I'm in a great mood.
It just seems that everyone's in a great mood.
And you don't really realize that it's like your power, like as a woman, you don't really realize, you're just going through the motions, right?
And you're just going through your day and you're handling your responsibilities and you're handling your role however many things you know, you need to get done in a day.
But it's so true.
It. Oh my goodness.
Shilpi this is like when you think about it, it is just so true.
And if I feel like if I'm not balanced and I'm not happy on the inside, that's going to translate into.
The moods of my the.
Moods of my children, that's.
Very, very powerful.
Yeah, it is it.
It is so powerful and it's about time that we as mothers awaken to our own power and how we affect not just the children, not just a household.
But Can you imagine this conscious mother who walks up into the into the school.
Her vibration can calm the other mothers.
Yeah, or other children.
And it's and I'm.
I'm also working with teachers because they are also mothers and they are working with children.
And my goal is just to help you know them get to their centers, center, so that they can be placeholders for whoever they're working with.
I think it's a really miraculous thing.
It's motherhood as womanhood.
Of really how powerful being?
We could be to.
The you know the ones that surround us.
It goes to show you that.
As much as like the positive parts.
Of it, right, if I'm calm and I'm not.
You know, anxious that it would make sense that the negative would also carry over.
So if I'm anxious all the time or I'm depressed or I'm stressed and I'm in.
A bad mood?
Just as much as the good things.
If I'm happy and I'm light and I.
Feel at I'm at.
Peace and all of those things are.
Going to carry?
And it's, I feel like it's really important.
Like you've opened my eyes that both sides of the coin.
Can be passed forward and it's really good to recognize the power in that.
And also I feel, Kasey, we keep hearing you know that are these parent I mean so much is being done towards parenting raising the consciousness and we hear you know your voice becomes your child's voice and we need to do this and we need to.
There's a laundry list of what we should and we shouldn't do.
However, if you think about it, there's an inner child in all of us.
If that child has not been addressed.
Trust me, I, as a mother, could not mother my children until I had mothered my own inner child until I had slowed down to hear what was this child telling me.
I had to heal my own inner child wounds.
I had to let go of the ancestral baggage that I was carrying that comes through the, you know, genealogy where?
However, my parents were treated or what their traumas were.
I'm carrying that baggage, so if I'm carrying that baggage and there are so many whales of these, you know, curtains around me, how can I possibly hear myself?
Or how can I possibly hear my children?
I'll always be looking at them through those.
Lenses or through those glasses?
Right.
And not just that.
See, as a mother, you're always doing things for your children, whether it's cooking, whether it's the laundry.
Can you imagine?
We even when we are folding clothes, we are passing our energy into every.
Thing while you're cooking, if your thoughts are conflicted, guess what?
The conflict is being passed into the meal.
We don't see it.
We can't in so we can't tell.
Or when we.
Eat when the family is eating, what happens?
You will not correlate the conflict that's going on with.
Between kids or our relationship with our spouse, but it's there.
The energetics have passed into the different areas.
Whatever we have touched.
Right.
And secondly, if you think about it, the origin of everything is energy.
So moms have a lot of stress, they have physical, like the exhaustion bed or their illnesses.
You know, health challenges.
If the origin of everything is energy and we can.
Actually go to the root and clear out what's causing that physical pain, physical illness, sleeplessness.
Can you imagine how easy the life for that mother?
Could become and teach them tools.
You know, whenever they feel out of sorts, how do you get back, provide a consistent support because a lot of times you know, when I do mindfulness teaching.
It's easy to teach them and send them home, but when I open up space, So what happens is I, you know, I've been trained to hold a large space for people when they come into my energy field
They experience a kind of calming down.
It's almost like, you know, the energy when it is in dissonance.
Like, you know, it's chaotic.
There's a lot of stress and anxiety, but when the energy is coherent, everything is smooth and sorted out.
When you come into that energy, that's why certain retreat.
Centers certain you know vacation spots feel so nice because the energy is different.
So when people come into my energy field, they, for whatever their energy has been, when they come from dissonance, they come into coherence.
Or resonance and they feel calm, so they take away when they go away from me, they take away that and you know, use that so.
I highly, highly encourage you know having.
Constant support, because we're not island, I mean.
Today's society has taught us that we have to be self-sufficient.
We have to be fast-paced if we are asking help. There's something wrong with us. We should be able to do everything by ourselves.
But we were.
Not made like that, human beings are all about connections
Especially the little baby for.
Example when my children came along, this whole thing of.
Putting them in a different room like I, I mean I'm from India.
We didn't sleep in a different room.
We did have cribs and so my mom would put us in the crib, but the crib was in the bedroom, my parents bedroom and there were times when if I was crying when my brother was crying, we were.
In the bed with my parents.
So when I came here.
And the norm is like, you know, you're told, OK, you can put you feed the baby, then you let them self soothe
And it just never resonated with me, so I would get up the first cry of my baby.
I would get up, pick her up and, you know, soothe her once she's soothed, she's ready to go back to sleep.
Of course it like, you know.
It took a toll on me because I didn't know how to regulate myself and, you know, charge myself.
But if I knew what I know today, it would be very different.
I didn't, you know, put them separately. My kids, against my husband's wishes or whatever. People said. My kids always were with me, with their bass, and it's right next to my bed. So that I know they're right there.
And so it it's, you know, there is a difference in the quality that I see with my children.
They are very, very connected to me, even though initially I felt disconnected and all of that when I started clearing, you know, all of the guilt and shame and the stress that I felt.
It was interesting to see that my kids didn't they couldn't remember what happened.
It was almost like everything had melted off and we were like, you know, in connection in communion, it's it, it was.
It is a very interesting.
Phenomena or aspect, as you would say, because when we can heal ourselves, our healing doesn't stay with us.
If we feel that ohh we have somehow.
Traumatized our children.
And we are guilty when we start healing ourselves.
The healing ripples across it heals the child.
Mends the connection and it also goes back to our parents and past generations, so that whatever has been passed on to us, it stops.
It doesn't carry forward.
So what I have experienced, my children won't have to carry forward.
Right.
I love this this way of thinking and I think in today's society. Coming
In with a holistic.
And a more natural approach because right in society and culture now it's so easy to, oh, you have anxiety.
Here's a pill for that.
Well, you have depression.
Here's a pill for that.
Oh, you have postpartum depression after your pregnancy.
Here's a pill for that.
And we just numb those feelings instead of dealing with them and letting them go without requiring.
Those medicines, and thankfully I'm very blessed.
I didn't have to go through that.
Not that I didn't have any struggles becoming a new mom, you know.
But my children were next to me, you know.
And I grew up.
Here and.
Their bassinets were next to my bed for many, many months, and my son.
Was just never comfortable in any sort of position, so for.
A couple of months he was on my chest because that's the only way that he felt comfortable.
And I said if he's comfortable and I'm connected to him like, and I would think about those things and I knew I was uncomfortable and my.
Balance was being thrown off.
It was to me as a mother.
I was like, OK, this is what I.
Have to do because he's.
He's content and the connection I have because of what I went through with my son at that time.
That was the only way that he was comfortable.
That was the only way that he felt soothed.
That was the only way that he was most content, and I would safely put pillows up and down the sides of.
Me and I would lay like this so that he wouldn't roll off me.
And if he did, there was pillow like pillow walls and I would just lay like this and he would just sleep.
On my chest and.
Like you said, if.
I knew now you know, if you know what you.
Know now you would have.
You’d do it different
Wow, what a difference.
The thing.
Oh, what a difference it could have made and what a difference it could have made.
In certain struggles in my life in their life.
You think about those things, so that's why I think what you're doing is so important.
By getting it in the beginning
And in your.
Confidence, right?
If a mother is confident in the knowing she knows if the child is crying, why the child is crying?
It's not because she's done something wrong, because there's she.
The child is communicating.
So instead of putting the focus on, I did something wrong.
The focus would be in understanding what the.
Child wants.
Right.
Most of the time we are like, you know, the child is crying.
We are helter skelter.
How do I stop the crying?
What do I?
Do rather than just taking a pause and.
Saying, OK, what could be?
The issue I've done every.
Right.
What do they need?
Let's work through this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let me vote.
Clean this up in me.
You know, as a mother, when you just slow down, things start to fall in place.
It it's magical and it is so simple.
That sometimes I laugh when I think people will think I'm crazy if I'm not talking and it's so simple.
I said even.
If people laugh and think I'm crazy, I have to take the risk of putting my word out right so that it resonates with whoever.
Maybe it's a handful of, you know, mothers it'll resonate with, but the awareness has to be brought forth, and initially everything seems funny.
Everything seems woo woo or you know it's crazy, but the more people realize and the more it resonates.
We will have happy mothers.
That have happier children and our whole society will be happy.
And that's what we're trying to, you know, we're trying to happiness and harmony.
I love the ripple.
But catch them young.
Catch them, young.
And then.
Let it fan out, let it ripple.
Let the benefits.
Move forward through the generations like you said it stops.
Wow, this has been such a fascinating conversation.
And as a mother.
It resonates with me, you know, on a.
Personal level so.
I know that our listeners are going to absolutely love.
To listen to.
This episode because what a heartwarming and beautiful thing.
So how can people get in touch?
With you.
Why you can I have a Facebook page and my e-mail and I think I provided that and if I didn't I will just put it in the chat for you so you can share it with people.
My page is called Sublime Healings and my name is Shilpi Gupta.
Either you go to Shilpi, Gupta or sublime healings.
And I have a private Facebook group as sublime healings with Shilpi
So either way you can get in touch with me and DM me.
My e-mail is very simple Ms. which is ms.shilpi@gmail dot com just connect with me and I would.
Love, love, love.
To hold space for anybody and one thing I've realized that we've been taught to, you know, suppress our emotions as mothers
You know, if we cry too much.
She's too emotional.
Right.
If we don't show our emotions or she's too cold.
That is like never, we are never enough.
We are taught that we are never enough, no matter what we do, and we go through life, you know, not being sure of our place.
Or we, you know, nobody realizes that when a mother is not sure of her place.
That is exactly what she's passing on to her children.
They grow up to not be sure of who they are, what their place is.
And I'm not saying all mothers are like that, or all mothers have the same intensity of, you know, difficulties.
But we are all different and at different points.
Our degree of difficulty is different and if we can just say I'm going to help myself because I'm going through this.
And I don't feel OK.
So I'm going to reach.
Out and I will do whatever I can for myself because if I help myself, I'm helping my child.
Is that?
That'll stop the mom guilt right there. That'll stop the mom. Shame that. Oh, my God. Something is wrong with me when my mother's saying even if something is wrong with me, I want to make sure that I correct this so that I can help my child. Or I can take care of my child the best way I can.
And the analogy that is dropping down as those you know, oxygen masks that, you know, drop down in the air until you have them on you.
Right.
You cannot help anybody else.
So moms.
Expectant moms, this is my invitation to all of you to just know that you are so powerful.
That, you know, our power is so much that somewhere down the line, the society kind of, you know, dimmed our power because we have to be managed, right.
But in the process of being managed, we are not really creating children that are, you know.
Ready to unleash the potential we are we are, we are raising children by capping their abilities.
They're capping, I mean, capping their potential.
If you can just.
Help yourself.
You will see that.
You will be.
Able to hold space for children that'll thrive in your presence.
Just your presence. Beautiful
Well, Shilpi
I have to thank you from the bottom of my heart for coming on today's episode because it was a beautiful testament to the work that you're doing in a positive and holistic way.
And I'm so grateful that I was able to speak to you today.
And I hope that a lot of people get in contact with you because in this short amount of time that I've been speaking to you, I already feel.
more positive.
So I thank you so much for coming on today's episode.
If anybody wants to get in contact with you, you gave your contact information and I thank you.
Oh Kasey
thank you so much for having me.
It was such a pleasure just sharing my story and just letting people know that there is help.
We don't have to walk the path alone.
Yes, absolutely.
OK.
You never have to, yeah.
And thank you Shilpi
Thanks. Kasey. You have a great day
You too.
And thank you everybody for listening.