Virginia Rasmijn – A Story of Healing, Singing, and Coaching

Hi and welcome to the You

World Order Showcase Podcast today we are speaking with Virginia and I'm just going to let her say her last name.

Rasmijn.

Thank you.

The Mustang Matters coaching and confidence activator talent igniter by day, Singer.

Songwriter by night.

I love how those two go together and I'm really looking forward to hearing your story, Virginia.

Thanks so much for joining us today.

I'd love to be here.

Thank you so much for your invitation, Jill.

Really means a lot.

Very nice.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

So tell us your story.

How did you

Get started in all of this.

I how did you become a singer-songwriter to begin with and then how did that morph into coaching?

So I have been loving music since I was a child and my mom told me a story that I was six months old and my dad is actually a musician as well.

And I think, well, my, my mom played some trumpet as well.

In back in the day.

Excuse me.

But she said she put me behind the drum with a drumstick and I was six months old and I did the tapping on the beat of a of the music.

And she said, yeah, from that day on.

I knew music was in you

I got the music in.

Sounds so cliche but.

So I was always drawn to.

And when I was six, I got a guitar, acoustic guitar and I didn't really learn how to play it.

My mom showed me some chords on it, and yeah, my mom and dad were separated at that time already, but yeah, so she taught me some chords and I.

The first song that she showed me on the guitar was Lying Eyes from the Eagles.

I still love that band.

Yeah, I love them too.

That's like one of the best bands in the world and.

Great singers and musicians, so OK, so from there on I just was in my room all the time, making my own songs and playing whatever I could come up in my head with.

And then when I was nine, I discovered Mariah Carey.

And then I heard a song from her on the radio was called Vision of Love.

And I was just completely mind-blowing of her voice and mind blown by her voice.

Excuse me for my grammar, but so I was so obsessed with her singing and then I was from that day on I.

Got her tape

And that back in the day was a tape still, you know.

And then I just practiced her voice and her songs day in and day out.

And from there on, I just developed my singing and then went to other artists studying other artists because.

Yeah, I did some talent shows when I was 15 and.

And there they gave me the great feedback and it destroyed my heart.

Though I was.

I came crying off the stage.

So it wasn't that great at that time, but it was the best advice that I got.

And they said to me.

Yeah, we're gonna let you through to through the finals, but we want to see you do your own style.

And develop your own voice and that broke my heart because I was just obsessed with her.

But that was the beginning of really creating my own identity in in music.

And and having the room to say, OK, there's already a Mariah Carey, so I cannot be a second one.

I have to be Virginia.

You know who I am.

And so, yeah, I did a different styles of music.

I went into jazz and even the the mariachi like it's a.

The music from Mexico and and and just different styles, classical music.

I love opera, you know.

And and just developing my voice and I recorded some stuff when I was in Holland and I did some yeah.

Music performance but it was more for friends and family.

And some performances was just, you know.

When I was invited to play with someone or I was in, like, sort of a school band, you know?

But to make.

Music my profession was.

The next level of thinking.

I went through some stuff when I was younger and it.

It was not so good, so it developed some self esteem and self-image issues. Let's say that.

So I knew I had this love and this passion, but I didn't think I was that talented enough or I didn't know too much about music and.

And I actually told myself you can never be a professional singer or a paid singer, that you have to just go for jobs.

What you.

Can go for and earn your money, you know, pay check to paycheck, actually, that.

So I always went into jobs.

That we're in business, that's also a side of me like I have also business business side and and I now use that.

But that's not where I'm where my heart was.

But many people told me, yeah, why don't you go do this or that with music?

And I said no, you first have to do this and you first have to do that.

So I put all these limitations on my on myself.

Because of not enough confidence and I didn't believe in myself actually at that level.

So I kept myself small.

And what happened?

I went into jobs and I overworked myself also to compensate with that feeling of not worthy enough or, you know, and then.

Never saying no and always in jobs saying yes to every what every manager wanted or or or your colleagues and you wanted to be the best colleague and please and and never disappoint.

So that got me in a lot of well, so mental tie, you know, mental and physically so it it.

I I I again went into a depression as well and and and I and I burned out.

And I was working as a secret back then was like, more than a decade ago in Holland.

I now live on Aruba.

But yeah, I had to go in sick leave on sick leave, and that was like a destruction for me.

Like the biggest disaster I thought I would die, and if I I didn't even have the courage to tell my boss that I couldn't anymore.

You know, I I can't that there was not even a word that I dared to say I I I wanted to be like this.

Super woman, you know, still proving myself constantly.

And yeah, it's.

Yeah. So I had to.

Take time for myself and.

Going this healing and recovery because I couldn't even lift my hands up to wash my hair because my whole body was in pain and so stiff and I had.

Repetitive strain injury as well working behind the computer with stress for many years.

So yeah, I had to go in rehabilitation.

Therapy physiotherapy like 3 times a week and yeah, so so much more happened.

But yeah that.

When I was in this healing process, I.

I told myself, you know, after this I'm going to do a different thing.

I'm really going to choose myself.

Now what?

What do I want?

What do I need?

I cannot constantly listen to everybody else.

What they need and what they want from me.

Because I've learned along the way that if you don't say what you need and don't say what you want, they will decide it for you.

Yeah, they will decide.

The people around you, your bosses, your people that you have in your life, even your spouse, family, you know, and I I'm yeah, very compassionate and and and.

Your family? Yeah.

empathetic woman.

And yeah, that can quickly.

Be abused, you know, and mistaken kindness for weakness.

They sometimes say, right?

So I had to really learn how to protect my myself and my boundaries and and and set boundaries because I didn't really have.

I didn't know what my boundaries were because it was crossed over a lot.

By by people in my life, yeah.

boundaries are big

Kind of a big thing.

Most people don't realize how how important they are, and it's not just about being mean to somebody because they're, they're.

They're pushing your buttons, but it's like it's how you need to be treated in order to have.

Ohh, a life that feels good.

yes exactly. To really intentionally design it so you have to become aware of.

Yourself in the deepest level, because otherwise you cannot really define.

What path?

You know, what are your values or what do you stand for?

You first have to discover that for for yourself.

So what eventually happened?

We moved to Aruba and.

I went through a whole self development phase in the meantime and and also went into therapy, so I had to heal parts of myself to really then think to really learn how to choose for myself and choose myself.

And that's.

What I've never done before, so I don't know how.

And then, yeah, from there on, I just.

I said I built my life up again.

We started from scratch.

We moved to Aruba and yeah, we went in a small little apartment.

Yeah, my my husband got a job and then later on I got a job and I was still working in.

Well, I did some work that I like to do again, but not really choosing yet.

What I love to do, and that was music.

But at some point I was really studying how to become more successful and with books and courses and the the word success.

You know, I I really typed that in in.

In in literally.

In Google, how to become successful?

Because I I now healed myself.

And then what?

I want ambition.

I was very ambitious, so I wanted now to accomplish my goals and my dreams.

Now what I wanted as a child, you know?

And now it's my.

Time you know, that kind of motivation.

I cut out all these pictures with singers on it and and me in the studio and recording music, but also on.

Big stages like I had a picture of me.

No, not was not me, but it represented me.

It was actually Sade like you know the.

Same, yeah, yeah.

And with her band.

And I thought, yeah, that that's what I want.

I want to be on that on the Jazz Festival or whatever.

I got discovered and that also had to do with following your intuition a little bit as well.

You know where to be, what to do.

So I learned all these little tactics how to put myself out there.

And then eventually I was on a stage, you know, and I worked with.

I was asked to perform different places here on Aruba and in hotels and restaurants, but also private functions, you know, private events, like weddings and corporate events.

When people from the United States can come here and big hotels, they have their corporate events and.

Perform with a band for them as well.

You know those kind of things.

But one of the musicians that I worked with, he said, hey.

You know the the Jazz festivals coming because we also had a Jazz Festival here on Aruba.

And every year, and he said, would you like to do?

A Sade tribute.

Performance on the on the Jazz Festival and I said what?

Like wow, this was exactly what was on my vision board.

And like, really literally, because I love her music, I love Sade.

I love her music, I listen to.

It a lot.

So I was a really big fan of her as well.

So, and she her music also helped me through the times that I felt really down and and depressed.

So she has really good music as well to process that sadness.

In my head, I I I could have done so many things better.

Everybody starts at the beginning.

Yes, there's, but the dream came true in so many ways, like it was full circle.

And then I thought this is the most powerful confirmation that I've ever experienced.

That had such an impact on my self esteem, but also.

If your will and desire is there, you will find a way somehow to.

Accomplish it.

But that's still takes some healing from yourself.

So then I thought, you know.

Yeah, because in the meantime, I quit my full time job in luxury retail.

When I when I worked back then and I was a full time singer, so.

So I went to from from working class to business owner.

At that time already.

So then I thought, you know.

That was also on my Vision Board to be a coach because I thought, well, I first have to help myself before I can.

Help other people.

And I I I was always a desire in me since I was young to be like a psychologist or somebody that can help other people mentally as well.

So I thought, no, I think I'm gonna go for.

Being a career coach or business coach, and I did that, I did many courses on on Life Coaching and Integrative Wellness Coaching 1st and then.

I thought, well, I'm now going to help other people.

Do what they love to do, but also become that that confidence to choose for themselves.

And I just created a program from my own experience and all the knowledge that I had throughout the years and.

The courses that I just.

Created this.

Program just went out it it just came out of me.

Let's say that it it it.

I didn't have to really think about it.

I I just had my my system.

Because of the experience, I know the thoughts behind and the feelings when you are in that place that you don't believe in.

Yourself. Mm-hmm.

I I I know where you have to start.

To end at a certain point, and so that's how my coaching business and my singing came to life.

And so that that's that's in a nutshell the story.

So yeah.

A great story and it I love how it it kind of all weaves together the experiences you've had in your life to lead you to this point where you're stepping out to help other people be successful.

I know that.

You call it Mustang Matters coaching.

So how did that name come about?

Yeah. So.

There was a moment that I was thinking about my yeah, the the business name and about my branding.

You know how it goes in the beginning.

You're so obsessed with the branding and then the website and the logo, you know?

All the things that.

Don't matter.

Those kind of things.

Yeah, exactly.

You know?

But so yeah, I first.

Came up.

Come came up with the name, coaching by the ocean.

Because I live on a a tropical island in the Caribbean and I mostly have my clients on the beach, so I coach them just on the beach.

You see the turquoise water, you're in the white sand.

It's perfect.

But then I was at a performance and some fans.

Yeah, I have like a following and they come watch me and my my performance.

And they asked.

Me. Where? Where?

Are you and uh, OK, so and mostly in the breaks.

I spent time sometimes with with.

Yeah, the people that follow me and I just talk with them or with the audience.

And then we're two friends, and one of them, I I told him and told him about, told them about my business and my plans and everything.

And and I told him the name, and he and I said coaching by the ocean.

He said no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, not coaching by the ocean.

No, it's.

I don't know it.

It's not you.

And he said, OK, well explain.

And then he said.

No, you are a powerful force and you help women to become more powerful and and break free and and and.

What about the Mustang?

And it's like.

Said yeah, Mustang because the old Mustang Shelby is is also my favorite car.

I love the 70s, by the way.

That's like my I wish I was born in that era.

So so those that real cool car or Mustang, you know, that's a great car, but also that.

I learned to drive in a Mustang.

That must

Oh, really? Oh.

I'm so jealous.

And a convertible.

I'm not talking to you anymore.

This is now.

This is too much.

The clutch.

Slipping. Oh my goodness. Wow.

My dad was teaching me to drive.

i have a vivid memory.

Oh my goodness.

And that sound of that engine is just so powerful.

And yeah.

So I sat in one once and I was just blown away.

So I can imagine it was a very cool thing for you as well when you.

It was our family car.

Ohh what?

I was like whatever.

Every day thing

So OK, so yeah, and the the horse, the Mustang is about the a wild horse is very it's a temperament has temperament, but it's still a social, you know horse and loves the social interaction with other horses but still you know.

Yeah. So.

And he said Mustang Matters.

And I said, yeah, but it already existed.

Like as a school.

But then I had to put coaching on it, you know, so it's it's not like the most original name maybe, but it really defines.

What I do?

And I help women to break free.

You know, the Mustang in them because I had to do that myself then.

Because I am.

I'm a fierce lady.

I have, like a.

You know some softness, but I'm also very determined and and and spicy.

So I also attract that type of women that I have like this personality, but also the women that want to.

Be more fierce in life.

And choose.

What they and give themselves permission to choose what they want to do so.

I had a a client in the beginning, she.

She she she felt.

Yeah, very down.

And she came to me was a referral from another client and.

I had a conversation with her at 1st and she said I I don't know who I am and but I could see on her that she was really.

This that the powerful being there inside I could see like if she would come out she would.

Be like maybe.

People would be afraid of her, you know, like, intimidated.

That's like that energy that she had inside.

that I saw it like, but she felt she didn't know who she was.

So she she made herself small.

Like, literally her body posture was more introverted.

And she said, I don't even know what my favorite color is.

And so her whole identity?

Yeah, and.

And so she went through the program with me.

Yeah, it's more about, yeah, finding the right career and whatever.

But it's also about, yeah, getting that that you out out of your yourself.

Like I don't.

Know how to really explain it but.

Get to you out of you.

Finding finding your purpose.

You know, everybody has a mission that they come here to.

To do and.

A lot of times we're just.

Like we push it down, push it down, push it down and do what we have to do to get by.

But at some point that.

That part of us, it's just like this is who I am and this is what I was meant to do, needs to come out because otherwise, what's the purpose of life?

Yeah, exactly.

So I think in a couple of weeks in the program, she she's totally lit up like she was feeling happy again, she said.

I never felt this way before and.

And said I feel happy and grateful, and she decided to go.

She got some job offers because she was unemployed at that time and she had two kids.

She didn't believe in anything that she had, but she got a couple of job offers and in in, in marketing and she got a great position and at one point I saw a picture of her standing on a stage on social media, standing on a stage, doing a speech for her company that she worked for.

And she stood very proud.

And and later on she.

Opened her own business together with her sister and.

And she said, I I I painted the the whole.

Boutique that she opened in her favorite color.

So she discovered what her favorite was pastel pink.

OK.

And yeah, so it it's it's so great you know that to see that Mustang coming out, you know and then doing what they love to do and then really seeing that they have the power in them to that force.

You know that can move.

Ohh transform your life like.

180 degrees. If you just see that, you know, if you really see your value and who you are. So yeah, I have my clients.

Triple the amount of their businesses because they see their unique.

Edge and feeling.

Yes, I can do this and I see now what?

Where my where, where my value lies.

And what's so unique on myself?

And so I, yeah, I also have some workshops that do talent discovery.

So much more things.

So that's, yeah.

So, Virginia, do you work one-on-one with your clients or do you have like a coaching program?

It will.

Yeah. So I have a three month coaching program, one-on-one private coaching and yeah, they go through a whole.

Process of self discovery, but also the assertiveness comes there learning to be more assertive.

So how to create your boundaries and and and really discover and?

And speak up for yourself.

Discover who you are, but learn how to how to come forward and show yourself in the world.

That's not only in job or in a job or.

Business, but yeah, with the with the family, with with their relationships and.

Just everyday life.

And then you can see that they create more energy for themselves because sometimes they're so busy they think they have to be busy because they let other people rule their life.

And decide for them.

So what we we come back now full circle.

And then then they learn how to balance.

And then they say, OK, well, I do have a lot of value, you know, and and then I go through when they have, when they want to go for another job, let's say that and it's a whole career discovery thing as well or a business discovery if they want to create their own business, how to set their prices negotiate.

Or the salary, the working times, all those things I go through with them.

Money. Money. Mindset. Stuff.

And how to feel good with that as well, because that can also be an uncomfortable thing.

And if you have a business how to get more clients for instance?

And then, yeah, but they mostly I see my clients, they they come in.

With I want a different career.

I want another job or I want to change my business so that happens as well.

They get into better jobs or the things that they love to do or.

Changed their business in a way or pivoted in a way that they want, but they mostly say it was much deeper than that.

It was so yeah, one of my clients says it was a very.

It's like fast track therapy.

With the purpose.

So yeah.

So it I I feel it's quite a unique process and I really have to.

So I I explained that a lot in my social media as well how that works so.

And I give workshops as well to groups and with organizations.

I worked with UNESCO, for instance, and.

Yeah. So.

That that's in short, yeah.

Sounds exciting.

So what's the one thing you want to leave our audience with today?

Some most important things that you'd like to share with them.

Yeah, that's a great question.

I I hope that.

For the who's listening now?

That they got something out of this story that you can change your life.

Because I came from.

Not so good beginnings.

I think a lot of people do.

And you can think that you are not capable.

And you don't have it in you.

But I would say take a chance on yourself.

And find ways for yourself like.

Journaling and and and studying other people's.

Success paths and to see if they can do it.

I can do it too, you know?

That's like, read certain biographies of of, of people that have accomplished things even though they had a lot of hardships because that gives hope.

But it also gives you strategies, you know.

And yeah, yeah.

And if you can't figure it out, just call me.

So that brings.

Us back to how do people get in?

Touch with you.

Send me a message.

So, yeah, I have my website.

Mustang Matters Coach.

Dot com.

And I I have a link there says book your consultation or discovery call and then you can book.

A call with.

Me and I'll.

Yeah, we'll go through.

You know, it's through it.

If to see if you're interested and and why you would love to do this and then we'll see if.

What we can do together?

And but also I'm social on social media I have.

A private free Facebook group is called the The Women's Confidence Activator.

Yeah, it's still a small group though.

It's so it's it's nice because it's personal, you know, and they can.

So yeah, those are are ways to get in contact with me.

And also on my my personal Facebook page you can message me and.

You will put the.

Details in the in the notes right?

In the show notes, yeah, for sure.

Yeah. So.

So thank you so much for joining me today.

Virginia, it has been great hearing about your story and how you help women just really become empowered.

Thank you, Jill.

Thank you.

And she's for you as well.

But maybe after this then.