Rhonda Jay Johnson: Redefining Self-Care & Motherhood

Hello and thanks for joining us today on You World Order Podcast showcase. Today, I'm pleased to welcome our guest Rhonda Johnson AKA Rhonda Jay. Businesswoman, Limitless Human being and owner of Limitless Empowerment with Rhonda Jay Welcome, Rhonda.

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much for.

Taking the time today, I appreciate it. Awesome

I'm so excited for this episode in our conversation.

So why don't you just jump right in, introduce yourself, tell us your journey to this point and tell our listeners what's so intriguing about living a limitless life.

Oh, yeah.

OK.

Well, thank you so much for that.

Again, my name is Rhonda Johnson, AKA Rhonda Jay.

My business name is limitless empowerment with Rhonda Jay and it is geared mainly to women learning how to take better care of themselves, address their needs, address their feelings and giving those feelings a voice and taking action.

I have found this in my personal journey with being a card carrying people pleaser that that I fall last on my list a lot.

And that's not just by happenstance.

That's a lot of things come with that.

Just how we're raised, what we see.

What we say we want to experience and.

I'm at a place in my.

Life at a.

Nice tender age of 46 3/4 where I'm seeing that people pleasing has its place, but as I go forward in life, it's time to take care of myself.

The same way I want to take care of others and in going on that journey I have found that you know, you know, I really didn't put myself first for many reasons at all.

And I wanted to change that dynamic in my life before something.

Made me change it.

A crisis made me change it.

So this is actually a pivot from where it was before.

I'm in mental health.

I'm at.

I went to Liberty University.

I got my first masters in human counseling services and marriage family.

I am now back in school.

Walden University to actually pursue the dream become a therapist so mental health is a serious passion of mine.

And so that's what I was doing before my business and with COVID I had to pivot. And so I moved to the space of self-care because I just felt like along with everything else with the pandemic.

A lot of people were realizing I'm on the wrong path, either career wise or personally, but definitely personally, we're doing a lot for other people and then when the pandemic, right

Well, well, I was like, we're living in a pandemic like.

What is this, the history channel

You know and.

I asked the alternate reality.

It was crazy town, right?

I was.

Like what?

And it was what I started to see because I was doing my practice on the internship at the beginning of COVID was.

The fear, everybody had.

I mean, those of us that were we I was doing through our practice, I would go into the homes of mothers.

And we couldn't do that anymore.

And some places we were the only support system.

A lot of the low income minority multicultural mothers had.

And so when that stopped.

Gosh, it was like.

The growth of the children stop the mother's mental health and Wellness stopped.

Their support stopped

The food, you know, the food stopped and so.

I carry that message into now where I'm like.

You know, we have to take care of ourselves, but we also once we, once we take care of ourselves, we also have to build that connection, that support Community.

We have to keep that going because.

Like I say with COVID like in the blink of an.

Eye everything can change.

So that's what made me really.

Realize that one I had a message of myself care journey to share and.

And I also have a responsibility.

To pay it forward.

So that's how I got here.

That's really, really wonderful.

And yes, when you think about such a traumatic event that it was for all of us going through something like that when everything.

Tends to it stopped.

And we're kind of all, just like, OK, what do we do now?

And I think a lot of the times, like, yeah, OK, we were protecting ourselves.

And we were, you know.

Doing what we had to do health wise and for our families and things like that.

It's like what we do now and I think for me at least, you know I was kind of lost because I know what to do with myself so.

I was like, well, I'm going to try and focus on my health.

Because that's the only thing I can control right now.

There's, there's, you know, there's nothing else.

You know, obviously we can we, we Skyped and we zoomed our families and we, you know and you know things came out of that.

But I think out of that came a lot of awareness, right?

Do you find that sometimes people tend to go, not take care of themselves because they feel like.

Some sort of like a guilt.

Like, if I do something for my.

Self that somehow that I'm that means that I'm not there for somebody else.

Is that something that that is a reality?

Well, I think it's a.

Version of reality.

I think that we have been taught that the two can't be true

At the same time, the two can't be true at the same time, which is I can take care of myself and take care of others.

I think that comes from a lack of intentionality, a lack of mindfulness, where it's like, well, it's coming from.

It's either one or the other.

If I'm taking care of myself, it's to the detriment of others.

And if I'm taking care of them, it's to the detriment of myself.

That's not true, but it takes strategies.

It takes planning.

It takes being mindful about what you will, what you will give and what you won't give the good the guilt part, rather, is a little harder to unpack because.

It's just I think it just, I don't know where it comes with.

Territory of being a woman I.

Don't know what it is that it's sort of like.

A woman, you know, one of the cultural narratives.

Is it's like.

A woman is like a sacrificial lamb anyway, you know, and one that does it be your mom or like in my situation or the daughters taking care of

A parent if.

You don't do that.

You are a bad person.

I'm debunking that myth for myself, and hopefully for others, it says.

You can take care of others.

Yes, it means saying no.

Yes, it means maybe having some hard conversations about boundaries, but it's something that.

We have to do because another motivation of.

Mine is.

I've seen so many people.

UM. 50

46 where it's like health problems, especially relative to stress.

Mental health problems.

Physical health problems where it's like, OK and that's what's talking about before you read that reach that crisis point.

You coming to a point in your life where you're like, OK, I need to make some changes, I mean.

I think once it's time it starts affecting your heart and your brain and things like that.

You're in this really.

I mean, I'm not saying you can't change it.

I'm just saying you're in a place where you've got to make some serious, hard decisions.

Like right now, probably yesterday, you know, and I think that's part of it that once you realize that you can't take care of yourself and you can't take care of the people, but people at the same time without the pressure of.

You know, burnout health problem, anything like that.

You just have to make that intentional.

You have to be intentional about that and like I said, the guilt with the guilt, the guilt comes.

You just get used.

To it and Start learning how to move through it.

And I think, you know, particularly, personally.

Wife, mother, daughter, sister.

You know, we tend to, as a demographic, be pulled in like a million different directions and.

You know, and I think people unintentionally probably put that pressure right because they're.

In different stages.

Of your life.

Like I try and remember when my mother was my age and she was raising teenagers and she was carrying a household and she was a wife and she was, you know.

You know, a young wife and a young mother and a daughter who, like, lost her mother, like, you know, all the things.

And I try and.

Relate to that.

And now seeing her react to certain things now where she's a grandmother and.

She's not in a pivotal.

Maternal role anymore.

It's changed so having.

Or, you know, sometimes unintentionally give that pressure like, you know, we don't really get to see you or I.

You know, we really don't get together that often or this.

And in my mind, I sit back and I say, don't you remember how crazy it was, like when you were?

Raising us and it was, you know, and this and that.

And she's so much at a wiser point now in life because she's giving me.

Like the older.

Version you know, and she's taking care of herself.

Like she didn't.

Used to and I imagine what a positive that would be if we start grasping that earlier in our lives, right.

If I already had those strategies earlier, how many breakdowns per say?

You know what I mean that maybe I wouldn't have had or maybe situations I would have had and it's OK to have like little down moments, but like I would been able to deal with them maybe a little bit better, but the pressure and the stress.

Of trying to be everything to everybody personally, and I imagine that's across the board for many women and we all have different circumstances.

Can imagine that that's extremely stressful and unhealthy.

It is.

So how can I really take care of others if I'm not healthy?

You can't.

That's the reality of the situation.

Interestingly, I recorded and I love technology because I recorded it and then it went splat.

An episode on this so this is.

Really helping me.

Craft that episode again.

And then I go to record it.

You can't.

I mean, like you, you really can't.

We have to let go of that idea that you can.

It's just it's just not possible and I say that because every I feel like we do that because it's like we don't want people to know how vulnerable we are.

We don't want people to know how stressed out and burned out we are.

But they know.

They know they know that the attitude isn't the same.

They know that your energy and your vibe isn't the same.

So whatever we're trying to hide from them, they already know some people just OK you.

Know. OK, well.

Now Casey's having a low moment today, or I'm not gonna bother her. She sound a little crazy today. Or a little off today or whatever, but.

I think we do that.

Because we think that.

Other people don't notice and we feel they don't notice.

To say anything it.

Keeps up that layer and that level of invincibility.

And I'm like, as invincible as you feel.

You are also invisible.

And when others don't, when we don't allow others to see, we're not vulnerable enough to allow others to see where we really are, we miss out on the interconnectedness.

Right.

We miss out on ways where people can help us be better mothers.

Right.

And just maybe, I mean, and maybe just help us be better mothers by relating their stories to us or just being that person who can create that safe space.

This is a person I can go to and tell them.

OK.

Today it just sucks, and here's why, and I know this person is not going to say something like, you know, the things we say.

And I talk, I call it.

Toxic positivity, you know.

Well, at least your kids healthy and fat well.

Yeah, they healthy and fat, but.

I'm over here.

On the floor.

So I'm glad for them.

Right, right.

Yeah, for the kids.

But I mean, right, they can't be healthy and fat and.

I'd be OK too.

And it's important to share that message that it is mandatory for you to be OK for the kids to be healthy.

Right.

Because part of my whole thing in school that I, I I'm just.

It's funny how you just come across things in your life.

You're like this is what I want to do.

I'm not a mother, but I study maternal health because I'm big on attachment and I've seen how maternal mental health.

As young kids, so I was working with kids when I was doing a home visiting before COVID.

They were at the most two years old, and you could see the effect of the mother's stress on the child.

And because I was in mental health were like, well, I have this and I have that.

And I'm like, you know, like trying to self diagnose this.

And I don't know.

I really don't know what you have.

That's not why I'm here.

But I'm just seeing how you react to stress and your child.

Reacts to you.

You know.

Could be problematic, OK, because if we don't put in.

Things here for you as a mother supports therapy group therapy.

Your child is already on a path.

Your child is all in and.

Real talk.

Your child's already in a minority, so to.

Me it's like.

They're looking at the child anyway, and so if the child comes in.

Not able to emotionally regulate.

Now being emotionally resilient, you know?

Any type of.

Behavior like that, it's going to be very hard to get them out of that path once they're on it.

And So what I begin to realize is I said these are mothers who are like is.

My kid is fed.

My kid is good.

I'm not, but I'm OK.

It's like the child picks up on that.

The child is.

I mean, I had a project this summer and I was looking at.

That's like the child is already picking.

Up on your.

Stress and reacting to it.

They may react with anger.

A lot of children shut down and isolate.

OK so.

To the mothers, that's what I'm saying.

It's like you don't want your child just the same way.

Like I was saying earlier, the adults see it.

The children feel it.

And they feel it from a child.

'S point of.

View what did I do to mom? Mom's mad at me.

So how do I, you know already?

At that young age, you're.

Trying to figure out how you sidestepped.

Maybe through people pleasing, maybe through anger, maybe through isolation.

You see what I'm saying?

Isolating yourself from that person, isolating yourself from others.

So it's the whole.

Thing when we don't take care of ourselves, it is.

It's just that drop that has that ripple effect.

Through our families and through society, so it's so important to.

Take care of yourself as a mother.

Yeah, I was literally just going to say that it sounds like it's such a ripple effect because when it affects 1 portion, it's just going to flow into other portions of your life.

And you're right.

When you think that you're hiding it or you think that you're masking it, or you're pretending that you're, you know, maybe strong.

Or then maybe you want to admit that you are, or let other people know that you're admitting that you need help, or you know that's somehow it deflating feeling.

It's like I can't do everything and I can't let everybody know that I can't do everything, so I'm going to try and do everything to stress myself out.

I'm going to make myself sick.

Just like this cycle.

And then when you really think about it, especially if you are a mother, those things are being watched by your children, they're watching you and they don't have the perception to kind of say, mom, why are you acting like this?

They're internalizing that.

So we don't.

You know, we tend to not realize.

That those are the, you know, we think that.

OK, well, I'm not going to yell and scream and I'm not going to be, you know, a tyrant.

And I'm not going to curse and I'm not.

Gonna do these?

Are that those are the only things that they're.

So they're absorption, right?

Children just absorb everything from the moment that they're born.

Even before that, I believe in the womb.

I believe you know.

That's why they had us listen to music.

And you know, things like that.

But it just, why wouldn't why wouldn't that change?

Like if we were having them?

Like that, that in the womb, why wouldn't we carry those practices on after?

And it does it.

It affects you and how can I pretend to be OK when I know I'm not?

And I think it's important to have a good support system and a way to navigate through those feelings and be like, OK, today I'm feeling really overwhelmed.

I'm on edge for whatever reason and be OK.

And admitting like I need to step back a little bit.

And maybe today I can't take these calls.

AB and C.

And be OK with that, that that doesn't mean that you're a failure.

Right.

To release yourself and I think that's a really wonderful tactic that you that you have and that you bring forward to, like, work on those things because there's so many things in the world that they're people are already struggling with.

That are beyond their control.

So this is something that you can't draw and society these days just want to kind of like dump you with pharmaceuticals.

That's mostly what they want you to do, and I'm sure that if a child is reacting to a certain way that their parent or their mother is.

It could be assumed that they have some sort of disorder, whether it's mental disorder or you know something that it's so quick.

And if we just all just sit back, let's just sit back and take a breath.

And I think that's really right

So who are who are really who you're trying to target here to help with these processes?

And UM, these resources to help through.

Why don't you talk about like who you're trying to help here.

Well, I I'm actually looking for more of an age range.

Because it's more a level of receptivity so that you understand you're a person probably between like 30 and 60.

I feel 30.

You're starting to get that awareness.

Like, wait, what's happening?

You know, you're starting to become more aware of, you know, what you want in life.

I think your ideas and your.

Values are really.

Starting to formulate and take root mothers.

Career women.

Those who identify as people pleasers OK sound like I'm talking to every woman, but.

It's a level.

Of awareness.

I know it's kind of.

Vague, but it's a.

Level of awareness where you understand you want to take better care of yourself because you want to be a better mother.

You wanna be.

And if you're a career woman, you wanna.

Be better at your career.

You probably have a sense of.

Feeling disconnected, maybe feeling anxious, a lot.

Not sleeping very well.

Maybe depression and I say that in the sense of the things that you used to take pleasure in, you don't take pleasure in anymore and you're looking for a way to connect with yourself and relax.

That's, that's where I am.

I want you like my big thing is journaling.

That's like I'm big into creating digital content.

That's another one of my pivots and one of them is journaling because I want to stop that chaos in your mind.

All those thoughts running around.

And have a place where you can see the thoughts and you can do so.

It's just you.

So it's like a judgment free area where you're like, you know, you look at those eyes and say that's kind of a bad way to think and then become aware of it.

And say, OK, what are some good next steps?

OK.

And though they're products that I sell for that as well, just real talk, I'd like to get back into coaching for that reason.

I think that support would be good.

Time is not allowing for that right now, but that's something eventually that I want to get into so.

I hope that that's.

I may need to drill down a little bit.

More on my audience.

But those are the main.

You know, yeah.

Those are the main people I'm looking for and that's why it's more of a an age range.

Which is kind of a wide range.

Right.

It is.

But that also I think that's good because they think that.

They're over the age of where, you know their minds and their bodies are technically and biologically matured at that point, right?

And now they're most are self-sufficient enough and responsible for their own lives, because most of them, you know, are out of their parents house by that point. Maybe starting new families like you said, new mothers.

So there's that.

Whole new shift.

Almost like you're in another.

You're in another stage of your life, right?

And how to navigate through all these things are going to be thrown at you.

And I remember one time I.

Used to, I don't know.

Maybe it was.

My first house or could have been my first marriage.

I don't know.

And I never said like when does it end?

Like something was happening with the kids.

Something has happened with work and you know, maybe I lost my job.

I can't remember it was.

It was a trim.

It was like a it was an outlying event that had happened.

And I remember there was like a number of things.

That had happened, and I just remember.

Crying to her and she was like I was like, when does it stop?

When is it like?

When do you ever just and she was like honey, it doesn't stop.

It doesn't ever stop.

There's always going.

To be something so.

You have to learn and grow from each thing.

And of course you know.

You see mom like.

OK, mom.

Like you.

Know like, right? But in hindsight, when I wish I would have listened years and years ago because I'm 44, not much younger than you.

And I'm at 44 going. I'm still like, what the heck? Like how you.

Know I.

Feel like I should be seasoned in this like.

But that's not because.

Right.

I don't have.

The proper ways of.

Of dealing with things or.

You know, getting through things and things like that.

Have you found that people are either one in denial?

That something's going on or two, they're having trouble admitting that they can't be.

Everything for everybody and please everybody.

Do you see it as one or the other or both?

Or is it something totally different?

I'm just curious to see.

Like how people's minds. It's fascinating to me how everyone's minds work.

I think.

The more I dip into the subject, the more I'm like it's a cultural it is an American dictate.

And then your specific culture has a lot to do with.

It how it's shaped.

And I think it's baked in right.

I call it one of my friends posted something in July.

I had a little series on my personal page and my business page about hustle versus alignment.

And so the word hustle is, you know, diametrically opposed to taking care of yourself like you it.

It's like how do?

You do it.

And so it's like you don't you can't, like you have to make a conscious decision.

Whether to hustle.

Or align with your values and I think when.

It comes to that conversation, it's like, well, I'm not gonna be great.

I'm not gonna be this person.

I'm not going to be, I don't know Beyoncé would ever had a kid.

And this and I was like Beyoncé.

And Beyoncé, you're the baby.

Beyoncé got 15 people.

Cooking for the kids, taking care of the kids she is not personally taking care of them.

Kids, right?

Right, right.

You know what we see

Is what they present, and I mean I.

If I could do that, I would too, if I could present myself, as a tech guru and I really have like 20 people in the background helping me.

I probably do the same thing.

So we have to understand that.

It's like.

What we think is real is not so.

What is attainable?

That's my thing is the personal choices that we do have make us powerful.

That's the empowerment.

That's the confidence part.

OK, so.

I have these kids.

I have this house

I can't clean the house like I like to.

OK, what can I do well.

Would it be too bad to hire a housekeeper?

Can I do?

Can I do that once a month, once every two months to help me out?

OK.

And you go through whatever that comes up, whatever comes up, you know?

Oh, Mary.

Can do it.

This, this, this.

This, this and my thing is let whatever come up come up.

If it's feelings of inadequacy, feelings of failure, that's going to happen.

My thing is, as part of this self-care process is addressing those things and then getting back to what needs to be done.

You see?

So it's like, OK.

I feel guilty.

Yeah, I may get some backlash.

And if I do, if they just if somebody feels like they need to say something, I can choose whether to make that a conversation or not.

But at this point right now I want the.

House cleaned and I need to figure out I can't do it.

I don't have the energy today.

I'm too tired.

What can I do?

And so we push back on that on that narrative that says, well, then you know you're bad.

Mother, if you can't.

Why can't you?

Right.

Just to get women to think about.

Is to get women.

Think about different choices.

Different ways to handle it and understanding that they are for to what you're used to.

You're not used to asking for help.

You're not used to saying, oh gosh, I need help with this.

It's about.

Learning vulnerability too.

But that vulnerability.

In so many ways, will save your life, so I feel it's.

That's what I feel like it is.

It's just societal, cultural.

It's this whole mindset of you can do it all if you just fill in the blank.

And how you can do most of it.

But you have to be counting up the cost each and every time.

You make that decision.

Yeah, you know.

To answer your question.

To the point, no, it did absolutely.

And I think to your point is.

In essence.

If we're kind of.

Just kind of trying to get through it, barely making it.

Not sitting back, taking a breath and learning how to control those.

You know those emotions and those feelings and those stresses, anxieties.

Staying centered, that means we're not putting our all into all of the things that we're doing, so.

When I'm being wife, Mother, daughter, sister.

You know, PTA mom.

Whatever you say.

Know whatever you know, Bill payer, like our rules, are like endless, right?

If I'm, I feel like in a sense, like if you're not fully healthy and you're not fully centered, you're not giving 100% to all those things.

So you're, you know, maybe you're giving 50 to this one and maybe you're giving 20 to that one, but you're doing really good.

And you know, maybe being the soccer coach, you know, cause something maybe a little bit more.

Fun so like 100%.

You're there.

So to be, I feel like to be successful.

I mean then the roles aren't going to go away.

I still have to do what I have to do, right?

Like that still has to be done.

I'm not trying to eliminate roles.

But I think if we're healthy, we're succeeding in those roles.

And then in hindsight, when we're doing well and we're succeeding at those different down those different paths.

Ultimately that feels better.

Yeah, right.

We're rocking it.

We're doing each thing and we're killing it.

You know what I mean?

It's not going to be perfect all the time, but you feel like you're succeeding a little bit more.

You know, like you're you can be proud of yourself and that and that being a positive instead of just constantly reminding yourself I couldn't get to the vacuuming today.

You know, I just, I couldn't get to the vacuum today.

You know, I was focused on this and that.

But is it really?

Good in this.

And that so I'll do the vacuuming tomorrow, but not letting that.

Tear your insides out.

Like, Oh my God.

I didn't get the vacuum done.

I am horrible.

I don't want to keep my house clean, you know, cuz then we tend to snowball

All right, we're like.

A case of snowballing and being dramatic.

Yes, yes, we are, yeah, yes if.

CPS came.

They would arrest me because.

I have you know.

Cobwebs in the corner of the.

House, right.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, and you have.

So I find that like, yeah, I just think it's really positive.

Go ahead.

Like if you're, if you're fully invested in keeping yourself healthy, you're going to be performing better.

Right, right.

And you actually let go of that perfectionism.

Right, so now incremental

Incremental things mean a lot.

So today I actually you know, I'll clean the toilet today.

OK. And you are.

You're so satisfied with that, like, oh, that's you know

And maybe next week, next month, we'll get to the sink too, but if not, I like the way you said that you.

You're not a bad mom, a

Bad human

If yes, it's coming.

Everybody does it.

It's not.

It's because nothing will have you laid out, in my opinion, more than that mess.

That mess right there.

And that's that to me, is what I want to stop for women that.

OK, you know I did not do this one mundane task in the scale of all things.

That means i'm this.

No, it doesn't mean anything unless you give it that value.

So if we don't give it the value of, who am I as a person?

You know, So what

I do what I don't do is a measure of who I am.

Then I can do.

So many more things.

You know, I can.

Or not and you're still.

One of the living you're still awesome, you know.

And so we begin.

Like I said, you begin to be able to make choices, intentional choices of not only what you do, what you don't do, but what you think and what.

You don't

Because now it's not tied to your intrinsic value, it's not tied to who you are to.

Other people maybe, and that's their business.

But when it comes to you yourself, you know that you're a good mom.

You know that you are a Good Wife.

You are.

Whether that toilets clean or not.

Right.

And like it's not going to lead to, I'll say it like this.

If the toilets a, you know, a mess and this is a mess and you got roaches and stuff like.

That a whole lot of other things are going on.

Then you need a housekeeper.

You got a whole bunch of other issues you need to deal with, but that's not, by and large, everybody.

Everybody's like I just didn't have time to get to it and that's where we keep it.

I didn't have time to get to it today.

Like you said, we'll.

Get to it tomorrow.

We may even get to it on Thursday and all that's OK because it's like.

But it's true.

All that's OK because.

I'm a good person.

I'm not a measure of what I can and can't or did.

Or didn't do.

100% and I think.

I mean, just as a human race, I think we.

All do men.

And women alike.

We undervalue what we do.

So when someone just cleans the toilet or just gets the vacuuming done.

That's still an important thing because it needed to get done, so it's important.

So I think we tend to kind of.

The things that we do and it doesn't feel good, that's, you know to us, do anything you know we oh that's.

Not really that important.

So and I got it done.

But what does?

What does that really mean?

You know that that's not giving me a medal.

It's not giving me, you know, I'm not being elected some, you know, some kind of position because you know what I mean?

So I think we we're kind of like our definitely our.

Our own enemies, when it comes to that, because we're trying to.

Quantitatively rate ourselves.

All the time, right.

And it's like.

I just want to tell.

Myself. Like lay off, yeah.

Because, again, you gotta realize you're.

You're comparing your.

You know, I mean, you're comparing yourself to giants.

You're comparing yourself to that part.

And who really is that though?

That part who really has it, I'll think about.

You know, and who really?

Is that that's in your own mind, I think.

Yeah, I'll say about somebody.

I am.

His name is David Goggins, and he's gotta run.

Love him.

Red roll his book.

Love him, love right.

Read his books.

Love him.

Love is.

Myself, like I don't want to run 8 marathons in a week.

But I was like.

It's like, no, that's David's Lane.

Ross is right here.

Right.

Let me be the queen of this right here, as he's the king of that right there.

And that's.

OK, that's his, that's his thing.

You know.

And his Brenda hustles. Great.

Yeah, it wouldn't work here in my sphere and I got.

I literally was like man, because I.

Was a runner at the time I was.

Yeah, you know, and it's like, no, you don't.

Don't do that because yeah.

You don't.

I'm funny.

David Goggins story, actually.

It's so funny. So

I tend to do these physical challenges for myself and Andy.

Priscilla is another one of those in those fears and what he is fears because what he does is he try creates habits and stuff like that.

So because I'm constantly trying to work on something or another, you know, try and better myself every day.

So any facility is something called 75 hard and it's basically like a mental and physical kind of challenge, but it's more like for habit forming and mental building.

And one of the things is you have to read a nonfiction book.

So I was like, oh, David Goggins definitely going to read David, God's book now, his first one, his second one.

It wasn't as good.

Just letting you know.

Our preaching.

Got it, got it.

Sported them.

Bought it, it was still good, but it was definitely different than the first one.

I remember reading the part where he was.

I set my mind to running, you know this ridiculous marathon or something that he wasn't prepared.

He didn't know how to prepare for it and like, run for it.

And this was the one where he ran it and he got all of the.

Fractures and whatnot, like in his in his legs and all this kind of stuff and ran with, like basically like broken legs.

Surely you heard of everything?

So I was doing my challenge and I went on a walk.

And during my walk, it's like this sky opened up like and I was a good 20 minutes from home, like there was like, no way whatsoever.

And I live in a very rural area, so like I don't have a lot of cell service.

So I was like, alright, well, it's raining.

I mean, you know, and I'm saying I try to motivate myself, like, OK, it's just rain, Kasey.

It's just rain.

Like you're not, you know, alright.

Some walking, walking, walking.

My fiancé at the time drove by.

He was like I've been like going like your route.

Your normal route just to make sure, like you're OK and all this kind of stuff.

And I said no, no, I'm fine.

And I was reading.

This book and I got my and I'm drenched and my clothes are sticking to my body.

And my sneakers are like every step like water is flying out.

I mean it was like a torrential flooding, flooding rain.

And I was like, no, if David Goggins.

Can run with fractures.

I can walk in the rain.

And he was like, OK, just.

Call me if you need me.

Like you know, there's pushing it, pushing yourself, but there's, like, overdoing it also, just keep that in mind.

There, there's yeah.

And then he, like, kind of like took off and then texted me.

But no, and i did it.

And i did do it.

And I was and I just kept talking to myself and pushing myself.

Sometimes, yeah, you.

Do have to push yourself a little bit.

Be a little hard on yourself

But that's so funny.

You brought him up, so.

That was totally off.

key a little bit with the story.

But when you said David Goggins is that

That's what came in my mind was.

That, but most of the stuff.

Is unattainable and you.

You know, like you said, if it you don't know what's.

Behind the scenes.

Yeah, you know, so like, if you're comparing yourself and I think we do that as a society itself and you're so right on point with culture and society, because we tend to look at these people, you know, and say, well, how can they do it?

Like, how come they're like this?

And how come they're and we constantly compare ourselves and that's just another layer of stuff that we put on ourselves, right, so.

It is, yes, yeah.

Yeah, 100%.

And I mean that was a great story because that demonstrated the point.

The point was there was intentionality.

Right.

You're like, you know, and you made the decision right then and there to keep going forward, you know, and now you have a great story to share and you persevered.

But you know, if you decide to get in the car, that would.

Have been smart too.

Smarter, like the four people who looked at.

Me that pass and was like.

Do you need a ride?

Are you sick?

What's happening?

And I was like, I'm fine.

Like, clearly not fine.

For this.

Yeah, right.

She can't be.

It's a.

Like you know, no.

Blinding rain like.

So yeah, it's about that balance though.

It's about perserverance

It's like doing what you can do, but it's also OK.

So it would have been OK, I think, to your point it would have.

Been OK if.

I jumped in the car.

And it they wouldn't have.

Meant that I was.

A failure, but I was very wet.

I was very cold.

I was very.

Tired but.

I feel very proud of myself after.

That's a beautiful thing, yes.

You know, so yeah.

And I'm proud of you for doing.

So that's funny.

That too, that's.

Well, thank you.

Thank you.

I don't know if I do it.

Again, but I.

Know that day I did.

No, no.

Please. Yeah, so I.

How can people get in touch with you?

How can

Because I think we can all definitely.

And connect with what you're working on here.

And could attest that like.

We could use your help, certainly.

So how can people get in touch with you?

OK. Well, you can visit my website at www.limitless, Rhonda Jay. I'll spell it out. Rhonda jay dot net.

I'm also on Facebook. I'm.

In the process, I think.

Of changing the page but for now.

So its limitless empowerment with Rhonda Jay and then on Instagram, I am limitless under score empowered

So you can just check me out there, see what's going on, and I'm going to be starting a podcast soon, so I'll be giving out that information once I have my thank you.

That's awesome.

I mean, if I wasn't motivated before this, I'm motivated definitely.

Now this is this.

Is awesome.

So yeah, it's on the podcast, yeah.

Yes, great, great.

Another great way to you know connect with uh.

People who maybe aren't quite ready to admit that they need help, but it's OK.

Right.

It's a process.

Yeah, absolutely.

Well, Rhonda, thank you sincerely from the bottom of my.

Heart. Thank you.

This is a wonderful, wonderful conversation and wonderful episode, fascinated with the way that you want to empower and help people.

And you know, we'll definitely list all of your contacts when we.

Release the episode, of course, but thank you so much for your time today.

Thank you.