Peter Tilkov – Software Engineer – Gamer – Coach Group Creator

Transcript

Hi and welcome to You World Order Showcase program. Today we're speaking with Dee. She's a chief excitement Officer, CEO and Empowerment coach for fire. Within coaching her twenty year career expands across insurance, community outreach and healthcare industries.

She's masters and executive leadership and recently became a certified business and life coach.

She's dedicated to helping businesses provide psychologically safe environments to prevent workplace trauma.

Please help me welcome Dee to the show.

So please help me welcome Dee Hoke, welcome, Dee.

It's nice to have you on the show.

So tell us a little bit about yourself, what you're doing.

So my name is Dee and I am a coach.

I own fire within coaching and the name means a lot to me.

I was burnt out for about 13 years and I didn't know better.

I didn't know that I had other options because I was just doing what I thought I was supposed to do.

So I decided to start my company and leave the corporate world and help.

Prevent workplace trauma because that's something that, you know people generally don't.

Want to talk about?

But I like talking about things that people.

Don't want to talk about.

So just creating psychological safety for their people and I also have a podcast where I want people to come on and just talk about their.

What and what their passion is, and I want them to inspire other people.

That sounds really exciting.

So what got you started in in that?

Mainly it was my own experience.

So for I said for 13 years, well what happened was I had moved to Virginia, not knowing anybody from New York.

So I really already had that where I wasn't really sure who I was, where I was supposed to be new.

Ohh I ended up burning myself out by going to school.

Being a parent, you know, being a wife, working full time and I thought I was supposed to be able to handle all that and.

You're not supposed to.

Be handling all that stuff.

You know, it's a lot.

It was a great lie.

Told to a whole generation of people.

Absolutely, you can be super.

Have it all.

I mean you can have.

You can have it all.

But like you know, you have to have it in.

Small bits, right?

Like so, if I look back, I I definitely would have changed, you know, just my mindset of course.

And maybe do school, then work or work then school.

Something like that.

Because I definitely did burn myself out and because of that, my mental health.

Took a huge decline.

And that's something that I don't want other people to, you know, to deal with.

I I want other.

People to to.

Feel safe when they're at work.

So what kind of work?

Did you do?

I worked in.

You broke up a.

So I worked in.

Little bit there.

I'm sorry I worked in, in, in healthcare so, so I was.

Working and going to school and when I got my masters degree I was at that point where I'm like ohh great.

Now I can do what I'm.

Supposed to do?

And it didn't happen.

So for two years I was just.

Continuing to do that downward.

Girl, because I wasn't happy with where I was because I thought that I should have been farther.

And then in it last August when I started my company, it finally got to the point.

Well, actually let me back up.

So before the pandemic, I had started a new job.

Within the healthcare organization that I was working.

At and I was like this is awesome.

You know, this is where I want to be.

And then COVID NIT and it just rocked my world and it changed everything for me.

I felt really isolated and I just didn't feel like I connect with my, you know, new coworkers.

So then in August.

I just I I kind of like not really snapped, but I was kind of, like, snapped out of it and was.

Like, wait a.

I don't have to do this.

I don't have to, you know, feel this way.

But why are you passionate about?

What you do and.

Does it align with who you are now?

So yes, it 100% aligns with who I am now and and honestly, it makes me passionate.

Because I wish that I had.

I had a me like me now, so I wish I had somebody who would take the time and say hey, you know, give me your hands, you know, I'll help you.

Through this and I I didn't, I didn't have that safe place and certainly I didn't have the safe place inside my mind either, you know, cause there's a lot of like negative self talk and stuff like that, but yeah.

Very cool, very cool.

So how how do you actually, who do you?

Help let let's start there.

Yeah, so I help organizations.

Business leaders, managers, pretty much anyone that is in that position where they can help the culture.

I'm very culture driven.

I feel very strongly that psychological safety is the foundation of any healthy.

So I work with them explaining that and also just coaching them through.

Certain aspects of what's holding them back a lot of times, it's the limited belief system and it's the ohh I was supposed to do this and then I also work with individuals and do individual coaching.

One of my favorite coaching is the safety coaching.

After the pandemic, I started going back to the grocery store and I would have panic attacks and I wouldn't be able to be in the grocery store.

I'd I would just get so overwhelmed and I would have to leave and it was because where I like felt isolated for so long.

But I didn't feel safe going somewhere very simple like a grocery store.

So that so it's very important to me to build trust to to help others build trust with the people in their lives as well as just feel safe within themselves that I didn't have that.

And I I wish I did.

There are a number of people around that that's that's called eforia or something like that where they they can't leave their house because they they, they're just like paralyzed to.

Stepping out and because they don't feel safe and they I'm sure it's much more complicated than I'm oversimplifying it for sure so.

So when you work with companies, do you have like a package?

Do you work with their employees?

Do you just work with the managers?

Do you work?

How does that look?

So I do have a.

Originally it was a leadership development program and it's just working on, you know, those interpersonal skills.

And then I realized, you know what, you don't have to.

Be a leader.

To have these skills, you need these skills regardless if you're a leader.

So I am putting it together and so it's not completely done yet, but I'm putting it together in a professional development, you know, a a professional development program where I'm looking at 12 weeks where we can do intensive coaching as well as.

Some you know some activity, some scenario based activities as well.

It's I have a history of learning and development.

So I really enjoy teaching people, but I also enjoy the coaching.

I love the coaching aspect of it as well.

The one-on-one because it makes such a difference when you're just like connecting individually with people.

And the ripple effect is huge.

It is, it is so.

Big I had one client who she was actually one of my first clients and she was really in a rot.

She her like her self esteem was down and it turned out it's because she didn't.

Have a raise for three years.

And she wasn't sure how to approach that.

So just something simple as how do I advocate for myself?

So you know, we did some exercises, some you know and some meditation and stuff like that, just to get her centered.

And, you know, she asked for her raise.

And, you know, she got it.

So for me, I was like, ohh, you know, if if you just if we just have people in the workplace.

Have a safe person to ask those questions too, like hey, how do I ask for a raise?

So those are the type of things that I really it's more the human to human connection that.

I like it's like human resources training.

So I I feel like human resources is, I would say more.

I don't even know because I feel like human resources kind of puts it in a.

I don't even know.

Actually, I don't even.

Know what I'm.

Trying to say normally.

When you approach human resources, they're like the.

The gatekeepers of the company, and they're kind of scary people.

But if you train them to be more approachable and to be more employee oriented.

They're probably would get more out of their employees if their employees felt safe approaching human resources rather than, you know, the impression that you and I both share.

I know I couldn't even put it into words.

And and I actually did work for human resources for a little bit and it's just for me, I'm, you know.

I believe in the progressive.

I believe in moving forward.

I believe that the system is broken and and that's not always the belief.

You know, in in with human resources.

So for me it's all about the human development because I feel like that that's the backbone of your company, regardless of what your company is your employees.

Your backbone there.

So you could.

She's going to represent your company.

You could actually work on.

Getting your clients your clients would be more along the lines of people that would want to go into human resources and they could have the certification that says, you know, I've been trained to help people.

Get be able.

To express themselves in a safe environment.

So it's more like a training for people to take to, to get a job.

Right.

Rather than trying to approach the companies themselves.

I love it.

Because that's that's like going up against guys.

Yes, yeah, yeah.

Gotta go in the back door.

Well, and that's what I said.

I was on some calls earlier and you know, I was like, I can't do it by myself.

I can't take on corporate America.

I I just.

But what I can do is I can get as many talented people as I know.

That have the same viewpoint of me.

And we can become a force.

And make even if we.

Make a little bit of a change that's going.

A lot of people making a little bit of.

Change will change.

The world, and that's what we're all about here too.

So is there anything that you'd really want our listeners to know?

UM, about me.

About what you're doing about just.

In general, OK.

So I would say if you are someone who really feels like you're just spinning your wheels and you, you know, we spend 50% of our time or more at work.

So if you do not feel safe at work, if and if you do not feel like you can you know your opinion is valued, or you can even voice your.

That's a red flag.

So I would say no, your red flags, no and and trust your gut trust.

You know, like I knew long ago when I started in healthcare, it was not for.

Me, but I did.

It because I thought I was supposed to so.

Challenge your limited beliefs.

You know, and really just ask questions, ask why.

So how can people get in touch with you?

So I am on, I'm on alignable and on LinkedIn Poly work and Facebook and all of it is under D Hoke.

HOCH.

Yes you ma'am.

And we will put the links in the description below for you to get in touch with her.

It has been our pleasure chatting with you, Dee, and I'm really looking forward to seeing how your how your company progresses.

Thank you, we're young, but.

We got have the fire, so we're ready.

That the name of your company.

It is fire within coaching fire within coaching.

There you go.

Be sure and like and share this with your other coaching friends and we'll see you on the next episode.