Monique Derouen – Healing Chronic Pain with the Mind

Hi and welcome to the You World Order Showcase podcast. Today we are speaking with Monique.

Darren, is that how you say your last name?

Derouen. OK.

I was doing so good I think.

I've done like.

Five or six episodes in a row where I didn't screw up somebody's last name.

So welcome to the show, Monique. She is a mind, body coach and so much more. I am really excited to have you on the show and to hear all about the.

Things that you're.

Doing so tell us how you got started, because it's interesting journey, I'm sure.

Yeah. Thank you for having me, Jill. It's a pleasure to be here and those French names are a little bit tricky anyways, so no worries.

On my part.

But short story.

Straight out of high school, I went to hair school and I had these big dreams to be a hairdresser, own my own place. So I bought a salon. I dug in. I was really good.

At this skill.

And life started to happen and I had two babies, very young, finding that balance between work and life.

And being a mom.

Became a big struggle.

And my body began to take a little toll on me. So migraine started happening. Carpal tunnel syndrome started popping up. Frozen shoulder, old injuries from childhood where I had bicycle accidents and car wrecks. Just my body just kind of started doing these really weird things. And I was very young, I mean.

I was. I was a mom of two.

By the time I was 22 years old, so that tells you, it doesn't seem like your body should fall apart that young.

Fast forward a few years. I leave a very abusive relationship head out of town, go to a different state, start raising my children alone and the health problems just continued. It was kind of 1 diagnosis after the other. They started putting me on medication. I was hospitalized for different things like.

Adrenal fatigue, which is very interesting on its own but just really started seeing the toll that my life was taking on my body. The stress was really high, the anxiety was through the roof and I was really struggling.

So a few years later I start trying to do things about this. I, you know, go get my yoga certificate and I become a yoga teacher and I am getting all these other certifications in the spa. I have a really great corporate spa job and they're taking care of me. They're doing a really great job. And I got a nail tech.

License and an esthetician license and a massage therapy license and just kind of kept adding to my resume and thinking that these different modalities would help my body feel better. I was, I was certain it was the job. I really didn't understand stress and the mind body connection at that time.

And there was a moment where I just started feeling really bad. Like I didn't want to get out of bed. I was on 9 medications. I had multiple surgeries, and this was in my early 30s by this time, so.

Timeline wise, my body was falling apart. I was struggling with all these things and I was like, there's got to be. There's gotta be a better way. There's gotta be something different.

Out there, which is where I went into massage.

Therapy school.

And I thought that if I could learn to work on my body through working on other people's body because I was really good at helping other people feel better.

But I couldn't make.

Myself feel better. So I had this kind of idea that if I could help them feel better and I could learn what those things were, then I could use.

It for myself, but what happened was much different.

I went to school, I had an amazing teacher. She actually wrote the massage therapy books. She was brilliant and I fell in love with the nervous system. I fell in love with.

The brain and I started understanding the way the brain really protected the body, activated all the things in the body, how the body was like this own natural pharmacy like.

If you cut your hand, your skin grows back.

You break a bone, your bone grows back together. Your body knows how to digest food and create saliva. And and all of these little things. And I had already heard about mind body, but I didn't really understand it in a way that I could use it in.

My favor and it kind of brought all the pieces together.

So I have all this knowledge. I have all this information but I don't know what to do with it right so.

I'm really interested in helping people heal. I'm really interested in helping myself heal. I was seeing little glimmers little moments where I was starting to feel better, but nothing really long term, and I eventually went into a coach training program, a mind body coaching program and got the meat and potatoes of everything that I've been missing. I started to begin to see the.

Integration that I wasn't seeing before and kind of leaving in all these little parts that created this whole picture for me of what the how actually was, how to physically heal the body.

With the nervous system, with the brain with these techniques that I'd seen and heard about, but I couldn't actually do.

It's fascinating. It's so amazing how much trauma gets trapped in our body and causes all of these problems.

And being able to have the tools to like.

Dig it out, but that's like.

It's so important.

So you were suffering from chronic pain and you were able to overcome that.

Yes, yes, I have about a 20 year chronic pain journey.

Where my physical body was just inflamed.

There were days that I couldn't close my hands.

There were days that it was hard to walk.

Punk, I had to buy special shoes that had all these tools to kind of support my life. I traveled with a bag that had like heating pads and ice packs and icy hot and lidocaine patches and.

All the things that could make me more comfortable and then eventually I just quit doing stuff and I started to isolate and depression kind of started to set in, which brought me.

Down a whole.

Different rabbit hole but.

It was hard. It was hard to go places. My digestive system was really crazy for a couple of years, so you know, I was nervous about being.

Out in public I.

You know, and and being young and and wanting to get out and have fun and bring my kids places and enjoy life with my friends. You know, there was so much disruption.

So I just, I just kind of turned in and isolated and I just did the self soothing however I could, but I started really missing out on the things.

I wanted to do.

What do you think that all of?

These things started happening to you.

Yeah. So you know what we know with trauma and I'm a I'm a trauma specialist at this point. I have an expertise in that field. But what we know with trauma is things happen when we're very young and it doesn't have to be something big.

It could be Grandma ran out of chocolate chip cookies.

It could be I was told, to quit tap dancing.

In the house.

And these moments create what we call an imprint.

In our nervous system.

And then, years later, if something happens, maybe in high school, right, really young adults and it kind of feels like the time when.

Grandma said there was no cookies and I didn't.

Get what I wanted?

Or I was told to stop tap dancing and that's the only thing.

That brought me fun.

So I couldn't have fun. I couldn't.

I couldn't enjoy.

Life, right?

And and then later on again something else happens in adulthood.

And we believe that because we're not five years old anymore that.

It shouldn't bother us.

But the body remembers what the mind does not.

And the perception of the event.

Might be distorted.

Might be confused.

And so the body kind of just takes on these little things and it becomes.

Like a storage locker.

And about 35 to 45 most people.

Go through what we consider a midlife crisis.

They think their bodies breakdown. They begin to have a lot of back pain, neck pain, shoulder pain, plantar fasciitis, sciatica, migraines, gut health issues, allergies to.

Foods that they've never been allergic to.

And I'm going to speak from a mind, body perspective.

That this is the storage locker that's full.

And this energy and this information has to go somewhere. So it manifests in the physical body as illness and disease, DIS dash, lack of ease, disease.

And these symptoms?

Start to occur.

And so the body is creating with the mind and the emotions have never been allowed to move through process, understand, be validated with.

But there is a way to change it.

Share that with us.

Yeah. Yeah, so.

Edge of the seat.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what.

I realized through all of this journey was my body was remembering things and holding on to these things and my brain was giving me these signals and these messages and my body was feeling what my brain was telling me.

But it didn't really make sense.

And it's really hard to see your own unconscious, and we definitely can't see our subconscious.

So as a massage therapist, I'm touching the body and I'm manipulating the skin and I touch the knee and my client tells me a story about her son.

And I touched the back of the neck and my client tells.

Me a story about her brother.

And I touched the elbow and she's telling me about her husband. Like, these are all different people. And I'm kind of noticing this over time. Like, the same stories kind of popped up in the same spaces.

Now, what do we know about the shoulders, right?

Sometimes with heavy carry the.

And right.

Weight of the world exactly.

The back, you know, the low back is financial responsibility, not feeling supported. Fear of moving forward in life.

The neck, who's being a pain in my.

Neck or am I not being flexible?

My hands with carpal tunnel. Right. I had carpal tunnel syndrome in both hands. Fascinating story. Really long, so we won't get into that. But what was I scared?

To let go of.

What was I gripping on to? What was I holding?

On for dear life for.

Right. These ideas, these ideals, for lack of a better word, these beliefs and concepts. You know what I was taught by society and generational patterns and religion and all the things, right. And then it doesn't really feel correct to me. So I have a lot of dissonance.

I'm gripping at things like trying to understand, trying to figure it out, trying to let go, trying.

To hold on.

So my hands.

Go. OK, we'll let you have it.

Cool. We'll just shut you.

Down now you're going to go rest. You're going to self-care. You're going to take care of yourself. You go to the hospital.

Get it? Get.

A little vacation at the hospital. They'll take care of you.

I've had carpal tunnel syndrome at different times in my life. I was when I was young I was a secretary and I we did a lot of typing was before the computers were a thing and.

It's mostly gone because when you're talking about hanging on to stuff and letting stuff go, I remember at the time all the things that were happening in my life and I really was just like trying to hang on to stuff, to, to keep everything going.

And I've reached a point.

As I reached the point in life where you.

Know. Just let it go.

The carpal tunnel went away and I have not had that problem since, and I didn't have surgery, so.

It's so fascinating. And you talk about neck pain and frozen shoulders and all these things that you know, I've had these experiences.

And I can think back and it's.

Like, Yep, Yep.

OK. Those were the same things.

So interesting how we can look at our bodies and.

And how intricate?

Our bodies are.

And how many messages they're trying to get through to us, but we just.

Haven't been taught.

How to listen?

And I like that you actually can help people listen to their bodies and get that message and and get healing.

Yeah, it's. It is a really fascinating career and.

I love it because just like you said.

When you change the pattern and behavior.

The pain doesn't have to bother you, it does. It doesn't have to be.

There anymore, but it is a warning.

Signal. It's like Jill.

What are you holding on to? Right. But we weren't taught that we weren't taught to decipher these messages or understand them. We were taught to alleviate the symptom. Get rid of the pain.

So here comes out the icy hot here comes out. The injection here comes out the medication, whatever it is.

But we're not getting to the.

Root cause of.

What actually created the pain and if we?

Can get to the root cause.

And we can begin to change the way that you're doing life.

Your body knows what to do. It is brilliant. It is magnificent. It is. It makes its own pharmacy.

It has an.

Intelligence far beyond what our logical brain can understand.

And if you do what's correct for your body.

Illness and disease do not come up.

And if something does happen, you heal so fast. I've seen clients that struggled with ailments for years and years and years, and then went a long time. They did really well. And then all of a sudden, like there's some grief or some trauma or something that happens and something's triggered.

But within a few days.

They're back into momentum again back into rotation.

So the idea is that.

You're not ever going to not get sick or never have pain, or we're human. We're in these meet suits. We're going in this experience, and there are things that are going to create some discomfort for us in life.

But when you have the tools and the resources and the understanding and you have it like once you have it, you don't lose it. It's always there. And so being able to activate that awareness whenever you need in real time, no matter what's going on in the universe or the society or.

In your house like.

It's fascinating.

The ability.

That we have to change the way we feel and create.

A different outcome for ourselves.

A lot of.

It starts just in your head. You know the things that you're thinking about because those create your emotions, your thoughts create your emotions and emotions actually trigger chemical responses in your body and your body starts doing stuff that you have no control over anything other than that thought that you allowed to.

Do something to you.

And just.

Getting in, getting in the habit or learning how to control what we're thinking about.

I think has a huge impact on our general health.

Yeah. Oh, I absolutely agree. I mean.

The thoughts are such a big.

Deal. The problem is most people don't know.

That they're just thoughts.

They actually believe that.

Their truth.

And when you?

Believe something. It's a different vibration than a thought, right? But absolutely the emotions are triggered. The chemical responses, the neurotransmitters, all this stuff goes through the body. Everything that's activated and there's a reaction. Very seldom have we been taught to respond to things.

Right. So that reaction then then gives us something and gives us this outcome or this result.

Or this end game.

If we knew how to regulate thoughts and emotions.

It would be much simpler.

But most of us.

Don't know how to do that, unfortunately.

Or. Yeah, for sure, or take into consideration that you don't have to react to everything that goes through your head.

You don't have to embrace it.

You don't have.

To have a thought about it.

Because we do have thoughts about our.

Thoughts. It's like oh.

This thing or something will trigger us and and and start the.

Loop this is.

Always happening or this never happens, or this person is this way or?

It's just like you can. It's OK to just let it.

Go to. Give yourself that permission, but so few of us are really able to do that.

On a regular basis.

Without having somebody help us to figure out how to do it consistently.

Yeah, I would have never been able to do this work on my own.

I would have probably gotten really far. I'm super smart like I really believe that I'm smart. I have a ton of knowledge, explicit and implicit, but I can't see my own unconscious. I can't see the mirror.

Of what's actually going on. The projection the reflection like I didn't have access to that and I was not taught to feel emotions as a child.

And I'm not doubting my parents. They didn't know any better, but they sent me to my room. When I cried, they didn't want to hear my cry.

If I started getting upset, it was. Don't be that loud. Go. Go. Do that somewhere else. So these little tiny bodies.

Are full of these emotions because we don't have a prefrontal cortex developed when we're young, right? So we're truly feelers who sometimes say words we don't really know.

How to think?

For lack of a better understanding. And so we're feeling things, but maybe we're not giving permission to feel. Or maybe it's not appropriate, or maybe even you should be ashamed.

Give that to your brother.

Or you took the last cookie or the toy or whatever it is, right? So we're taught what we're supposed to feel.

But good girls and boys do.

And it's not, yeah. Yeah, it's not OK to express, you know, and and be heard. And so imagine, again, these things just kind of pushing back down.

Whoever they are.

Into this little storage.

Locker and as the body grows and the things feel familiar, you know so that we haven't really been taught how to feel emotions.

In fact, I didn't even know that there were so many emotions that that little circle behind me. That's an emotion wheel. There's, like, hundreds of emotions. I was like. You mean like happy or angry? Like, that's what I knew.

And I don't even know what it felt like to be happy. I had moments where I remember being a child and like, oh, that's that was happy. I think that was happy.

That was fun.

But I couldn't tell you how it felt. I couldn't describe what was actually going on, but anger, I knew anger.

I knew mad.

Because that's how.

I got attention when I would get mad. I would react and everybody would get quiet.

Or they would come see about me, right. And so again, these neural pathways are created. They're these, these Rd. maps are created to like this is what you do to get attention. This is what you do when you need something. And so that reactive state that a lot of people have. I've worked with a lot of clients that have really similar stories. So.

Yeah, I wish it was. I wish it was as easy to just flip the switch in the brain and just we're not gonna do this anymore. And we're gonna change these patterns and and lifes gonna be easy. But the reality is, it's really hard to do on your own. And it's really hard to do when you've had no concept or understanding of it or.

You can't even see.

It so.

Having someone to help guide me and hold.

That space in a really safe space.

Because I was.

Angry and I was hurt and I was traumatized. And so I didn't trust a lot of people, and I didn't really believe people when they said they were going to help because I had all this evidence from these other things that I had done over the years that really didn't help me get where I.

Wanted to get.

So that was a big deal for me.

Was just to.

Have that support.

In a different way that.

I had never been given before.

And you help people with this, but you help them both online and you also have a special massage technique that you use for in person. You're not sure about how both of those things look.

Correct. Yeah. So I have a practice online, so I can help people across the world. Doesn't matter what country you're in. I have people in Korea and Ireland and Norway and all over the world as well as in the States.

With me.

If they wanted to come spend a week, if they wanted.

To come as a group.

So all for in person retreats where I do all of this work through a few days in person, which is very powerful.

But my local people can just come get on.

My table.

So as a massage therapist and a craniosacral therapist and a somatic trauma specialist, I've pulled the best things from all my all my trainings, all my certifications, and I've made a blend of a nervous system.

Massage that's basically designed to put the body back into alignment so when the body is balanced, when the mind and.

The heart are.

Are being friends. Life is easy. Things go on. So I have physical techniques that I do.

I have practices that I am trained in.

But it was the integration of all the information together that made it my signature. So doing the coaching with the mind body work.

With the physical.

Work can also be done here in person, where I put my.

Hands on you move the tissue around. We talk about what's going on in your body. It is a magical experience like.

I had similar work done to me for years and I understand the benefit of it and.

I take a handful of clients at.

A time and we go through a series where we.

Work together for.

So many weeks. And then they kind of graduate and go into my membership or a different opportunity if they need it. And then I take another set of people and I kind of.

Do the same thing like that so.

And that's online or that's in person?

Both ways. So if you're local and you want to get on the table, you can definitely get it on my table. That is the massage where I incorporate the physical body work with the mind body coaching online. I work with people usually for about six months.

Some of my clients have been with me for years because we just keep moving through stuff and they've had such great results. But some people don't need that much time. So usually six month minimum is my requirement. We connect, we meet every week on the computer, I help you undo the patterns that have created the pain points.

And then integrate a new.

Way and then I have multiple ways to work with me online, so no matter what situation you're in, there's.

Usually a fit.

In one of the three ways that I work online as well.

Perfect. So how do people get ahold of you?

Yeah, you can go to YouTube. It's Monique, the mind body coach. Most of my social media handles are Monique, the mind body coach. You can look me up on Facebook that way. Instagram. That way. YouTube that way. My YouTube channel is complementary. There's tons of resources.

Information about this. If you just want to hear a little bit more, there's a form on there you can contact me. You can connect with me. We can do a consultation. I have a symptom tracker. If you want to track your symptoms and see if this work could.

Help you so.

Don't hesitate to reach out, this is this is all I do.

I only work with humans who want to heal physical pain in their body.

And move through past trauma.

It's an opportunity to connect, get some information, get some support, and if we're a good fit, we might do.

Some work together.

I’m sure you have ton of resources to for people that.

Just are interested in in what you're doing.

So what's the one thing you want to leave?

The audience with today.

The one thing that I would like to share is that.

I know this is a hard journey.

But healing is absolutely available. Your body knows exactly what to do.

And it is our mind.

That gets in the way.

Our mind is always trying to defend and protect.

And so the mind can't solve the minds problems.

So doing this on your own.

Is really difficult.

But if you have the support of someone or a community that understands this work and has gone through their own transformation and has the experience.

It is available.

And so I always say healing is a choice and I know that's hard to hear.

But we do have opportunity that's out there that we might have.

Never been exposed.

To and so be willing to be curious. Be willing to ask some questions. Throw away what you think you know about healing.

Because it is.

What we've been taught up to this point, and there's so much out there that we've not seen or heard. And as I began to really see those things and understand and acknowledge not just know.

But live it.

Everything began to evolve and.

I can't even say how grateful I am to live in this body suit now.

And to do life.

To go from being really young and being in chronic pain, to being into my 40s and being able to do things that my body could.

Never do before.

It's a miracle. Like it, it feels like a miracle, but it's actually mind body work and it is available for anyone that.

Needs the.

Help so.

Feel free to reach out connect, ask questions.

Just get curious.

Yeah. Getting curious, that's kind of the key to.

Key to, all of this stuff, and it's so nice.

That we don't have.

To depend on the old institutions that didn't really.

Solve the problem.

Or wouldn't give us answers to why we were experiencing the chronic pain that people can come to Someone Like You and and find answers.

And find healing is real.

That's what we all want. We don't want to just mask the symptoms. We want to be better.

Yeah, I believe that everybody wants to feel good. Like I believe that as humans, we want to feel good. And so if we can feel good, we do different. We live different and everything looks different around you, you know? So I see things now that I could never see before. And I'm again, I'm so appreciative of this work.

To have this.

Integration available for myself and to be able to help others now.

And it's changing the world.

Because you make one person feel better and they make the people around them feel better because they're not hurting anymore and it just ripples out and the world becomes a much better place.

Yeah, we're doing it one body at a time, but it is what I do and it's what I love. And I'm just. I'm honored. I'm truly honored to be a part of this work at this.

One body at a time.

Point in time so.

That's great. Thanks, Monique for joining us today.

Thanks so much, Jill.