Marita Rahlenbeck – Discovering the Quintessential Woman Within

Hi and welcome to the You World Order Showcase podcast. Today we have with us Marita Rahlenbeck

She is the.

Soul mentor and transformational coach and keeper of the Sacred. She's also the author of the book Living with Grace, a story of love and healing, leaving paw prints on the heart.

Of that.

She helps quietly unhappy women become bold, courageous and confident as they move to embody the quintessential woman. They are welcome to the show. Marita. I'm so glad that you joined me.

Thank you. I'm very excited.

To get to speak with you today.

It's been a while in coming.

We did, yes.

I can ask you how you got.

To where you're at, but.

I have a feeling that's going to be a really, really long story, OK, because you don't get to be where you're at.

Being able to help people become.

I don't know what quintessence. Yeah, I don't know why.

I struggle with that word so much. I love it.

When you're in your 30s.

Yeah, that's right. There's wisdom that comes along with the aging process, yes.

I don't know about you, but I found.

Being a Crone.

Is like the best time in life ever.

That you know the like. The older we get, the more we don't give.

You don't like it is what it is and you can like it or not. And life moves on.

Hope you catch up someday because.

I don't have enough.

Time to worry about you too.

So what is? What is it actually that you do? How? How do you help women?

Well, the essence of what I do is really.

I guide them.

To the deepest part of who they are.

And once they've accessed that part, it's kind of like life becomes easier.

I would, I don't.

Know how to describe that anymore and a lot of times people will they you know everybody.

We think we need.

This like this.

This is our problem.

And yet that problem is a symptom of something that.

They don't see.

And so we all have those blind spots, and we all need we sometimes we just need someone to reflect back, whether that's the girlfriends over wine at dinner or if it's a coach that's completely.

Unemotionally attached to anything or anybody going on, you know, with whatever's going on in.

Someone's life. We're not attached, and therefore we can be.

Far more objective.

And I find that once, once I.

Kind of pull.

Back the curtain or the veil.

It's easier to see like sometimes.

I'm looking for an answer to a solution. You know, I'm looking for a like to a problem and it's like I can see glimpses of it and it's just it's like I'm looking for that, that entrance into the whole thing, you know, and that's kind of what I provide.

No. And you know that.

There's an A doorway in there somewhere, and you're just, like, feeling around in the dark looking for the crack in the wall.

Yes, yes, it's very much like that when you're just.

You don't really know what you're looking for.

But you're looking for something.

Yeah, I love.

Your terminology quietly unhappy women there are.

So many of them.

There really are.

And I think it's.

It stems from.

Them us, you know, we accept.

What society says is normal acceptable put in.

Your little word there.

And we don't realize that we have the power to not do that.

And then all of a sudden, somebody illuminates the fact that you don't have to do it that.

Way you can do it.

This way or that way, or any way you want?

Just as long as there's movement, you know, and it's like we need permission sometimes to.

Do things differently than how we were taught or modeled how it was modeled to us.

Yeah, it's easy to get stuck in that trap, especially when you're.

When you're for women, but when you're just starting out and probably until you hit like your mid 40s.

I feel like women tend to just be on this treadmill that they were put on when they got right out of high school usually, and they're just like told this is this is the path you need to go down. You're a woman and you need to be educated and you need to have a job. But you also need to be responsible for raising a family.

And taking care of the family and everything about the family.

Is all your responsibility.

And but you got to work too.

Yeah, it's like, well, what else can we put on your shoulders to make it impossible to breathe?

Yeah. And then then you're out there trying to, like, get approbation from your parents because, you know, they had expectations for you. They could not possibly live up to because no one can do all those things.

And then you don't have time if you're raising kids. I don't know if you have kids or not, but I had five.

Kids and you're.

Raising kids and your world is wrapped up in in them and helping them get going and you kind of forget who you are if you ever even.

Knew who you were.

Well, that's a great point. Yeah. I have one daughter and I now have a grandson and.

And I've seen her.

Not have time for her girlfriend time.

Not have energy.

That's more of it.

I don't know which was.

More, but that's an element too, but.

Yes, uh, there's a huge.

Reality in?

When a huge a large significant life event happens, that changes everything in how we live, it naturally just changes.

Who gets our time? Because we have so little of it in relation to what needs to be accomplished.

Yeah, and usually it's the time that we would take to discover ourselves and, you know, people talk about meditation. Meditation comes in all kinds of forms. It could be exercise, it could be sitting quietly. It could be listening to music.

It's just whenever you can take time for yourself and not have to be thinking about.

Stuff that has to get done.

And groceries that need.

To be bought and kids schedules and how are?

They doing in.

School and this goes on and on and on.

And then there's work.

Yeah, right. Right.

How do these people find you normally?

Referral social media. Those are the primary ways, especially post COVID where networking.

It networking is a is an art and I feel like I had finally after a long time of networking I'd kind of mastered the.

Week and then we, you know, everything blew up. So finding people live and in person is a little more challenging nowadays, but those are. That's how people find me is or things like this, you know, like where I'm on a summit or on a podcast or that kind of a.

An event that changes the trajectory of somebody's life by hearing what we've.

Got to talk about here.

Interesting. So when you're when you're talking?

To your people.

What? What kinds of?

Things do you help them discover about themselves? How? How does that look?

Well, like I said, a lot of times.

It's really just.

Giving them a different perspective on what they think the problem is and providing options.

Or of action.

That they can take and I do like I don't like one off sessions because they're not.

They're not as powerful as what could happen if we have, like time, you know, and then I always wonder, like, did they implement or did they try it? Did they, you know, what happened when they did this? And so I really steer away from just the one offs. And I like, I like.

Having time with them so that not only.

Can they process?

What we've discussed, they can integrate it and then they can implement it and we can revisit it.

Like, how did it go? Did it work? Did it not work? Why? You know all of those kinds of things. And it's really just having and like having someone that's you're accountable to. You know, when there's money on the table that it, if it's a motivator like I paid you, I'm going to make damn sure I'm getting my money's worth, you know, and not like.

Provide me the value you have to show up in equal kind, right?

But when there when there is that exchange of.

Of that, this, this.

Is an investment of my finances in exchange for your coaching, your mentorship, your help, your ideas, all those kinds of things that you're just naturally more inclined to take it seriously.

And actually implement.

And if it's. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like, it's like, why bother? I mean, I just.

You can tell people.

I was reflecting with someone online. She posted something about.

Uh, you know people. Someone who wanted that advice and then didn't heed it. And I'm like, and like I just had the same kind of thing, except every idea like they come and they want ideas, like in a private group, for instance. Right.

And they want ideas, and every idea they throw down with some excuse. It's like, well, then don't ask for ideas. If you've thought of everything.

And everything that is being suggested to you is not a good idea. It's like there was no openness to receiving.

Anything, so I don't. I was like, uh, we're done. I don't need this.

And therein is the reason why you should tell people what and not how.

Exactly, yes, exactly. And I don't think I even paid house, but like every oh God, it does not even worth the frustration. So yeah.

And not everybody's in the same spot. You know, sometimes people just aren't in a receiving.

Vibration and it.

You know they're.

They have so many other things going on around them that they can't get still enough.

Yeah, true.

To receive and often they don't even recognize it. They're just like.

Going through the motions and burning out and they don't even know they're on fire.

Right, right.

Which is kind of.

Sad. So you also do essential.

Oils and you've been at it for a really.

Long time, another first.

I have. I'm in night.

My 24th year with Young Living stumbled upon it.

You know, 24 years ago it was like really far fetched and you are not this lady. When I started, I mean, I just. I'm a very much an early adopter and I tend to like cannonball myself into the pool.

Brand new.

Like can you visualize that like I was all in?

And I loved what I was learning, and I loved the changes that I was experiencing in my life.

And the founder, Gary Young, blew me away with his.

He had.

Educated knowledge and wisdom and.

I was a.

Reading literature, art.

Kind of student. When I was in.

High school or all through school?

And keep me out of science. Keep me out of math. Keep me out of all of that. And in the early days with Young Living.

Convention was all about science. It was all about biology, chemistry. We were required.

If we wanted to get some kind of certification, which we don't, they don't offer that anymore and everything changed back in 10 years ago.

But we were required to learn like the Latin.

Names of the essential oils.

Like who does that, you know?

And who cares?

Yeah. Well, but you know, the interesting thing is when you understand, like my mother was a, she was a.

Now we would say an herbalist.

She was from Germany and she studied it back then. What she studied it was considered pharmacology.

So Latin comes in pretty handy.

When you know the basics of the basics.

Of it.

And so lots has changed in the industry. Of course, there's been lots of copycats and lots of adulteration and, you know, a $3 bottle of essential oil on an end cap is not going to do what, what the oils do for real when they're real. But yeah, it that was definitely a hugely pivotal moment.

In my life and.

It served me very well.

That's awesome. We're talking about the lavender fields they have in in Utah, down by the border.

Before you're going into Arizona, it was.

There, I love lavender to begin with. It's one of my favorite flowers and fragrance is it. It's just like, do you ever see the movie? My big fat Greek?

OK.

Oh, it's been a very long while.

And you know how the.

Father had the Windex that he squirted on everything.

That was his.

Lavender oil is my Windex.

Ah, got it. OK.

I have seen it do so many amazing things. Nothing short of miraculous. I have this friend who she actually established a an essential oils company.

She's been going longer than Young Living.

Has been around.

It's butterfly express and I know you probably have never heard of.

It because.

It's here in Idaho and a little tiny town, but.

She's an interesting woman and gosh, she's been like.

17 years ago, her husband had a gas tank blow up in his face.

3rd degree burns over his face for sure. His face, like literally, was on fire and his whole torso, and they didn't have insurance health insurance. He never went to the doctor. She nursed him totally back to health using lavender oil.

I believe that I really do believe that.

You can't tell he's ever been burned.

To look at him, he doesn't have any scars. His facial hair is growing back. It's like.

That was amazing, my son. Another experience with essential oils. He was blind in one eye and he was out fooling around the campfire and stepped into it.

And had an ember, a big ember.

He had this.

It was a third degree burn and it was all the way down past through the skin and it was open and charred and really ugly. And I put.

This miracle salt and lavender oil on it and again you can't tell he was ever burned. We don't know which leg it was anymore.

And we're talking like a six inch.

Patch of skin on his thigh that were or on his.

Calf. That was.

It's very exciting when you when you have that kind of experience because it really does show you the wisdom from.

The Ancients, I mean this goes back so far and one time the year that Young Living introduced, it's called lava derm. It's a spray.

Is for after like Sun or whatever. You know it's a spray lavender and Garry's on stage and he takes a lighter.

And he burns his finger like on purpose, and then sprays that on there. And he was fine. But like, he was quite a maverick. He just.

He did crazy things, but that's what kept him so.

Yeah, it's probably why they came out with all those rules about what you can say about essential oils, because pharmaceutical companies just came on glue when people started realizing, you know, you could use essential oils to do quite a few things in your life. I.

OK.

Know that.

Calendly UM, it's a.

How meal you mean?

It's Michael. Angela, it's.

No, it's a. It's a.

Big broad leaf. It. It's good for healing.

Bones and muscles.

Come free. I've gotta grow it in my yard.

But I've seen that.

Do some amazing things too. Make it into a anointment and.

That arctica oils another thing that's.

They're just, they're herbs.

There was one a friend of mine, he was sick and then, you know. Then I called Doctor Marita. Right. And I said well, do you have I don't remember what blend it was. It was a blend of some oil and he goes said yeah and I'm like well put it in a capsule and take it he's like well is that safe I'm like well let's look at the ingredients and I read all the ingredients of whatever.

It was, and they were.

All herbs or spices it's like.

You like.

If you.

You could eat them.

Then it's safe.

Yeah, there, there was a time when people actually like went in their yards and they picked stuff and they brought it in the house or gathered stuff and they cooked it and that's what they ate. People think if it doesn't come out of a grocery store or pharmacy that it's not at.

That's true. That's true.

I love the summer time when you can just go out in the yard and pick stuff and we have very little grass in.

Our yard, but we.

Have so many great weeds that are so yummy.

That are not weeds. They're plants, right?

They are plants. They're just very.

Yeah, I'm having trouble with word today.

They grow profusely.

Ah yes.

Prolific. That's the word I was trying to.

Come up with.

Maybe I need some kinko.

So do you work?

Mainly one-on-one with people or do.

You work in groups with them.

That's a great question in that I am moving away from the one-on-one and I want to start working more with groups, not only to leverage my time, but there is a lot of.

Beauty in working with a group because.

My question or my experience can impact and influence the entire group.

And the same for everybody there. And so there's a lot that collective wisdom is.

Really quite powerful to put yourself into and then they you form relationships and so it's not.

Just this this.

Not just somebody looking only at me for.

Whatever you know for the answer for ideas.

That kind of thing. But other people can reflect back and other people can offer ideas and potential solutions and that.

Makes it quite compelling, so I'm in the process of working that into my offerings.

That's awesome. I love groups that it, it really is the place where the magic happens. It's people ask questions that you don't even think.

Yeah, I would agree.

Of like wow.

I wish I.

Had asked that question and so you get you get way more value out of any session that you have?

Yeah, I would agree with.

That, especially when you.

Like round Robin, like everybody like, this is my thing. I want to work on today and then everybody has a has something to say.

And you then you get that many different ideas.

So and you.

Have to embrace everyone of them. You can just like, sit with it and see what feels like it's.

What resonates with you and what resonates?

With you might.

Not be what resonates for this other person, but both of your answers.

Or the perfect answer for you that you don't really get one and a one-on-one situation you only get.

The one.

The one idea, and usually it it's an idea that you have to come.

Up with yourself, because that's what coaches.

Are really all about.

Yeah, right, exactly.

So it's nice to get to experience other people's ideas of what's.

What's interesting or what they think might work?

So how did you? How did you? What led to you writing the book?

The book grace.

The book is called.

Living with Grace and grace is.

It's multifaceted and that that was the.

Name of my Kitty.

And she, in fact, the anniversary of her death, was just a few days ago and.

The like the closer that she came to death.

The more.

Like spiritually aware, she became.

And she kept saying, we're going to write a book. Mom, we're going to write a book. And I kept saying, I don't know how to write.

A book, grace. I don't you know, whatever. But then we wrote a book.

And so it was really just, it was grace. It was her idea.

It was a journey, it was a just a very.

Difficult journey for both of us for me to midwife her through life.

In you know to the other side and then for her, she was a rescue cat.

And she'd been left. She'd been hit by a truck and left for dead.

And I go into all of that stuff in the book, but which, by the way, is out of print, cause my publisher went bankrupt. So I have that to deal with that next. You know, this next year I want to rewrite it and add kind of some nuances to it, but she was hit by a truck left for dead. Somebody drove by.

And then as she drove by, Grace actually had the strength to lift her head.

And the woman came back and brought her to a vet.

I don't have a.

I don't have a photograph of her, but.

This is this is her.

And she lost an eye, and she had a funny little walk.

She had a lot of distrust. Imagine that, right? I mean, if I got to hold her for 90.

Seconds it was.

All big deal.

And toward the end of her life, like I, the day that I took her into the hospital.

It was like a.

Two hour wait and almost that entire time I was holding her.

So something happened. You know, I'm this Virgo German. I'm going to drop her off at the hospital and it's going to be fine.

Well, it was packed.

And I didn't get to.

Drop her off. I had to.

Wait for a very long while.

And during that wait is, I think when she realized that I like, finally kind of realized.

I wasn't going anywhere and I was the real deal, and she could trust me.

And all those kinds of things.

So that's what led to the book.

Well, yeah, it's really quite a story.

It's amazing how animals imprint on us.

And on our hearts, they.

Have lots of animals we.

Had four rescue kittens. Our my son.

Accidentally killed their mom at work and there were four kittens and he they fit in like the palm of his hand. All four of them. And he, they I don't even know that their eyes were actually open at that point, but he put them in his pocket and he brought him home.

Oh my goodness.

And he said.

Hey, mom.

I got these kittens. So sister and I, who was? I think Sarah was maybe 9 at the time.

We bottle fed these kittens. Wow. And we kept them alive, and two of them have passed, but we still have two, and they've been around.

For five or six years now.

Yeah, they they're.

They're really interesting cats. They have such.

They're so unique. All animals are so unique. They each have a personality and.

They're just like.

They're really a blessing in our lives, but.

You know.

I get the whole.

Some of them you can hold and some of them you can't.

We have another one who's?

We thought it was going to be an outside cat, but he comes in and.

He hides in my daughter's room sometimes and he hides in the closet sometimes. He won't go upstairs.

He doesn't. We have this new puppy and he could care less about the puppy. He's the only one of the cats that are just like, no, he's not going to hurt me. He's just big and dumb. I think he's just afraid of Alex, the female cat that we have because she's like, this is my house and you all are just here. Because I'll.

Let you be here.

She's a character.

You want to talk a little bit about your 4.

Important keys to live.

Life on purpose and embody your true nature.

Well, you know.

What I'd like to do instead is because we did talk about the book I have, I have called I have a free gift.

That they're, they're called grace notes. And they're it's a curated little booklet of quotes from the book.

And I think that given that we've talked about the book that makes, that makes a lot of sense, so.

I what?

I've done is I've just taken some beautiful, like grace was a very wise being.

And I worked with an animal communicator.

A lot, especially.

When you know when she was sick, when she was whatever I worked with her. It's like, that's How I Met this lady. Because in the very beginning, Grace was like.

She was not having, like, not having it. She was naughty and I was like, I can't live with this. I won't live with this. I don't have to live with this. And so I dropped in on animal communicator and Kristen.

Always was blown away. She's like that cat is so wise.

She had her own relationship with Grace, so I would love to offer that to your audience because of the depth that we did go into with the book.

Yeah, I would love that. And you'll send me.

A link for people too.

And we'll put that in.

The show notes.

So people can get in touch with.

You and is that.

The best way for people to get in touch with you or should they go to your website.

Ohh welcome to go to my website. It's always it's always evolving as we all are and thing like you can get to know me a little bit better on the website and who knows what you might find there because I'm in the midst of updating it. But yes, you can go to harmonic wholeness.

There's a contact if you want to reach out to me. Uh, find me on social. I'm on Facebook and Instagram, YouTube channel. I'm wanting to get that more consistent, but yeah.

Awesome. Well, what's the one thing?

You want to leave the audience?

With or you hope they.

Take away from this conversation today.

You know, I think it goes.

Back to grace. It's like, give yourself some grace.

It's so hard.

To do that, it's not easy in that way, or it's way easier to, like, beat yourself up about all the things that went wrong rather than the one thing that went right. And that's where, well, this the one time actually that Grace said. Give yourself some damn grace. I mean, she was like, really emphatic. Give yourself some damn grace.

And that I think that is something that to keep it.

Front and center of your mind when things are not going.

The way that you'd.

Like is just to remember that.

Just call on grace.

And that's the beauty of the book too.

Because it that there.

Are points in the book where you don't know if I'm talking.

About the cat.

Or if I'm talking about the state.

Of being grace.

And which is kind of cool, you know, because you can take it both ways depending.

On where you're at.

But yeah.

I love that. Thank.

You so much, Marita, for joining me today. This has been a really great conversation.

Steve, you having me very much. Thank you.