Freedom Through Choas – Choosing Happy Now

Jackie Cote, who is the freedom mentor, she’s dedicated to empowering people to live a life of freedom and adventure. And full time rv’er! Jackie joined us to talk about the concepts of freedom and adventure.

You can learn more about working with Jackie here: Home – Jackie Cote Coaching

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Transcript

Hi and welcome to the You World Order Showcase Podcast we have with us today, Jackie Cote. She is a special guest and a kindred spirit. I can tell already she's the Freedom mentor and she's dedicated to empowering people to live a life of freedom and adventure. She is a full time RV.

00:00:21

And she's coming to us from her garage just talking about that. And the fact that they were. It's really she's in a toy hauler.

00:00:24

Right, right.

00:00:32

And the toy hauler part? They tried to put a car in there. So you once you tell that part of the story, and then we'll talk about.

00:00:39

Yeah, yeah. We when this all happened in COVID when we were like, we couldn't travel with. Actually another way to travel and we ended up getting and researching and getting an RV. But we wanted the one that had the porches. So a toy Hauler is a fifth wheel that attaches to a truck, and it has a porch on the back, but this one has a side porch as well. And the side.

00:00:58

Which is where like is my office like in the good weather whenever we're in nice weather, but the back is an actual garage and they call it a toy hauler to put toys like, you know, 4 by fours and motorcycles. But we wanted to fit a car into it so, but we needed a four door car so that my husband could do Uber and Lyft driving on the travels and make money.

00:01:19

Is mine's a virtual visit.

00:01:20

This but you put that man behind a computer. It's not a pretty sight. So we got him like he does the Uber lifting.

00:01:26

We tried to fit a mini 4 door mini and it was like 2 inches. We were in like the car shop measuring the mini and like we're researching, Googling and and the guys like what are you guys doing? We're like we're trying to fit this in the back of an RV. He's like, how do you do that? But it didn't work. But thank God it didn't work cause I do believe everything happens for exactly the reasons it's supposed to.

00:01:44

Stop in and now we drive separate. I drive a four door Ford. He drives the truck and the rig and I we don't we don't enjoy the same things while driving. He loves his classic rock and roll for eight hours straight and never changes the channel. Me I'm like podcast call a friend listen to a book. I'm like AD.

00:02:04

Child of like You Know, Entertainment and so we are still we are now married, we weren't married. We started the journey. We are now married. I think because we drive separate vehicles.

00:02:16

I totally hear you. With that, I drove with my husband. We were truck drivers, so we drove long haul across the country and he drove nights and I drove days. But if we had to, like, spend time together, like sitting together while we're traveling, it is really hard because.

00:02:35

Yeah, yeah.

00:02:37

I like listening to podcasts and educational stuff and books, and sometimes I'll listen to music, but I like, you know, different kinds of music than he does. He's a classic rock guy, too, and it's just like.

00:02:50

Kicking my head hurts.

00:02:51

Just like.

00:02:54

Even better, the hair bands he found a.

00:02:57

Adelaide Music Hair band station.

00:02:59

And I'm like honey, like we do 30 minute 45 minute drives down to the Canyon, cause we're in the middle of nowhere, Colorado now, and we'll do the drive and he's got his hair band and he's.

00:03:09

Like every song sounds alike, honey like really. So I do get my country station every now and then or my class or my pop or my, you know, everyday music or my or 80s music. I do get that every now and then we we alternate we do compromise. But for eight hours straight we could not do that. So we like each other because we drive.

00:03:31

People need space, too. And when you're living in a tiny environment like all the time, if you don't have your own interests and time away from each other, even if it's driving, I think that it.

00:03:48

You just it's really hard to make that kind of a relationship work long long term, especially if you're planning on living this lifestyle along time.

00:03:59

Yeah, I I've met couples who both work from online businesses, and they'll literally be like side by side on computers in there, like Airstream, which is a lot smaller than ours. Ours is 44 feet long. And me, I'm like, honey, if I'm working at home, you're going out and doing something like whether you're working or you're going doing the running the errands.

00:04:20

But like at the same time, we just want to meet, treat it like an everyday life. Like you're going to work. I'm going to work and we do take a ton of time together. Like we get a lot. We like, we get that because we've created that.

00:04:31

Now so that we could take.

00:04:33

Time whenever we choose to. But outside of that, we need that you got your life. I got my life and we got our life together.

00:04:41

Yeah, we have to do that. You know, we were. I was telling you, we have a kind of a smaller home and, you know, my husband's retired, but he he has things that he does. And I have an office open the door and, you know, I you can't spend your whole life 24/7.

00:05:02

Living each other's lives together.

00:05:06

No, and that's, I would say when people ask me whenever people ask, they go. What's the thing that you know keeps you guys happy and that's it. That's exactly what you what you touched on is like you got to have.

00:05:18

Your separate lives and your lives together your separate interests time together time separate and be intentional on both ends. Be intentional. What you design for yourself. Be intentional. You know he's very simple. He doesn't have to go out. Be with friends. He's not really that like he's a very simple man. But I need that I desire that. And so I go and travel and fly places.

00:05:38

From the RV and do my own traveling outside of the RV.

00:05:41

And UM, you know, and he will maybe go fishing.

00:05:45

Or maybe he went skiing today like I I. It's funny. I forced.

00:05:48

Him. I'm like, go.

00:05:49

Go skiing. Go do stuff because I want him to, you know, live a life that he truly enjoys too, and and then we get together and we're intentional about our.

00:05:58

Time together too.

00:06:00

And you have different things.

00:06:01

To talk about when you're when you're not doing stuff like that.

00:06:05

Then you you end up.

00:06:08

It's how couples end up watching television for the rest of their life because they they stopped doing stuff. They stop having adventures by themselves and together and they don't have things to talk about.

00:06:12

Right.

00:06:23

I can't tell you. I can't tell that we haven't been there. We have been there in.

00:06:26

Those moments where, like and I'm.

00:06:28

I like to conversate that's why I do things with wonderful people like you on.

00:06:32

Podcasts like I.

00:06:34

Like to have conversations and there's time where I'm like.

00:06:38

Silently looking at him going.

00:06:40

OK. What we talk about next and he's fine with not it's it's it's I call him the call to my crazy. You know I was the you know super active social like talkative like what's there any other he taught me how to it's interesting he taught me how to be more.

00:07:01

Talk about being and doing.

00:07:03

And he taught me the being more of.

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It's like.

00:07:06

Just enjoy the moment, you know, and the first time he told me to relax, I.

00:07:10

Wanted to like kill him, but I was like, don't tell me to relax, you know? And and I realized, no, that he's right. And then I got him more in the active like social side of things and not, you know, not like people.

00:07:27

It's so interesting. I mean, I think we attract the opposite a lot of times.

00:07:31

In relationships.

00:07:33

For sure I I know my husband's that same way. Like I'm. I'm more of the I go out and meet people and do stuff and and he.

00:07:44

He's not. He wasn't like that for a long time. I used to think he was kind of socially awkward, but since he's retired and he's he goes, he loves the gym so he can walk to the gym from our house. So he goes to the gym every day and he goes to the hot tubs by himself because he realized that he doesn't have to have Mommy come along, he can do things by himself.

00:08:06

He learned to go grocery shopping. He was a truck driver for a million years. I mean, so he's got an excuse. He would only be home for like, 3 or four days a month for a lot of our marriage. And so I did everything, you know, all the bills, all the shopping. When he came home, it was just like King King Jeff has come home, let's you know, all bow down and do everything.

00:08:26

More, but you know when you're home all the time that.

00:08:30

That's just not happening. You gotta make your side of the bed. I'm.

00:08:33

Sorry dude.

00:08:35

I love it. I love it. I did not. They would get along by the way, cause mine loves to drive like he loves to drive. He drives buses right now in Colorado. It's a nine month contract. This is the first time we've been stationary for a while and he'll drive over Lyft.

00:08:51

Like he just loves being that like being a driver and doing things in that capacity. So I think they'd have probably have a very good conversation.

00:09:00

Probably my husband loved truck driving. I loved truck driving. I got him into it cause I always wanted to drive a big rig.

00:09:08

In fact, I got.

00:09:08

Oh, that's so awesome.

00:09:08

My my first real drivers license that I actually passed, like all the tests and everything for.

00:09:15

Was driving a an 18 Wheeler when I got my CDL. Before that I I failed a test and then we moved so I didn't have to take the driving test and then we moved again and I had to take the driving test and I failed that and my boyfriend at the time had talked them into passing me. They said I was just really nervous, which I was.

00:09:38

So that was, yeah, it was really fun. So you are a freedom mentor. Do you? Do you teach people how to live a lifestyle? What? How?

00:09:38

I think that's super cool.

00:09:50

Yeah, yeah. You know, it's funny being that being that I live in an RV like at the question of like, does it have to be like, sell everything and move in an RV? I'm like, no, that's not. That's one version of a freedom lifestyle. Yeah. And we will settle down one day and we're actually looking to possibly purchase an RV park and build that out and then build our home on there and all that stuff. It's one of our vision boards.

00:10:09

Vision, vision, things. But when it comes to the freedom life, it's really.

00:10:15

About I've met a lot of women in women's my main market, but I do work with men as well and that have worked like 20-30 years or doing something for the same thing for this long and have that title of like this job, this wife, this this mother, you know, and and then go, huh? I don't feel fulfilled. They're unhappy. Maybe they've created success and money.

00:10:36

That they're not enjoying the life that they're living, and I'm really all about helping you design the life that you really want to live.

00:10:42

Through that awakening, that vision and and and really letting yourself dream for you and and fitting the success, the money, all the other titles into the life that you desire. And I think we were taught. We're taught opposite, you know. We'll grow up it's like get a good job get salary get benefits. I always thought that I was the one I was the one.

00:11:02

Kid out of eight of us.

00:11:04

I didn't like get the good job. I mean, I got a restaurant career, you know, to of 30 years of management. So it was a good job, but.

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It wasn't your.

00:11:11

Standard typical. I got my degree. I didn't use it. My brothers all. Did. You know, they all did their thing and.

00:11:18

And they all stayed in Jersey and I left like immediately and traveled the country. And and and I did that before all of this RV stuff. So I've always had this freedom theme. And the way I've lived my life, you know, I chose careers that would get me to travel around for for eight, like, so I did restaurant openings for Starbucks.

00:11:38

And for.

00:11:39

Potbelly sandwich company and Cava Mediterranean restaurant. And so I I did, I did management leadership, which is a gift of mine, is to be able to see what people can't see and hold it up for them and help them get to that next level. And then and the other side of it being able to see how to create more freedom in your life. There's time. Freedom, money, freedom, location, freedom. And it's funny when I.

00:11:59

I say that to people like the restaurant industry has no freedom. Like you work 24/7 nights, weekends and I was like, yeah, you're right. And I did and.

00:12:08

I was the manager who said I know my contract says 55 hours a week, but we got it done in 45, so we're.

00:12:13

Going to leave now. You know, we're the ones who like we would. I would be able to see how we could get it done more efficiently and and get a life, you know and and make and keep a life for my managers that worked for me and.

00:12:24

The people that I promoted so.

00:12:28

Yeah, that's that's the passion of mine now. And a lot of people that come to me really want to move from that.

00:12:32

20-30 year I've been doing what I should be doing and shift into the I really want to do what I'm meant to be doing.

00:12:39

And a lot of times that is shifting into entrepreneurship. Sometimes it's just shifting into a different career completely, but still in the career world, but where you get freedom of of of complete remote, you got the higher money, pay you location you you know you got the choice to go where you want to go.

00:12:59

And I've had a couple people stay in careers but create more freedom within the career, and then most people, they develop those side things that put them into a freedom life so.

00:13:09

They can exit.

00:13:11

The career world into entrepreneurship, but I will tell you and you probably met a lot of people doing what you do.

00:13:17

There a lot of people go into business and then they get tethered to it and then the same the same treadmill of life and don't have a life. And I've met them and excuse me, help them create a life and and. And I always say what you got to release and let go of and stop. What are the shoulds that you feel like you're doing right now that you need let go. So you can have life.

00:13:37

That you desire.

00:13:39

So, and that's all in the empowerment part of my work. So I call about awakening empowering and owning who you are so that you can.

00:13:44

Have a life desire.

00:13:47

I like that. I like that a lot. And I you're right. It's so easy to get trapped back into the work mentality. That and as an entrepreneur, it's worse because you're you're constantly like, oh, I should be doing this. And I should be doing that. And I need to be doing this other thing and oh, I can't possibly do something fun for myself or I can't spend money on.

00:14:09

And something that I'm just gonna enjoy for the sake of enjoying it rather than.

00:14:14

Ohh I need to.

00:14:14

Plow that back into my business and.

00:14:17

And having good boundaries for yourself. I mean, we talk about boundaries with other people, but you need to have your boundaries with, you know, that brain up there.

00:14:27

So I want you.

00:14:28

Yes. Ohh my gosh.

00:14:28

To do all these.

00:14:29

Things like. No, no. This is our time. We're not doing that.

00:14:35

Oh my gosh, that is you hit it on the nose and it it all comes down to when I talk about freedom. Like I, there's the tangibles of like time, money, location and those kind of things. But the freedom is the true free.

00:14:48

Them is when you, uh, really enjoy one being with yourself because I did not until I was 47. Let me just put that there. But like really love who you are, who you're being the time like spending time with you and being with you and then honoring that. So when you talk about those boundaries of like self empowering.

00:15:08

Like the Nos. The yeses, the yes to what you desire, not what everybody else says you should the Nos. To the things that no longer don't align with you and you're like and you know when they don't. But we just ignore that feeling. Right. Like, you know, when they got the resistance to it and you're like I should say no. But you know, I should.

00:15:25

Say no and and say yes to self and say no to the thing that.

00:15:28

I don't apologize for it.

00:15:31

Yes. And that's so funny. You say that cause I say awake and apparent own who you are, unapologetically in the world.

00:15:39

Because we're most of the times when we don't, you're spot on most of the times when we don't aren't like doing something, that's because we didn't give ourselves permission.

00:15:50

Give yourself permission.

00:15:53

And and you can tell people no and you don't have to explain why you're saying no and you don't have to apologize for saying no. You can just own it. No, not doing that.

00:16:03

Complete sentence No is a complete sentence.

00:16:07

It's a complete sentence.

00:16:10

And you can say yes to things that you really want to do that you desire in your life, and it may take some maneuvering in order for you to accomplish it. But really, you can do anything you want to do.

00:16:25

There are no limits except between your ears.

00:16:31

Put it out there, own it. And as these as things come up that you see are like.

00:16:33

Speaking my language.

00:16:40

Giving you indications that more is coming.

00:16:44

You just need to like recognize it and and be happy for it and you know, encourage more to come and more will show up. And before you know it, that's why people they put up vision boards and.

00:16:58

And they don't look at them for a long time and they go back and look at them. And they're like, oh, got that got that got that got that. That's part of my life. That's part of my life. That's part of my life. It's because you spent some time thinking about it and and really getting into the feeling of it while you were putting the board together. And even if you never looked at it again.

00:17:19

Stuff it just kind of comes along because your brick works on it.

00:17:23

Yes, yes, yes, yes. And that's why the first step in like my process in the process of of any change is really the awareness of the vision and the awareness of your desires. And there's so many times I've I've come into a relationship with somebody where it's hard to vision like because of the world that you've lived, the life that you've.

00:17:45

You know, I had this one woman who had a very sick child for a while, and so she was very much in the moment in the day. And she's like, I can't. I can't think of tomorrow because she might not be here and that just.

00:17:54

Doesn't. So she?

00:17:55

Had to very much be in the moment to to and so when I got to her it was scary, like it was the unknown to vision for more than what is just right now and today. So it's understandable because our brain wants to keep us safe.

00:18:07

You know, love, safety and belonging, the foundational of everything that you know what we do and most of the time when we're like, why don't I want to do this wonderful thing? It's because it's unknown to you and it's not safe to your brain. But when you do that vision board to your point and you do the vision and you step into the things like you, you let yourself, like we said earlier.

00:18:27

Give permission to yourself to dream and division and to play. Oh my gosh, play is so important and having fun is so important. But when you let yourself do that, your brain's like alright. You know, Jill believes this. So I'm going to go to work.

00:18:41

To her, and this is part of her picture, I related to this when we were kids, we were fearless, right? We had this like I'm a dancer. I'm a choreographer. I'm a this. I'm a chef. I'm a doctor. I could.

00:18:55

Do all the things.

00:18:56

Like I and we were fearless and we didn't care what people thought. I mean, I was not an answer.

00:19:02

But I thought I was and we do like we I'm gonna age myself, but abracadabra by Steve Miller Band, you know, and we'd create this, like, amazing dance, and we'd do it for our family with no shame.

00:19:13

Right. And then life happens, right? And all of a sudden. Oh, I'm not a good dancer because we don't want to be judged and we want to belong. And we don't look stupid and. And so suddenly it's not safe to dance because someone made fun of somebody or you made made you of you, whatever. And so.

00:19:29

When we can get back to that childlike way of being, when we were so.

00:19:35

Perfect. And we, we we still are, but we don't.

00:19:38

Believe that and and and really get into that place where and you said it earlier, you said the word feel.

00:19:45

You said when we can feel what it is that we truly desire, I do this activity once a month for free on the 4th Thursday of every month, and it's called speaking to your future desires from a done place.

00:19:56

So we go around and we talk about the desires and then we take about 30 to 45 minutes and we speak into each other's dreams from a done place. We're like, Oh my gosh, you remember when you were saying that you wanted last year in 2024, you want to be the number one podcast for blah, blah blah topic, you know, an area well, you have blown that away and now you're number one in three different areas.

00:20:16

And blah blah blah.

00:20:17

And international and this and that and and we speak into like and you were talking on the stage over in Italy and and we had that retreat we were together and we're speaking into it and then you're feeling it cause everybody's faces are like wall smiling and enjoying it.

00:20:33

And then you leave there. And like you said, you might never speak about it again. But.

00:20:37

It starts to happen.

00:20:39

It just starts to show up because you've given possibility to the brain to be true.

00:20:43

Things your brain starts to see. Oh, if I do that or if I.

00:20:48

Take part in.

00:20:49

This then it it just moves you a little bit closer to it and you may not even be conscious of the fact that it's moving you towards the thing that you just spoke into existence.

00:21:00

Except that.

00:21:02

It feels right. There's something about it that's just like ohh it it just it allows you to catch it.

00:21:08

To catch your attention. Yeah, it's kind of magic.

00:21:12

No it.

00:21:14

And now it is well, and here's how I I I look at it this way, this is a way that because because sometimes.

00:21:20

The the woo.

00:21:21

Woo or like the energy and the like, the all that stuff can like, really lose people when they haven't been in this world for long enough. Because I remember when I first started, I was like the universe has my back. What do you mean like, you know, wait, hold on a second. Like I someone's got my back that I cannot see.

00:21:37

And that's, you know, faith in God and whatever you believe in. And so. But the one thing that really kind of made it understandable to my to my brain, to to my science side, if you wanna call it whatever. Have you ever like got so worried about something? Well, we we have three places we can live. We've got the past that we.

00:21:40

No, we didn't leave.

00:21:56

Cannot change.

00:21:57

But we have true, like we've experienced it. So the brain knows it's true that we could have, you know, this negative thing, this negative thing, this negative, whatever these things happen. I don't see anything as negative, but I'm just.

00:22:08

Using as an example.

00:22:09

But then there's this other place that we can live in the future.

00:22:12

Worries and I've watched myself and others get so so like into the worry that it's true. I've watched people go into anxiety and land in the hospital over the anxiety of what it is that they think it could happen. And our brain is that powerful with the imagination.

00:22:29

It can go powerfully into so one of my clients, daughters, went to abroad and they had to like, set all phone service off so she could.

00:22:37

But very close to her kids and she could not talk to her daughter and she was in Africa. And so she went to the anxiety of, like, I can't control, I don't know. And boom, boom. And she ended up in the hospital, over it. She got into and she thought she was having, like, a heart attack. It was just all anxiety and put him. But I was like, think about that. You felt the story was so true that your daughter was going to get sick.

00:22:57

Kidnapped whatever it was that you were going down that your body shut down.

00:23:02

We can do the same for the third place to live, and that's in the visions and the desires. So if our brain gets so.

00:23:08

So, so real in the imagination of what's could go wrong. It could also what could go right and what could you really desire? So let me ask like anyone listening, like, where do you really want to live, do you?

00:23:20

Wanna live in the past you can't control.

00:23:22

The future worries, I mean the past. You can't change the future worries you can't control, or the future desires that are just so much more fun.

00:23:30

To create and be in that imagination and let your brain know and your body know.

00:23:34

It's true.

00:23:35

Back to the feeling, by the way.

00:23:37

You can feel.

00:23:39

You you feel the future.

00:23:42

And it becomes the President, and you can change the past.

00:23:48

All you have to do is change what you think about the things that happened. Truth is, truth is relative. It's relative to whatever you want to remember it as.

00:24:00

When it comes to past history, it's like.

00:24:05

Just tell yourself a better lie is more sad.

00:24:08

Well, what? Yeah, like you like, what meaning do you put to?

00:24:11

It it's your choice.

00:24:12

It's your choice. You can you can totally rewrite any relationship you had any event that you experienced and you could make it, you know, maybe you're remembering it as this horrible thing, but if you could find even just one thing about it that was really amazing, that that really did change the trajectory of your life.

00:24:33

If it involves other people.

00:24:34

It'll change your relationship with them and it will change how they remember the situation too, so it's like you can change the past and you can definitely create whatever future you want.

00:24:47

Yes, love it. Love it. There's something that I learned in this journey of around positive intention that's similar to what you're talking about. It's like everything that's happened to us. It's happened for us, not to us.

00:25:00

And there's a positive intention that links back to love, safety and belonging.

00:25:04

That like let's say, a negative example negative relationship between you and your parent of some sort.

00:25:11

Why did they treat me that way? Why did they like? Why did this happen and it could be really negative and I don't want to use any trigger stuff, but it could be very very.

00:25:19

Negative. See it as negative and then I'm. I always like to ask my friends. Like, OK, what would be the positive intention of why that person?

00:25:26

Did that thing with you and then I don't know cause like how could it be positive? Well, did they? How did they learn how to love? How did they learn how to keep you?

00:25:36

Safe and how they learned how to how they learned how to belong in society, guides their decisions on how they're going to treat you. So the person who says I had a really strict father and it was always in trouble and this and that. Well, that's how he learned how to keep people safe in his life. Because that's how he was taught. So he only he's doing the best. He did the best he could based on how he learned.

00:25:56

And so now you get to change that story to your point.

00:25:59

You get to change the way that you decide to keep yourself safe.

00:26:04

And how you decide to keep your kids safe? You don't have to follow the same stories and the same patterns, but there's always a positive intention, and when you can see it, then it goes ohh you can almost release it and forgive it and all those. That's a whole another topic, right? Forgive this is a whole other.

00:26:20

Topic. Yeah, I was talking to a.

00:26:22

Guy yesterday about forgiveness and.

00:26:25

Yeah, the whole of the podcast.

00:26:26

It it is.

00:26:27

So, so important, when you're talking about being free, forgiveness is.

00:26:35

A piece of freedom and and being able to really embrace a life of freedom. And what, when you have freedom in your life it it's just.

00:26:50

It's a it's a mental concept to me too, because it's it's really what you think about the situation that you're in allowed you to be able to be free, yes.

00:27:01

There are some people, Nelson Mandela, I think, was one of them who was in prison for many, many, many years. But the man was.

00:27:08

Not he was free.

00:27:10

He was free to write his books, to share his thoughts, to develop his thoughts and.

00:27:17

He had he had a huge impact. If he had never gone to jail.

00:27:22

That impact wouldn't have ever been made.

00:27:25

Julian Assange is another person that's like that. He is suffering tremendously.

00:27:30

And whatever you think about him or what he's done or hasn't done.

00:27:34

He's he's another person that had he never been persecuted the way he is, he would not be making the impact that he's making. It's just like you're in these situations. You just.

00:27:48

Suck like hell, but.

00:27:51

Because of the Crucible that you're in, it's causing some other things to happen in the world around you and at large that.

00:28:01

Were you never there, it would never have happened.

00:28:05

That's powerful.

00:28:07

Listen to that, people. It's powerful because I'll just give you, like, a a personal experience recently that I just went through and you just and and to your point, you don't know the.

00:28:17

Package that the change is going to come in, but you've got to understand that everything is happening for you for change and and so for example, back in November, I got the call that.

00:28:28

You know, my brother's my mom went into the hospital, and my dad has dementia. So my mother was his caretaker, and it's early on set. So like the daytime, he was kind of normal in the night time he went into.

00:28:39

The things and so when I found out that that happened, I went out to help take care of her for two months. So November and December of, you know, we're in 2024 now, but 2023 December and then November, December and January, I spent two months out there with my dad. It was strictly me and just me and him the 1st 10 days I will tell you what's hell it was.

00:28:59

So it was it was hard. It was emotional. It was a daughter seeing her father in a in a way of being that he had never been her entire 51 years. It was, it was hard and.

00:29:11

I learned more about myself in eight weeks and healed more childhood wounds. As you could imagine, my friend in eight weeks than I ever would have in any other way. Capacity coach. I've had coaching for four years. You know, I've broken it through a lot of stuff. I've done the healing in a lot of areas, but I had no idea.

00:29:31

What was going to come up from this container and now I could one way look at it as like this sucks. Or I could look at it as Oh my gosh. Like, look at the and the biggest one that came for me, it came for me the day I got him into a facility, we put him into a beautiful assisted living. We were so blessed. Literally the day that my mom agreed that we could research it the next day.

00:29:52

We called, they said we have a spot that just opened. It's yours. Boom. And it was like what normally takes months and.

00:29:57

Months and months.

00:29:59

I said to myself, we will get them somewhere in eight weeks and we did and we got it in a day.

00:30:04

But I put him there and I went back to the house and I was alone in their house. After two months of complete alone time with my father. And I didn't realize how much in 51 years because the baby of eight. So there's not. And a mother who passed away when I was 5 and my stepmom came into my life later on that I never got alone time with my dad. In 50 years, 51 years, never.

00:30:25

Never just me and him and I got two months of it because of.

00:30:29

Mentia and I and he was he was telling me Joe. He was like, you're beautiful. You're courageous. You're brave. You're like your mother. Like he was saying everything. I've always yearned to hear. And I cause that wasn't our family. We didn't do the. I love you's. We didn't do the hugs. We didn't do that stuff. I'm blessed to have a husband who does that. And he brought that into my life. But.

00:30:50

And that was only seven years ago. And so I sat there and I had this like, aha. And I just started crying. I was like, oh, my gosh, I never realized I needed this, and I needed it. And now I feel so much more in tune and in love with myself and my body and who I am and all sorts of stuff because of that.

00:31:08

Time frame which could have been seen as a very sucky time frame, and then it ended up being beautiful.

00:31:17

Not comfortable. Beautiful.

00:31:17

So happy for you, Jackie. That is such an amazing story. And it I, I'm like, wiping my tears away because it's just, like, so it touched my heart.

00:31:29

But you're absolutely right, it could. You could look at it like this sucks. Or you could look at it like, wow.

00:31:38

This was such a gift.

00:31:41

Yeah, and and and and and and I'm not going to sit there and the gifts show up in hard containers. Let me tell you, it was hard. It was, it was. It was. I was lots of tears. It was seeing a man who never got angry, lose his cookies every night yelling at me.

00:31:48

Yeah, they do.

00:32:00

I and it was hard and it was uncomfortable and it was beautiful. It was exactly what I needed.

00:32:06

That's amazing.

00:32:07

So now I'm about to cry. OK, great.

00:32:12

Yeah, I know other people who have big challenges in their life. You're talking about the woman who has a daughter that she can only think about today that.

00:32:24

I've met people who've had kids that were challenged. I met a woman whose daughter passed when she was.

00:32:34

18 or so she was ill for a long time in her life, and her her life is.

00:32:43

Has gone on and, but because of that other things have opened up for her and.

00:32:49

It's just like.

00:32:51

So many stories of of really tragic things that have happened in somebody's life, that really.

00:33:00

That's. That's where the gift is.

00:33:03

We all we.

00:33:04

We all have trauma in our lives. Well, I'll just want to add this one more thing. We all have trauma in our lives.

00:33:10

No one gets through childhood without it, but it's that trauma that that really is the Crucible that causes us to be the people that we become.

00:33:22

Microphone drop on that one.

00:33:25

And it's how like and back to what you said earlier, it's how we process it and what we're willing, how we're willing to see.

00:33:32

The lessons and the beauty from the trauma that determines like where we go and what we like do, and how we grow and what we experience. And we truly are the manifestos of our life and it can go either way. It could go either way, my friends.

00:33:49

Amazing, amazing. Manifesters. And we manifest everything.

00:33:54

Everything, everything. People like I didn't mention. Yeah, we kind of did.

00:34:00

And the thing about that is that you don't generally manifest immediately. It's not like, you know, the genie wave is wanted and suddenly.

00:34:09

The thing that you were thinking about appears it happens down the road, so you really got to watch your thoughts because it's what you're thinking about that's going to cause stuff to show up for you in the future. The whole plant sowing and reaping thing. If you if you take it back to that, you never sew and reap in the same season.

00:34:31

It's just the way the world works.

00:34:33

You plant those seeds and you're not going to eat off of that for several months down the way, but you can be sure if you planted the proper seed that you're going to get the thing that you were looking for in, you know, whatever the time frame is, well, the same goes for your thoughts when you start cleaning up your thoughts. It may be a month or two things.

00:34:53

Will happen, and the more you practice that, the better your life just gets overall.

00:34:59

Yeah, that is the pure lesson of trust and surrender. What you just explained, it's like, and knowing that like, it's not on your timeline and and so you, you've got to trust that what you're like as someone said just said the other day when I was working with the coach, she's like what you're seeing in your 3D World today obviously came from what you thought.

00:35:20

In which you like previous right and what's?

00:35:24

Done now and so if we want a different future, we gotta think a different way. Different, you know, just like what you're explaining. But of course, we all like, I want it yesterday. Like I I thought about this and I want it right now, you know. But that's not how it works. So just keep putting your orders in and your. I used to. I used to think I I related to those old diners where they put the tickets up like.

00:35:44

Else's diner, like water up, you know, put your water into God and the universe and go click OK, that's what I desire. And then just lean like, you know, you're gonna lean in and you're gonna do. You're gonna do. You're gonna do some stuff, and you're gonna.

00:35:56

Go up and you're gonna, but then you're gonna lean back and you're gonna trust your surrender and understand that I write my orders in when it happens isn't up to me.

00:36:07

It could happen tomorrow, but it could happen six months.

00:36:09

From now.

00:36:10

And those the.

00:36:10

How? Yeah, and the how, yes, the How will show up the how will show up. I cannot say that enough. Can you trust that? How will show up?

00:36:20

I manifested $54,000 in December and I did it intentionally, like from New Moon to New Moon.

00:36:28

I in November on the new moon, I broke my intention out and I was going to intend to $50,000 was going to show.

00:36:36

Up in my life.

00:36:37

My father-in-law, he was in great shape, you know, for 85 and living with congestive heart failure. And I mean, he and my husband had gone out to dinner and they were doing all the stuff.

00:36:49

And then the month went on and I knew how it was going to happen because.

00:36:52

You know.

00:36:54

That's just how.

00:36:57

But I I kept thinking about it and what I wanted and and imagining you know how it would feel when I had the money and and.

00:37:07

On the new Moon in December, my father-in-law passed and left us $54,000.

00:37:16

Again, that goes back to the.

00:37:20

The container of the lesson and the receiving of things we cannot predict. It's going to and it's going to you're going to be like.

00:37:30

Wow. Like how did it show up in?

00:37:33

That container that way.

00:37:35

You wouldn't know. There's no way.

00:37:37

There was no way I could have.

00:37:39

Known it was just like.

00:37:42

It it was sad.

00:37:45

But it was also one of those.

00:37:48

OK.

00:37:51

I'm a little surprised.

00:37:51

So then there's that.

00:37:53

But then that brings me to the point. This is then you'll go like this. It brings you to the point of like, how specific should you be in your future vision, requests and orders with the universe? Because if you're not.

00:38:07

Like you want to be too specific to hold back from what could come. So like when people say, you know certain level of money, I always end the OR more after it, you know, you know kind of thing to like give the freedom of what will be delivered but then I.

00:38:21

It's like.

00:38:22

Any other way but death and then boom you would not get the 54,000, right, but then it's.

00:38:28

Yeah. No, it's interesting. My dad's like, like I just didn't think I would gain everything that I gained from.

00:38:33

The container of dementia is not very looked on as very positive, you know.

00:38:39

It's it's not and it you know it's it's it's really a hard thing for everybody to go.

00:38:46

True, it's frustrating for the person who's suffering from it, especially if they're not, like, totally gone. They have lucid moments and they know that, you know, there's times when they're not. I think that's really hard on them, but it's hard on their loved ones because, you know, suddenly this person that you've known all your life doesn't know who you are and.

00:38:55

Oh yeah.

00:39:07

That's kind of like.

00:39:10

It's like they're dead, but they're not.

00:39:14

Yeah, you just described. My dad remembers us at this point. He knows who we are once like, we're in in front of him sometimes with. Remind him on the phone who we are.

00:39:21

And he goes, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, my baby girl, you know. And but then he gets frustrated that he's not the man that he independent.

00:39:31

You know, has money this and that. That's like all you know, God or changed, you know, the dynamic can't drive. Not a lot. Like doesn't really can't handle money, can't handle like doesn't have this and that and like he was a very you know independent man so it's it's understanding when they get into their rage because they just lost control.

00:39:50

Of what even their bowel movements. I mean, that's great topic, but just even that one thing.

00:39:56

Like, that's what we have control over in our life. Our bodily functions. Yeah, come on. Yeah.

00:40:01

Well, that is ultimately why my father-in-law died. He we we really thought he was going to make it. He he ended up getting COVID and so.

00:40:05

OK.

00:40:11

We we brought him home on Hospice, but you know, we were talking to the nurse about, you know, he'll rebound. He always does. And he's just.

00:40:19

Right.

00:40:21

He he was so certain he was going to live to be 100.

00:40:26

That's what he spoke into existence, but he moved his bowels and the nurse and I had to clean him. And we could just see in his eyes. It was like, oh, hell no. I'm done. And he left that night. I'm not doing this.

00:40:37

Not doing this.

00:40:41

He was a very private man and that whole that whole episode was just like.

00:40:47

That's when he quit.

00:40:50

And that is where we're at with my stepmom, who's been in my life since I was 7. So she's in the hospital the same thing. And we're like which way she can decide. You know, we're kind of waiting for the which direction she's going.

00:41:03

To decide to go one way or the other, and it is her choice.

00:41:08

So we'll find out.

00:41:10

Yeah, it's. It's sad on one one end, but I I don't think it's the end. So it's midway and I do transition.

00:41:23

To what you described that he went through and at the end when he made that decision, like I don't want to live this way. There is a set. There's something that I've just recently like.

00:41:33

Battled and went through like an energy session around and healed was the battle of why do I want them to go? It's because I don't want them to live a life.

00:41:42

They never wanted to.

00:41:42

Live. So there's this part of me that it's like, let them be free, right? Because I'm all about freedom. Let them be free to live the way they want to live. And that's not the way they are right now.

00:41:55

Yeah, you, you get another two over start again.

00:41:57

And so.

00:42:01

Right, right. Exactly. And it's funny because the human of us.

00:42:03

They had a grandson going the night before.

00:42:08

And his before he died. And my son Bob, who was his first grandson. His other son was born on his birthday three years ago.

00:42:19

So this like there was so.

00:42:21

Much going on during that that month.

00:42:26

Yeah. Hmm.

00:42:28

Beautiful and hard, you know, like the duality of life. I can write so many posts about the duality of life.

00:42:37

Yeah. So, Jackie, how do people work with you? What are you and and what do you help them with specifically as I might hold my tears away. Very emotional conversation on.

00:42:52

Normally like this.

00:42:56

That that tends to.

00:42:57

And then two that does happen when two very open and authentic, organic, vulnerable women get together, where we we release that in each other and and that's so good. That's such a good thing. And if you're listening, you don't have.

00:43:12

That reach out to us because.

00:43:16

You need people who are willing to go there and willing to be vulnerable in your life, so you could free yourself up to do the same. That's that would. Yeah, that would be 1.

00:43:25

Of my biggest price.

00:43:28

How do how to work with me? Let's see. So I have programs of like one-on-one coaching. I have a master.

00:43:34

Remind my masterminds, actually just like kicked off this year where we have a support team that helps you in all areas, I do the work like kind of what Jill and I have been talking about where we do the inner work and helping you really own who.

00:43:46

You are.

00:43:47

And get and get to the place where you can fully like be vulnerable and be authentic and real with because I it took me till I was 47 and I'm 51 now.

00:43:56

47 to really understand.

00:43:57

And that I didn't like myself, and I would only go so successful without loving myself from the inside out and moving towards that. Could I do that through a process of awakening and parenting and owning and this mastermind? I've added other pieces because financially, like, what's the mindset behind your finances that that person who does that and have a person there who does the Wellness behind.

00:44:17

Getting back to your circadian rhythm and then I have someone in there who does technology. So I've put a team of us of 6 to support you in this mastermind this monthly mastermind.

00:44:27

And then I also do retreats and I just announced one for April 2025 in the Outer Banks, North Carolina area. I did it last April and it was magnificent. And just watching the shifts and the women that still a year later that are happening and they're like because of that, this is happening because that this is happening.

00:44:48

And so I was like, I need to do it again. And so I not need, I desire to do it again. So April 2025. And so, yeah. And I do a lot of free stuff, but the best way to to to get in my world and be impacted and and change your life without having.

00:45:03

To join anything is actually my Facebook page. To be honest, my Facebook page is my digital diary of my thoughts, my life like I will. I'll have moments and everything just pours out of me into that platform and I'll have moments where it's like I'm drinking a cup of tea and I'm like, whoa, I got to share this.

00:45:23

Like this epiphany or this aha. You know, the one with my dad. Where I was like, wow. I just went live automatically and just started crying on alive and just telling them how much like, I just healed this childhood wound of of a band of never feeling loved and blah, blah, blah, not real.

00:45:38

Using it and so my Facebook page alone is a way to you can process, grow and become more vulnerable just by hanging out with me there.

00:45:48

So thank you.

00:45:48

That is awesome. So what's the one thing you want to leave the audience with today?

00:45:56

I think we've covered so many of them, even though this is one thing I, you know, one of the biggest ones is we.

00:46:04

We live in a very predictable life, like day-to-day doing the shoulds, doing what we've been, you know, maybe programmed to, and you. And there's this inner knowing that, you know, like when you, when you feel it, don't ignore it and stop putting that neck, that that purposeful, driven freedom life on hold because doesn't have to be. And I don't care what age you are.

00:46:24

I do not care what age you are, 3040506070. I've worked with all of it and I am just. I am blown away by women in their 70s restarting writing books, doing podcasts like all sorts.

00:46:38

This stuff, and I reinvented myself at 4748. It's just never too late to really.

00:46:44

Just go for what you desire, but to stop, stop waiting because we don't know what. Tomorrow, right. We don't know what tomorrow brings. And so you get to you. Get to have a fun freedom life now and not wait.

00:47:00

Awesome. Thanks for joining me. Jackie, this has been amazing.

00:47:04

Thank you for having me. You're awesome. I I'm so glad we got to do this.

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