Gabriela Chang – Embracing Feminine Energy: A Journey of Kundalini Dance and Authentic Relationships

Transcript

Hi and welcome to The You World Order Showcase podcast. Today we're speaking with Gabriella Chang. She is a feminine embodiment coach, energy healer, Kundalini dance facilitator and author. And we are so excited to hear from Gabriela today.

That she tells us what she's doing.

And we're gonna learn all about the.

Kundalini dance stuff.

I'm just like.

Totally fascinated by that so.

Tell us what you do, Gabriel.

Thank you so much, Jill.

I'm so happy to be here and I appreciate that warmth.

Welcome.

Yes, I am a kundalini dance facilitator.

And the main reason why I decided to learn about this beautiful sacred practice.

Is because I feel we women are completely shut down and disconnected from our bodies.

Yet one of the magical things that I found out is that we are.

Asking men to connect to their bodies to be emotionally available yet.

We don't seem to be able to.

Do it you.

Know and after being in the spiritual world for 13 years now, I came to the conclusion and the realization that meditation for women feels different.

And you know the majority.

Of our world.

Spiritual leaders are men, so of course we women have been learning what it is to be a woman through the masculine law.

So I needed that change.

I needed to take off the lens of the masculine and put on my feminine glasses, and this is what kundalini dance allowed me to do.

And every time I dance is a new beginning.

A new transformation is releasing something.

It's connecting.

Watch with me, with my.

My body wisdom, you know, and it feels so delicious to be able to just let go and stop thinking so much about.

What am I here to do?

What am?

I supposed to.

Do about all these strengths that I have to have about all this comparison and am I good enough?

And am I doing it right?

Perfect enough.

And all this overwhelm to be able to just disconnect and enjoy some peace some me time while dancing and letting go.

And just being observed and being seen by other amazing women and sometimes even men, it's just a an amazing, delicious experience.

I can only imagine how great that would feel.

I've never done Kundalini dance.

But as I was sharing with you earlier, I have.

Had an experience that was.

All I can describe it is supernatural, but it was a physical I could feel this in my body more than I've ever felt.

And I've done meditation for quite a while now, but it's.

Every time you approach meditation, it feels different.

And sometimes you just get into that.

Place that is just like.

It's magical. It's almost divine.

You just connect with the energy, that is everything and.

It's one of those experiences.

It's such an amazing experience, you know, to be able to just feel that expansion.

Like you're connected, you belong.

You don't have to.

All these fears just disappear, you know.

And to be able to do it in a secret container.

Like I call it for women to simply let go.

And to simply experience what it is to be and stop doing like you know, even when we sit down for meditation, I need to stop thinking.

And actually that is not something that we can ever do because thinking is part of the ego and it's not bad.

We have to rewire.

And we have to rewrite the story we have with our egos, with our bodies, with our minds, and really understand what it feels like to just be.

You know, and that is the experiment that I have been going through for the past few years, which is joy feel like.

What a surrender.

Feel like you know.

And to have that magical experience is something that we women, something that is feminine, really brings into the world.

The world doesn't feel magical because we women have been denying our femininity for way too long.

But not because we chose to do that, but because.

You know, that's what patriarchy is all about, denying the feminine.

So we have wars.

We have all these issues with competition and then comparison, right?

I'm not like her.

I'm not like him.

I have to do this.

I have to do that so I can be better every time.

But that's actually looking for perfectionism.

But when we can let go and just allow the energy to move through our bodies when we can experience that magic rushing through our veins and just disappearing in the not knowing, not thinking, being not being is, is a magical delicious.

Experience. It's just so exciting.

It is, it is really.

And you make a good point about.

Having we've been.

Trained and I think it is a lot of training as we're.

Growing up to.

To conform.

And I think this whole experience of Kundalini in particular, but the, the meditation and the just allowing yourself to be is the antithesis of conformity.

It's allowing yourself.

To be the original that you were created to be and to tap into that energy that is uniquely you.

As part of the larger collective.

But you know our bodies are a bunch of cells all operating together.

Each one is an individual each one.

Has a unique purpose.

Even if you know they're all cell skin or skin cells.

Each skin cell is unique and has a unique spot that it in position that it fills.

We as energy and spiritual beings.

We have that in the overall tapestry of what life is and the the whole idea of having coaches come along and say.

Here, here are some tools.

To tap into that to.

See where you.

Fit in is so amazing and.

I think that's kind.

Of what you're doing it you're.

Providing this for women, so how do you?

How do you make this work?

How do you?

How do people experience what?

You help them with I guess is the best.

Way to put it.

So as a feminine embodiment coach, the main reason I do this work is because we want to be in relationships.

We want connection however many times.

We're single unhappy and more than ever right now.

And then separations divorces happen because we don't know how to connect, but mainly because we don't know how to connect with our bodies.

So that's why it's a feminine and body ament.

We have to reclaim our bodies.

We have to feel safe.

In our bodies, we don't feel safe in our bodies.

We running in survival mode and we think that that is our intuition.

So many times we're confused and intuition with survival.

We are freezing, we're running away.

We are fighting.

We're hiding, you know.

And then we have all these masks, we start performing in accordance to the culture that we are in.

So we are not really being ourselves because we all want to be accepted in our tribes because not being accepted in our tribes means that we are going to die.

So we all crave that belonging and for the feminine energy, you know, the feminine energy is in charge of relationships, in charge of nurturing and having connection, while the masculine energy is in charge of protecting that.

Creating the container for the feminine to be able to move and flow.

So you can't see the feminine energy as water, and the masculine energy as the container.

And it's a beautiful thing because if you see the body that is the body is the container.

So we all have feminine and masculine energy, regardless of how you identify yourself as.

And then we decide with what energy we want to lead.

So me as a woman, I've decided and I feel very feminine up my.

Core however, I was leading with masculine energy.

I was always performing, always trying to get the, you know, the next thing trying to be super woman, right?

That's a syndrome actually that we have right now in our, in our society, especially here in the United States, where women are trying to just be that super powerful woman where she doesn't need anyone.

However, she's burning out.

We are being overwhelmed and then we are single, right and we are on dating apps trying to find someone but nobody can meet ups right here because we need no one.

When you need no one, can you have someone?

Everybody is not gonna be enough for you.

And then I hear women saying ohh they feel intimidated by me.

Well, not necessarily men.

It's not that men feel intimidated by a woman.

Of course there are some men who could feel this way, but it's not the case.

In general, men don't feel intimidated.

Men feel shut down.

Men feel that they cannot penetrate you as the masculine a man wants to know that he is welcomed and received.

But when we women are blocking ourselves, when we are performing, closing our hearts and just shutting down from feeling running on Autopilot, he doesn't feel that he can be seen.

He doesn't feel accepted.

So how can you be with somebody who knows and he can see that you're not accepting yourself?

You're not being genuine and authentic?

How can he reveal himself to you when you're not revealing yourself?

To even yourself.

So that's the main, you know, reason why I do this work.

Because I was completely shut down from my intuition, from my family power.

I thought it was weakness and one of the things I was actually talking to, one of my girlfriends.

One of these.

Is that I don't even remember.

This is how shut down.

I was from my body that I cannot recall my first day of my period.

I don't remember if it was a traumatic experience.

I don't remember what was my reaction.

I don't remember what I did and if I knew about it.

It's completely shut down because of the many different situations that when in my childhood that I disconnected, I completely caught off my emotional body.

And when we caught off the emotional body, we are disembodied.

So for me it has been a process of coming back to the body and feeling safe in the body so the soul doesn't feel like it belongs to the body.

The soul feels rejected, and so then we start repeating those patterns.

We start attracting situations in which we feel rejected.

We feel abandoned.

We feel there is injustice is unfair.

And we start projecting all of this in our relationships.

So with Kundalini dance in my other feminine embodiment practices in my coaching, I actually help women to connect to their body with them, to tap into what is in their womb area what is in their heart, what is in their throat, what is blocking women, what is blocking.

Us from expressing our truth.

From really speaking up without yelling, without, you know, being unapologetically you, which is another thing that I have my issues with.

You know when we're telling women just be on apologetically, you, and then I hear a lot of women really being mean and really being like, if you don't love me, it's not on my issue like.

You'll deal with.

But like I also have to be loving and compassionate, right?

I also have to be loving towards the person who's in front.

Of me and.

Learn how to communicate in a way that is powerful but also soft.

That is going to be healing for those around me.

So that comes with learning a lot of skills deconditioning from this belief that I need to be like men to be loved and accepted, that I am an amazing, beautiful woman with just so many amazing skills.

That isn't that is amazing and it's true.

The idea that we.

We have to be all things to all people.

And women are tend to be nurturers.

Of one sort or another, we tend to want to help people.

We tend to want to, like, do all the things and be like men too.

Well, we can, you know, get.

Out there and.

Turn it up in the business world and.

And that whole.

Glass ceiling trying to get through the glass ceiling thing.

When it?

Really comes down to it, we.

Don't need to do all of those things.

Well, all we really need to do is.

Sit in alignment with who we are and find peace there, but it's not.

I mean it's.

Easy to say that.

But without the tools and without a guide, it takes a long.

Time and it.

It can become frustrating.

To you know, cause you.

Do hear things like you.

Know be unapologetically humble.

Does that really mean?

And you know, with that I hear I was at the store one of those days and I heard these two women, I think he was the mom and the daughter against the husband of the daughter.

And I heard the mother being like, she's right and you are not right.

You don't know you're talking about.

I'm like, Oh my goodness.

You know, even if she's right, what's the point of having to shut down the man in that way?

You know, I believe the feminine energy is healing, I believe is healing because we are the ones creating life.

So imagine how powerful that is.

Every man in this world and woman came from a woman.

The guy only.

Gave us the seed, but without the guy we are, we cannot create either, so we are both creating together.

And when we're constantly telling women she's always right, she starts leading with that ego mindset with that perfectionism.

So when she's always right, she's never wrong.

But when she's wrong, she suffers internally, or she's fighting to be always.

And then you have a culture of being unapologetically you, which means you're always right.

He's always wrong.

You're always perfect.

He's always imperfect.

And when we put on that mask.

We just create so many.

Problems for ourselves, you know.

It really does.

I've been married for a long time in.

My life and I can tell you.

I have a really good relationship with my husband.

And we learned early on not to push each other's buttons.

And we allow space for each other.

And without allowing individuals.

To have their own.

Space and to.

Have their own.

Responsibilities in the relationship I look at my.

Own parents who were.

Married for over 50 years and they were a team, but being part of a team, each person has a job to do a role that they.

That they accept and.

They can excel in their role, but they.

Don't have to.

Do the work of the other person.

And in my own relationship with my husband, we decided when I started having more children that he would work and.

I would take care of.

The kids, the finances, the house, everything.

When he came home he was gone 28 days and home for three days and this went on.

For like 20 years.

It was a long time, but when he came home.

I did everything for him.

Then he's retired now and we've had to learn to Reshift and he's been home for about two years now and he's learning some things and he's being able to experience things that he didn't experience while he was doing his part of the job.

And I'm getting to have some opportunities to do things and to pursue things that I didn't have time for when I was trying to take care of everything else.

So it's kind of.

Interesting when you're talking about you.

Know she's always right and.

Its OK to be right and it's.

It's OK to embrace.

Who you are.

That you should.

Apologize when you're in the wrong and you should be able to have the space in your relationship to.

To come together as a team.

In the case of.

That, that, that mother-in-law cast standing up for her daughter. I don't know what all the circumstances were, but I.

On a personal level.

I've made it a point that I don't get between my kids relationships.

And if they come to me like.

He did this or she did this.

It's like, OK, well, let's push it back in.

There you figure it out.

Don't push each other.

'S buttons.

And you know, some of the things are happening right now.

First you mentioned.

Right, people are like, I don't want to have the roles because they are associating roles with traditional roles, which nothing wrong with that.

If the couple decide that that's what they want, well, that's what they want.

You know, I remember one time talking to this guy on the phone for like 10 minutes.

And he's like, Oh my God, I should have asked you this before, like that would.

Have been the first question.

This is what I want.

Are you that kind of woman?

I work and I want my woman to have children.

Stay home.

And I was like, no.

That's not me, thank.

You so much have a great life.

There's nothing.

You know, and that's the wrong.

That nothing wrong.

There need to be roles in a relationship.

Because it's two different individuals, two different people need to know what they're supposed to do, because if we don't know that, we don't have agreements, we don't have contracts, we build up on resentment, we create separation.

We don't have intimacy, and intimacy is not sex, but intimacy leads to Amazing Grace.

Sex when you are able to express your needs and know that you are being heard.

You know, so roles in our relationship feel like, well, this is what I want to do.

You agree with that?

Let's talk about this.

But who has the final decision?

Who has the final word in this issue?

Right.

And that is a teamwork that is saying you are the President of this department, like in your case was your home in.

His case was work.

Right.

And both of you know your roles perfectly fine, that helps a lot in a relationship when we're not able to define those roles.

That's when we start creating a lot of confusion, a lot of silent treatments, a lot of.

With my mind.

Having the expectations in a relationship, I I think that was.

Great that that.

Guy was like this is what I expect.

And it gives you freedom to say, well, I'm not your gal.

Ohh, they think that that goes.

In a lot of relationships.

Instead of trying to like, help everybody with everything.

But when we.

Identify who we help and what we help them with.

We can.

We can better serve them because they have expectations of whatever the results.

Going to be and.

Excuse me, we have.

And we know what is expected.

Of us, it's in.

Relationships are so interesting when they when you bring them together and it's just like how do these two pieces fit together and sometimes relationships aren't meant to go full really long time, they're.

They're not.

That is true, you know?

So that's why it's important to know what.

Do you want?

What are your values and one of the amazing things that I find a lot of people either don't know or leave it out for some reason is how do you want to feel in your relationship, right.

So one of the things that I do in my work as a feminine embodiment practice is.

I guide women to tell me what are the feelings that you are experiencing.

And that relationship that you want.

So we go into this visualization practice or meditation.

She starts visualizing and I start asking her, what are the feelings that are arising many times the number one feeling actually that comes up is I want to feel safe.

For a Walmart, when we.

Don't feel safe in our relationship.

We start performing over doing over giving just to get that safety, that security, right.

And then I asked them.

All right, so we have the feelings here now.

What does that mean to you?

How does that look for you?

Right.

It's not enough to create that list with all the qualities that I want in a person or all the things that I want in my relationship.

You also have to sit down with those feelings, and that's part of the embodiment.

Oh my God, I want to feel loved.

What does it feel like to you, Joe?

For me, feeling lost is when he brings me flowers, when he surprises me with dinner with plants and things like that.

Right.

But for you it may mean something different or when he cleans the floors when he unloads the dishwasher, you know when he prepares the kids to go to school or something like that, maybe that's not how I want to feel loved.

But that is your way.

So let's embrace that.

Let's embody those feelings, and then let's create those things for us, right?

And being able to communicate that.

To your partner.

I I'm a time person.

I love it when my husband just stops what he's doing and pays attention to me and listens in a deep level and we've orchestrated our lives so that we go for walks every day.

We walk for three miles and it takes us.

About an hour.

But that hour, there's no.

There's no nothing.

We just talk.

And it's.

It's how he says I love you.

And in the evening we sit.

Outside, put our feet on the ground for.

30 minutes or 45 minutes.

Depends on the day, but.

And it's another period of time where we're just together and we talk or not talk.

But it's just.

That's another way that he says I love you and it's how I hear I love you.

I shouldn't even say it's how he says it.

It's how I hear it.

It's just like when somebody gives you flowers and.

You're a gifts person and it's it's how you perceive them, telling you they love you and and understanding what their needs are also helps in the relationship like my husband is a person who likes words of affirmation and.

I know this about him.

And that's how he.

Hears I love you from me.

Yeah, and that is a beautiful thing.

Know because I.

Remember, with one of my clients for example.

Ohh something I wanted to say is that.

You go on walkie talkies, we go.

On walkie talkies.

I like that a lot.

One of my clients said that you.

Know and I had another client where she was struggling with her leaving boyfriend.

Because he just wanted to play video games, and when she asked him, I want to spend time together.

He was like, well, we're in the same room.

We're spending time.

Together, you know, we had to go into a communication.

Skill for her.

Her and she had to learn how to express well.

This is what quality time looks for me, right?

Even if it's just 10 minutes.

15 minutes, whatever that means for me, I want your undivided attention.

So take your time.

After you come back from work, decompress, and then if you can take time.

During dinner and just talk for a little.

Bit that's enough for me.

That's what quality time feels like for me.

But for him it was like, well, we're in the same room we are.

Together that feels good to me exactly.

Because he's not a time person he doesn't understand.

How that looks?

So if if we can express our needs in a way that this is what it looks like for me so with Kundalini dance, which I love is it helps to remove the blockages from our throat and our.

Through chakra and our sacral chakras are actually one and the same.

They're twins and they separated as we were growing in the uterus, they separated, but they are the same.

So you can say that your voice is the voice.

Of your womb.

When you are blocked in your throat, this is coming from your womb, so we need to hear the womb.

We need to be able to listen to our own needs because many times we don't even know how to.

Listen to ourselves.

We don't even know what we want.

And we're expecting other people to.

Say hey, this is.

What you want?

I got it for you.

A surprise?

Yeah, because with gifts too, you know.

I quit trying to guess what people want.

So like what?

Do you want Christmas is coming?

What do you want?

Yeah, I'll get.

It for.

You for tell Mike, you're surprise.

Exactly. Exactly.

Or don't.

There is a good point.

That women tend to not even.

Know what they want.

It it's really hard if you don't.

Know who you.

Are or what?

What you value?

Or what?

How you how you accept love.

That that's a really.

Big epiphany for me.

Because for years it was just like I expected people to just love me.

I didn't know what that looked like.

I I actually read the gifts and you know the five love languages, really good book and and really it helped in all kinds of relationships, not just in my relationship with my husband, but even with your kids or your coworkers, you know.

People that you interact.

With, if you understand what their love language is.

Then you can you can do things that make them feel.

Important or special?

Because it doesn't take a lot of time to do any of the five.

Five things.

Not at all.

And then that other person, if they don't know what their love language is and they see this happening.

To them, they're just like.

Oh, this person does really care.

About they're speaking my love language.

Exactly it it's.

A beautiful feeling, you know, to feel loved and for us women, we have been conditioned from a very young age from, you know.

Birth that we are here to give, that we are here to please men.

So that's the resentment that we see in our current society where women are resentful of men.

So we #1 have to heal that wound of resentment #2 we have to open ourselves up to receiving and stop giving so much.

You hear little women?

I gave him all I.

Had, yeah, that was the problem.

We gave, we gave from an empty cup.

Because we don't know how to receive and when we're empty, what can we give but more pain, right?

And I love kundalini for that reason.

And I love all my coaching skills and tools that I have that I give to women, you know, because it really helps women open up to receiving open up to joy open up to connecting to source, feminine and masculine.

Energy is not just the masculine above, but also to connect to mother.

And those walkie talkies that you have, those are beautiful and wonderful to connect to that feminine energy.

So when you're doing that with your husband, he can feel that connection.

He can feel that feminine attraction.

Yeah, that's the beauty of it.

It is really beautiful.

So how do?

What's the one thing that you really want?

People to take away from this conversation today.

To feel the body.

For women to feel their hearts, to feel their wombs.

To learn to listen.

To learn to separate the voice of the eagle versus the voice of their wombs of their bodies.

And to truly embody inner peace calmness.

And open up to receiving.

There's so much to receive.

There is for.

And how do people get?

In touch with you.

So they can go to my website gabriellachang.com and I also have a little gift. So if you are interested in learning about the energies and just start your journey into feminine embodiment, I recommend you to download my free guide at feminine.

Datingrituals.com and this will work for you whether you are in, in a relationship or not, and it will just help you start, you know, understanding the energies, understanding how feminine and masculine works and you know connect with me.

That is awesome.

I could talk to you for hours.

Gabrielle and this has been amazing.

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much for.

Joining me today.