Dr. Jo Unveils the Path to Self Love

Hi and welcome to the You World Order Showcase podcast. Today we are stuck talking with Doctor Jo. Doctor Jo started out as a psychologist and works as a women's coach with yoga and.

Anything else going to

Tell us about it.

I'm a yoga teacher.

And I also teach meditation and mindfulness.

And my coaching is a combination of holistic, spiritual and.

Life coaching and I also blend in a lot of I have specialties in like disordered eating, co-dependency, relationships, communication, I do women's poetry circles.

I have a lot of different hats that.

I wear in.

My work so, but I absolutely love what I do.

I'm really interested to hear the story.

Behind the name of your website.

Yes, yes.

So Tula, I picked the name Tula because it means balance in Sanskrit.

I'm very fond of the Sanskrit language.

It has such a rich history and then I found out later from one of my clients who's from the Philippines, that it means poem.

There and I write poetry.

So I'm like, oh, isn't that perfect?

And then I found out from someone else that it means wind in Finnish.

And I happened to be Finnish

So that was perfect.

And I have a particular affinity for the wind and air.

That's kind of my element.

So it just it was a gift from the universe.

So I.

I'm so grateful for that.

Hmm, isn't that interesting how sometimes those just like seemingly innocuous?

Ideas that just pop into your head.

Have so much deeper and richer meaning.

Yes, I mean, I just.

It right away.

I knew that was.

The name of my business.

I didn't question it.

I didn't go this one or this one.

It was just Tula Soul

That's what it is.

And I think a lot of decisions in my life have been.

Made that way.

For example, when I was 12, I knew I was going to be a psychologist.

That's just that's what I was going to do.

And I think that was a gift because, you know, a lot of people struggle with what do I want to do with my life.

But for me it was just it was already set and I applied to.

One Graduate School.

Got and I applied for one internship.

Got that

I just kind of trust that the universe is gonna kind of follow my intentions and it really does.

That's not to say that sometimes it hasn't thrown me for major loops.

And but in the end.

It always there's always.

A reason behind that, and there's always a lesson that I learned, and it all makes sense in context.

When I look back.

So tell us your story of how.

You got started into the coaching world.

Well, I was in private practice as a psychologist for 13 years, and I especially, I mean, I specialized in everything from yoga.

I'm sorry, not yoga from anxiety, depression to schizophrenia.

And I saw kids.

Men and women and I ended up being so.

Busy that I had a waiting list.

And I loved.

What I did, but I think I burnt out a little bit and one of.

The things that was hard is the.

The bureaucracy of psychology having to diagnose everyone and then having to come up with the treatment plan that was fairly cookie cutter.

So the insurance companies approved it, and I realized that I was feeling constricted.

I wanted to do more.

I wanted to incorporate some of the.

Yoga some of the eastern medicine traditions that I was learning on the side.

And so when COVID hit.

I closed my office and I decided, you know what?

I'm going to open a virtual practice of coaching.

So I got my coaching certifications.

I continued my yoga education, got some other certifications and opened up Tula Soul, and I've never regretted it and I decided I want to just work with.

Women because.

That, just I wanted to focus more.

On your website, you talk about yoga saved your life, share with us

Yes, yes.

When that happened?

Of course, now when I was 12 years old, I was hospitalized with anorexia.

I didn't know what it was at the time.

I just knew I was terrified of food.

So at that time I was really intrigued with the psychologist that helped me in treatment in the hospital.

So that's when I decided I was going to be.

A psychologist, which was a gift

For over a.

Year mix of inpatient and outpatient and one day we went to my yoga body image class and I went in and I realized I got into warrior two and I had this really profound thought.

I don't have to loathe my body.

And as soon as I realized that because I was in my body for the first time, I wasn't living from my neck up and I felt my muscles and I was embodied.

And I thought I don't have to loathe this body.

I can actually be in it and experience it.

And the tears just flowed.

And I was like.

I'm going to be a yoga teacher.

And the day after I left treatment, I started training to be a yoga teacher, and it really did.

It was the.

Sort of the.

Last piece of my recovery that was missing and I'm in recovery now and yoga is such a big part.

Of that, it's.

It's just, it's about moving with breath.

It's about embodiment and.

I think that so many people think of yoga as an exercise for bendy people.

That's not what it is, you know.

It's not.

What it is?

At all.

It's actually for everyone and it's they originally yoga was simply the asanas or poses was developed simply for monks to sit for hours in meditation

It wasn't developed as an exercise at all.

So I like to teach the.

Full yoga, not just the I don't teach it as exercise.

I teach it as.

A way of life.

As it has been for me and changing my life, so I'm so grateful to it.

Yoga is one of those things that I think a lot of people do get into it for the exercise, but it's so much more and just the breath work.

Yes, I do.

We breathe.

Unconsciously, every day.

But having purpose to your breath.

Brings a whole different.

Aspect to living.

It really does.

I mean, one of the first things that I teach clients is simply to extend the exhale.

So if you inhale, let's say, to a count of four, and exhale to account of six or eight eventually.

It slows down your nervous system, it brings calm.

It's just an easy, easy way to bring some relaxation into your day if you're anxious.

You know you can simply do it and nobody knows.

You're doing it.

And then there's so many pranayam techniques which is breathing techniques.

That I've studied.

So I love working with people in meditation because that's the other thing I think where there's myths like you, you're supposed to get rid of your thoughts, right?

No, no, no.

It's more like.

Just being intentional and following your breath.

And so I tell, I mean, I've been meditating for, I don't know how long I still get distracted and have thoughts.

That's not a big.

It's just not attaching to them.

You know, just kind of watching them and then coming back to your breath

So meditation has also been a huge part of my life and I think a lot of people are scared to try it.

Rightfully so.

But if you have a good teacher.

You know, going along with you and finding the right meditation for you, then it's not.

So it's not so scary and it's not so.

Oh, I don't have time for that because you start with one minute.

You know, you don't have to do it for a long time.

And the whole idea of one, one minute or three minutes.

It seems like it's just really short.

But when you first start meditating a minute can.

Be really long.

Right.

But it builds the muscle.

It's like starting with light weights or starting with, you know, beginning poses in yoga you don't like, do crow on your second.

That's right.

Day of the class.

It's not happening.

You don't even try, you just don't.

And that's the thing about meditation.

Just like you said, it's a muscle and you build up.

But even the little.

Moments you're being mindful and think about what we do every day we are distracted.

We are on our phones.

We are on our computer.

We are talking to people, we in our society especially we don't like quiet.

We don't like stillness, so.

Therefore, that's exactly what we need.

You know to like, unplug, detach and sit with our own silence.

Because that's when you get to.

Know who you are.

And frankly, a lot of people, myself included, I was terrified of that.

I didn't.

I didn't want to know who I was because I thought it.

Would be something.

Pretty scary, but you find out that.

We're all what?

What I found out was universal consciousness that I am no different from anyone else.

I'm no better.

I'm no worse.

I have the same feelings, the same desires, the same needs as everyone else.

And when I realized that.

Everything just kind.

Of lifted like.

OK so.

It just perspective shifted in such a profound way that I could accept everything and I could love myself because I love everybody.

You know, so.

It's just a.

It's a beautiful experience.

And the thought that we're all connected.

It's just like it takes the onus off of just being you.

It does.

And it also takes away.

In a interesting way, the responsibility for others, you know, I had growing up in an alcoholic family.

I was very much.

Codependent taking on you know, feelings for everyone else.

But knowing that we're all connected means I don't have to take care of anyone else because.

They are responsible for their feelings and I'm responsible for mine and I get to put my needs first, which I never have, and so realizing that too is such freedom.

Yeah, and.

Just being able to exist

Sometimes is freeing without having to have like a purpose and be just relax in the connectedness and the disconnectedness because they're kind of like the Ying and Yang of existence.

They really are.

That's beautifully said, I think to just be to you know, I tell people we're human beings, not human doings, and that is hard for us.

And you know the whole.

Thing about.

In our society, it's about achievement.

It's about what you do.

It's about how much you earn and like, think about it at a party.

The first thing we say.

Is what do.

You do what if instead we said, what is your passion?

Wouldn't it be more interesting and more relevant?

Right.

And I always my dad didn't work because of depression and alcoholism, so I had to.

Well, I didn't have to, but I considered work differently.

I considered it.

I didn't put as much importance

on it.

And so when people talk about their jobs and I'm talking to myself here too, because when I changed from being a psychologist to a coach, you know, granted, my income went down.

A lot of things changed and I had to look at my ego and be like, OK, so.

Why was I so identifying with that rule?

What does that mean?

And then I realized that yes, I was doing the same thing I was. I was so attached to that character to that definition of who I was, and then I remind myself, and I tell people this, there are some people who don't work. They just live off their land, you know, and they the self-sustaining.

Family they have, you know, celebrations in the community and they.

Have, but there's.

No jobs.

There's no income, there's no and, and they make a life and they're happy, you know.

There's this whole idea.

Of job and money, and it's all a construct, right?

So I'm just learning to not identify so.

Much with that.

It's kind of the matrix if you think about it, because we have abundance everywhere.

It is. It is.

It's not like tomorrow

There will be no abundance.

Your abundance is shut.

It only shuts off when you step back from the stream.

I saw something today that I thought was really interesting on Instagram.

I can't.

I wish I remembered who.

Who posted it, but I don't it.

The thing said, we only we need.

To see water moving water every day.

Oh yes.

I thought about that, I was.

Like wow.

That's because I think we're water and we.

We are water.

Everything energy is like water.

It moves, it's.

Fluid and it's.

It's everything is always in motion. Everything's vibrating at a different frequency, and all of that energy.

It responds to other energy and it can push and pull and arrange things and bring things into being that didn't exist before.

That's right.

It just reshaping and then suddenly you've got this new thing.

And it's kind of a difference in the paradigm where.

It totally is.

For the longest time, and it just really goes to why I started this podcast.

There was all these constructs around the way things should be and it really pushed people into almost a slave like.

Experience in this life and where they had to like you have to work for money so you can buy your house and you have your car and then you.

Have to keep.

Working and you have to keep.

Can you have this type of family was 2.

.5 get all that? Yeah.

And the women had to be everything.

Be all you could be.

Had to be mothers.

And workers and do all the housework.

I mean, it was it got to the point for me anyway, where it was like, why do I need a husband again?

I'm doing everything.

And yeah, you're making some money, but I’m

Killing myself here.

What else are you doing?

So I love that.

That paradigm is shifting and it's getting more into people recognizing that.

We're all part of.

A flow and we all are connected and we all have gifts to share and it's the giving and the taking and the ebb and the flow.

That's right.

And it just.

It's such a better way to me.

Ohh it is and that's.

The feminine way, I mean, you know the yin Yang.

The feminine way is more fluid, softer, not, but more creative, and the masculine is a little bit more orderly.

More put it in the box, you know.

And we need both.

We need a.

Balance of both, but for.

However, long men have been kind of ruling our society and it's not working very well.

I mean we need more feminine influence and I think that that maybe started, I mean.

Can argue that there's some fall back the.

Other way but.

The fluidity is.

So essential in terms of accepting everyone in terms of seeing new paradigms, seeing, understanding new things.

You know, I chose not to have.

Children and I still when we go to my husband's thing, you.

Know people still say how are you

Children, I'm like ohh, I don't have children.

Ohh, how are your pets?

Yeah, I have fish.

They're just fine, you know.

And it's like.

No dogs are cats?

Yeah, and now you know when I meet.

People just meeting people and if they say yeah, I'm engaged, I say ohh.

Is your partner a man or a woman?

Because why not?

You know, I think that's a respectful question and.

I think just being more open to that kind of thing is just.

It's an evolution of humankind.

You know, we're just becoming more aware.

And I think it's an individual responsibility and then.

Also to share it with.

The world, which is kind of what?

You're doing.

Yeah, it's just souls.

Bunch of souls wandering.

Around and we just.

My teachers.

In these.

Meat bodies.

Soothe my teacher says earth suits and she says.

We're all divine.

Beings having a human experience, I love that.

And it we're just expressing.

In whatever container we're in, and it doesn't have to define.

Our bodies don't have to define who we are.

No, and coming from someone who's had body dysmorphia and anorexia, that is a very, very important thing that I'm still learning, you know, I mean, I still have days when I'm not seeing the right not right.

But I'm my image is distorted.

And so I remind myself.

That first of all, that doesn't matter.

That's just my earth suit and secondly.

There's so many ways I challenge the ideal body image.

One thing I do is remember that.

You know the ideal used to be very Rubenesque beautiful curvy women.

And it wasn't until like the 60s, you know, we have the Twiggy model that women shrink and it's not a coincidence because women at that time were starting to earn money and become independent.

Let's just call it the.

Man didn't like that, and so the cosmetics industry, the diet industry boomed and women then again drew their attention to shrinking themselves and being quiet.

And I'm not OK with that.

I like to be very loud and I like.

To take up space so.

I remember that and then I'm like, oh, hell no.

I'm not falling.

For that, no.

I deserve to take up space and I deserve to use my voice.

So I remind women of that because it's easy to get.

Not easy.

Well for me it's easy to get upset about the patriarchy and then recognize its part in all.

Of this so.

That's an important aspect.

Think that.

I still think this in the days of Twiggy because I'm old enough to remember Twiggy.

Ohh I remember yeah.

That women were expected to be prepubescent.

Their entire lives.

That model.

Looks like little boys, and not women.

It does.

Think about how much more you can control a woman if she's.

A pre-pubescent.

And how much more power you have?

If she's small.

And if she's not menstruating because she's starving, her hormones are all.

You don't have to worry about getting her pregnant.

Don't have to worry about that.

It's all, yeah.

This interesting I love seeing the power that.

Women in particular.

But coaches in general.

Are putting out there in terms of shifting how the world looks at different things and how we can?

We can address problems in a different way, yes.

Yes, that was the other thing.

When I was a psychologist, you know, everything had a label, a diagnosis and.

I.

Believe in psychology.

I very firmly do.

However, diagnostic labels do not.

Begin to describe the complexity of someone’s.

You know issues, I think.

What it my mentor said there is no mental illness.

There's just trauma.

Yes, I agree.

With that too, and I think you know when I'm coaching, I don't worry about labels like that.

I look for I look for.

Existential angst.

You know, I'm going deep, and that's my passion.

I, you know, obviously we address the issues, but I want to know.

Like the spiritual depth, I want to know.

What's lacking there?

I want to know transgenerational trauma.

You know, I'm going to look at all of that because there's so much more to work with than just, you know, I'm.

I'm having panic attacks.

There's just so much more than that, so.

They don't just spring up.

Out of a vacuum, there's a reason for them.

Right.

And I mean, I can teach techniques to, you know, educate about panic attacks, educate about different breathing techniques, et cetera, and make it easier to deal.

With, but let's.

Let's find out why, you know.

Let's look at.

All of the reasons underneath, and let's find.

A way to.

To your bliss, let's find a way that you can, you know, be.

And I always want to get to contentment versus happiness, because happiness is fleeting.

And it's usually when you acquire something, I'll be happy.

Dopamine hit.

Yeah, exactly.

But contentment, on the other hand, is just being.

At peace with.

What is?

So you can be content no matter.

What? Yeah, yeah.

So yeah, so I love the fact that I.

Can just do.

Things the way that I want to and always incorporating meditation and somatic techniques and breathing all of that stuff because it just makes.

A whole.

Package and I do some Qigong and I'm doing sound healing.

Training this next weekend so I'm so excited about that.

Because I do a lot of chanting and we do mantras and they so much add to everything because the vibrations like you mentioned you know they heal in in certain ways and Sanskrit the language is such a way that the vibrations of the of the sounds.

Yeah it.

And it's not like, woo, stuff.

It's.

There's science around speaking over water.

Yes there is.

Speak kindly to your plants, they’ll grow.

Yes, you speak kindly to yourself.

You will flourish.

That's exactly right.

I talk to myself all the time.

It works.

I mean, it really does.

And leave yourself love notes.

On the bathroom mirror.

Oh, honestly, why not? Yeah.

I have.

I have you’re beautiful.

I have your body.

Your body size does not.

What is it your body size does not equal your worth or something like that.

A lot of good.

Ones like that.

And I.

Have a little.

Song that I made-up for myself when I'm anxious. It's kind of like a lullaby I sing to myself and it it's.

It's beautiful because we all have different.

Parts of us, you know, we're still our.

Child self and we have that in us.

So sometimes if you get anxious, you can literally.

You know that little child can come present, and so you need to comfort a little child.

So a lullaby works pretty good, you know, or something really soothing like that or holding a teddy bear.

I have a teddy bear.

There's nothing wrong with those kind of things, because sometimes you're working with different ages within.

I think that we're.

All a little bit of a split personality and that we have different.

Personas that we embody, and it doesn't even have to be around other people.

It can be ourselves.

Ohh that's right.

And if we have enough trauma, then they start presenting distinctly.

But I think just in general, we have everybody's experienced trauma to one level or another like to be an.

Oh for sure. Yep.

Adult without going through it.

Yeah, I know it's.

A hard thing to even.

Quantify it's kind of.

Like I mean in now in today's I always.

Always been, I mean I they call it like there's big T trauma and little T trauma.

But you know, I'm like, whatever trauma is trauma.

I don't think it's helpful to quantify.

And one of my many of my clients would say, well, yeah, that happened, but it's nothing like my friend who had this happen or you know, it's nothing like people that went through this, but I.

Always say.

You don't have to.

Compare trauma because there's always enough compassion.

You don't have to compare your trauma.

Is yours.

It's valid, that's all.

And being able to accept.

That and then deal with it and move on.

So helpful because when you start to say, well, it's not as bad as whoevers

Then you're minimizing what you went through and you're not getting you're not able to, like, deal with it and move on or reframe it.

It's invalidating.

I found that reframing helps me so much when I recognize that there was trauma in my life and well, it might not have been like.

Terribly horrible trauma to the next person down the road.

For me personally, it was very traumatic that reframing it and finding the gift because there's always a gift in there somewhere.

That's right.

That's right.

There's something that you can learn and we can take away and.

We can be.

Grateful for and that allows us.

To take the next step.

And to grow a little bit more.

Yeah. Yeah and.

I love that I always the reframing is important and I go another step where it's digested and integrated and a lot of that is somatic work.

Like finding where locating it in the body and then discharging it and you know so it's a really it's a process, but I think I mean you're right, it's that you do need to go through that to heal and to move on to continue evolving and that's the hard work.

You know it's not easy.

But it is so rewarding, right?

It is, it is, and you.

It makes a difference in the world because the next person that you run into.

You're not pushing whatever that trauma response is on them, you're able to kind to them and let them.

That's right. That's right.

Like it just kind of ripples out the.

Oh, it does.

Across the whole world and in terms of transgenerational trauma, you.

Know that's it carries forward so if.

You make changes in the family line of trauma, then you're stopping a whole system, you know, which is incredibly hard.

But we have that.

Power within us to do so.

If we look at ourselves and what's going on in yoga, the way to enlightenment is Svadhyaya, which is self study.

So it's.

You know, learning about yourself is the way to reach enlightenment.

And it's the way that.

The world will change.

As we aligned with who we are and what we want and how we want the world to look.

You're exactly right.

And we project that out.

It connects with the other energy that's out there and the world does change and it is.

Changing and it.

To me, it's really exciting because I just love the direction things are going right now.

I do too.

There's a lot of people who are just waking up to their to who they are.

Yeah. And that's so exciting.

And there's.

And there's people like you who are exposing the public to people, you know, who are in this process and helping people access that, you know, and find ways to discover themselves.

So I'm very grateful to you.

You know.

I appreciate that.

It's like it's really my honor to be able to talk to the coaches out there that are doing stuff and really providing solutions to.

To problems that people are just now realizing they need solved

Yeah, exactly.

And if they could solve these problems then then the next step is that.

You know, they're gonna just be better people.

And they're gonna.

That's right.

Live a better life, a better quality of life.

And life is going to be easier and more congruent with who they are.

And the relationships are entirely different on a, you know, first of all, there's going to be some relationships that you lose because you'll realize.

That's not it's not feeding you.

It's not serving a purpose.

And so and that's hard.

But it's.

What you have to do as you grow?

Because, I mean, if you're on this evolution path, getting better and healing and the other person isn't, it's.

Not going to work.

But then you draw in people.

Because yeah, your aura changes, so you're drawing in people who are going to nourish you and who you can nourish.

So that whole.

Process happens too in the meantime, yeah.

So beautiful.

Yeah. Yeah, it really is.

Before the show, we were talking a little bit about.

You were making an.

Offer to our listeners.

Yeah, I always like to be strange with things or so. Seven is my lucky number and I wanted to offer a free yoga session and also a free women's holistic coaching session. And I thought how?

Can I do this so?

The 7th person who contacts me through my website.

Gets to choose.

If they want yoga or coaching and then the 7th person who wants.

The other will get that.

So my website tulasoul.com, so that's TULASOUL.com and so there's a contact button.

Uh, contact me button on there and if you just want to send your e-mail and let me know.

What you would?

Like whether you want the yoga or the.

Coaching session and then I will let you.

Know if you.

Won or not?

And we'll go from there and.

This is for.

Those identifying as women only.

That sounds awesome and.

It will be online, the coaching.

Sessions online it's not like.

You don't have to travel to Doctor Jo's.

No, no, no.

I mean.

No, I just.

My office goes everywhere.

Don't you just love that?

I do.

I do.

It's very it's very handy.

So what's the one thing you want the audience to take away from this conversation today?

I want everyone to know that you have everything.

Absolutely everything you need within you.

To heal.

Everything and you deserve it.

You're worth it.

That's an important message, yeah.

That is a very important message.

And it's easy to hear.

But it's sometimes hard for people to actually.

Absorb and integrate.

That's a really good point.

Yes, it can go in here in your mind.

But to take it into your heart and into your soul is very hard.

But that's why you just keep telling yourself.

Sometimes you have to act.

As If, you know and just keep telling yourself, I love myself, I love myself.

At some point it is going to click.

It does. It does.

So we already told people how they could get in touch.

With your Contact button on your website

Yeah, exactly.

Definitely put the link in the description below.

Thank you so much for joining me today, Doctor Jo.

Thank you.

Oh, it has been my pleasure, Jill.

I appreciate you so much.

And thank you for listening.

And yeah, it's just been a pleasure.