Celia Barnsby – ReAwakening to your Soul’s Purpose

Hi and welcome to the You World Order Showcase podcast. Today we are talking with Celia Barsby. Celia is a creative visionary and now your cosmic soul guide. She creates a safe space for women seeking inner joy and connections to their own wisdom. And she's also the author.

The Garden Party, so excited to have you here. Celia. Thanks for joining me today.

Thank you, Jill. Thank you for having me in the.

I feel like I'm in.

A cold room that's come here. It's really exciting.

Combine that energy with gardens and who knows.

Where we will go.

Yeah, you got the.

Whole fairy look going on with your.

Magical hair and your.

Pink shirt. I was just telling you before.

The we started recording. I feel like you should have wings.

In a wand, just to complete the picture.

Ohh, maybe they're there and you just can't see them.

Ah, yeah, maybe they are.

For those of you listening in, just.

OK.

Picture them, OK.

So how did you get where you're?

At what's your story?

Tell us all about you.

OK, what's my story? Wow. How did I get here?

So I always.

Where does this story? Where does the story really?

Start and I guess.

My story starts when I was.

10 years old, living in a beautiful house in a.

Very I had.

A very idyllic childhood which was beautiful and, you know, I played for hours in the garden. That was my. That was my happy place, climbing trees and all of that. And my dad.

Very, very suddenly died of a heart attack. And so my world was literally turned upside down.

And I have learned.

Over the years of the trauma that that caused.

In back in the 70s, you know that was well, you just got on with it, didn't you? It wasn't recognized. There was no particular support or counselling. Was that just wasn't a thing and.

So it was it was.

Years later that I really was able to name.

That experience as trauma and understand the impact.

So the impact was this is, you know, I talk about the wounded stories, your deepest wound is your greatest medicine because what happened for me was that experience changed the way I saw the world. I keep touching my glasses.

It's a filter that we start to see the world through and here's the filter that was created for me. I was an only child, therefore it was.

All my fault.

The people you love will leave you.

That was my experience and so.

That's how I began to see relationships, so I wasn't going to let anybody get really close to me because my experience was.

The people you love will leave you.

And so that.

Impacted all of my relationships. Now let me just let me just say that this is with hindsight at the time, I didn't realise that this is a lot of work, a lot of processing has allowed me to change.

The way I see the world and understand those filters.

The years go by. I experienced, you know, we got married because that's what you did. You know, I did what I did what it was expected of me. I was still of the in the generation that, you know, you went to school. I did go to university. You got married and then you had kids and it was in that order.

Very much you.

God forbid you try to change.

Know I.

It up.

Ohh no, not at.

All. No, we you know, we act the good girl. But there was a you know there's the rebel inside. I talk about reawakening to your soul.

Us as being your authentic, rebellious, quirky self, and of course the rebel for many women has been suppressed over many generations.

So I did. You know, I did the thing and I got married. I have three beautiful children. And there came a point in my life when I went well. Is that it? You know, there must be. There must be something else. There must be.

War and I then went through the another trauma which was divorce. And again that old story starts to play out. You know the people you love will leave you. But I was going. No, this is my. This is my awakening. This is my breakthrough.

When we, you know, I've experienced depression, which the world calls a breakdown. I came.

To realise that.

No, that was my breakthrough. That was when I began to wake up.

And then.

I you know, I worked in education. I've sort of been a teacher.

Probably all my life.

No, let's make that definitely all my life because I used to. I used to play. I used to play teachers. That was my favorite game, you know? And I had dolls and teddies lined up and I used to. I had a blackboard and the whole thing. And I used to. I used to teach.

And that's what I love doing. I still love.

And I was working with some young people in a college, really helping them to think about their careers. What would they like to do, do the thing that lights them up and then I had that powerful realization that actually I.

Needed to respond to that. Call. That. And I remember going to my husband and saying I'm not going to resign today and he.

Went OK, and because he sensed there was an and I said. But I am going to resign after Christmas and that's what I did.

So that I could work with women who have similar experiences to me. I've been through a number of life experiences. I've reached now what I love to call my Crone years because I quite like that idea of being a Crone.

Lots of people vote.

I didn't give race it, I love.

Absolutely best, best years of my life and really share with women.

This part of my life.

The wisdom and medicine. And that's really where garden party comes in. That's, you know, I wrote my story and through that.

Emerged and I'm going to say that.

Deliberately what emerged was the wisdom from a gold charm bracelet that my dad had brought my mum and those 15 charms have created the cohesive transformational program that I.

Take women through.

Wow, that's so beautiful. I.

Love that it's connected to a bracelet and the bracelet has so.

Much meaning for you? Absolutely. Ohh yes.

There's that goes with chills.

Yeah, yes. Goosebumps all over, yeah.

Yeah. So that's sort of you know how I how I got to here.

Lovely. Just lovely.

Thank you. Thank you.

I'm still stuck on the gold bracelet and.

You're 15. You're 15 steps, so.

How did you?

Help women and how does that look in your coaching practice? Because you are a coach, so.

Yes, yes. Yeah. So I talk, you know, I say I'm a transformational coach because a friend kindly reminded me that I'm quite a disruptor. I do tend to turn people's views upside down.

You know, that's what I've done in my life and I think you know, because my life was turned upside down by that experience and it.

We experienced trauma in many different ways, but it's interesting how many of the women I work with have experienced childhood bereavement, have been through divorce, have got to that point in their life when they say, well, now what am I going to do?

Recognizing that you know it's not, we're not going to be tucked in a corner and wear beige. Now we want to light up the world with our passion, with our wisdom. What we have learned and sharing that and empowering other women. So that's, you know.

And I take my clients through those 15 steps, whether that's through the online program that I have or whether it's working on a more in depth personal way on a one to one basis.

Which is very powerful.

It is very powerful so most.

Of your coaching is done online then.

Yes, yes, absolutely. I think one, I mean, I think the whole COVID lockdown experience that turned the world upside down and opened it up so that we can work energetically with people through this, you know.

I mean, who would have thought?

That we would ever be doing that and we because we would have said, well, I have to be with somebody in the same room to sort of connect with them. And you go, no, I as you know, I've, I've, I've been working, you know, I mean, I feel that energy even on.

At even when I'm talking on.

Podcasts like this.

I connect with the host and you go. No, I can just feel all of that energy swirling around. We don't we, you know, we I think we.

So maybe we were very limited.

In what we what we thought.

We could do.

And so yes, that I work online, I work through zoom which does mean that.

I can connect.

With women all over the world, which is beautiful.

It's so beautiful that just.

I know COVID was meant for evil, but I think it just turned out to be a blessing all the way around. So many people have been able to step into their power and really.

Exposure for themselves and what they're doing and it.

It's just like.

It's why I named it the show the way I did. I was I was very disillusioned with life.

Before COVID and I really thought that we were not like, headed for the Cliff. I thought we'd gone over the Cliff and we're waiting till for the hard landing as a world.

Together and I blamed it on the new World order and just the.

The COVID was just like.

Ripped the Band-Aid off and people started.

Popping up and just like little bright lights all.

Over the world like.

It was a it was.

This is.

A signal.

Yeah. And it was worldwide. It wasn't just like in one country whole world, just like lit up.

Yes. Yeah.

And it is, it's a wake up, isn't it? It's a wake up because and people started really evaluating what was important in life. You know what really matters? What lights you up? You know, we don't want to have to keep going through the same old, same old, same old all the time. And.

And that's what's.

Fighting. And it's not without its challenges. You know, when we move through a that transformation, I talk one of the.

One of the.

Charms is called going through the mill.

And the actual charm is a little golden water mill. So an old fashioned mill. And of course that you know when we go through the mill, the process of going through the mill.

It's challenging, you know, it's. I use the symbolism and the imagery of that water milk and it is noisy and it is messy and it is dusty and a little bit smelly and there may be rats, you know it's hard work.

But if you are going to convert and change and transmute that, that alchemy that word wants to come in that transformation of grain into flour.

Then you've got to do the work.

And that's where the transformation is. And of course, we have the beautiful symbolism of the water mill and the water and being in flow and allows the water and that mill wheel to turn and resilience you have the pressure. You know there's so much that.

We learn when we move through those times that you know, we talk about in, in, in world season, we're going through a tough time and you go well, that's where the transformation can happen.

If we choose to accept it, if we choose to accept that and.

Go right. OK. Ohh.

What am I learning? What am I learning here?

Because I think the whole journey is a learning one, I think that I think.

That's what we're here to do.

We are here to.

Live and to learn and to share and to be connected and to.

Create this beautiful tapestry where everyone is significant and everyone is beautiful in their own their own thread is amazing.

But they're one.

Piece of a much larger picture and.

If we can appreciate.

Each individual thread, it makes the entire picture just so much more spectacular in my.

Opinion. I love that you're talking about threads because I'm.

Going to read you a quote.

I uh, I use the symbolism of so I worry I wear a red thread on my wrist, which is the red thread connection and just going to find the page in the book which talks so.

There's a Chinese proverb.

But this is the way my book works, by the way different it says. Let's do this. What we're going to talk about this one and I go and I have to respond quite quickly and go. Oh, yes, right, right. OK. So the red thread is found in many cultures on this page. I'm. I'm just going to read from that page.

At the moment.

The red thread is found in many cultures and traditions, is often connected to the red tent, the hem of the garment, the thread of the sacred mother, and many other ideas. And the Chinese legend says this. We are all connected before birth by an invisible red.

Thread to all that.

We are meant to meet in this life.

This thread may stretch and tangle, but it is never broken and we accept responsibility for our peace of the red threat. So I love that thread. That is, you know, running through this conversation. And when we understand that.

We are responsible for our peace then actually.

That's incredibly releasing and freeing because we're not worrying not going all, what about that bit? And ohh well, I've got to do that as well. Go. No, I just have to look after my piece, you know, it's very much. I love the symbolism of gardens, obviously. And you're going.

I just have to look after my garden.

You know, and that then?

Feeds into the bigger picture.

It's so empowering.

When you recognize that you don't have to be responsible for everybody else.

Even your children, your children.

Have their own mission and they are their own thread and.

They're on their own journey and I believe that they picked the journey that they're going to be on and the traumas that I've inflicted on and trust me, I know I have inflicted on them all.

And I got plenty to show.

For it, but it's.

It's what they're going to do with the trauma.

Yeah, yeah.

It and it's, you know, I.

Love that that.

That that sort of topic has come up because I too, you know, you know we've not met before. We met randomly and we go well. Nothing's random. You know, it's that red thread connection we are destined to meet and have this conversation.

That, you know, we sign up in this life.

For our soul to grow.

And for me, you know, I talk about finding your soul purpose. What is it? You're here to cause and create in this lifetime. And imagine going to school and always being given the same thing. And you, you just keep doing the same thing and you don't. You never get stretched, you never learn.

Anything new?

And of course, we learn by the things we can't do. We learn through our shadow. We learn through the.

The trauma, the difficulties, the challenges, because that's how we learn as humans, you know, I imagine a world where we didn't, where, you know, we just learned. I can't. I can't even imagine it, because that's what we're here to do in this, in this human experience that we're having.

You were talking.

Yeah, you were talking about the kernels of wheat, which are hard. Most people don't realize wheat is a it's a C.

And it's hard. It's got a hard shell on it. And in order to make it into flour, it has to be ground. And when you're talking about the water mill in the old days, it the water mill actually made the stone go around a Crucible that ground.

These hard kernels into soft.

It's more like brown because it had the brand in it. Still it our white wheat is very processed and it has lost the germ and the bran pieces of the shell and the actual seed part. That is what Sprouts life.

Yeah, we.

Yeah, absolutely, yes.

And the and you know and it is that sense of being cracked open and you know for those of us that have, you know and there are still times there were.

Still, you know periods that that we move through. We oh, oh, I'm going through another cracking open because there's that, you know, there's more. There's a deeper awakening that wants to karma deeper spiritual understanding.

And as you say, you know, it is the flower that makes the bread which sustains life and that that wheat germ which creates the new life. Uh, I mean it's.

Just ohh.

So exciting.

And it goes back to your garden theme too, because we.

Weed is a.

It's a plant and it grows and.

And that that.

Colonel of wheat.

If you can sprout it.

We do weird things around here because we're country folk, but we seeds and once they start sprouting you can dry them and grind that and make bread out of.

You just.

That which I've also done, and it's much more powerful because a lot of the energy of the seed is in the bursting forth of life. So when you eat things that are sprouted, you just sprouted. You're being able to absorb that energy into your body.

But there's a magic element to that.

Yes. Yeah, yeah. That it. Yes. And it's that that.

That initial that, that first growth.

And it and it is, you know we.

There's something that wants to come about, you know, we get so impatient with what we want to do this and.

We and.

Seasons want to I'm feeling called to talk about the seasons of life that.

We move through.

Cause here in the UK, you know I'm we're about to go in at time of recording we're about to go into winter and into that slower darker place.

And of course, if we don't do that, if we try and keep going and going, Oh well, you know, we've got to do. We don't have the same energy as we.

Do in the summer and.

If we don't do that, then we burnout.

And I speak from the experience.

I've you know, yes.

Hands up who? Who?

Who try to keep going and, you know, do the same thing all year round and you go, no, if we don't allow those seeds to rest, we don't allow the bulbs. I've got bulbs in my garden that have been resting.

All summer.

And they will start to come to life in the early spring, but they've, you know, I've not insisted that they keep growing all year and that that whole, you know, the whole imagery around planting seeds in the dark in the mud.

In the mucky places, that's where you plant, that's where you start to and allowing things to germinate. There's some interesting words want to come in.

Germination process, even that it's absorbing the water it has to.

Soak up a.

Bunch of water burst and then the germination process happens.

Yeah. Oh, I love that. That's yeah. So some beautiful. I mean, This is why I think, you know, the garden imagery nature is just never ending and never ending. Source of inspiration to me.

I used to think of I love to garden also and I've gone from, you know, you have to have rose to my. My yard is a garden. I don't let my husband mow until the flowers are done blooming in the grass, which is like mostly weeds, but I get purple flowers and I get.

That's fine.

Actually I get a bunch of different kinds of purple flowers that just come up with the grass as it's coming up and I let the grass all go to seed before we mow it the first time and I don't know these things that.

I do with my yard but.

I just I love.

I love the garden and that it teaches us so many things. It teaches us how to we can live in communion with it or we can fight with it like that.

I used to try to fight against the weeds.

Now I live in communion with. Some of them have areas.

That I will work really hard to protect.

Other plants around but.

Yeah, a beautiful symbolism is I have tried many times to grow things that don't want to grow in my garden.

And I go.

Oh, I really like. I really like those plants, you know.

And how?

We do this in life. We go.

Oh, I really like what that person's doing.

What I'd like.

To do and you go. Yeah, but that's not part of your garden. And when I actually.

Stopped trying to grow things that were not right for my soil and my climate, so ohh that's really interesting. The other things really thrive, so let's grow the things that are thriving in our gardens rather than to mimic somebody elses.

That's a lesson I have learned over the years.

I love that lesson and I can relate to it and I think that was kind of where I was trying to go with my other comment where you know.

You just.

Sometimes you have.

To you can have an idea, and you definitely need to have an.

Idea of what you.

Want but sometimes just stepping back a little bit and.

And seeing what's coming.

We have a saying around here. Stuff comes up, volunteer.

It it's like I.

Had a.

Bumper crop of tomatillos and I planted no tomatillos this year. They sprung up everywhere from last year or the year before. I guess when I planted them, there were a bunch of them and the seeds.

Moved all over the place. I have lettuce that grows in my grass sometimes.

I have I have garden beds but there was there was a patch of lettuce. It's like hey.

Brilliant. I love that.

Yes, I mean it's, you know.

It there. But you know what is growing.

What is growing in my garden? What is thriving in my garden that's you know. And I think sometimes we can.

Because there's beautiful.

Symbolism of the plants and you know, when I go out in the gardens, I listen to the birds. I've got some Magpies who visit who are quite noisy and chattery.

And sometimes, if I'm they, they always support me. But if I'm having a bit of.

A you know?

Oh my goodness. I don't know I'm doing or I'm. I've lost. You know that little bit of connection all of a sudden there's the magpie and I go. Right. OK. I need to stop and I need to listen.

I have a squirrel who visits. I'm assuming as I don't know if it's a he or she, but they visit and that to me is a symbol I need to play more. I that squirrel is very powerful symbol for play and fun. Plus all of the resourcing and all that.

And so my garden.

Supports me in so many ways like that.

But yeah, grow, grow what you.

Know have a look. Have a look around your.

Garden. What is what?

Is growing. What is driving? What needs to rest?

What needs to be released? What has you know?

What needs to be pruned?

Where do you need to do some weeding? Yeah.

Yeah. And are the weeds beneficial?

Are they? Are they serving a purpose? Because sometimes weeds can serve a purpose. Even if you think that you want something else to go there.

Yeah. Yeah, it's yes, absolutely. I mean, and actually, what is a weed? A weed is just something that you decide isn't shouldn't be in in that place. You know, I too had a little patch of wildflower garden and long grass that I persuaded my husband not to know.

And he's going Oh well.

You know, it's not going to look very neat.

Not very tidy, and fortunately my very intuitive cat decided that she quite liked.

It in there.

So she would go and she would curl up and make a little bed in.

Long grass and where I.

Was about to fail because.

The cat liked it, then it didn't get it. Oh, well, if she. If she likes it.

And we'll leave it so it's.

It's beautiful because there's dogs.

And all sorts of insects and wildlife that come.

So yes, but.

Yes, lots and lots of symbolism of.

The garden.

Of it, it teaches us so much. The closer we get to the dirt, I think the more connected we are to ourselves and to others.

Yeah, just yeah. And it, you know, I've there's a whole.

Charm, which is all about the shadow and the muddy. I talk about my experience of when I moved through depression for the second time, and of course I then recognised it and I.

Went on ohh no.

I'm, you know, gonna slide down this muddy slope in and ohh what's gonna happen and.

I actually had creativity as one of the tools in my medicine basket by the.

And so I started.

I went for walks and I painted with the mud that was around me and sort of, you know, dipped my finger in the muddy pools and I created my own muddy colours. And then I went, why, you know, we went on holiday and we went to some mud baths, and that was really fun.

That was, you know, that was hilarious and cleansing. And so the symbolism of mud.

Became a powerful symbol to say, actually that's where the transformation can go. You know, the beautiful phrase? No mud, no.

Lotus the Lotus grows when it's got its roots deep in the mud. Deep in that deep connection with mother Earth.

I love that. I love that. How?

I don't know.

Gardens, trees, plants. They just.

They bring us so much nutrition air.

And we are so connected to them.

Absolutely, absolutely, yeah.

But just to turn.

Our focus to them and to use them as a guide for.

Creating the life that we want to live.

And I think in the you know the, the rhythm I talk about create you know create your own creating your magic, sort of making a wish but using that with the rhythm of the moon cycles and the rhythm of nature rather than.

Trying to fight against it, you know, as women, we're very we're very used to cycles and you know when our energy is high and when we need to rest.

And for generations, we haven't been able or given permission to listen to our bodies in that way. So we, you know, we have to keep going and then we get accused of not being, you know, on it all the time.

Yeah, that's probably a whole other conversation. And you know, I love work. The more I've worked with the moon cycles and the phases of the moon.

Soon then you start to really see how manifesting works because you're creating an alignment and with the universe. So yeah, that's a another little charm.

Goes right back to the garden again because there's times during the moon cycle.

That it's better to plant in than other times.

Yes. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. And the ancients.

Knew that you know, they we've lost.

Well, I don't think we've lost the wisdom, but it's got a bit buried, but I think it's I think it's.

Beginning to surface, yeah.

Making a comeback.

Yeah, I think so. I think so, yeah.

It used to be that.

It wasn't modern to garden, and it wasn't modern to you know.

Grow your own food or make your.

Own food it was, you know, the TV dinners and.

I think our moms were kind of.

Sold a bill of goods honestly, that they weren't enough that they needed to be a certain way, and if they weren't that way and that, you know, there was something fundamentally wrong with them if they weren't modern and they didn't embrace the modern stuff, which was really just a ploy to sell them crap.

Absolutely, absolutely yes. And there is that, you know, it feeds into that. You know you're not good enough and I'm. And then then if you're not doing that then then we translate that into I'm not enough and you know a lot of the work I do.

Is around changing and those limiting beliefs and the old stories and turning that around and going. No, you know we are we are.

We are enough.

I'm and I don't have to do anything to be amazing. I just am amazing and that's I love that affirmation that.

Is linked to my keys.

I yes, I love that too. I know that you offer people a free gift about.

The start of their journeys do you want?

To talk about that a little bit.

Yes, I'd love to. You know this is this is a thank you. Thank you for having me. It's a bit like a garden, you know. Yeah. You're gonna have a party back. And you if you go to if you come to the garden party and. And so I have a little free gift you will receive the start of the.

Benny Workbook because I am a teacher and I ask you to do some work because that's where we where we experience the change. So the start of the journey really gets you thinking about where am I now.

Where do I want to go more? How do I want to feel? Where do I want? You know, what do I what do I want to feel like a year from now? And I talk about, you know, if you think about a GPS system sat NAV, we call it in the UK, but the GPS system, the first thing you put in.

Is your destination.

This is how I this is where I want to be but in my terms it's. How do I want to feel in a year's time. You know this time next year, 12 months time, same season because you know I think that's important to acknowledge that seasonal feeling and then you would enter.

Where are you now?

You go. Oh, OK. Well, I want to be here, but I'm over here at the moment and then I talk about the resources, you know, how are you gonna get there? Are you resourced for your journey? For me? If I'm going on a journey, I like to make bacon sandwiches. That for me is I'm going on a journey, you know. And we have a. Are you resourced?

Are you fuel?

Pulled up or has your car run out of fuel and you're or you're broken down at the side of the road. So I get you through journaling prompts to actually reflect on all of that. And then there's an invitation to come and have a chat in my virtual garden about what comes up for you. So that's where we that's my gift.

To you, to encourage you to think about the start of your journey, because often we feel.

A sense of dissatisfaction, or we or a pull. It's not. It's not a, it's a. It's a tug of. I want to be somewhere else. I want to feel something different, but we don't know how to get started. And so that's. That's my gift.

Party favors.

Party. Yeah. Party bags, party favours, party favours, others. And I've learned a new word.

Absolutely love it.

So, Celia, what's the one thing that you'd like to?

Leave the audience with today.

Well, I'm going to go back to the phrase that your deepest wound is your greatest medicine. That is the. That is where my book starts.

And it's really interesting actually, that was what?

That's what I thought. That's what I thought I was going to say. My book has other ideas. So here's the quote I that is important. That is in what I will continue that that.

We often don't understand. We don't realize what it is that we have that is special and that's often come through a wounded story. But I'm going to read you a little, a little poem that that this is what wants to be seen and heard in this particular.

In this particular podcast.

OK, you were born to spread your wings, climb up high on the warm winds born to see the world and touch the breeze to follow.

Where it's going.

To fly just like an eagle.

You were born to spread your wings.

So that's my invitation is this is this is what we're invited to do.

To fly.

I love that and I.

I am inspired by your ability to just let.

The book tell you what should be said, I've learned.

Last time.

I've learned to listen to my book.

So gorgeous. Thank you so much, Celia, for joining me today. This has been a great adventure.

Thank you so much for having me.

Thank you, Jill. It's been brilliant.