Carrie Allen – Redefining Workplace Authenticity

Hello and welcome to today's episode of the You World Order Podcast showcase. I'm your host, Kasey Lian, and I am Super, super excited for today's episode because we are speaking to Carrie Allen. She is coach and owner of the Human Array. She's amplifying human potential.

Through the power of.

Community. I love this. I'm so excited.

Welcome.

Hi, Kasey. I'm so excited to be here today.

This is so awesome. You can just literally just jump right in because I'm super excited to hear what you have to say and hear your story. So the floor is yours.

Awesome. Well, I'm so excited to be here and share this story because as you can hear, my purpose is really to amplify human potential. And I think the first part of that is actually learning how to be vulnerable and transparent with where we are. So I'd love to share a little bit about how I got to where I am, which is.

Not an easy story to tell sometimes because I started my business roughly 2 years ago after being in a toxic workplace and I really believe that I was meant to be there to really kind of kick me into getting into this business and finally taking the plunge. The concept and the idea of the human array.

Has been germinating. Probably most of my life. If I was really honest about it, but it came to light in my career as I was fortunate to have several mentors who are.

Guided and coached me on my career and next steps and positions etc. As a whole human, which I feel is very rare in the business world today where most mentors are either matched to you. You don't really create that whole human connection in which they're able to say to you.

Maybe this company is not a right fit for you anymore and as I experienced that in my own career.

They also realized that lots of other people didn't have that they didn't have that support system to help them figure out what was best for them in their life, whether that's their career, family placement, et cetera. And so I went through my career thinking, OK, I'm going to start this company.

I really want to bring mentorship in a really positive, non biased way outside of the organization to.

The world and I went through this toxic workplace and it really amplified it for me because I built my team that way, talking to my team about their whole selves, what was feeling good for them, what wasn't. And yet the leader that I was under did none of that and led through what I consider to be.

Toxic leadership stemmed from insecurity.

And so as I experienced this, I kind of became a shell of a human. I was a robot. I had. My body was kind of freaking out, telling me all the things like, get out, get out, get out, get out. And I couldn't hear it. I was fortunate to live in some crazy world where I was like, I'm going to start this business on.

The side so.

I hired my own coach to help me with that and the first session, she said to me. Can we just do a meditation? And sure enough, I cried through the entire thing and so that was a really pivotal moment for me to say. I have to get out of this situation if I'm going to do anything.

And just find myself again. And so the last two years has been a journey of finding myself navigating. How do I bring this business into existence? And so.

I've been coaching for the last two years. Clients really doing what I've done for over 20 years in my career of clarity. What? What do you want? How does this fit into your?

Life society may say you need to climb the ladder. You need to make certain amount of money, but where do you really want your career to fit in your whole life? It isn't life and work right? It's your life and work is a piece of the pie. So I've helped clients with that. And then as I've continued to charge down this path, I've realized.

Ohh hey community is such an important element of this, whether that's in the workplace, whether that's at home, I'm a parent, and so finding other parents that are dealing with similar things. And so I realized really what I want to do is yes, help so many people get to this realization of what's a good fit.

For them. And how can we do that in mass? We can help bring back the true authentic community. That's.

Like an ancient truth that we've lost. And so for me, that's where I'm headed now. I'm still coaching. I'm still supporting others, and I'm bringing people together that have common passions or common challenges. Or maybe it's even proximity, like a neighborhood. How do we actually learn how to be in community again?

In a way where we can be authentically ourselves. And I think that's pretty rare today. We've watered down the term community. I ended up on somebody's e-mail list the other day because I wanted to join their community and I was like, well, this this is not a community.

This is an e-mail list.

And so I really want to bring back kind of the tenants of true community, how we gather together, how we can actually support each other through that authenticity and ultimately help us as a society bring that back so that we don't feel so isolated. We're not alone. Somebody else is dealing with the same thing.

With us, and I believe if we can connect those people, we can truly bring out the best in everyone. So that's what I'm working.

On I love it. I absolutely love it and it takes me back to.

What I studied in college, what I studied in college was sociology, and that was the.

Study of groups.

And it was always fascinating to me because.

You know, I I'm assuming you see this that we act very, very different on individual level then when we're in a group setting. Now whether that's within.

A sporting team, whether it's in a work community. So like all these relationships and groups, you, you're almost a different person. And when you're in groups, you tend to lose your individuality. Do you see that a lot?

Absolutely, absolutely. This actually came up for me personally, where I would be in a group of moms and I would feel like.

I don't.

Feel good like this doesn't resonate for me in that way like I'm changing myself to be in the space. Why? And so I just started to get curious. Like, why do I feel that way? Why can't I be me? What is that? And that's continued to push me towards, OK, we've kind of forgotten how to be ourselves. Yeah.

Yeah. And I think that what resonates.

With me also is.

That image of.

And the feeling that I got when you immediately said, you know, a toxic environment in your workspace, because work just for most of us obviously is a huge part of our lives. We all have different parts of our lives. But work is just like a huge, huge part and.

I can relate.

Because I was in a very similar experience.

And was you?

Know I had to be there. I.

Was a single mother at the time and it.

Was, you know, I needed that paycheck and was taking care.

Of two small kids and.

It you were, I was a robot.

Yeah, you nailed it with that because I was a robot and I was completely different person and that.

Experience that environment changed me in so many other.

Portions of my.

Life. So I would have friends and family say like you know, is everything OK? Like you don't seem like yourself. Like what's going on because it was like.

Yeah. And so internal because it was. So it was such a poor experience. Do you find that if you're in situations like that, that it's it just bleeds over to?

The other portions.

Of your life. And how does that affect?

How do you feel it affects people's lives?

One of the things that happened to me when I was in that kind of in the trenches, if you will, my son said to me, mommy, why don't you smile?

It's like I smile all the time. I'm a smiley person and everybody's always said that about me. Like you're always smiling. And I was like, so.

What are you?

Talking about kids sure have a way of seeing past the facade, right? And I experienced that with my clients too. That will we'll be focused on talking about.

Work and what's happening at work and they're reflecting actually back to themselves, what's happening through their experiences at home, right. Like, I can't do this or I don't have the energy or.

My relationship is in conflict right now and really a lot of that is coming from inside them because they're in an environment that's not a good fit for them and they can't. They don't have anywhere to.

Be themselves and I.

My son said that actually to me twice the first time I dismissed it, he doesn't know what he's talking about. The second time he said it, I had already started to kind of recognize what was happening and then it broke me and it was like, yeah, this is, I can't. This is not acceptable, right?

I see this in how so many people come to work. They bring only a part of themselves. This is what's needed for me, for this job, right? Don't talk about this. Don't talk about the fact that I'm a parent like that may cause ripples at work. Or I might be viewed differently. Or it might be a problem for me.

And when I hear those things, it literally makes my whole body light up on fire because I'm like, that's the opposite of how it should.

We should be our whole selves and that's a really hard thing to do in this environment. And so we have to take baby steps to get there. But I believe that if we can start to bring leaders in that are secure in the fact that, hey, this is a person who has a whole life, their dedication is not to this job. It's a part of them. And if we allow them.

To bring more of themselves.

You might even find ways that they can actually better do their work, because we're seeing, oh, you know what, that parent that has all these things at home, that's a whole bunch of power skills that that parent has that they can bring to the workplace if we allow them to express that part of their lives there as well.

Right. And so I think that's really an.

Important step for this.

I love that because you know, I'm thinking back to and it's so funny because my visual after you say that is all of the times that I've been in, say, in interview and.

I feel like that would be such an asset.

Or whatever position that you are trying to attain, right? If a leadership or a.

Manager who is.

Interview now I understand that like they're not allowed to ask personal information. I get that like there's a line there. But I feel like that's so much part of who that person is that you really, truly are then going to know the type of person that you're hoping to fill this possible.

Right and.

Having someone just prove their resume or prove that they can work in spreadsheets or prove that they're you know that they have the certifications and you know on paper.

Everybody looks good, right? When?

They're coming into a position, whether it's their schooling and education and their background.

But we never really.

As a community or a society.

Ask about those other things because you're right. If someone is a parent, you know that that's a responsible person. I mean, that's just like #1, right? It's not like, you know, something like that, you know. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

And you want someone that's happy. Do you find that?

A lot of.

Like I guess.

When you're trying to not hide your individuality, but like somehow you're suppressing your individuality, right? Do you find that that then?

Sometimes brings on some.

Mental issues, correct? I would imagine that's.

A lot of.

Pressure that someone that's on themselves and.

Do you see?

A lot of your clients struggling with either stress, anxiety, depression and things like that because they're not maybe able to.

Show their full selves.

Yeah, I. So I shared a little bit about how I started my like my client as a coaching experience. And I will say that most of my clients come to me in the same state. I can't tell you the number of times we've started our work together with that person just crying because.

They they've bottled it all up, right? It's not acceptable to show this at work. It's not acceptable to and feel this distress that I feel inside of me. I don't know what it is. I kind of call it the swirl, right? And sometimes that swirl has gotten so big that we literally have no idea where it's coming from.

Because it's impacting all of the things in our lives, our health, our Wellness, our families, our relationships and just our mental well-being right of I can't even figure out how to start. Where do I even start to make progress towards that.

And I will say too.

That I think if you are an in tune leader in the workplace, you can see that because that person starts to ask questions in a very different way, right, or starts to explore things. Maybe if you're open to it, they do it with you. If they don't, you feel like they're starting to hide things, right.

Something is off for them and we have that intuition. We have that gut feeling that Spidey feeling, whatever you want to refer to it, it does exist.

For all of us.

I believe we need to better tap into that, both as leaders and as ourselves in those environments, because if it's, if there's friction in there, let's start asking questions as.

To why that is.

And if we can actually bridge those conversations at work without worry about repercussions, just saying like.

Something feels off.

I don't. I don't know what it is, but it doesn't feel right and that's that part of how do we bring our whole selves. And so I think you see so much of that in the world right now from the great resignation, all the great things that are happening.

Because there isn't that actual human connection at work.

We are afraid to share that something doesn't feel right and.

Whether that's the actual leader that they are working for or it's the organization itself that's creating that environment, I think individuals don't feel safe by sharing, hey, something feels off when I believe if we actually flip the script and say let's focus on the people having the people do their best work.

Like we'll create magical things, right? Rather than focusing on the numbers. And you said this about the resume and interviews etcetera. And I think one thing that I see in the world that is part of this shift in changes.

Fewer of us work on assembly lines, right? We don't build widgets. We aren't robots to do the same task here and there. Now it's about mind.

Heart, et cetera. That's going into the work. And so it's a very different work experience. Then I go and I stand and I build something or I follow instructions right now. You do want to interview somebody, you do want to know who they are, what essence and purpose they bring to this workplace.

Where they fall as far as what's important to them.

Other things in their lives, right, because.

You want to work with somebody that's going to be able to meld with you in a really positive way. And I think that that is a really tough transition for us to make as a society. And I think we're in that kind of liminal space right now. It's no longer this, but we haven't quite figured out how to get to the next stage yet.

Yeah, I agree with you 100% and it's so funny because every time I talk to somebody, you know and I have a conversation on the.

Podcast and you.

Know it opens my eyes to so many things and it also triggers not a bad way. Yeah, but it triggers memories in certain situations. You know from the past and.

You know, it seems kind of like a no brainer that if you have somebody.

Who's at peace? Who's?

You know, OK to you know.

Be themselves at work that you would actually get a more productive person, and then when you have a happy, positive, more productive person that's going to.

Kind of bleed over to a coworker and then that's going to bleed.

Over the code. So you would think that.

You know, and I think companies from the.

Most part try to do things.

Right. So I remember in the specific.

Role that I was talking about that like I just felt like my life was deflated out of me every time I went. Every time I woke up and I knew I had to go to this place.

And they did try, but at.

A corporate level.

They tried, so it was. Let's have.

A you know, an employee bowling night or let.

You know, lunches on us today and we're bringing in the BBQ, you know, and things which is great. You know, those things were always very, very nice. But it was never on an.

Individual level.

It was never on an individual level and it was OK. That's cool. You know, having a Taco truck come or, you know, having an ice cream truck come.

Every couple months it was something morale.

You know they, you know, obviously.

They were trying to increase morale.

But I love how you're tapping into the individual and how.

If you have a person in a leadership role.

Where they're able to recognize.

It could be a top employee that's struggling with something and internalizing and not comfortable voicing that maybe fear of their job. Maybe fear of being judged, maybe fear. You know, the list can be endless for any.

Person's reason.

You know, and that person's going to.

Withdraw you could.

Lose. I mean, how many times have companies or businesses lost a fantastic employee or team member?

Because of that, and maybe they didn't even realize, you know, it's like, you know, I don't want to talk bad about, you know, business and even the individual cause, I think on an individual level, I wasn't realizing that.

Yeah, I was feeling.

And that.

Right.

Until after I left.

Yes. And I was like.

Ohh I was.

Like Ohh that was the issue there it was. It was that you know. But I'd love how you're creating the conversation of it because it's.

It's sparking things in people's heads like, oh, that's OK, that's OK if I.

And This is why I think it's so hard to change, right? So this transition is really, really challenging for us because it isn't.

Oh, pizza party. Ohh. Beer cart, right? Like all these employee perks that have been kind of the trendy thing. Until the pandemic. Then all of a.

Sudden it's like well wait.

I don't care about pizza.

Parties that actually isn't valuable to.

Me and the truth.

Is that's because that's an easy an easier. It doesn't mean that there isn't in good intention behind it, but in order to actually make this individual shift, that needs to happen, it has to happen at every layer and every individual of the company, right? And so I talk about embodied leadership, and this is one of those key tenants.

Of community which is embodying it so.

I can say I want you to have a good work ethic. I want you to have a good work life balance. I hate that phrase, by the way, because.

They're not opposite, they're together. But yeah, I can say all of those things, and if I am sending emails on Saturday night or if I am.

Demanding things over the weekend or asking people to stay late, I'm talking the talk, but I'm not walking the walk right? And so as a leader, can you embody these tenants of a true community? Can you be transparent? Can you be open and honest? And this is where I think insecurity runs a bit rampant.

In the workplace because.

It's a it's a long history of where we've gotten to here, and if those a lot of those leaders that are leading the top of the organization have big teams, et cetera, have been modeled.

This you have to get things done, create deadlines, motivate the team by telling them it's really important what I kind of refer to as fake urgency, right? And so much of that comes from never say you don't know.

And the truth is, none of us know we don't know everything, and that is the way we should be is curious, interested, wanting to explore different aspects of things, learning from each other. And if you don't experience that from a leadership perspective, if that leader is constantly telling you.

No, I know best you don't know because you don't have the years of experience or I hold this title or I make so much money, then it all comes from the fact that they believe that they have to have the answers. And so that also translates into that walking the walk. Right because.

I may be a CEO, but I'm a first time CEO, which means I.

Have a lot to learn.

This is my.

First day as a CEO, I'm probably feeling nervous and scared, right? How can I actually share?

That because you.

Know what that provides for the whole?

Team oh hey.

I'm a human too.

And I've been working hard in my career and I'm taking the next step and I have a lot to learn still and that opens up a whole opportunity for the whole organization to function differently.

And that's very hard because there's especially in bigger organization that requires a lot of work. But if we could start to create this embodied leadership of what does that really mean, how do I?

Say I don't know, just starting with I don't have to have the answers to everything.

And that creates this community, that team effort that is I consider circular rather than triangular, hierarchical right. And so the more we can start to step into that.

Even just little.

Moves of creating that authenticity, that truth of hey. Yeah, I'm running out to go to my kids baseball game because that is.

Important to me.

Period doesn't mean work's not important to me, but my kids baseball game is also important to me because and is the connecting factor right there, right. And so I see how hard it is. I commend those that are trying to make these steps towards it. It's why I am a coach. It's why I am so.

Grateful to this huge shift in the world where there are so many people wanting to coach and create this new way of being together, and I'm, I'm really hopeful that we're going to keep making these changes and it's still really hard in the process.

Yeah. And I think that you know.

I believe.

That we're in the.

We're going in the right direction.

And I believe that while it might take some time, I think that.

Having people with open minds and understanding the different aspects of life and understanding that if I came in that that, that comfortableness if I did like to your example, if I did come to my boss and say.

Hey, you know, my kid has soccer game this evening and you know I'm. I'm just going to have, you know, can I?

Like you're going to have that person.

That is also on a human level because just because they're.

Your boss or they're the.

CEO or their whatever role they are, they're individual too, and they have other parts of their life too.

I think so much fear is so involved with.

You know the worry of if I ask for this because when you really think about it, I'm just coming to, you know, I'm a parent going to another parent and most in most cases. So I love that. I love that realization. I love how.

Exactly, yeah.

At your at the coaching, at your level of starting from, from that level I think is really, really beneficial because I think sometimes the, you know the employee and I'm not lessening that title.

But the employee would feel so much more at ease, and I think in that position it's a much better feeling to go into a job or you know, an environment that you have to be in to.

Feel more at peace.

Yeah. So when I come.

Yeah, yeah, no, go ahead. Yeah.

Back I.

I agree. I want to come back to what you just said about have to be in and I.

Think that.

This is a big UMA big piece for me in how we actually make this shift in change and so.

I've started doing this meditation for both my clients and kind of sharing this out in the world which.

Is how do?

We actually start to feel what it feels like in our body to be in a place that does resonate for us, right. So we start to use this word and it's really, I'm so glad that as a society, we're using the word resonate right.

And let's remember what that actually means. I feel it in my body, whether I'm in a space that's right for me or not. And we have to start trusting that sensation.

So this meditation is intended to help you connect to that feeling, feel it, and then also feel what it's like when you're not in a space that feels aligned for you. And if we can do that, then we can say if I'm in this work environment, it does not feel right.

Can I trust that if I leave and find the thing that is right for me that that?

Feeling in my body is going to guide me in the right direction, right? And so, yes, we need to make all these shifts and changes from how we are together in community, how we participate, how we lead, how we come together and the most important Community is right inside of you.

You have all this knowledge right inside of you, and if we can trust that sensation in our body to say.

This is not right.

And if I keep working against that, it just grows because it's trying to tell you it's not the right space for you, and that can be scary. And if we can start to trust that, how can we actually find spaces that are aligned to us at this moment and that also will make big shifts as a society because.

The more that the employee or the individual starts to align to those things, you start to see this shift in an organization where the people that are aligned with the mission, the culture, et cetera.

Will be in that organization rather than working with employees that are not aligned to that organization, right? But that it requires the individual to do the work too. So it has to happen kind of on both sides of the spectrum. And that's why I think that this meditation is so valuable to trust it, to feel it, to really feel it in your body. This is what it feels like.

When I'm in a space that's safe and good for me, and this is what it feels.

Like when I don't.

And to me, that's an important step in.

All of this.

Because that can be.

Applied to. OK, I recognize my job is not a good.

Place for me. I can't just quit.

We don't all have that ability and I can start interviewing. OK, great. Bring that sensation to each of those interviews. Sometimes we lead with this running from rather than running towards, and if you actually bring that into your body.

And say I'm in this in.

Are you? Ohh, this feels awesome. I like what? They're.

Saying it doesn't even have to be like, well, what was it that they said? It doesn't matter. You feel it in your body that it's a.

Line for you. Great follow.

That rather than OK, I have to get out. I.

Have to get out. I have to get out. Then you're just going to land in another space that's not aligned to you anymore. So trust what you're feeling.

That sensation and bring that into an interview as well. So I think that that's a key component to reshaping how we work and live by actually trusting what we feel in our body.

I love that because I think most of us.

Can agree and most of the.

Listeners probably would agree after they listen to this.

We tend to just push our emotion.

Out of it and just got like.

Guide ourselves with.

OK, I just have to do this. I have to work. I have to make a.

Living I have to so.

Yeah, that was so perfect. What you said was you don't want to land in.

Another situation and.

Be in the same spot as you were and we have to get away from.

I think as a whole.

That we have to start.

Listening to our bodies and that's not something.

That should be.

Taboo anymore? It's not taboo. It's OK to listen to your, you know, it's OK to move on from something. Yes, change is scary.

But if it means that you're going to be more at peace and you're going to be in a better spot, it's just going.

To affect your.

Life much better.

I love it. I absolutely love what you're doing. So why don't you tell everybody where they can go to get in contact?

With you.

Amazing. Yes. Uh, so you can find me on Instagram at the human array. You can find me on LinkedIn. Uh slash Carrie Allen, 12. And then you can also find me. My website is the human array dotcom, and we're working to bring people together that resonate with this sense of.

How do we?

Shift into this way of being together as a community in an authentic way.

Which trickles into all the pieces. And so if that resonates with you, I'd love for you to come there, reach out to me. My e-mail is on the website as well, and I'd love.

To have another conversation.

I love it. I love that this is becoming conversation and it's becoming OK to talk about yes, and I think it's a little bit at least on for me personally.

It it's almost like a relief because I think a lot of feelings, like I said before, are held down and.

Squashed down because.

You're supposed to feel that way. You're.

Supposed to just do what you have to do and get up and do.

And do you know and do?

And do and do and do. But we also have so much going on.

Inside and it's so great to be able to.

Have somebody like you to kind of teach us how to connect with that and accept it and be OK with it?

And then give us the tools to then.

Kind of get out of that if it's an if.

It happens or something that's negatively.

Impacting you. I love it. Thank you for joining me today, Carrie, I.

Really appreciate it.

Thank you so much. This is awesome. Thank you.

You're welcome.