What if your child’s biggest challenges were rooted in your unhealed wounds—and even your ancestors’?
In this eye-opening episode, conscious parenting coach and family constellation practitioner Blanka Molnar shares how healing yourself is the most powerful gift you can give your kids.
We explore the emotional inheritance passed down through generations, why your triggers matter, and how to parent from a place of presence instead of programming. This conversation is equal parts tender, transformational, and truly paradigm-shifting.
Learn More and find the free resources:
Resources
👉Alchemist's Guide to Podcast Audiences & Best Be a Guest Directory - discover where your ideal clients are tuning in and how to get featured on those podcasts.
👉Podcasting on Substack - the Ultimate Guide for Coaches & Creators to Leverage Substack for Getting Visible
▶ Workshops for leveraging podcasts to attract clients & build authority
🚀Monetize Your Mission Mastermind
Catch the podcast & join the conversation on Substack The You World Order Showcase Podcast
Transcript
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Are you letting your baggage stand between your child and the parent you want to be? Our next guest is here to shed some light on bridging the gap
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: so that you can
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: be the parent you'd like to be to build a lasting relationship with your child. Hi, and welcome to the You world order, showcase, podcast, where we feature life, health and transformational coaches stepping up to be the change they seek in the world. I'm your host, Jill Hart, the coaches alchemist on a mission to help spiritual entrepreneurs and coaches, amplify their voice, monetize their mission and get visible leveraging podcasts and substack.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Today. We are chatting with Blanca. Molnar Blanca is a woman, a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister, a conscious parenting coach, a family constellation practitioner, and shares many more roles on her mission to raise awareness and shift your perspective as a parent. Welcome to the show, Blanca. It's great to have you here.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: Thank you so much for having me here, Joe.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So I'm going to ask you the big question. You ready.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: I think so.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Okay, what's the most significant thing in your opinion, as individuals, we can do to make an impact on how the world is going.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: Heal ourselves, starting the healing with ourselves, not pointing fingers, and raise our awareness.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I like that it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I know we're going to be talking a lot about parenting, and really, until you know yourself, you can never be a good parent.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: No, even if you feel that you love your kids unconditionally and with the full heart, until you realize that you have a lot of baggage you have to release or let go, and you really love all your dark sides and the light side of yourself.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: and you give yourself grace and patience and love, and what maybe you didn't get when you were a child. That's when you become a parent parent with capital letters, and that's when you can love yourself and love your kids with your full heart.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Ha! I was mentioning to you before I have 5 children, and the
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'm I'm honestly the closest to the youngest. I think she's a really old soul, and she came when I was pretty old.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: is she?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: She's always been the kind of person that I I just. I never really had
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: to like felt like I had to discipline her.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: She just she just knew kind of what she needed to do and how she needed to be, and I I was able to give her the space to be who she was becoming.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: and that I cannot say that I have 2 daughters, the 1st daughter. No, I was like, you have to fall into this mold, and you have to do these things, and you have to be this person.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: even though that's not who you are. You didn't come here to be that person, but I found that the difference between being a young mother and being an old mother was pretty dynamic. Do you find that in in your clients, or.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: I see that. Yes, and as I mentioned to you before, I'm on order, mom, too. This is not how I planned it. This is what I got from the universe, or from God, or whatever resonates with you, and I did a lot of healing myself.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: and honestly, when my daughter was born. I was like, I'm a Buddha. I got this. I have 10 years of healing and spiritual journey. And then that went out like 2 weeks after she was born, because I was triggered left and right.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: So that's when I went into. I call it my second spiritual awakening
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::Blanka - Awarenest: and and another healing for myself, because I didn't realize what I didn't know and what I still needed to heal, because so many things as a mother broke my identity, the broke my expectations, and it was a whole new world with a hormonal roller coaster. And
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::Blanka - Awarenest: I love that you are giving that space to your child. That's the biggest gift you can give to your child to actually not setting your expectations and passing your agenda and baggage and your unfulfilled dreams onto them, but actually
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::Blanka - Awarenest: open your heart and say that I step back. I'm your mother or father, and I'm your guide in this journey, but I'm like your like safety net or guardrails when you need me. I'm here, and maybe I'm guiding you a little bit. But I give you the road, the wide road. You can actually roll on and just form into the person who who you are or who you want to be.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I love that. I love that description because it is so true. And it's so.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's really a new, a new way of looking at parenting. We have a generation of people that are
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: mostly in their forties, who were raised by mothers primarily, who were trying to do everything, and failing
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: desperately at everything. They were bad parents. They were bad daughters, they were bad workers, because they were just expected to do everything and be good at it. And we, you know, we lied to ourselves up to the point where we just burnt out, and we were crappy to everybody. And that, you know, it wasn't fair to the kids that went through that that were growing up through that. And then
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: their kids also.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I've seen this with my own grandchildren. They're living in a different dynamic. And those kids are generally, if they came from younger parents of those people that are.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: they were in their twenties in like the the turn of the century. So they're starting to have kids. And those kids were being raised with A, the Internet and B parents that were trying to control them in a different way where we tried to like either make them
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: latchkey kids where they didn't have any control, any controls around them, or any guidance, really, or we put them in daycare. And then there was like institutional
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: problems that you know always creep up when you institutionalize people
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: and but their kids, their home. They were available for their kids. But they're what we like to call helicopter moms. They didn't let the kids experience things and kids need experiences a lot of times, I know from raising boys. I know you're doing things. I don't want to know about them ever.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: but I know that you're going to do them because you're boys.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: But as you mentioned, so we swing between
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::Blanka - Awarenest: the baby boomers and how they try to control in one way because of what they went through all the historical events and the hardships, and they try to provide. And then the next generation is like swinging into 180. I don't want to do. I don't want to do anything what you've done and like the other. So I feel like this generation of moms growing up or raising kids right now, trying to find that balance
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::Blanka - Awarenest: between not just being friends, actually not being friends, but being parents, but not being helicopter moms not trying to control and over control over protect our kids.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: And, as you mentioned, there are so many different things, even just thinking about the last 6 years. What happened with us, the covid, the social, cultural turmoils and and global shifts. It's just we really have to be on a top of
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::Blanka - Awarenest: of everything. So we have different challenges. And as moms right now with the social media, how you are guiding that, how much TV our kids can watch or what they shouldn't eat what should should eat to be healthy. So all different
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::Blanka - Awarenest: challenges, what we have as mumps. But what I see is actually that these generations of Mom is like trying to balance it out
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::Blanka - Awarenest: and have a healthier relationship, a better connection with the next generation growing up.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I like that a lot, and even it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: even in the education of children, which I think is really an important aspect of all of this parents are are the main pillar in a kid's life. But schools and the way schools function in terms of whether we're going to homeschool or whether we're going to send our kids to school. But we're going to be really active in the school, and maybe we volunteer at the school so that we're still
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: an active part of their life all day long.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: or at least connected enough to know what's happening to them while they're there. Schools are a dangerous place
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: for kids. We send them there, and with certain expectations
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: that are generally not met. And you know you've got other kids who have their other traumas that they're trying to get through. And then you've got an adult who's supposed to be helping them and educating them, who's also traumatized and has all of these things that they have baggage to. And you're allowing these people to have an influence over your children. And this goes for daycare, too. You know you put your kids in daycare. And
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: those people that you're you're trusting this precious human being with. They have baggage. They they didn't just wake up one day, and they were suddenly this great caretaker of little human beings. Usually, it's, you know.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: economically driven. And it's the only thing that they can do. So they're taking your kid in, and they resent your child. So your child's going through.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Your child has access to being traumatized by lots more people than just you as the parent.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So how do you navigate all of that.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: It's kind of scary, as you mentioned, but I believe that if the kids I see it as a house, and you have the foundation your ancestors, and what you inherited, and you can weed those out. And the parents are the walls of that house, and the kids are the roof.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: So if the foundation and the walls are standing strong, and you try to be the best parents you can like raising your self-awareness, healing
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::Blanka - Awarenest: and developing with your child and being open to actually learn from your child. I believe that our kids are the most amazing teachers.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: But sometimes we just like, Oh, you are just a kid. You cannot know this. How would you? You are just a child. I'm the adult. I should figure this out and admitting that that they actually like. They can surprise us with some like a phrase, or with their action on coming, and give you a hug when you really need it. And it's like, How did you know that I actually needed that hug?
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::Blanka - Awarenest: It's like seeing my toddler daughter coming up? And with that full heart, with that light in her eyes.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: They are just bringing us back to our childhood and healing our inner child. So they are the most wonderful gifts we can get. They are miracles and the best teachers. But we have to be flexible and humble enough to say that you know what I don't know, and I haven't figured it out all, especially if you are a 1st time parents, you are just standing there that nobody told me how to do this, and even if I go back to my mom.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: She raised me 40 years ago.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: were changed in just the last couple of days. How can I expect her to tell me what to do like. Of course I asked some advice, but I have to filter it. I have to like, okay, is this the right choice for me and for my child. But this is starting with you, knowing what good, what is good for you, and knowing your child, and what's the best for them.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: so you can filter out whatever the world gives. But if the foundations and you are standing on firm foundations.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: that's the basket you can again give to your child, and
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::Blanka - Awarenest: even if the school and lots of teachers and educators, caretakers with their baggages, are affecting your child, they always come back to you to home, and you can discuss. You can have conversations, you can teach their emotions, their emotional intelligence, develop their emotional intelligence.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: and as a caretaker
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::Blanka - Awarenest: you can educate yourself about healing. And that's when when you asked me the 1st question that what can you do is actually about your your healing. You're raising your self-awareness that oh, I have a baggage. What can I do about that?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yes, I think it's the the most critical thing is that you have a good foundation, and it does start with knowing yourself and allowing your kids to be able to be themselves.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: Yes.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Not not, and listening like when your kid comes home and says, Hey, I'm I'm
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'm feeling this, or I'm feeling that validate their feelings for them, you know. Don't. Don't just try to push it off and think that you know that their feelings don't matter, or the results that they're getting don't matter, or that
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: that they're too little they can't possibly know. I have lots of experience
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: with that. I have one of my sons he's he's gifted with.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: He's a mechanical genius, he he's just like he knows how things go together. When he was 3 I bought him a bionicle set, but they're those little Lego pieces that.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: One, yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And they're supposed to make this this creature. And I'm looking at the directions. He's 3. Okay.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'm looking at the directions. And I'm thinking, oh, this is going to be a disaster, and in the meanwhile he's over there and he's got it all put together.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: these 3 and these are like, you know, 10 plus 10 year olds.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: The toys are designed for 10 year olds, and he
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: he's when it comes comes to vehicles. He just knows stuff about cars. It's it's a wonderful gift, as as an old woman when my cars break down I got Bob.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: but he would. He would say things like, you know, you just need to do this or that, and my husband would. He used to argue with Bob, and then he said, You know, the kid just knows.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And now he's just like I well, I think we need to just call Bob.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's like.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: Yeah, I totally agree with the listening part. And actually, if you have a younger one, just just sit down with them. If if they are older, too, but and dig a little bit further.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: So when they say that I'm fine, it's like, Okay, do you want to tell me more what was fine about your day? Because.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: Behind them. I'm just fine or I'm sad. There is way, more emotion. It's like an iceberg. Start to dig further, go down and and ask connect with them.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: because if they have trouble they know that they can trust you, and they will turn back to you, because behind those fines you were, you were interested in more, you were more interested in their souls and their emotions and feelings and their life. And that's how you can build and connect with them.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And do you find that you don't have to be the solution to all of their problems? Sometimes it's just enough to listen and say, you know, validate what they're feeling, and it can be as simple as man. That must have been really painful.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You don't have to solve the problem. Just let them
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: know that they've a been heard, and B that
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: you're in their corner. If they want your help they can ask for it. But you don't. You don't have to solve their problems for them, or fight their battles for them, but just being there and listening.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: Absolutely. And and I love that because, as parents, our heart goes out to them, and you just just want to protect, put them into a bubble wrap and just put it in the corner, so they are safe there. So we are natural. Most of us are natural fixers, but we cannot, we cannot be always there, and we will not be always there for them to fix. But, as you mentioned, listening and validating, that
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::Blanka - Awarenest: their their feelings are legend. They matter, they will learn. And this is the foundation for them to actually like. You know what? I can figure this out actually, because I know that Mom or dad gets my back, even if I fall back
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::Blanka - Awarenest: and they go out. And they do amazing things like your son, who is like naturally knows mechanical stuff that that's not what my brain is wired for. But I appreciate that. Wow! You can do this when you you understand and support that that? Okay, do you want another Lego piece or Lego sets? Or how can we actually send you to school? That is actually helping developing more of those skills.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: This is when you are not pushing that. Oh, you should be a doctor or a lawyer when you should be an engineer, or a mechanical, or whatever you would like to be. This is like connecting on a soul level and understanding your child.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: it. It makes for great relationships when they grow older, too. Yeah, because when you when you start shutting them down when they're little.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You can't be surprised when they're an adult, and they're like
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: they don't care about you because you didn't care about them.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: The rules do come around.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: Very much so. Yes, and it's funny, because when they are toddlers you want them like, Oh, my God! This is too much like they are very emotional, like they are nonsense, and
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::Blanka - Awarenest: but then you want them to go out in the world and conquer the world.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: How you want that energy later. But you don't validate it now when they are like
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::ause I want you. When you are:106
::Blanka - Awarenest: So I don't want to shut her down now as a 2 year old, because that's how I want her to be when she's older.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But I, I can validate for you that this season is difficult.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: Thank you. Yes, we were just joking with my husband. That right now my daughter's favorite phrases is, and birds are no, and I want it. And when you just hear, I want this, I want this. I want that
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::Blanka - Awarenest: all day long that can be like, Okay, buckle up.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: But that's when you know you are doing something right, because
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::Blanka - Awarenest: because it doesn't trigger me as it would trigger me 10 years ago, because I did the healing work on myself, even if it triggers like. Okay, why is it bugging me so much? It's not about my daughter triggering me. It's the trigger. What happened, and how can I just like heal that trigger?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: For now, bye, and it's only a season.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: Yes.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Then there'll be another season and a different season, and and
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: life is so exciting in that that respect, and when you look back you can.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You can be proud of yourself.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: Thank you for saying that as a as a mom of 5.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I mean.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: Older kiddos. So yes, it can be very bogged down. But then you you need somebody pull you out a little of it out of the weeds and say that
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::Blanka - Awarenest: it's a season. It's temporary, and you will get through it. And you are doing an amazing job.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, that's my job.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: When you get to my age you'll be doing it, too.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: Yes, I appreciate all these women in my life who are saying that.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I try to make a point of of doing that for my my daughter, who does have children, but also my my son's wives.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I think they're doing an amazing job with their kids, all of their kids. I have 8 grandkids, and
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: they're they're interesting fun, human beings. And I really enjoy spending time with them, but I think their parents have done an incredible job.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And it it's not easy. I you know it's it's 1 of those things that you know. Yes, we've been having children for a million years, and
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: we're still going off. But you know it's like anything. If you have intention
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: when you're doing it. If you, if you recognize that you're creating this this soul and your job is to like help it
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: get to the point where it can spread its wings and and
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: and and share the beauty that it's here to share, and the gifts that it's here to share. That's all you can ask for.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: Yeah, don't clip their wings, let them spread it and help them to fly.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, so you talk about family constellations. What? What is that? And how does that look.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: So family constellation is a holistic healing method. And it's been around since the 19 seventies. It's more popular in Europe because actually the founder was born in Germany. He was a German psychologist, Bert Heilinger.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: And so the foundation of family constellation is that whatever challenges you currently have in your life. Let's say financial, mental, physical, emotional. That's because something 7 generations back happened in the family. There was a trauma, a life event, a historical event, or something
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::Blanka - Awarenest: so as and seen as a trauma happened, and that's actually inherited in your in your DNA. And it comes out different way in your life or your kid's life.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: That's really interesting. If I, my 7th generation is the Ben Franklin family.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: Oh, wow.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: yeah, we don't. If you are lucky, you maybe know what happened with your grandparents and great grandparents. But why this method is so effective because we, we can go back a long time.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: and we can heal these issues or traumas, or challenges by the root, and with conversations we are giving back to the person who it belongs.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: because Hellinger says that our love and loyalty to our family is everything. Even if you think that just because your parents were like abusive or like addicts. You don't love them. That's not true. Subconsciously you are connected to them with love and loyalty, and to all your ancestors.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: and
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::Blanka - Awarenest: we as very loyal and loving, caring people, we carry their burdens, and as soon as these burdens come to the surface you can let your burden down and your life shapes up some changes in such an effective and quick way.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: And you realize that this wasn't that this wasn't even mine. This wasn't even my responsibility to carry, but it was my responsibility to bring into life
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::Blanka - Awarenest: and and heal it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: That's beautiful. So how do you help people? Is it group coaching, one-on-one coaching? How does all that look.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: Right now I work with one on one sessions.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: These sessions are very personal and
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::Blanka - Awarenest: and deep and profound. So usually I set up about one and a half hour, and we work until we feel a relief in the clients. So it's not like a traditional therapy session, but it's like 50 min, and it's over. But more like my client brings challenges, one or 2 challenges, and we start to explore that which challenge actually is ready to be surfaced and healed.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: and we get to the root cause. What was the issue that caused that problem? And we have conversations. And with that conversation. Actually, my clients usually feel instant relief, like even you can see their shoulders dropping, and it's like, Oh, my chest feels lighter, or my heart area feels lighter, or I have goosebumps, or they start to yawn. These are all signs of actually relief.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: relief of that trauma and that burden. And the beauty of this session, that even after a session the session still works for you. So you feel an instant relief, some kind depending on what you are ready for but the next 1, 2, 3 weeks, and even months. Changes are coming to your way after a session.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Interesting how even small shifts in ourselves can have such big, rippling effects.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's our environment.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: You actually oh, sorry! I feel backwards. And you hear forwards, too. So when you give something back, you can actually hear relationship with your parents. I had clients like Oh, my! My mom just called me out of nowhere, or my client had
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::Blanka - Awarenest: her daughter texting that. Oh, I feel better. So actually, that's the beauty that you are not just healing yourself. You are healing backwards and forwards for the next generations, too.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, it's so impactful when you when you start to heal yourself. So how would people decide whether they were ready to work with you or not what would be some of the things that they would be experiencing.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: I have a lot of clients who just decided that because they hit the rock bottom they would like to change, and they need change because they are just cannot tolerate the pain anymore. Or they tried a lot of different methods, and it just didn't work for them.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: And on my webpage. You can book a free consult with me because we have to figure out if this is the right method for you. Do you want to work on your past with the family constellation, or you would like to work on your present and your future with the conscious parenting coaching.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: Most of my clients is actually coming, and they want to hear their past 1st to build the foundation we were talking about, so they can move forward, which.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: with a stronger wall of that house, and foundations.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So even if people have children already, they're they're like good candidates for.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: Absolutely healing is is a never ending process. It depends on you. I love to have
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::Blanka - Awarenest: baby boomer clients if they decide to want to change. But why, I see that actually is, the younger generation is more open to heal and explore different modalities and and methods like family constellation.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I like that. And I know you have several resources on your website that help people. Parents navigate
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: the parenting experience. You want to talk about the ones that you love, the best.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: Yes, 1st of all, I really like my trigger log. It's a free trigger log, and why is it? It's a very powerful, easy, but powerful tool to start your healing journey.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: Because when you start to feel that oh, I'm constantly triggered or keep yelling at my child when my child does this, you can write it down, that. What are those red buttons or the red flags when you feel triggered, or by who, if it's a person. For example, you have a very annoying calling at your workplace, and you can start to
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::Blanka - Awarenest: pull those moments and see and build a pattern, and when you see a pattern that's when healing starts, because in the pattern there are usually root causes.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: and but you have to connect the dots and start to bring awareness into those triggers and into those patterns to hear those. So the trigger log is a great way to start. It's easy, yet powerful, and you can find some breathing exercises, both for kids and for adults. So when you have those heated moments, what we all have, even if you are a Buddha, mom kudos to you. There are some moms who are still losing it.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: So in those moments you can have some exercises breathing exercises for you to come back to your present. Come back to yourself, and same you can teach from a very young age to your kids, too.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And it's so important to give our kids
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: the earlier, the better tools for understanding and working with their emotions and their feelings and recognizing
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: their emotions and feelings. I have a story about one of my grandchildren. He's he's 4, and starting to understand that he has feelings.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: and he'll he'll start into the the crying mode.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: and then he'll stop at his.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: How sad!
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'm so sad.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And it's like, Well, yeah, of course you're sad.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: and it's great that you recognize that you're sad.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And we're sad, too.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: We don't want this to be this way, and
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: and we'll work on like doing something different.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: because often you just have to like shift their attention to get them in a different space. I used to tell my daughter. Oh, just smile, smile! Really big.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'd smile at her like that.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: Works pretty well. But yes, I I love that like. Yesterday we were reading a book to my daughters about emotions.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: And I speak Hungarian. You can hear my accent. I'm originally from Hungary, so we speak Hungarian. I speak Hungarian, and my husband speaks English to her. So we were teaching in English and in Hungarian the emotions. And we were like making that. Okay, how are you doing? Calm? And she was doing it with us. How are you feeling when you are tired? And you are like yawning? And she was doing it so absolutely, teaching them very early.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: What does it mean to be sad? Why, you are sad. It's okay to be sad, and so don't bottle that up.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: Just express it, but teaching them how to regulate as much as we can, and at this age, but teaching them that it's okay. And we can have different ways to actually express anger, or sadness, or tiredness, or calm.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, and and that they're they're all just emotions. Yes, they're valid.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But you don't have to live in them.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You can move through them, because eventually it'll be like freaking, happy.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: And as we talked about it, it's all temporary and.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yes.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: As adults. We make that mistake that we just get stuck on them. We are just attaching and make our emotions
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::Blanka - Awarenest: like they are identifying us. Yes, they are part of us, but it's not my identity. I'm not anger. I'm not happiness or sadness like in the Pixar movie, but which is. By the way, I think it's a great way to also to show kids emotions, but
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::Blanka - Awarenest: they don't have to identify you. It's part of you. Don't push it away that oh, I don't like anger. I don't want to feel that it's part of you, and it's okay. That's part of me. But I can be happy. I can be calm, I can be joyful and grateful.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah. And nobody has to tell you
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: which emotion you're supposed to be feeling at any given time.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And we, when people pass this usually comes up. But you know everybody
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: goes through grief differently, and there's no right way to experience any emotion. It's just the experience that you're having.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: Absolutely.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Take time, experience it, but don't live in it.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: Yes, and you don't get stuck. The problem happens when you are stuck in an emotion for a very long time. Again, there is, for example, for grief. There is no set period of time that oh, you can be said only for 6 weeks or for a year. No, it's your timeline your agenda, but trying to move through after a while, seeing that. Okay, I'm still feeling this. Is this still right? Is it still my belief?
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::Blanka - Awarenest: Or actually, I can pass, and I can move on.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It doesn't make you anything. Your emotions don't make you anything. They just exist.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: Okay.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: How can people find you? Blanca?
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::Blanka - Awarenest: Though my business is awareness.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: and you can find me@awareness.net. That's my web page. Or you can email me and Blanca with a K, so it's BLAN. ka@awareness.net. I'm happy to answer any questions, concerns, feedbacks, and I'm happy to start that conversation with anybody who is ready to heal.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Awesome thanks for joining us so much today. Blanca.
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::Blanka - Awarenest: I appreciate it. Thank you for giving me the space, Jill.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: To learn more about Blanca, and to find those resources to make parenting easier. Please visit awareness.net
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: a, WARE, nest.net, and we'll be sure to put those links in the show notes below. And I want to thank you for tuning in with us today. If you have a podcast or you're interested in starting one to get your message in front of our huge and active audience, be sure to reach out to us at support@heartlifecoach.com. We love to help spiritual entrepreneurs and coaches, amplify their voice, and monetize their mission, and offer a variety of ways to do this on substack.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: join us for our next episode as we share what others are doing to raise the global frequency and remember, change begins with you. You have all the power to change the world, start today and get visible.