Anne Crawford – Military Transitions: A Time for Change

Hi and welcome to the You World Order Showcase podcast. Today we have with us Anne Crawford. Anne’s is a personal empowerment coach who specializes in helping people with career transitions. So welcome to this show Anne, it's nice to have you with us.

Thank you. Thank you, Jill. I'm honored.

We were talking a little bit before we started recording about A. the military because you help a lot of military people transition and B. being aligned with.

Your ideals and what you want to do in life as opposed to what you have to do in life. So we'll be talking about that. But first tell us how you got started in this field.

What's your story?

My story, I think.

Starts out just like everybody else with that alignment

Component here so I didn't know what I wanted to do either and it actually wears you very thin when you go from job to job and you're just not happy.

But I started a cleaning business to be honest with you, with somebody else and it was perfect because I was able to be home with my children and take.

Drive them to school.

And things like that. I had phenomenal clients that were kind and lovely, so.

It was really a great.

Foundation for me, understanding how I love to be a business owner.

So you take that one component. Then I started getting heavily involved with Cheryl Richardson and her work and that blossomed. Personal growth workshops with two other professional women. We did that for four years and then you take another component where I'm like, oh man, I've always, since I've been little.

Loved to know what makes people tick. We've all got emotions. We all have trauma. We all have stresses. Your childhood plays. I'd say a 99.9%.

Impact on what you become as an adult, how you handle things.

From those personal growth workshops, so many people, said Anne, you have got to go to coaching school. So I did and I got certified and I chose career transitions because I had wonderful friends, professionals that were saying.

I actually hate my job or my boss is a jerk or ohh. I’d kill to go work with horses and I saw all these talented people just rotting away psychologically and physically. And I said this can be no more. I have to do something about this.

I myself went through that. There's gotta be a way. And that propelled me to go into career transitions.

So that's my story.

I love it and it's really an important.

An important gap that you fill in the marketplace because so many people are in jobs that they're just, they're we call it burnout. But it's just because they're not aligned with what they're supposed to be doing. They may be paid lots of money for training to be able to do it, but it doesn't make their heart sing.

It's very sad and a lot of the ones that I see, not only the military, which been have if they've been in for a while, but it's also like 50 year olds, they've had done what they've done for a long time. They've worked themselves up that salary level.

Now they're stuck and they're like, wow, I've got teenage children. I have a home. I have to support. How? How can I possibly change careers and make the same money?

But it is a process, it's just like going to the therapist and I never compare. Coaches don't compare themselves with therapists. There's no way. But it's almost like you have to do your internal work because you have been living for somebody else and not yourself. And that's where it starts, really.

Anything can be done, it just takes times and certain steps to acquire it. That's all.

Yeah, and having a coach really does help with that because you may have ideas about how or things that you want to do, and they may seem like dreams to you. But I'm here to tell you if you can dream it.

It can happen. It's so true.

And people that are very unhappy will say, oh, that's ridiculous.

But it really is.

True if you align yourself with the correct people and then they feed your passions and they introduce you to somebody else.

We can't do this thing called life alone. We need support all around us at all times.

And people do show.

Up in your life to support whatever The thing is that you want to do it. We're creating a reality all the time. You know, if you're living a miserable life.

Well, you have yourself to thank because you created.

Sorry to say but.

You know, have better thoughts, Daydream more. Think about what you want, not about what you don't want. And you're much more likely to realize it in your.

In your environment, because it just. That's how reality works.

Absolutely. It's truly a mindset and I'm not degrading anybody who's been through horrific things because many people have been through trauma and abuse and accidents and all that you.

Have the right.

To digest that and live with it. But your key to your success is that mindset that we all have here. You can either do with doom and gloom, or you can say I need help. I'm not managing this correctly or.

Let's talk about gratitude. And there you go. It changes everything.

It does change everything and it can even change the people around you. You know, if you.

They call it love bombing, but generally that's a negative term. But if you love bomb people, they can't help.

But love you.

Back it's just human nature and if.

You if you.

Find yourself in a position where you have to deal with somebody that you really is driving you crazy.

A lot of the it's driving you crazy. Part is stuff you're making up in your head and you're allowing yourself to react to whatever it is they're doing or saying or however they're being.

You can take responsibility for that, and you can own.

Own your own feelings about it and then.

Make a decision and it's always about making the decision to change how you're going to interact with that person, right?

You know it's.

Not all going to be roses and.

No thorns, but it will get better.

It will.

And that's just a little step you can take when you're talking about military and transitioning out of the military into the.

The regular.

Everyday work, of course.

Do you do you work with people? Mostly on in terms of helping them find new?

Jobs or careers or self-employed?

I meant what did? What does that kind of.

Look like.

What does that look?

Like, well, I work with active duty and I work with veterans, so there's two different sets. So the active duties are really fresh. They're coming out. I would say they, they range it well. I shouldn't say they range from a certain age.

But the bulk?

And had a nice career.

How do I help them? Well, some of them are really have found careers in the military that can be transferred into a civilian workplace, like the financial people, their psychological services there's, you know, great managers and things like that.

It's when I had a client a long time ago that was a sniper.

And he said, well, Anne, what do I do? First of all, I don't want to tell people what I did. I said, well, there's different ways and he didn't want to go into the Police Department where that would have been acceptable or anything else.

I said it's.

Not about your actual the moment that you shot your target.

It's about the preparing for it.

The team leadership, the training, let's, let's talk about that and we talked about what his heart wanted to put himself with. Is it children, disabled veterans is, you know, where did he?

Want to go?

With that, and I'd say 90% of the people want to make a difference in this world, so the career.

Wants to align with a project or personality or company that's doing good things.

For good people.

And he ended up really going with a company that does a lot of the products that deal with disabled veterans or people in accidents. He was kind of like in in that demographic type thing.

It's really breaking down for the veterans and the active duty.

What skill sets do you love? Not what you hated. What did you love to do? What do you feel you are professional at?

And so many.

People don't. Oh, I don't know. Everyone else did this and everyone else. Everyone had to do.

It, I said. But they didn't do it like you did.

And that's when the key kind of clicks to the lock open. And they're like, yeah, actually, I guess I'm pretty good at this. It's finding out who you are first and then aligning them with professions that they never thought of.

That they can.

Approach on the different job sites, do I? If I have connections I'll say well, I know the CEO of that company, I'll introduce you, but I don't normally find them jobs. I inspire them.

To have options to look for different possibilities. That's basically the veterans are whole different ball game because like you said, they come out and they were thrown to the wolves.

Especially if they're in their 40s, fifties, and they've worked at Uncle John's mechanic Shop.

Or the Police Department because somebody told him. You know, my best friend works there. I'll get you a job there. But it's not what?

They really wanted to do.

And it, like the rest of everybody listening, it catches up with you. If you're not doing something that you really enjoy doing.

It doesn't have to be perfect, but it has you.

Have to leave feeling I'm a.

Good person. I've made a difference in some small way, so that's what I see with the veterans and active duty guys.

Yeah, and.

There's so many. I interview so many coaches and a lot of them do the same things.

But everybody does it.

Differently and everyone is unique and everyone.

Calls to their own group of.

People so amazing and.

All right.

I have a.

I have a special place in my heart for veterans and people that are active duty and trying to transition into a different world. I was raised in the military and my dad was an officer, and so I really can relate to how difficult it can be. I know, oh, my first husband was a.

Sub sailor, my second husband is a veteran also, so I'm really familiar with all of all of the things that you go through and trying to sort out the.

What? What makes you special question and that's.

That's a really a.

Really interesting thing to explore with somebody else who's.

Gifted at helping you ask the right questions of yourself without looking for any specific answer then.

Right.

And I'm sure.

I think there's no right or wrong and if you start saying, well, you mean you're not interested in this or you're not. So what they're just not well wired differently. I do find that my heart doesn't lie with the veterans and active duty too, because of the things that they've gone through.

Not every civilian can.

Sees the things they see.

I mean, it's hard to digest and when they come out, a lot of them don't want to talk.

About it.

But I encourage them on the surface to first of all, to work with the VA, get good therapy along the way. I'm certainly not a therapist, but I will talk to them about let's talk about triggers because I had a truck driver who was a fuel tank.

Driver. But he got fired because he lost his temper on the road so much. And when I told him, I said what is black and white. Right is wrong mean.

Ohh those are.

The things that we talked about in the military and I said and what is standing still.

Mean to you?

And he paused and he got a little bit emotional. He goes well if I stand still, I'm going to blow up. And I said well.

Where was all the conflict when you were a truck driver and it clicked?

Oh my gosh.

Traffic jams. I used to sit there on the traffic jams.

I said, do you think?

That possibly could.

Be a subconscious trigger for you. He's what I never thought about it because you know he was in society. Very well, liked, calm, funny man.

Because I never thought of it that way, I said work with the VA and I'll work with you. And I said instead of long haul, what other options do trucking since he loved it so much, could he do? And I and he came to prepare for the interview and I said, and you're going to tell him about your adventure with the post traumatic stress. Ohh. I won't get hired.

I said if you are aligned with the correct company.

And we seemed out.

Military friendly companies, you will tell them.

This is to your benefit, trust me. And he did, and they go. Don't worry about it. We'll do short term trucking. We'll do off the highway routes for you. And if you start to have an attack start to get angry, pull over. It's OK. Take 5 minutes and keep on going.

What more could you ask for? I mean, it's just you have to listen to your clients and see and.

And hopefully they'll.

Open up to you and tell you these things. But they're just keeping more inside than the normal citizens sometimes.

And that's, you know, my heart goes out to them in many ways because they're doomed in this civilian world to just come back and everything is just wonderful for them all the time.

It's just different.

Yeah, it's just different and things that they might not even recognize, like you're just talking about the guys as a.

Truck driver a.

Trigger that you know it's a subconscious thing.

That he, he.

Knew before that you know, if you're standing still, your target and.

It didn't even.

Register in his conscious mind enough to realize that hey, I'm safe. I can sit here in traffic, no one's going to shoot me.

That's right.

That's true.

And it takes a lot because traffic jams happen every day.

Oh yeah, I've driven a truck before and believe me, there's nothing so exciting as being in a truck in traffic and having to, you know.

Get to an exit ramp.

Like in Los Angeles, comes to mind. In New York City.

Oh man, what's the back?

This is like.

I can totally empathize with him.

But to have?

Have that in the back of your.

Mind where? Oh, I'm just a target. It's like.

That would be horrific.

Yeah, you know.

Let's see.

There's a lot of triggers for them. Loud noises then don't work at an airport. I mean, you know when helicopters flying over, that's another one. Well, then we won't put you into a division that works at or delivers to the airport. If that's going to be a trigger for you, you know.

It all depends. Sometimes it's like anybody else. It smells. It's children. It's, you know, you name it, you name it.

Yeah, everybody has like different things.

And you know.

People that aren't in the military can sometimes have triggers over things that they're not even conscious of. Get post trauma, post Traumatic Stress syndrome from working in some high pressure careers, their doctors and nurses come to mind.

Big time.

That they pick up.

Triggers that they're not even really conscious of and.

And those are people.

It's the video triggers, really. They're called soft triggers. I just finished the course on trauma and grief, but the it's fascinating how trauma works in the employment because I have many people that are afraid to go forward.

And I'm like.

What is that about kind of? It was very intriguing to me and it's a lot of trauma in the childhood. What was said to them, their parents, you will not amount to anything or, you know, we're spending a fortune on your education. How dare you leave it? That's a big one. Different cultures. Woo.

I'm telling you, and it's so sad because they didn't want to do what they.

Were doing in the first place.

But how we want to please people, it's I'd say it's the soft triggers. Like you said, you don't even know about them until they come up. So if you have a very domineering boss, but your father, your mother was very strict or loud and you didn't get to say anything.

The hat is not good for you in the employment. If you have a toxic employee that belittles you and gets away with it too, you're traumatized every day.

So you don't want to do well or subconsciously if you have somebody in an interview that is very forceful.

That's going to shy you away. You won't ask the questions that you're.

Supposed to?

So it there's little traumas and triggers all along in life, but yeah, it's just realizing.

And it is possible to find even jobs you don't.

Have to like.

Go out and start your own business in order to escape all of these things. You can find jobs out there that do align with you and your personality and.

And make you feel like you're significant because we.

All need to.

Feel like we matter at the end of the.

Absolutely, absolutely.

So I had a client once and this is interesting. He was a mechanic for high end like Ferraris and everything else and physically and emotionally he was getting a little tired of that.

And I said, what are you passionate? What do you really love? And he goes, I just love animals. I really do. I love dog, dog adoptions. And I said.

You know that Subaru is a big leader in.

Pets and dog adoptions, and he goes no, I had no idea. I said, do you think that you could do some mechanics or designing of interiors to transport these animals? Because I never thought about that before. Bingo. He did it for the guest investigation down the world down the line. Excuse me. And sure enough.

He got into because he had such an extensive engine mechanic Rep.

Their career.

He got into transportation of the animals and now he gets to see the dogs united with people that adopted him and he said that is the best feeling ever for me. So that's there, that alignment. Sometimes it's not the primary thing that you do, but the secondary thing that comes out of it.

It's so awesome to see. Sometimes it really is.

It's so amazing and we all have.

Gifts and skills and superpowers, that and dreams. You know that that we are put here to fulfill and you don't have to deny them just because you need a paycheck. They can all be incorporated together.

And it's never too late to start.

Oh, goodness gracious. There's some of my friends that are starting to write books, and they're.

In their 60s.

Who says there's an age limit to?

Any of this?

It's ridiculous.

I know. Let's to think that way. Absolutely.

Women in their 70s that are starting their first business is the number one. I heard this. I.

I think.

It might have been Alex or Mozzie who mentioned this, but the number one roofer roofing company is run by an 82 year old.

Ohh see.

Like you go girl.

Yes, absolutely. Absolutely I do. Sometimes you have to live a life of the ups and downs to really attract something new in your life. You have to go through stuff sometimes to get it.

Really feel like.

They're really good announcer.

Yeah, I think maybe.

That's where you go through trauma one more kids. Nobody gets out of childhood without some trauma wound.

I totally agree that and I wasn't really aware of that because I thought ohh my childhood's great and blah blah blah.

Things come up and you go.

Wow, I think it wasn't so great after all. Nothing major but this little component made you not speak up or this one made you afraid of that. We all got it going on. Once you identify it, you can conquer it like we talked before. It's all up in what you tell yourself, and you can work through anything.

You really can.

I'm not saying real deep depression needs counseling and possibly pharmaceutical help.

But what you think about?

Therapist and what you're trying to do for yourself and saying these medicines are great for me now, maybe I'll wean myself off of them with permission or whatever. It's all in your mindset.

You can say this is for my better good or I'm a loser. I have to be on this. It's all what we say.

Well, let me say.

Yeah. It's how we identify.

And our what we do drives our identities and.

As we do more things that align with who we are and really.

Inspire us to.

To keep.

At it.

We become this person.

In it.

And we make such a difference when you're when you're doing something, when you're doing something that you don't really want to be doing, or that's causing you stress in your life.

Right.

That's true.

You don't show up your best.

You don't show.

Up at all, really.

How sad is that right?

Very sad.

All this brilliance laying deep inside of us, and what happens when it doesn't come out?

The world's lost just a little sparkle, yeah.

That in some.

Cases it's a big sparkle, I think if everybody were doing what they were supposed to be doing and pursuing their dreams and passions and making the difference, they were sent here to make, this world would be an amazing place. Everyone would be happy and.

There wouldn't.

Be worse because.

People don't inherently wake up and say, hey, I want to go kill somebody today.

Well, you figure if you could.

Oh, I don't.

Want to get into political, but if you?

Put the leaders.

In almost all leaders that get into war had some kind of major dysfunction in their lives.

And that's why they are who they are. They might have inherited some psychological issues too, but why not just put them in the forefront and?

Leave the citizens.

Alone. You know you want to work this out. Go ahead.

But anyway.

I'm with you.

They're all kind of crazy.

Ohh way I envision a world where there.

Aren't any borders and there aren't any.

Political leaders I I'm an anarchist like an actual anarchist. I believe everybody should be responsible for themselves. I don't really care what you believe or not believe.

Right.

You should just be kind to others.

But that's where did you learn that kindness?

You must have had examples when you were younger to be an epic, pathetic person.

If you grew up with not seeing any kind of.

Positivity. Nurturing.

Then you're a product of that and you have to learn it.

We soak in the energies. I mean I had, you know, great parents for the most part and their friends were wonderful. I saw generosity I saw volunteering. I saw calmness. So I learned that. But if that wasn't the case, who would I be for a product of our environment? Can we change it? You better believe we can change it.

Many people come from dysfunction.

And that's what propels them to greatness.

And changing the world because they didn't get the products or the nurturing that they so desperately needed. But you have to have a switch that goes off and going. Wait a minute, I missed that.

It's just it's interesting.

This is interesting. I do believe people can change and I do believe the trauma is there.

To help you.

As a catalyst to make you.

Look at what you're doing and to push you towards what you're supposed to be doing.

And if you get stuck in it.

It becomes dysfunction so that if you're not stuck in it, if you can find ways to move through it, then you can actually blossom and be the person.

You're supposed to be.

I totally agree.

I totally agree.

I see it all the time with my clients, it's just an underlining theme.

These brilliant people at a doctor, a brilliant person, she was remarkable. She had published books. She had three offices. She had a job that she was considering.

In another state, she was in a marriage that was very controlling.

This was a.

A cultural kind of environment where women weren't rarely regarded, but if it was a man.

He would be king.

And she doubted us. And they're going. I can't believe I'm hearing this. I don't think I'm worthy of this, this next environment, what happens with my husband? He's so controlling. And you?

Know blah blah blah.

What do you want to do? She had never even considered what she would want to do. She used her high achievement to.

Get noticed by her parents.

That was her whole.

I want to be recognized. Please say and validate me.

I've done all this good work for people and she did like she loved being a doctor, but I don't think she would have excelled that much if it wasn't desperately seeking the affections and attention from her.

And she couldn't make a decision.

You probably were never.

Able to give it to her because.

They had their.

Own trauma issues.

Ohh big time.

Big time, I said. Well, if you get divorced, your children will have quality time with you without the husband alone. She never thought about that. She just thought that, you know, it wasn't going to work and stuff like.

That I said.

I don't know whether she took that position or not. It was like the greatest honor you could possibly. I mean, we're talking high up and stuff.

And I just like.

How can you not know how brilliant you really are? I'm not talking book. Brilliant. I'm talking about the brilliance that shine from helping people and what she's done for herself.

She didn't see it at all.

That's so that's so bad really.

It is. It is.

It is I. I found people who just.

Are the everyday sweet, kind people more successful than the ones that make the money? Because money has nothing to do with your success. It comes from in here. It's that feeling you have about doing a good deed for somebody.

That's where it comes from. That's your success.

It's not money driven. It's great to be able to support yourself and get your daily needs. Don't misunderstand me. But when I see people that are only going for jobs because they pay astronomical, these are the questions I ask.

Is that going to make you?

Happy. Oh, yeah, I'll be able.

To vacations, I can pay for my kids education, you know, do this and buy boat materialistic stuff. I'm like. No, I'm not talking about that.

Will this feed your soul? Will this bring out all the gifts that you were given from the beginning?

Yeah, I think people don't really look.

At that, and those are often the people that are already trapped in jobs that.

They they're.

Expenses have kind of caught up with their income and their.

They're like peddling really hard. And so they're just going to dive in deeper.

To water, they're barely treading water in.

It's true.

I this is a hard thing for people to comprehend. Like I run an employment support group, so some of the people come in and they're at the top of the banana level as far as their income level. They've been in there.

Let's say they're an engineer and they've been in engineering for a very long time. They're making, let's say they make 150,000 a year.

And then they.

*** **** off.

And then they're trying to.

Apply for jobs that are.

95,000 eighty 70,000 they're like 1. They're insulted.

And too, they're like, I can't live on that. But then along comes a job.

That after coaching they're like, really excited about it.

And it pays like 70,000.

Which other people would be like? I'll take it. They're not used to it. They think it's insulting. But I said what matters most to your health from this moment.

Being enriched and doing something positive for somebody or going back to the corporate nine to five, the stress level that you felt.

When you were there.

You tell me. Well, and they try to talk themselves out of.

It, but honestly.

One or two of to have taken that lower income job and being the happiest they have ever been. And like we talked about, when you're happy, you attract happiness.

They have more leads and more things that they're doing now than they ever did before, and they go.

What was I thinking? Well, it's a scare. It's a fear factor type thing, that's for sure. But where does it want?

It's the ability to change because.

Go ahead.

You're not going to live the same way.

In that and you know.

Maybe you have this huge house that you have to have this horrible job in order to maintain. And I'm not saying everybody who has a huge house has.

Has this problem.

But sometimes downsizing a little bit improves the quality of your life.

In so many ways that you can't even imagine.

5 bathrooms and.

Yep, same with me.

I can clean it in two hours.

We're talking, like, really clean. Wow. I was a cleaning lady at one point.

In my life.

Too, so you can identify it's not.

A cleaning business I was.

Like organization, just get with.

It and when it's done, you feel so.

Like better, it's like relieving that clutter, baby. You just get it out and you're like.

I feel like a weightless and lift it.

Off of me. Yep, it's true, it is true.

But there's always ways that you can devise, like the like we were telling, like, I was telling that person in my employment group. Do you need two homes?

Or, you know, maybe your son or daughter can move into that second home and take over the payments for it. There are options. It's not the end of the world. What would you say to your children if they were in the same position? That gets a lot of people going. Well, I would never talk to them that way. And I'm like.

Then why are you talking to yourself that way?

So there's always options, always options.

There are always options and going for you know what's.

What's gonna make you light up insane? It's.

Like it's the best I agree. I agree.

There you go.

So how do people get in touch with you?

Aaron, they want to.

Oh my goodness. Well, I do a lot. I I'm pretty active on LinkedIn. They can go to my website, they can e-mail me to be honest with you, I don't do a lot of volunteer work, so if they want to.

Work with you.

I do this ESR program employer supported the National Guard and Reserve so that's in Rhode Island. Even though I live in Massachusetts.

And talk about being aligned with the right things.

That has brought me more clients because I'm in the element of the military and I get over there. I've been doing it for about 12.

I now know what they go through. They've opened up to me so I have more information on where they come from and their training and why and everything.

Else and I also do mentoring for the ACP American corporate partners, so I get a soldier or veteran every year to mentor through the business and what they're going through.

And through that I've gotten clients, but I.

Would honestly say.

I'm on Facebook, but I'm on under Anne Crawford and I have that pretty closed down, so if they want to see the other side of Anne other than have professional, they can find me there. And I think if they sent me a message saying I know Jill Hart, I heard from you, I will accept the friendship. Otherwise they there's no way they can get to.

Me on that one.

I'm on Instagram too.

But the bulk is if they look for me on LinkedIn, they'll find me. So they'll read about what I I'm all about.

The kind of place that you would think.

That you would go.

If you were like looking for career transition.

Well, definitely LinkedIn then. Definitely LinkedIn. Yeah.

So we'll be sure to put those links.

In the show notes.

So what's the one thing you'd like to leave the audience with today, and what's the one thing you'd hope?

They'd take away from this conversation.

I think everybody you've got so much potential inside of you, but that keyword is options.

I think when we have options, no matter if you're buying a car, a house, a career.

Or an emotional partnership if you really.

Take the moment, sit back and go. I'm in charge of my options here. I'm going to ask questions so that I can feel safe in the decisions that I make.

That's key, I really do.

Absolutely. Thank you so much for joining me.

Well, thank you for.

Having me, I appreciate it. It's been great.