Smoothing Out the Transitions of Life with Adele Bernard

Hi, welcome to the You World. Order, showcase podcast.

This is Jill Hart, your host, and today we have with us Adele Bernard.

Adele facilitates empowering you to embrace life's transitions with confidence, understanding, and resilience.

Together. She works with you to eliminate the way forward. One transformative step at a.

And she's the host of the podcast conversations. Welcome to the show. And now it's nice to have you here.

Thank you for inviting me. It's a pleasure.

Yeah.

Feels like Old Home Week. We chat all the time.

You were just talking about. You're you're changing your.

Your tagline a little bit. You wanna share what what it's gonna be. Now.

Which just came to.

Sure

It well as as.

You know, and people that know me.

That marketing tagline has been.

Anemos right? Because I'm.

Help you through transition.

Right. Well, what does that mean?

So the more I thought about, the more I.

Tried to hone in on what that means.

It's about coming home to whether it's your home, your physical home dwelling.

Or your home in your body.

And.

I find most people don't know either.

Because they're too busy doing.

And.

And it actually was triggered also by

A native shaman, who said.

Ye human beings have gotten it too complicated.

If you wanna ground, take your shoes off and hug a tree.

Edit tree anywhere, anytime.

Any other questions, and I was like.

Oh, my gosh! It's so simple! Yet we we miss that.

And so I said, Well, what? How do I transform people? How do I help them through the transition.

I bring them home.

Then everything's possible.

I have a great story about.

Trees.

That just happened to me when you were saying that I I just have to share it.

I have, I.

Brought a tree from my son's house, because.

Like tearing up all the shrubbery over there.

And there's 1 tree. It's pretty big, and I just like I love the street. I don't want you to tear it out so.

He dug it up, and he brought it over to my house, and I planted it.

And all the leaves died.

And I I was just holding onto the trunk.

Telling it, please live.

And I've planted you with all these other baby trees and the mama trees right over there, and I just please live.

And the leaves turn brown and curled up and fell off, and I was.

I waited and waited and.

Then, just as I was getting ready to reach over to pull it out, I noticed there was little green leaves all over the trunk.

Like it lived.

Yeah.

Well, and that and that's a perfect example of.

Of? Are we connected.

To where we want to go.

Or are we just like.

Being transplanted, being transplanted, being transplanted and going nowhere.

And the example is perfect, because when you.

Get that new soil, or that new home, or the new job, or whatever the transition is.

It's not immediate.

You have to come home.

To see the growth.

To realize.

There's new.

Growth. There's new leaves coming. There's new.

Aspirations, coming.

Yeah.

And the roots have to go down, and they have to like.

Get into the community and become part of.

The ecosystem.

That's in.

Yep.

In the new place that they're coming home to.

Yeah.

It needs to become established as their home.

When they've.

They've made the transition. Yeah, this, this whole thing, like.

Well, and.

Totally, works.

And it's interesting because I'm very connected to willow trees, and they're known as the Wisdom.

The wisdom keepers of the.

Tree Family.

And one day I was sitting with them, and it was just like.

What am I missing? I don't know what I was.

Trying to figure out that day.

But it was the message I basically got was.

The wisdom is here we are the first.st

Internet.

Yeah.

And I was like.

What?

And then, and so then it was like they went on to say that.

As we grow as we have this big, beautiful tree above.

We're the same.

Below.

And I was like.

Huh!

So we're trying to build this.

Beautiful feature.

But how much are we building it in? So it will last so it will grow and flourish.

Because if we don't build roots.

We're dangling in the wind.

And when wind comes it will blow over, because it's not.

And so as you, yeah. So as you're going through a transition.

Okay, I want this new house.

Okay.

But have you thanked your old house.

Have you?

Understood the roots that you made, whether 6 months a year, whatever.

Before you move on to this new house.

Or this new job.

Right.

So it's being grateful and thankful for everything that has brought you to this point before you move to the next point.

I'm giving space for.

Yeah.

New things, and.

New connections to be made.

And not it, expecting.

When you transition into something that it's gonna be.

As sturdy and stable as the thing that you're leaving.

Because.

You haven't developed the roots, and you haven't made connections, and you haven't.

Given it time to.

Kind of relax into.

Being the new normal for you.

And, on the other hand, it could be.

Like if you're leaving a stressful marriage.

It could be the 1st time you're breathing in a long time.

Like.

I can breathe.

Like this is my space, however big or small it is.

I don't care that I'm sitting on the floor.

'cause it's my space.

Right.

This is. This is really interesting. My daughter is getting ready to move out.

Yeah.

And she's getting her own place.

It's like.

It's a closet.

Yeah.

Let's just be honest.

It's her closet, though.

But it's gonna be her closet, and we're and she's an hour from home.

And she's just like getting ready to launch, and it's very exciting for her, because she.

She's at the very beginning of her life.

And on the other side my husband and I are looking at it like.

We're we're transitioning into the back end of our lives.

And.

And.

We're not gonna have any kids at home.

For the 1st time in.

You know our 30 years together.

The 1st time in my whole adult life that I haven't really had kids.

In my home.

Yeah.

Since I was in my twenties.

So it's.

Just an interesting.

How the.

The dynamics are happening and.

We're we're all very excited, you know, for different reasons, and.

This is interesting, how transitions happen.

They don't just happen to the person who's transitioning.

Even if you're moving or getting divorced or getting a new job.

Or starting a new career, or.

Becoming an entrepreneur. All these things they don't just impact you.

Impact, everybody.

They impact the community around you.

And that's that's a good point. Because.

As much as like, say.

You know your last child's leaving the home.

And I've had this with couples. They look at each other and go.

Do we like each other.

Do we like? Where are we in this situation.

Because you don't have that child.

Anymore, to interact, to buffer, to right.

And I've seen couples really struggle.

With.

Finding themselves as the unit before they have babies.

You know.

Yeah.

Retirement does that to people too.

Yeah.

When, like my husband, retired.

About 3 years ago, now.

And so, and he was a truck driver. So he was gone all but maybe 3 days a month for most of our marriage, and last few years he'd been gone. He was home.

2 or 3 days a week.

Yeah.

That gone the rest of the.

So.

Having him come home.

I've been living his life for him like.

The whole time he was gone.

He didn't have friends, he!

Come home, and I wait on him hand, because you know.

He's out there doing his thing, and I can do whatever I want when he's gone.

Yeah.

So when he came home.

We had to really decide.

Where our boundaries were.

Yeah.

We we both like our alone time. We need space.

From each other and other people.

Every day.

And we like to do things together. We like each other.

But.

We don't want to have to do.

For each other all the things all the time.

Yeah.

And it's it's been interesting how it's evolved, because.

He's gotten out in the community. He goes to the gym 3 days a week, and he knows all these people, and he's made friends at the hot tub that he goes to a few times a week.

Yeah.

I mean, he's got all of these activities, and he knows people. When he goes to the grocery store. He's learned how to grocery shop.

Yeah.

I mean he never grocery.

Before.

Well, you don't, though.

Right like when you're on the road all the time that like.

You know they know the inside of convenience stores or trucks.

Yeah, like, it's. It's a totally different life. But grocery shopping's a new adventure.

Yeah. And and as the person who's the primary fooder.

In the beginning, because he's learned how to cook.

Even.

Yeah.

His idea of cooking used to be sticking things in the microwave, but we took the microwave out of our house.

So.

You have the toaster, and I bought them these cute little pads.

To cook his stuff in the cast, but they're really tiny.

Yeah.

News.

He's doing really good. It's.

And he's developed.

Well, and I think now it's like, you guys get to.

Rediscover who you are.

As a couple, and date and.

You know. Hang out. And okay, we've hung out enough bye. Go to your respective places in your house or yard, or whatever right and.

Yeah. And like that, that's the whole thing about.

You know, transition.

Is.

If you're not clear.

On what you want.

You can't get mad at someone for breaking your boundaries.

Yeah.

If it's if it's a sliding.

Scale, right.

And.

And.

And even even with like your kids moving out too, it's like.

You're so excited that they're starting their life together.

And there are only a phone call away.

Weather's 2 miles. 500 miles. Their phone call away.

You know.

And.

And I think that gives them the little bit of safety of.

Well, I'm out here, but I'm not alone.

Yeah, she's moving to be closer to her friends.

Who are up there at the University, and.

It's.

I'm so happy for her. I mean, this is just like such a great move for her.

And she's got ideas about what she wants to do, and she's taking the steps that she needs to take in order to make them happen. But.

It's just.

Yeah, all of life is about transitions.

I could just.

And and being able to navigate them well.

I think does take.

Sometimes it. It's really helpful to have somebody along that can say.

Yeah, you're gonna experience these sorts of things, and these feelings are valid.

Exactly.

And if you just need somebody to talk to about those feelings.

Because sometimes like.

I know when I got divorced.

Many, many years ago, before the Internet.

And my parents were only barely talking to me at any given time.

I didn't.

Have anybody.

It was.

It was horrible.

It was like I didn't.

I didn't know how to process the feelings I was having.

And.

I ended up changing jobs at the same time, and.

Yeah.

It was just.

It was just really weird.

And and lonely.

And I even went to a therapist at 1 point. But I didn't even know.

What to ask. The therapist.

Or what to say to the therapist.

Therapist, let me tell you that I left. It was like I I don't know what that point was.

But I think I think it also like even with the people I work with.

If you come and you're going well, I don't know.

I just thought it.

Try you up.

Okay, what are we working on.

I don't know.

Do you have any questions?

Maybe.

And it's like.

So.

And I'm saying this for anyone.

If you're going to go and get help.

Congratulations.

But you got to do a little work before you get there.

So we know.

Where you want to go.

Sorry cause I might.

Oh, well, you showed up, and you have nothing to say. But well, I can see that. You know you're in transition. You know. You're going through this.

Okay.

I don't want to tell you what you're doing.

I want you to tell me.

How to help you come home.

How to help you come home to you.

So you never end up in this space again.

Right.

Because I remember talking to.

Different co-workers when I used to be in corporate, and I'd be like.

So why are you leaving team.

Well, it's gotta be better.

And I said.

Well, how's it going to be better?

Well, because this is just a different team like it's it's, you know.

And I said.

But it's still you.

What do you mean?

I go unless you change.

The team's not going to change. You're gonna get the same reaction.

So you really want to change teams, you want to change you.

Right.

You are always in.

But you're asking some questions that lead them to understanding that.

They need to be an active participant in this, and it starts with them.

Yeah.

But it's also like, if you are just changing, because someone says, Oh, well, this positions, okay, I'll come.

Hawaii.

Why are you feeling? You need to leave the team? You're on.

Right.

Because maybe the team you're on is the best fit for you at this time. But if you don't.

Examine it.

How? How do you know? The next team is a.

Gonna be the same thing.

It could be better, it could be worse. But you don't know, cause you haven't done self discovery and.

Yeah. And it's just it's just interesting, because I have a friend who just left her job.

Because she got poached right. I mean, it still happens.

And.

She said. She's never.

Had such.

An emotional.

2 weeks.

Ever.

Like some people just wouldn't talk to her.

Others were just like.

Why are you doing this to us? And she's just like.

She was shocked at the emotion, and I said.

But I totally get it. She's like, why? Because you are the encourager, you the team player. You're a phenomenal leader.

And she's like, Oh, and I go.

And you've actually stayed long enough for people to get to know you.

Right, I said, but I also understand. You go into this other company.

Because it's ready to take off.

Right. It's smaller they got, you know. They have forward, thinking she's a forward leader like.

You know I get it.

That's what you.

Have to deal with the emotions.

Yeah.

Yeah. And she's surprised. Right?

Then sometimes you're just not expecting them.

Because you don't know what you don't know.

Yep.

Until you get to the other side.

It's like.

Yeah.

When I went into the therapist.

I didn't know what questions to ask.

Yeah.

I didn't even consider that I should.

Talk about your divorce.

Right.

Yeah.

Or how I was feeling about it.

Yeah.

Or.

You know.

Just to process the emotions that I had.

Yep.

Cause I initiated. It was like.

I was either going to get divorced or commit suicide, and I decided that, you know divorce was probably the better of the 2 choices.

Yep.

So I left him.

But I I.

I didn't really have the emotional.

The the tools back in those days.

We didn't talk about our emotions.

No.

We didn't talk about how we were feeling about things. You just powered through it, and.

You know it.

What you filter, or who you were fundamentally didn't matter.

Yep.

Was just like you were just expected to be. Whatever.

The team needed.

Yeah.

And put up with whatever.

Well.

Especially as women.

And that's changing.

Because we are in the cycle of emotions.

As a world.

Yeah.

And.

I think it's a great thing.

I know, but.

Everyone's getting caught off guard.

Including I did because I like I used to go. I was one friend.

Man your water works. Oh, leave me alone! I'm like no, that's cool, like. I don't know how you do that.

Right like I. I'm always like amazed that people can cry at movies. I'm like, How do you do that?

Well.

Waterworks have turned on, because I'm just like.

I feel it all now, right, because I'm allowing myself to be the empath.

Hmm.

Right. I just didn't. I didn't.

I used to block it because I was like.

I was bombarded with it, and I didn't understand it.

And now it's like Oh, I understand it! I can.

You know, and I still.

Have to be very careful, being with groups of people and.

You know, because I can get over.

Overwhelmed.

Really really easy.

It's being.

More emotionally connected, I think, to who we are.

As as opposed to going through.

Through life, just.

Being told what you should think and feel.

And for me that that happened a lot.

In my life.

Well, but it's also it's also like that's part of coming home to you. It's like what conditioning.

What untrues and what beliefs have you been told that aren't yours?

And can you let go of that.

Yeah.

Are they serving you?

Yeah.

And just really looking at them.

And I'm.

Personally, I'm so grateful that.

We've we've come to this point as a.

Civilization. Really, the whole world is, is moving in this direction.

Yep.

Where it's.

It's more important. The being is more important than the doing.

Because the doing always gets done.

Somehow.

Somehow, some way it always gets done.

And it's also more important to realize that the.

I.

And the you are leaving.

It's the me and the unity.

Right. If we look after.

The me in our heart.

Hmm.

The community of the unity will happen.

You.

And and you know, and and I'm gonna say, like.

We've come through some crazy times.

We still got some more.

David. It's all in how you choose to.

Move through.

I'm choosing to be the duck.

Yeah.

That's nice.

Thanks for sharing on my day.

Okay.

It.

It seems like over the last 4 or 5 years.

Since.

It's like the pandemic was.

A turning point for the whole world.

And there's like before that. And after that.

But it seems like after.

Is.

Even though.

There's a lot of emotion trying to be jinged up.

On!

All sides of the political.

Field out there.

But I'm very apolitical. I I really could care less.

I think they're all.

They're all the same, and they're they all need to go. But that's just my opinion.

In time.

But I think that.

I'm sorry.

In time. It's not going to happen overnight, but in time.

Yeah, I think that. And I think in time they will all go.

But.

It's interesting that more and more people are starting to feel like.

I feel.

In terms of.

You know, they're just. It's just a show.

And it's not.

I don't have to have an emotional reaction to everything that's going on.

Hmm.

I can just watch it.

And.

And recognize that.

It's moving in a direction.

It'll move in a different direction.

There's probably something else totally going on.

Behind the scenes that we aren't even.

Being shown.

So it's not even reality.

We're just giving.

We're just given this show and told how to.

To respond. The people on this side should respond like this, and the people over here should respond like this.

Well.

Does the audience participation.

And.

It's like.

And the guidance I've been.

Getting, is.

Choose the light for whatever that looks like for you.

And the outcome will be the outcome, because it's already in the plan.

But choose the light. For what?

That looks like for you.

And.

That's all you can do.

Right.

Yeah, I just enjoy.

Like vote don't vote like well.

I I don't agree with not voting.

I don't care what your political lease.

Say something somewhere.

Put. Follow your light, follow your inner light, and you'll like that's that's the whole thing about coming home, because.

When when you're home in your body, following your heart.

Not your head.

There's never a wrong decision.

Can't happen.

Your heart won't lead you down the wrong path.

Right, and even if it looks like the wrong path, because, like.

Something bad happened, or whatever you're like.

Okay.

That could be good, it could be bad. What's the bigger reason? What am I learning this for? What is this happening for.

Right.

And it's.

You just.

Gotta do what's best for you without harming others.

Yeah.

So how do people work with you?

Well.

Let's see.

So they can. They can book a 1 on one session.

And have like I call it the look and feel.

And so.

Yeah, they could book a 1 on one session. But I also have a few more spots for my 3 month program.

And so that's more of.

Going through the full journey of where you are. What's going on doing the transition.

Making sure you're okay on the other end.

Before you know and.

Yeah.

Good.

So.

Is that a group.

No, it's 1 on one.

One, online, okay.

I've been guided to offer that because people are.

Wanting to shift.

But they want the.

Amanity to do do it on their own.

Makes perfect sense.

Right. And I was like, cause I was gonna do a group and.

It was like.

These, these.

These people out of the program might want to get a group going after.

And I'll allow that when that comes. But.

For right now it's like they.

I'm being guided to.

People are too fragile.

Yeah.

They're they're trying to come home to themselves.

After.

The last 4 years before they.

Venture out into this new.

Unknown.

They know it's better. They know it's good.

They just don't know.

And so.

Yeah, it's just.

Yeah.

Getting the roots down, to to get established, and to.

Yeah.

Get your footing and.

To feel confident in.

And being.

A being.

No.

Before they start.

Like.

Letting their light out and.

Putting out their leaves.

Well.

And.

As we started this conversation I had to do it first.st

Because I've like. I've always felt myself very sharing my light, sharing the love and kindness, and then it was like.

Even I was kind of going.

What?

What are you talking about? More? What do you mean more.

Right. Step up more shine, more like I'm like.

Okay.

And so I've done the transformation myself. So now I'm I'm more aware.

Of how.

I can help people.

And and.

And it's working like it's working with, like your DNA, it's working with the land of your house is on. It's working with.

All those you know, like we said untruths that the.

The conditioning, the beliefs that aren't yours.

Those have come down through your lineage right.

A lot of healing for the feminine.

Not women, fem.

This happening.

And.

And, more importantly, like the walls need to come down.

Those those what we think are safety barriers are actually.

Hurting us, now.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They're they're keeping us from being connected.

Yeah.

To others.

Yeah.

Yes, bad things have happened, but they don't have to hold you back anymore.

Right.

Yeah.

It.

And it's coming to your truth, not my truth, for you. Your truth.

And only you know your truth.

I'm just here to hold your hand while we figure it out for you.

I like that. I like that a lot.

Nice.

Are you a channel.

Yeah, I, thought.

I thought I remembered that, and.

And you've always been a channel you've had.

Encounters with.

The others.

Or since you were really young.

So whether like.

It's your pet.

That needs help.

You need help.

I wouldn't say I'm a medium, but I have channeled from the other side for loved ones if they come through. I don't say no.

It's.

By.

Whoever is in front of me.

Is who comes in.

Because my guides talk to your guides, and then they.

Hash it out before it comes through me.

It's like, what are we doing? What are we doing? Okay?

I think I know.

Okay. Nope, you're taking a different road. Okay? And so it's it's a journey, too. Right?

No no turn here.

Yeah, it's a journey. And so and see, that's the other thing, too. Right? Because AI is so prevalent in our lives.

And people have forgotten how to.

Just drive.

Without a GPS.

Or how to use maps.

So if you can't drive your car.

No, if you can't drive your well.

Kids nowadays don't even know how to. They don't even have the wiring to understand a map.

Hmm.

So if you don't even know how to drive a car to find a place without GPS.

You think you're finding your heart from your head?

Interesting. I just got a flash about.

Kids and clocks.

They can't read them.

They can't read analogs. One of my kids cannot read.

An analog clock, no matter how many times I've tried to teach her, she just like.

She's 20 and.

She's always had digital clocks around.

Yeah.

The other ones knew how, but she.

She just never.

Well, and and they

I.

I don't know who did the science on it, but they.

Maybe Bruce, Lipton.

I don't know. I don't know.

But there was.

Scientists that say.

Like the 25, and under.

Never be the clock. We'll never know how to do a map.

Like the the basic things that we knew grew up with whatever.

They just have no comprehension.

Telephones.

If they don't have that wiring right.

And I was like, that's so weird. But yet.

Can they get you anywhere in the world with their phone, whether they speak the language or not?

Right.

Yeah.

So, and then and then you come to the Canadians, who just messed up all the way because.

We had the American system.

And the British system, and we mash them.

So sometimes we're talking ounces. Sometimes we're talking inches, sometimes we're talking feet, sometimes we're talking.

Kilometers like you're going.

Whatever.

We're Canadian.

We did our own way.

Yeah.

I just speak 2 languages.

Not really.

We couldn't even decide to just stick with one.

Well, no, but I mean it's just because we have Quebec. But if you think about like, because where I'm from in Alberta.

Right.

There's no French spoken here.

I know.

It's all Spanish.

To see.

So like.

I guess you know, if I go to the East I could understand the French.

But if you go downtown, Calgary.

It's Spanish.

There's no French.

Like so much so when I was working.

And I was waiting for the elevator, and everyone was talking. And I'm like.

You guys are all in Canada. Speak it.

Dead silence!

Well, thank you.

Right.

If you want to be in your country and speak your language.

Then stay there. We came to Canada. We speak English.

Unless you're in Quebec.

Oh!

That's true.

But they're they're.

Piggy.

Quebec qua is, is a totally different French than France.

Oh, yeah.

Right.

Like we I had. I had a kid in my class who was from Quebec.

Who failed.

French class.

And our teacher.

Probably drove him crazy because he's trying to learn a different language. That's.

So close, but.

Very different.

Well, that's how we say about the new piece, too. You only can talk to them before they drink.

Because once that kitchen party starts. Oh, my lord, you can't understand a word they're saying, because.

The the pitch changes, the speed.

Goes up, like.

5 times.

And you're like.

What?

And then you don't really care, because you're just having a good.

Kitchen party.

Like.

Nobody remember in the morning, anyway. So.

I know, but I mean.

It's all good.

Yeah. But as a sober person, I'm just like.

Whoa!

I just laughed.

I don't know you guys are saying, but it's good time. Alright, yeah.

Yeah.

Damn!

It seemed like you're having fun, that's all that matters.

And so, yeah, so just to get back to when I work with people like they get that channel, they get that pure energy.

Right. And so, as you were saying, going into that psychologist or psychiatrist saying.

I don't know even the questions to ask.

I trust the guides to prompt you.

Yes.

To go.

See.

So what's going on in your life.

Well.

I I'm splitting from my husband. Oh.

Okay. So we have at least a lane. Are you splitting for Nut.

Right, and so

And I trust in that.

I

Because.

I always say, whoever.

Is meant to work with me. They find me.

If you're not meant to work with me, you won't find me.

Right.

But no, if you choose to work with me.

I will hold that container.

Of love and compassion.

And you never let alone.

I love that.

So this has been an amazing conversation. I really appreciate you joining me.

So what's the one thing that you hope the audience takes away from our conversation?

That.

We've covered so much.

I know that transition is a fact of life.

We're always going through it. We're.

Like, whether you call it transition change whatever we're always going through. It.

And.

I'm just here to say you don't have to do it alone.

I would like to.

Work with anyone who hears this and wants to work with me. It'd be my honor.

Yeah.

We're not alone. Let's do it together because we are a community.

Moving into unity.

And these are some.

Interesting times.

So.

Let's help you together.

Awesome. Believe it with that. Thank you so much.

Alright!