Coaches Corner

Break Free from People Pleasing & Perfectionism

Break Free from People Pleasing

Empowering Women Over 30 to Break Free from People-Pleasing & Perfectionism

Welcome to Limitless Empowerment with RhondaJay, where we help women over 30 break free from people-pleasing and stop feeling burnt out. Our goal is to empower you to break free from always trying to please others. Start living life on your own terms. We believe that you deserve to live a life that is fulfilling and true to yourself.

Are You a Perfectionist?

Breaking Free from People-Pleasing: The Path to a Happier, Healthier You

As a life coach specializing in helping individuals overcome people-pleasing and perfectionism, I’ve witnessed the profound impact these patterns can have on one’s life. People-pleasing, at its core, stems from a desire to be accepted and loved. While it might seem harmless or even beneficial on the surface, this behavior can lead to a life filled with misery, burnout, and disease. Understanding the roots of people-pleasing and recognizing that there is a way to break free from these patterns is the first step toward living a happier and healthier life.

The Misery of People-Pleasing

People-pleasing often leads to a cycle of stress, exhaustion, and dissatisfaction. When you constantly prioritize others’ needs and expectations over your own, you’re likely to experience a persistent sense of failure,.  It’s impossible to please everyone. This relentless pursuit can result in chronic stress, which, over time, may manifest as physical and emotional burnout and disease. The irony is that in trying to avoid conflict and ensure everyone else’s happiness, people-pleasers often neglect their well-being, leading to a life far from the happiness and peace they seek.

The Roots of People-Pleasing

For many, the tendency to please others is learned in childhood. Growing up, we observe and mimic our parents’ behaviors. Adopting their coping mechanisms as our own. If you were raised in an environment where love and affection were conditional upon your achievements or behavior, you might have learned to associate pleasing others with receiving love. This conditioning teaches us to suppress our desires and  opinions. It often results in reinforcing the belief that our worth is tied to our ability to meet others’ expectations.

The Path to Freedom

Recognizing that people-pleasing and perfectionism are learned behaviors is empowering because it means they can also be unlearned. That is to say breaking free from these patterns involves a journey of self-discovery, boundary setting, and embracing imperfection.

  1. Self-Discovery: Begin by getting to know yourself. Understand your desires, needs, and values. Understanding what truly matters to you is the foundation for making decisions that align with your authentic self, rather than trying to please others.

  2. Setting Boundaries: Learning to set and enforce healthy boundaries. This is crucial. Saying no when something doesn’t serve you. Because prioritizing your well-being and understanding that it’s okay to not meet everyone’s expectations is freedom. In other words, setting boundaries not only protects your energy but also teach others how to treat you.

  3. Embracing Imperfection: Perfectionism – a close ally of people-pleasing. By accepting that imperfection is a part of being human you will find liberation from the unattainable standards you’ve set for yourself. Embrace mistakes as opportunities for growth. Remember that your worth is not determined by your achievements or the approval of others.

Breaking free from people-pleasing and perfectionism is not an overnight process. It requires patience, persistence, and often, support from a coach or therapist. However, the freedom and joy that come from living authentically are well worth the effort. You deserve to live a life where your happiness and health are a priority, and breaking these patterns is a significant step towards that life. Remember, you have the power to rewrite your story and choose a path that leads to genuine contentment and well-being.

Jill Hart

Known as the "git 'er done gal" Jill has 40 years of experience building businesses around a big family. Her passion, now, is helping busy moms (and dads) create 5-figure side gigs without having to sacrifice their family time.

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